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“I need to get up.”
Mathias turned his head, eyeing the sunshine warily. He was late already. Way too late. Several of his agents in the base would notice he would be late by now, which made it even worse.
But he didn’t get up.
Entangled with Flynn’s limbs, he sighed deeply, falling back into the cushions and Flynn’s chest, whose arms were firmly around his own, and whose breath tickled his neck in a sweet, addictive manner.
“You need to stay in bed.”
Flynn’s voice was like liquid honey in his ears, and Mathias found himself smiling. Closing his eyes, he dropped back into the weird, dangerous state of half-sleep.
“Actually, I think you should call in sick and spend the whole day in bed.”
Mathias huffed, but smiled. “And what reason should I say to be sick? I am never sick. No one will believe me.” He frowned. “Or they will think I’m so sick that I’m dying.”
“Oh, we can’t have that.”
Flynn rolled on top of him, and with a groan, Mathias found himself being pinned down by Flynn’s weight and warmth, unable to move, but his attempts to free himself were very, very… non-existent.
“You could say you are love sick, which can be very dangerous and deadly at times. But by the Tides, you’ve got the cure for it right here. Me. How handy!”
Unable to hide his smile and buried under Flynn’s body, Mathias didn’t fight his trapped state. Flynn smirked at him, and leaned forward to nibble his ears, a habit which Mathias found very confusing and charming every single time he did that.
However, he had a reputation to uphold, and he breathed tiredly against Flynn’s cheek.“Flynn - stop that, I need to get up.”
“It’s part of making you un-love-sick.”
“That’s not a word, you know?”
“It’s a word now.”
Mathias couldn’t answer - Flynn’s lips on his stopped him from answering, and his mind shut down, unable to mutter a proper response, or even think of a good one.
And he didn’t want to.
Flynn’s kisses were like feathery brushes, like stepping on clouds, like a warm blanket on a cold night. Sighing into the kiss, Mathias indulged in the scent and taste of his lover, only to feel one of Flynn’s hands wandering down to slide over his buttocks.
With a fast movement, Mathias held Flynn’s hand in position, opened his eyes and looked at him sternly. “No. I need to get up. Seriously.”
Sighing desperately, Flynn buried his face in Mathias’ chest. “You’re so cruel. I gave you the cure to become un-love-sick, yet you neglect me mine.”
Mathias swallowed down a warm smile, released Flynn’s hand and wrapped his arms back around Flynn’s chest. “I never said I’m not cruel.”
“You are the cruelest.”
“Maybe I am.”
The moment was peaceful. Only the steady tick-tock of the clock was making a sound in their bedroom right now, aside from Flynn’s steady breath and Mathias’ own.
The sun sneaked deeper through the window below the curtains, and Mathias tightened the grip around Flynn by reflex, a shadow slipping into his heart.
“Are you happy, Flynn?”
Mathias blinked. His voice sounded differently in his own ears, and he hadn’t even meant to ask that question. Flynn moved in his arms, until his chin rested on Mathias’ chest. The most beautiful pair of blue eyes looked into Mathias’ with a rather unusual serious sparkle.
“Yes.”
Throughout his entire life, Mathias had told so many lies that he sometimes wasn’t sure if he even was able to speak the truth anymore. The real, honest truth.
He had seen lies in people’s eyes, had learned how to see if someone lied or not… and there was not a single sign of that in Flynn’s.
Either that, or Mathias had become biased.
Which was a stupid thought, because he knew he was biased. Flynn could tell him anything and Mathias would believe him that.
Flynn had the utmost control over him, and Mathias wasn’t sure if the man realized that.
“Hey.”
The smile on Flynn’s lips became softer, his voice calmer, and his touches even more gentler than ever. Moving forward, Flynn planted kisses over kisses on Mathias chin, until Mathias’ head was full of clouds again.
“I love you, Mattie. You make me happy.”
Mathias knew that this wasn’t healthy, but he didn’t understand why.
And he knew he shouldn’t start this conversation - not now, not ever, not again. If he kept being this insecure and whiney, would he drive Flynn finally away with it?
When would he drive Flynn away?
“You’re doing it again, mate. Brooding, your poor brain. Speak to me.”
Mathias blinked and then closed his eyes with another sigh. The sunshine reached their bed by now, but he didn’t feel its warmth.
“No. Sorry, I’m… just tired, I guess. Forget it.”
Warm breath against his lips, and another kiss later, Mathias found himself clinging to his boyfriend in a pathetic way. Flynn moved so that he laid next to Mathias now, pulling his head close to his chest. “You are tired. That’s why I keep saying, stay at home and sleep.”
Mathias never called in sick, and showing weakness was still a no-go for him. He couldn’t afford weakness, he also couldn’t afford attachment, but here he was, wrapped up in the arms of his lover and risking coming late to work.
Well, even if he got up now, he’d already be late.
“Stay home with me today, love.”
Shuddering under the nickname, Mathias pressed his face into Flynn’s chest, tightening his grip. His body became warm and heavy again, and the call of sleep echoed deeply in his head.
“Have you ever thought of retiring?”
Taken by surprise, Mathias blinked himself awake. Flynn seemed genuine, but calm. Tilting his head, he moved until he could cup Mathias’ head and brush gently through his hair, playing with a strand of it. “I just… I know you love your job. I just don’t think you are your job, mate. And I think you gave so much for the king your entire life, you should start becoming a bit selfish for once.”
A spymaster didn’t retire. A spymaster also didn’t have working hours. A spymaster was his job. Mathias didn’t know differently, and it was something Flynn perhaps would maybe never be able to understand.
“I don’t want you to quit, Mattie. I just… You know- Would like you to be there when we are old and grey.”
Old and grey - Mathias always had felt like that. Until he met Flynn.
He had never thought as far as to retirement. He had never expected retirement. He had hoped for a quick death in the fight, though he doubted he’d be granted this mercy. Mercy and good things just weren’t meant for him.
“We got all the time in the world, Mattie. And I’ll stay even if you’re married with your job. Just think about it.” Flynn’s grip became tighter, and a soft kiss on his head made Mathias’ heart ache. “We could own a nice small cabin at a beach, with our twenty cats and ten parrots. Oh, and I want a few crabs.”
A rare chuckle escaped Mathias. He could see Flynn in some bathing trunks, bringing home just another pet with a bright smile on his face. He’d drink too much rum while lounging on the beach in a deck chair, and he’d try to sweet-talk and distract Mathias the whole day.
The picture was… peaceful.
A dream, really.
“I think we’re settled with one cat and one parrot, Flynn.”
And that was already more than he ever had thought he’d own. Then again, he’d never expected to have a… boyfriend.
Though that label didn’t feel right, and he wondered once more how he should approach that topic.
“But we have room for one more crab, right?”
Mathias sighed, and now it was his turn to roll over and place himself on top of Flynn. The proximity to the body of his lover didn’t feel uncomfortable anymore, and the familiarity and trust Flynn radiated was still something which surprised Mathias after all this time they were together by now.
“Thank you.”
For a while, they just looked at each other. Mathias combed with his fingers through Flynn’s hair, while he leaned into the touch of Flynn’s hand over his back. Physical proximity always had been something which had scared Mathias - it meant danger - but with Flynn it felt natural. Like breathing.
“For what?”
Instead of an answer, Mathias crooked a smile, leaned forward and started a kiss.
It wasn’t his first day of life together with Flynn, but it was the first day in their life he allowed himself a free day - and perhaps it wouldn’t be the last.
Until now, he hadn’t even known what to do with free time. Now he enjoyed every moment of it.
And for the first time in his life, Mathias saw himself becoming old and grey - old and grey with Flynn.