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His eyes drifted down to their interlocked fingers. He shifts the weight from his heels to his toes as the music starts up again and the platform began its rotation. He absentmindedly nodded along to the song, unable to contain excitement at the fact they were holding hands, even if for survival purposes. Nobody else seemed to notice them, if they did they didn't care. Nam-gyu supposes they were probably way more concerned about living through another round of this game rather than worrying about him or Thanos.. He could sense everyone’s unease of having them around still. He doesn’t blame them. He would probably be scared of Thanos too if he wasn't so adjusted to him. Okay, adjusted is the wrong word. Not that Nam-gyu would ever say aloud but it's more close to admiration. No, that's still not quite true. It was love.
He loved Thanos. It was something that had been building up since meeting him for the first time in Club Pentagon, but it really blossomed in the games. Nam-gyu was used to being a background character, following people who wished they stood out.. the difference was Thanos did stand out.
Thanos wasn't afraid of his consequences, even with the extremely high risk of death. Any other wannabe that Nam-gyu had met would've caved a long time ago under the stress. Of course, the pills had a great impact on how much Thanos cared, but even without them he stood out. In a sea of bland and boring people he stood out as an amethyst oddity.
So, maybe, just maybe, Nam-gyu was a little obsessed with the aforementioned rapper. So what if he wanted to stick by his side for the entirety of the games (and the rest of his life too?) What or who was gonna stop him? Except, maybe, death?
“Two players.”
The spinning platform shakes to a halt, jolting all the players into a frenzy. The robotic voice calls out to them and immediately the lights begin flickering, plunging everyone into darkness and disorientation. He sees people moving before he does, only for a second or two then they're gone. Suddenly, before he’s even able to react, he's being pulled towards a door.
He barely blinks before he realises he's in a red room, Thanos is using all of his strength to keep the door closed from others trying to pry it open, their hands aren't holding anymore. Nam-gyu joins him in pushing the door closed and manages to lock it. He keeps eyeing the timer on the wall, then the people outside. Every so often he sees a frantic face run past, they glance through the window, their eyes widening more as they see Nam-gyu and Thanos staring back at them.
“Holy shit!” Thanos laughs out, watching the seconds tick away.
5..
4..
3..
2..
1..
The click of the locks echo around the rooms and so does the yelling. “No! No no no no no..!” He can hear a door handle rattling just a few doors down. He and Thanos share a look. Neither dared to look out the window.. not after Gyeong-su.. but the screaming fades fast, and they're plunged into silence.
“Congratulations on passing the game. Please be patient as we clean up before we let you return to the main room.”
The robotic voice chimes in again, almost deafening the boys. Though it all stays quiet after that. Thanos is the first to sit on the floor, but Nam-gyu is quick to slide in beside him. “Man, I wonder how Min-su is..”
Nam-gyu scoffs out a laugh, “You’re worried about that idiot?” He rolls his eyes, Thanos shoves him by the shoulder, but Nam-gyu just pops right back up beside him, even closer than before. “He's probably fine.” Nam-gyu mutters out, begrudgingly. He feels the urge to overlap their hands again, but he tries to refrain, can't go making it obvious you're in love with him, right, Nam-gyu?
“We better see him back there.” Thanos grumbles out what sounds to be a threat, but is likely just his way of hoping he's alive. Nam-gyu wonders if he would be saying the same thing about him if they had gotten separated. He hopes so. He convinces himself he would, even if deep down he doesn't believe so.
Whilst in the process of convincing himself, he fails to notice his hand going rouge on him and slipping into one of Thanos’.. Who doesn't actually seem to mind. Wow, hah, did this room just get really hot out of nowhere? I mean.. it's understandable to hold hands when the game was going on, y’know, to not get lost or separated, but the game was over now.. they were safe. Nam-gyu turns his attention to the timer on his left, craning his head upward to see it. Nothing was on it, of course, just the same “00” it had been displaying for the past.. he wants to say 5 minutes? It was definitely longer than any other time taken to clean up, but he doesn't want to dare look outside.
