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Touko couldn’t sleep.
Had she ever been able to in the first place?
The nightmares that seized control of her mind night by night had worsened ever since she was stuck in Hope’s Peak, a literal death trap. Touko already knew there was no salvation from these things, there was never any. Nobody bothered to question the worsening of her eyebags or the way she almost fell asleep during some class trials.
It hadn’t gotten any better once everyone found out about Syo. She had no clue how the rest of the trial had gone, the only way she knew about the culprit was his crushing absence in the cafeteria. The way everyone looked at her was different.
Maybe she had just been some anxiety-ridden weird girl but now she was all of that and mentally sick. The stares seeped into her mind and pried apart at her deepest insecurities piece by piece, ripping her apart like flesh from the bone. Her mind made everything worse than it was; Touko had always known about that fact, but she had never been able to understand why or fix it.
Her savior came in the form of a tall blond boy who wanted nothing to do with her at all. Byakuya Togami, the Ultimate Affluent Progeny. He seemed to hate everyone in Hope’s Peak, including her. Touko seemed to have a burning passion for him and only him.
Touko would follow him around like a puppy whether he knew she was there or not. Did it matter? He was the one thing that made this all worth it. That made her stick around. He couldn’t get rid of her, like a tattoo piercing the skin and still being there after having it removed.
She was a permanent stain- or we don’t sugarcoat it and call her a straight-up stalker. Touko knew what she was, but the thing was, she didn’t care. They all hated her anyway, so what was one more crime on the list?
Besides, it wasn’t like they could stop her.
Even after he tried to frame her after the death of Chihiro Fujisaki, which she didn’t know how to take, she still stuck around. Byakuya was smart, so maybe he was just trying to get her to come clean. In reality, he probably just wanted her dead.
Touko still didn’t care about that though. Late at night, she slept outside his dorm room, despite how dangerous and how much of an easy target she was. She said it was just in case someone tried to break in, that maybe they would kill her first, in time to wake up Byakuya. It wasn’t that Touko wanted to die, but if it saved him, it might as well have saved her.
Now back on topic to the nightmares, shall we? Touko was curled up in a ball outside his room, trying her hardest to sleep as visions and demons taunted her. Her thin white hands covered her eyes as she told herself none of anything was real. The dream came back to her in ashes, barely anything but a fleeting memory; a mortifying memory at that.
The feeling of her notebook: the small leather one she always had on her person or hidden somewhere in her room, being ripped away from her hands. The fuzzy sound of the taunting laughter of children from previous classes, staring in the mirror and realizing how bad the scars and bruises were.
Staring upwards at the teacher with an empty mouth after they asked her if everything was alright at home.
Waking up in an alley with nothing but a pair of safety scissors and the body of a boy who had rejected her two weeks ago, the frantic struggle to bury them somewhere where Syo couldn’t find them.
She was only in the 5th grade. She was too young to be afraid of herself.
Of the things she had done.
Throughout her life, She would refuse to believe Syo was her. That some part of her sprouted this creature- this murderer. She was drowning; soon enough there wouldn’t be any more of Touko, only Syo, everyone seemed to like her better than the real Touko so why should she even bother? She would be nothing more than a shallow pool for everyone to step in and complain about. She wasn't real. She had never been the real human- she was somebody else- she wasn't Touko.
Oh, how the burden of waking up hits.
Touko screamed.
Unconscious of how loud she had been- Touko slammed her hand over her mouth as her eyes darted around quickly, where was she?! What was she doing?! Her back pressed against the red metal door as her senses came back. Right. She was guarding Byakuya’s room. Making sure nobody got inside… sacrificing herself… yeah..right.
Touko shuddered, removing her hand as her heartbeat started to slow down from its rapid pace. She would be fine. Right. The door swung open and with a small yelp, Touko fell backwards.
She stared up at her said White-Knight, glaring down at her with squinted eyes, glasses forgotten somewhere else. Touko had to bat her eyes a few times to figure out why he had suddenly- Oh. Right. She had screeched at the top of her lungs- Byakuya was scarcely dressed and it was taking a lot more effort than it should have for her eyes not to trail all over his body.
“ What is the meaning of this?”
He obviously wasn’t amused with the stunt she had pulled. She stammered for a response but he quickly silenced her with no more than a flick of his hand.
“What did you see.”
Right. She was his guard dog. He didn't care about her personal struggles.
Touko caught her breath, staring up at him with cloudy gray eyes. How could she word this in a way that didn't make her seem... Well, weak? Stupid? Childish? “No-nothing- i-i- jus- I just didn’t-” she took a moment to reform her sentence as he stared at her with clear annoyance and disdain, “nigh-nightmare. That's all.”
Well, Byakuya just seemed even more annoyed with her now, scowling. Seriously!? She had to scream that loud?! He thought she finally died. What a total blowout. Touko was now tripping over herself to apologize, stumbling over her words as she clenched her fists. She looked stupid, pitiful even, Byakuya mused with the thought of just kicking her down.
Touko stared up at him, mouth curved downwards. It was dark. Painfully dark. Touko hated the dark; it brought her back to places she didn't want to go. Closets that weren't big enough to sit comfortably in for too long. Not for several days. Touko had felt like a body in a coffin. She had stopped screaming on day two.
