Chapter Text
It was late, too late. Late to sleep, late to dream, late to even live. The room was completely silent, the dim light of the candles fading as they melted. Clarke rolled on the bed, wrapped in strangely delicate sheets and covered in animal fur. It had been two weeks and she hadn’t been able to go to Lexa’s room yet. She was not emotionally prepared. And even if she was, there were two grounders in front of the door, guarding it. Apart from them, there was no one else around. The grounders were still mourning their Heda’s death, and some mourned Lexa’s death too. But the fact that Heda had exhaled for a last time was still hovering over Polis, like a cloud that blocked the sun. Only the representatives from the twelve grounder clans walked up and down the tower, to the throne room. Gathering to choose a new leader, she thought. A new commander.
No, Clarke. A new Heda.
She felt like throwing out. Again. She was sure had caught the flu or something. She had thought of going to one of the grounder’s healers, but something told her she needed more than band aids and herbs. She needed her mother, and she needed her now. She stood up and put on her clothes, sneaking out of the room carefully. Avoiding the grounders that patrolled around the bedrooms, common areas and ruins of the tower, she descended with caution. “Octavia.” she spoke, looking at the girl as she closed a door behind her. She was a mere prisoner now, but she knew how to pass the walls. “You need to tell me how to enter Arkadia. Safely.”
“Clarke?!” Abigail couldn’t believe what she was seeing. Her daughter, pale and covered in dirt, bags under her eyes after travelling during the night. It was a vision the woman hadn’t thought she’d ever see. “What are you doing here?! In Arkadia?! At this hour?!”
“Shhhh.” Clarke hushed her, hearing steps. “Don’t speak. I need to talk to you right now. So shut up and listen. Lexa is dead.” she whispered, having to put a hand on her mother’s lips to muffle her gasp. “The grounders are looking for a new Heda. Whatever is happening right now in Polis, I have no idea. Ask Lincoln. I’ve been in my bedroom for two weeks, unable to think. No, I’m not a prisoner. I just, I haven’t felt well these days. And I know it’s something else than Lexa dying. I have cramps, but they’re not as strong as when I have my period. I’m starting to feel dizzy and tired, and it is not normal. And now, well, I haven’t had my period. I counted, and I should have had it three days ago. But I didn’t.”
“What are you suggesting?”
“I think I am pregnant, mom.”
“Who— Who’s the father?”
“There’s no father.”
“There must be one, Clarke. This is not like in the Bible, babies don’t fall from the sky.”
“That’s rich for someone who floated her daughter to Earth.”
“That’s—”
“I know, sorry. Let’s just focus. There’s no father. Literally,” she whispered as she put a hand on her belly. “I haven’t had sex with any guy for like, since I was with Finn.”
“Then it must be something else, let’s go and give you a check.”
“No, mom. Really, I spent almost all my time in the Ark watching you heal people, taking care of the mothers, the babies and the pregnant ones. I’ve seen all the symptoms, I’ve read about them. And I know, I simply know, that I am pregnant.”
“But how ?”
“I don’t know.”
“Who have you been with for the last two months? Maybe you have forgotten?”
“The list is not that long, mom. Just...”
“I mean apart from Lexa.”
“You know?!”
“Raven told me. And it was quite obvious.”
“Okay, so just Nylah, apart from Lexa.”
“And I’m gonna guess that Nylah is a girl too, reducing the possibilities of you being pregnant to zero.”
“Mom, I am sure.”
“How can you be sure?”
“I don’t know! You know, I have the feeling. I simply know there is something inside me.”
“Okay, I’m pretty sure this question is going to be offensive but… Does Lexa have a penis?”
“Mom!”
“What, a girl with a penis is still a girl, and I know Lexa loved you but she could have gotten you pregnant if—”
“No. She doesn’t have a— She didn’t.”
“Then how?! ”
“I don't know, mom! I just know that my girlfriend is dead and I am the next fucking Virgin Mary.”