He bites at his chapped lips, “They sure are taking their time, huh?” He tries to fill the silence, his thumb rubbing against Thanos’ hand. Thanos doesn't respond, but glances up at the window, even though they can't see out of it from their angle on the floor. “I— I’m sure everyones fine—”
He cuts his sentence short as Thanos suddenly turns his head to him, his eyes focused on him.
“Ever think of cutting your hair?”
Nam-gyu isn't sure how to respond. He stutters out some combination of syllables but no real words. He takes a breath to think through some sort of answer. Is this some strange trick question? Maybe he's trying to get his mind off whatever was happening outside. For the sake of the latter reason, Nam-gyu goes along with it.
“Not really, I don't really care about my hair..” Ironically, he takes to using his free hand to brush away from stands in his face and in just in general fix his hair, though he's being a lot more awkward about it, seeing Thanos staring at him out of the corner of his eye. He glances at Thanos,“Why?” He questions, having thought his hair was sitting nicer than it was before.
“You ever think of dying it?” Thanos seems to ignore the boys question for the sake of his own. Nam-gyu shrugs in response, “Too much effort.. I like my colour..” Thanos nods, as though he had given a correct answer.
The conversation flows like this for a while. Thanos spearheading the conversation like a picky guy at a speed-dating event, asking question after question and not bothering to answer ones given to him. Sometimes he would cut off Nam-gyu halfway through asking a question, other times just ignore his questions altogether.
“You're not going to answer any of my questions?”
Thanos turns to Nam-gyu and tilts his head slightly, before focusing back on the wall. “I can't fucking focus on anything, it's easier to hear you talk. Get my mind off—” His breath shakes for a second, “I— Fuck. Gyeong-su.. Shit, man, he was like a brother to me..” It was clearly an over exaggeration, Thanos didn't know a thing about the man except he was some sort of superfan. Nam-gyu liked the idea that his voice was soothing Thanos, though. So he kept talking.
He talked about his job, how he couldn't wait to get enough money to stop living in the shitty apartment complex he was stuck in above a club, how he would kill to get high and just relax again, rather than to dull the pounding fear of death. How he had found some small restaurant that was hiring, the hours seemed reasonable enough considering the hours Club Pentagon had him on, and the owner of the cafe didn't seem threatening like his current boss. The place didn't seem to get much business but they had nice coffee and maybe it would be nice to switch up from being stuck in crammed and loud rooms with strobe lights constantly flickering, getting pushed and shoved in every direction at once simultaneously. He talked about the kind of headaches he would feel after just 15 minutes into his shift.
Eventually, all good things must come to an end. Some kind of scuffle seemed to be happening somewhere on the other side of the room. There was a clang, some scuffling, stifled sobs, pleading, then a single shot. Nam-gyu instinctively felt his face cringe at the thought of what might have happened. Thanos seemed to be tuning out the sounds, his eyes closed and fingers massaging his temple. Nam-gyu rubs his thumbs in a soothing motion over his hand.
The intercoms crackle again, the same voice speaking over it. Despite the voice definitely not being real, it still managed to sound passive aggressive with its words. “Player 88 eliminated. We apologise for the inconvenience. Our cleanup crew will return momentarily before the doors unlock. We thank you for your patience.” The room then fills with a deafening silence. Something so obvious and unmistakable. Other rooms have probably got to whispering about what sort of scenario may have just played out, Nam-gyu and Thanos do not.
“Mm, what were the worst drugs you bought?”
Nam-gyu thinks for a second, it brings him back to his previous life of being doped up on whatever the sketchy guy at the back of Club Pentagon had to offer. Blowing past days and weeks on a constant high.. for a second he forgets about the game, just to feel sorry for himself for putting him in this situation. An answer soon comes to mind, though.
“Oh.. I don't remember what it was.. some sort of mixture of all kinds of shit, I guess. There was no high or trip, it just made me really tired but I couldn't sleep. My boss found me out of it in the alley by the club. I don't remember much from it.. Still have trouble sleeping though.”
Thanos nods along to his words, even if Nam-gyu is sure he isn't listening, he doesn't actually care. Now that he was saying aloud some of the shit that happened to him it made to want him start a whole new life. Hopefully, when he gets enough money, he’ll be able to do that.
