Work Text:
21581225_InterviewVeritasRatio_Transcript.pdf
The following transcript has been taken from the talk show ‘The Penaconian Chirper, property of the Interastral Peace Corporation. All rights reserved for the Interastral Peace Corporation.
Music plays. Audience cheers and applauds as interviewer comes on stage. Interviewer greets audience and sits down. Music fades out
Interviewer: On today’s special programme, we have a very special guest who is finally back in Penacony! You may know him as the man who solved the Energy Black-Body Radiation Generator crisis, or one of the brilliant minds behind the anti-planetary weapon. Or perhaps you know him as the professor whose classes you failed in university.
Audience laughs.
Interviewer: Please welcome to the show - Doctor Veritas Ratio!
Music plays. Applause. Veritas Ratio comes on stage and sits down. Music fades out.
Interviewer: Now, Doctor Ratio, you have quite the list of accolades. You’ve had breakthroughs in multiple areas, saved countless lives… you have eight PhDs, correct?
Ratio: Indeed.
Interviewer: Wow. When I was in university, I couldn’t wait to leave with my degree. I can’t imagine going through that eight times and coming out alive.
Ratio: If you are determined and focused in your efforts, the results will show.
Interviewer: But enough about me! You’re a busy man, and the whole world has been watching to see what you’ll do next. In fact, prior to this trip, you paid a visit to Penacony, right?
Ratio: Correct. I was managing a project for the IPC.
Interviewer whistles.
Interviewer: The IPC! You have friends in high places. How did you find Penacony the first time?
Ratio: I was quite preoccupied with my work on the first trip. I saw a few of the sights-
Interviewer: Such as?
Ratio: The casinos, the music performances.
Interviewer: Ah, all the attractions of Penacony. How did you find it?
Ratio: Rather gaudy and loud, as expected. However, I cannot deny the merits that it serves to its tourism board. It seems that the Planet of Festivities truly enjoys its extravagance.
Interviewer: I’m sure an intellectual such as yourself wouldn’t suit the scene. I’m curious: how did you end up in such a place? Did someone recommend it to you?
Ratio: I was dragged there by my… companion. He was working with me on the project. He was quite insistent that we go to the casinos, so that he could “try his luck”. An illogical man. I came along to supervise.
Interviewer: Seems to me that Doctor Ratio is surrounded by personalities just as big as himself!
Audience laughs.
Interviewer: Talk to me, Ratio. A brilliant man like you must have their fair share of interesting friends.
Ratio: I wouldn’t call us friends-
Camera zooms in on interviewer glancing at crowd, eyebrows raised. Audience laughs.
Ratio: ‘Work partners’ is more accurate. We often collaborate on projects assigned by the IPC. His plans are nonsensical and chaotic, but he has the talent to pull through each time.
Screen flickers on behind them. Pictures of Dr. Veritas Ratio and a shorter blond man in different parts of Penacony.
Interviewer: Ah, don’t get my hopes up like that! People online saw the two of you together. You seem very close!
Ratio: …Naturally, we are. All good collaborations require communication. It is only right that we interact fairly often. Though our inclinations may not always align, we are both committed to putting in consistent effort to… to make the best possible end result. Many of our projects are complicated and have some degree of risk, and so we need to be able to have complete faith in each other, as work partners.
Interviewer: I see. Well, you’ve come to Penacony on your own this time around. What would you like to do?
Ratio: I will be holding a guest lecture at Paperfold University. For anyone interested, I will be free to answer any academic-related queries during that time.
Interviewer: Excellent! On behalf of Penacony, I'd like to welcome you back. To anyone watching, if you’re interested, you can go to Paperfold University’s website to find out more about Doctor Ratio’s lecture. Thank you so much for your time. Give it up for Doctor Veritas Ratio, everybody!
Music plays. Audience applause. Camera zooms out to interviewer and Dr. Ratio shaking hands. Dr. Ratio walks off stage. Music fades out.
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Logs of Blackboard, Lecture Hall A05
Event Name: Guest lecture at Paperfold University, Penacony
User name: Dr. Veritas Ratio, PhD (V.R.)
Begin report:
Dr. Veritas Ratio, PhD (V.R.) was invited as a guest lecturer to conduct an in-depth analysis using his work ‘What is Knowledge’, compulsory for all students taking the major of ‘Philosophy’. Extra seats were open for public reservation.
The lecture targeted the many queries from students, including how the work was conceived, how it was acclaimed by critics as the "ultimate answer to all 'epistemological' questions", as well as, to quote a student, “What does 'epistemological' mean?”. Many insightful takeaways were gleaned from this conversation, and V.R utilised visual aids such as diagrams and drawings on the blackboard to aid understanding.
After the lecture was concluded, V.R. allowed for participants to approach him for further enquiry on the subject. There were a number of questions of various natures, not necessarily pertaining to the lecture subject. One student enquired about the validity of gaining knowledge from those around them, despite a difference in intelligence quotient (IQ).
V.R. supplied his own life experience to support his counterargument. Using the character of ‘a gambler’, he illustrated how an illogical system would still benefit oneself in acquiring knowledge. He argued that knowledge, as a non-quantifiable substance, could not be accurately measured in a way that deemed one more or less knowledgeable than another. When followed up with the query on why he then called some people idiots, he concluded the lesson.
Time elapsed: 05:32:35
End report.
-
Dear me,
I am never in a prime position to observe Veritas, and I resent that greatly.