Quickly, Touko spoke up a request, it came out of her mouth fast enough so that it did not get caught on stutters for once in her life.
“Can I stay in your room- just for tonight-?” She prayed to whatever God was listening, please- she couldn’t stay out there anymore- she knew for the first time that her underbelly was completely exposed, she was easy prey. If it weren’t for Syo someone might have already gone for her.
Touko couldn't die yet. Not yet. Not yet.
Byakuya’s lip twitched. Really? Did she actually think that- how stupid could she get? There was an uncomfortable amount of prolonged silence between them, Touko biting at the skin around her nail and Byakuya taking in the sweet sadistic sense of watching her kneel at his feet. He supposed every king needed its jester. Seriously, did she ever think that he would actually-
“Get in.”
Goddamnit.
Touko scrambled into the dimly lit room faster than she had ever run in P.E. thought finally on her feet, Byakuya’s height still caused her to look up at him. Seriously, was that normal for a high school student!? Byakuya resisted the urge to slap himself for this but he locked the door back up and turned to face her.
“You can sleep by the foot of the bed. If we die, it's your fault, pig.”
He was too tired to be upset or even care to look in her direction.
Crawling in the bed he could feel her eyes on him, uncomfortable, but he had let her in and now he would have to deal with it. He usually wasn't quick to fall asleep but at that point, he just completely passed out.
Touko did as he said, and resisted the urge to squeal or giggle. She was really in his room now, oh this was going to be wonderful- she didn’t know why he had let something as pitiful as herself in but she was so very thankful for it.
This might have been the best thing since coming here. The floor was wooden, but she had slept on worse. Touko lay there, postponing trying to go to sleep... What if she had another nightmare? If she screamed again he was sure to kick her out and she couldn’t have that happening-
Slowly, she stood. Touko stared at him sleeping. She stared at him sleeping for an uncomfortably long time before sighing softly. Like a moth to a flame or a mouse to its hiding place- Touko quickly crawled under the bed. There. She would be safe there. Maybe, probably, sort of? It was better than sleeping out in the open, she didn’t want to have to do that again.
Touko rested her head on her arms, shifting around until she found a more comfortable position. As comfortable as she could get, anyway. Slowly, her eyes closed, breathing slowing along with her heartbeat, and finally, she fell into a dreamless sleep.
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Makoto was sitting at the table joined by Kirigiri, Sakura, Yasuhiro, and Aoi; the rest hadn’t bothered to show up yet. He looked around yet there seemed to be no sign of Byakuya or Touko, so slowly he excused himself, (knowing Makoto it wasn't slow at all, that little twink was like a track star) and walked down the dormitory hall.
there was a thump and the sound of two voices right outside Byakuya’s room. The place may have been locked up to death, but they sure as hell weren’t soundproof.
Makoto paused before knocking, the voices were incredibly easy to discern, it was just Fukawa and Toagmi. He managed to make out a little bit of what they were saying.
“L-look-i-i- I didn’t mean-”
“Fukawa, you bit me. Now I know you are less than any feral rat would be, but honestly? There was no need.”
“Im-i- I thought- I thought something was trying to get me-”
“It was my ankle. I know you're stupid but honestly. Maybe you should have just stayed outside.”
“...”
Quickly, trying to break the tension, Naegi rapped on the door, “Uh- guys? It’s been like- thirty minutes and we need to get in the gym or Monokuma’s-” The door was quickly opened right in his face, nearly knocking him backwards as he stumbled away. Touko walked out with quick calculated steps, arms around herself tightly and neatly hunched over.
Byakuya followed not long after, seeming to glare at Fukawa who was still staring at her feet before walking away. Makoto was going to call out after him but decided it wasn’t worth it. The others would probably tell him what was going on anyway
Naegi looked at her for a moment but she quickly just straightened herself and gritted her teeth.
“Wh-what are you looking at?! Ugh-”
She quickly stormed off after him, trying to catch up with Byakuya as he had already made it halfway down the hallway.
Makoto stared at them, half confused and half amused. So, Fukawa was an ankle biter huh? He cracked a small smile at how this place managed to be hell itself and people could still brush it off just to be stupid every once in a while.
He realized that standing there wasn’t going to do him any good and quickly snapped back to reality.
“Wait GUYS-”
And that was how Makoto managed to be the last person in the cafeteria for the first time since he got there.
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They had gone to the gym. Sakura had been called out as a mole. Byakuya had been bitch-slapped, and then everyone had scurried off on their own.
It didn’t matter to Touko. The Sakura thing- not Byakuya being slapped. After a while of following from behind, just silently walking without wondering where he was going or why, she spoke up. Nothing too big or exciting, nothing that she wanted to say, a simple phrase, repeated too many times and taken for granted.
“Thank you.”
Byakuya didn’t stop, he didn’t look back or say anything, he didn’t ridicule her or stare. He just kept walking, and Touko was fine with that. Besides, as long as they both made it out of there alive… She would always be there to say “You're welcome” too. She would follow him to the end of the world for him to push her off of it. She was fine with that.
Just fine.