“Club Pentagon put me on some crazy fucking shit, man. I was awake for like 50 hours or something—”
Before he can continue with his story Nam-gyu cuts him off.
“Yeah, and I was supplying you with all that crazy shit..” He gives a half hearted laugh but it's clear he's lost in thought. He loved this man, but was giving him all this shit that he knew would mess with his head. Thanos scoffs back a, “I wasn't just getting stuff from you, y’know..” but Nam-gyu doesn't comment on it. His head is angled down to the floor, but still pointed at Thanos, who in turn adjusts to try and glance at the boys expression, staying silent and waiting for him to elaborate. “Any more questions?” Nam-gyu says with gritted teeth. He brings himself back to reality and snaps his neck back upwards, gazing into Thanos’ eyes, coincidentally just inches from his face.
“Yea— Uhh..” Nam-gyu can't help but notice his distracted look, his eyes hesitating between looking into his own eyes, or his lips. Nam-gyu looks at him, like really looks at him. He scans his face, any unnoticed blemishes, old faded scars he's likely gained after being punched in the face several times in the past. Even with all these imperfections he appears perfect in Nam-gyu’s eyes. Anyone else might call him crazy, and they might be right, currently Nam-gyu didn't care though. He couldn't believe he was feeding into his addiction, harming him. He didn't deserve to be tricked by him for some quick cash. Right now, it was like he was viewing Thanos through a lens. A lens that makes all those shitty animes where the main character sees the love interest and the world fills with the colour pink and hearts and flowers seem like reality. He needs a closer look at his face.
No, an even closer look. Just.. a few more.. centimetres..
He can't stop what was about to happen, he knew damn well what was about to happen, and so did Thanos. Even if either wanted to move away at the last second, which neither of them wanted, they couldn't stop their bodies natural reaction. The natural reaction to want to be close to the other, to embrace the other, to feel the other. Nam-gyu felt an urge to protect him, even though he definitely wouldn't be too good in that regard. He wanted to make up for all the shit he had sold him that had done him any harm in the past.
In that moment they were a positive magnet and a negative magnet, although both of them were feeling pretty positive about what was coming.
Of course, their lips met. There was a slight second of hesitation, a pause to ask the other ‘Do you want this?’ and when neither moved away, they melted into eachother. Nam-gyu made haste moving his hands around Thanos’ neck, his fingers twisting and toying with the stray strands of purple hair. In a much more softer manner, Thanos raised his hands to cup Nam-gyu’s face. Nam-gyu guessed he wasn't very used to kissing guys, his affection being presented likely just as how he would typically kiss girls. Nam-gyu found it kind of alluring, imagine him getting to be the Thanos’ first guy kiss? Kiss. Kiss? Kiss!?!? Holy shit, they were fucking kissing?? He swears just seconds ago he was feeling sorry for him, I guess life or death games do crazy things to people.
For a second Nam-gyu’s body freezes up, Thanos panics, slowly beginning to back up to check if he was alright, but Nam-gyu stops him before he can. His mind was running wild with all kinds of thoughts, (I’m sure you can imagine), leading his actions to be more messy and inadvertently aggressive - not that Thanos was complaining.
They both try to conceal their heavy panting when they part, fearing the other rooms beside would hear them. However, after catching their breath, their eyes meet again for moment and it all starts again. This time Thanos is the more aggressive one, pushing his body towards Nam-gyu so much that he is forced to start leaning further back until Thanos is almost fully laying over him. They part again, but Thanos doesn't lean up, and Nam-gyu keeps his arms locked around the back of his neck, which was the only thing not making him fall an inch or two to the floor.
“Fuck..” Thanos mumbles under his breath.
“Yeah..” Is all Nam-gyu’s brain can muster before he feels the need to go back in for more. Nam-gyu feels like he's been starved of this his whole life. Like when you give a kid a penny or two that they instantly spend, then beg for more. Well, Nam-gyu was begging for more. It now felt like a new necessity to him. To live he needed oxygen, food, water, and to feel Thanos’ lips against his. His taste was more addictive than anything he had ever taken before.