I suppose I can feel somewhat grateful that he remembers to polish and shine me, but that’s just basic courtesy! He should be more mindful of the things around him, and give all of us the opportunity to see the world. I’m a young tome! At the tender age of 35! I should be going out there, exploring and seeing the sights! I should be meeting and mingling with the other books in my area! Why does Veritas get to do that and I don’t?
The person Veritas talks to doesn’t even have a cute tome of his own. He has so much money, but he can’t even afford to spare a little thought for a single ole’ me? When is it my turn? The two of them, Veritas and his partner (I think his name’s Aventurine? Adventurine? I don’t know. I’m not a dictionary) keep doing this uselessly sickening banter where they try to flirt but in corporate lingo.
Veritas is always so uptight! Have I taught him nothing about being in touch with his feelings? We were doing so well when he was a kid, when he used me as a diary to pour out his heart. Now he’s old and stuffy and so terrible at flirting. It’s not so much upsetting as it is disappointing.
The Aventurine fellow did have a nice hat, though. We haven’t seen him in a while, but I’ve snuck a few peeks at Veritas’ phone, and it says that he’s still recovering. Recovering from what? Getting his hand stuck in a slot machine?
I hope his hat is okay. Perhaps I have a shot with them. Should I use pick-up lines? “Are you a magician’s hat? Because you make everything around me disappear when I look at you”. No, that’s too long and clunky.
I remember when Veritas was looking up gambling pick up lines. Now those were atrocious. I mean, what the hell is “Are you a slot machine? Because I’d love to pull your lever”. HORRIBLE! I’m glad he gave up on the idea too. Maybe pick-up lines aren’t the play. We shall regroup and brainstorm again.
-end-
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The air is frigid and dizzying.
Alas, such is life when one is born to spin for entertainment, over and over again with no end in sight. When your purpose of existence is spliced into three sweet ice cream treats, created only to pique curiosity and boost sales, there is not much to do.
Fortunately, they live in a place bustling with activity. Each morning they are roused by the sound of a giant capsule being launched up into the sky, and they spend the rest of the day watching people talk, play, dance, sing. It certainly could be worse, but it definitely could be better.
There is not much else around for them to do, so they spend most of their time doing their two favourite hobbies: watching and gossiping. With so many beings milling about them, there is rarely a dull moment. The three wine bottles fighting for love was a soap opera for the ages. The cautionary slot machine, warning a gambling addict in vain. The sickly pale blond man, heaving against a ledge, and his dark haired partner, desperate, pressing a final gift into his hands before a forlorn goodbye.
So close, yet so far.
They never did find out what happened - inanimate objects aren’t the most privy to current affairs - but judging from the meteors of gold and the cleave of red shortly after, they can hazard a guess. That, and the dark haired man is back today, after 3 months. He’s alone this time, silent and sullen and looking very, very small.
Most people (and by people, they mean the tourists, the rowdy and drunk crowd that has money to throw and time to spare) come to Golden Hour with wide eyed wonder, a skip in their step and too overwhelmed to know where to even begin.
The lonely man, however, is firm in his gait, ignoring all distractions thrown his way. The three treats consider calling out, but there is also a collective fear of being consumed by mistake, and an intensity radiating off the man that they would prefer to avoid. So they stay very still and watch.
He walks to a ledge, a short solid thing whose only purpose is to encase plants. Wiping away any remnants of dirt, he sits, back turned to the trio. There is a period of time where he adjusts himself, stretching his legs and cracking his neck. The man’s shoulders shake - once, twice - before he finally settles into motionless silence. He leans his head back, staring at the sky blankly.
The ice creams have seen many people pass by. To the world, perhaps all people look the same. But the three treats have had nothing but time to hone their senses and polish an eye for detail. They can tell when some visitors leave with their hearts full, and others leave empty-handed. They have witnessed the moment of ecstasy when a jackpot is hit, and the earth-shattering despair of people going all in just to lose in an instant. Penacony is unique to all who enter it.
But not once have they seen anyone as void as this man. Though neat in his attire, hair clipped stylishly back with a laurel pin, he seems to have nothing.
No, that is not quite right.
He wants something that he cannot have. His hollow self yearns for something beyond his grasp, something that even the splendor of the Planet of Festivities cannot compensate for. It is clear that this fellow has lost something here, and is now trying to regain it. What it could possibly be, the trio has no idea. They unanimously agree, too, that they would rather not know. Ignorance is bliss, this time.
After a while, the man gets up to go. As he trudged down the streets, disappearing beneath the shadows of the lights, the three ice creams think only one thing:
Certainly, our lives could be worse.
They resume their spinning, and think of him no more.
-
Dialing: Gambler
Call has failed. Would you like to try again?
Yes/No
Dialing: Gambler
Call has failed. Would you like to leave a message?
Yes/No
“Aventurine. I have recently returned to Penacony for a short seminar with Paperfold University. Is there anything you’d like from here? I found that perfume shop that you enjoyed, the one which you bought that suffocating scent from.
Ah, perhaps I should take your advice and just buy it first. It seems that you are fond of gifts, as is your habit. I myself have received plenty from you. Perhaps too much, in fact. You must be a little more frivolous in your spending.
I will make your gifts a mystery, I suppose. You always did appreciate an element of surprise. When you wake up, perhaps I will be back at Pier Point. Do not hesitate to contact me then.
Have a good rest. I will await your call.”
Voice message sent.
-
Incoming call. Would you like to pick up?
Yes/No
Call declined.
Incoming call. Would you like to pick up?
Yes/No
“Good eve-”
“Hi, Doctor. Did you miss me?”
FIN