Thanos was still catching his breath, his body seemingly shocked at the commands his brain was giving out. Nam-gyu opts to place some smaller and much softer pecks on his lips before moving down to his neck. In response, Thanos whisper-yells what was meant to be a, “Hey!?” but just comes out as a surprised sound. He makes no effort to push Nam-gyu away. He does grumble out an annoyed, “You don't get to leave a fucking hickey.”
Nam-gyu retreats, a fully serious expression on his face, “Fine. Give me one then.”
Thanos isn't sure how to react. He's gotten accustomed to girls lining up for even the chance he’ll wink at them, but they're typically a lot more shy about it. Nam-gyu knew what he wanted, he wanted Thanos, and he was prepared to tell him everything right there and then.
“If people see you walk out of this room with a hickey, what the fuck do you think they'll be thinking, huh?”
Nam-gyu’s eyes unfocus to think of an answer, but he quickly shrugs, “I don't give a shit,” He carefully takes one arm and slides it down the collar of Thanos’ shirt until he feels the cold metal. He takes out the cross and cautiously opens it, taking one pill from it. He continues, “And neither should you..” He smirks, placing the pill on his tongue and waiting for Thanos, who simply can’t let a pill go to waste, can he? I mean, they have a limited supply and he can't just put it back now that it was starting to dissolve.
Their tongues mesh together, it's awkward at first with the pill added in but as it quickly disintegrates they're put into a flow state, a new kind of high washing over their bodies. The room is getting hot, abnormally hot, but their bodies are stuck to each other, clinging as though one of them might die if they let go, which neither plan too.
Thanos decides he might as well grant the man his wish and slowly moves his target to his neck, despite telling him to do it, it catches Nam-gyu off guard, his entire body tensing and one of his hands slipping upward to grip Thanos’ hair. Thanos can't deny, it motivated him further.
He stops to admire his craftwork, “There. Happy? My signature colour too.” This was a classic line he had picked up whenever he had (typically by accident) given a girl a hickey. He can admit, not the flirtiest thing to say in the moment, but it earns a small chuckle from Nam-gyu, and that's all that matters.
“Thank you for your patience.”
The boys jump, Thanos jolting upright, Nam-gyu’s arms slipping off of him leading him to fall backwards that inch before he too jolts upright, instinctively fixing his hair.
“The guards will now escort you back to your beds door by door.”
They spot some circle guards walking past their door, they jump to their feet to try and get a better look at the survivors. That guy who claims to be a previous winner, that marine kid, the man who had totally beaten the shit out of the two of them not long ago, Min-su with some random guy, MG Coin, that guy and his mum— MG Coin? Fuck.
Thanos throws himself back away from the window, lightly disoriented by however much of the pill he had managed to digest. Nam-gyu turns to comfort him. “Hey, he’s just more money that we’ll get in the end.” He gently lifts one of Thanos’ hand, caressing it in the same way Thanos hand done with Min-su that made Nam-gyu feel so much resentment and envy, not that’d he say so. This reassurance seems to calm Thanos, who moves his hand to interlock with Nam-gyu’s. If this was just a spur of the moment makeout session, why does this feel so romantic?
Nothing about this should be romantic, they narrowly avoided death just 20 or so minutes ago? People around them are getting murdered for some sick cash prize? But they’re getting through it together. The pills might help to dull it but ultimately the others presence is stopping them from going insane.
Nam-gyu can't help but look and grin at their hands holding. He reaches up again, placing more quick kisses to Thanos’ lips, then another small one on the back of his hand.
They’re both so focused on the other they fail to see the guard outside their door until it clicks open. They quickly spin towards the door, the guard clearing their throat. The guard stands awkwardly, holding the door open.
“Please exit the room.” The circle’s masked voice speaks up, trying their best to sound composed.
Nam-gyu pouts slightly at the idea of leaving this room he had gotten so comfortable (and so close to Thanos) in, but, as they leave the room with fingers interlocked, he figures it might be fine, and their beds are way more comfortable than the room anyway.