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It was stuffy in the practice room. Taehyung wasn't making things easier with the way he was leaning against Jungkook, face pressed into Jungkook’s shoulder blades, his breath tickling his skin. Jungkook was holding the camera above them, fingers clasped around it, trying his best not to drop it and push the older boy away in the process. His left hand was shaking, while his right was stuck to his side, no way of moving it due to the way Taehyung was now pinching at his skin, laughing when Jungkook's nose scrunched up in distaste.
They were supposed to be filming for the fans, but all Jungkook wanted to do was to turn Taehyung around and ask him why he felt the need to touch him all the damn time.
It wasn't like Jungkook was the only one that Taehyung treated this way. Taehyung was known to be clingy with the rest of them, but in a good way. Although he did not know the meaning of personal place, they all found it endearing how he would climb into the gaps they had made and close them. His touch was comforting, grounding, and Jungkook usually felt calm when Taehyung's hand ran through his hair. At least, most of the time he did.
Taehyung propped his head onto his shoulder, smiling broadly up at him. Jungkook stared back at him, transfixed. Taehyung's eyes roved to the other side of the room, where Jimin stood in the entrance, side by side with Hoseok. Two seconds later, Jungkook found himself alone, watching Taehyung amble over to them, his smile no longer directed towards him.
Strangely, though, Taehyung did not wrap his gangly arms around them like he usually would. Instead, he stayed a foot apart from them.
Jungkook still felt Taehyung's hand pressed to his skin, even if the feeling was beginning to fade with every second that passed by.
***
At half past two in the morning, Jungkook found Taehyung at the edge of his bed, climbing up slowly until he had dropped down next to him. Jungkook raised an eyebrow at the older boy, questioning him. All Taehyung did in response was put his finger up to his lips, shushing him, mentioning something about not being able to sleep.
Jungkook did not want to ask questions, not if it meant losing this feeling that was stirring up a storm inside of him. So, he nodded, closing his eyes once again. He was glad to be able to have Taehyung beside him like this. The older boy had been busy recently, and it felt like it had been too long since they had last properly been in each other's presence.
Jungkook couldn't deny the fact that he missed Taehyung; he missed how easy it was to talk to him, face to face, rather than calling him on the phone and asking him when he would come home. The others teased him about it relentlessly, but without Taehyung around, things were not the same. He had walked around the streets of Hongdae very recently, mind mulling over this fact until he had bumped into some fans. They had proved a great distraction for him, but once he had returned home, it wasn't enough to completely set his thoughts at bay.
He figured more than anything, he missed Taehyung's touch the most.
Jungkook startled when Taehyung's arms wrapped around him, bringing him closer to his chest. Jungkook breathed in deeply, focusing on anything else that might bring back his sanity.
“Why don't you climb into Jimin's bed?” He whispered. “Why go to such efforts of coming all the way over here when Jimin is only a bed away from you?”
At this, Taehyung snorted, drawing lines into Jungkook's bare skin with his hands. “I don't want to,” was all he said, repeating the words again and again before the two of them had fallen into the blackness of sleep.
***
Taehyung dragged Jungkook over to the seats, intertwining his fingers with Jungkook's own, squeezing gently. Jungkook was not able to get a word in edgeways, he wouldn't have minded sitting next to any of the other members, but Taehyung didn't give him much of a choice in the matter.
Jungkook was tired from the night before, he had not managed to get much sleep due to the way Taehyung had decided to thread his legs around him. He hadn't been able to focus, but instead he had wondered why the older boy kept on tormenting him so relentlessly. It couldn't have been anything special.
Jungkook told himself time and time again that it was nothing to worry about, this was normal for Taehyung, it was expected. What wasn't normal, however, was Jungkook and the feeling that was beginning to grow every time Taehyung decided to crawl back into his bed.
He didn't want to think about such things, all he wanted was to celebrate their two million subscribers on the v-app, something that they were supposed to be celebrating right this second, but once again Jungkook was distracted. The rest of the boys talked about something or other, but Taehyung was constantly leaning into him.
At some point during the broadcast, Taehyung decided to thread his hand through Jungkook's hair, playing with it as he fluffed it up. Half of Jungkook wanted to swat Taehyung away, while the other half wanted to smile until his cheeks hurt. It was safe to say, that the second won over the first. When Taehyung tried to feed him some of the cake, Jungkook stilled for a short second. Soon enough, he had accepted the offer, letting Taehyung feed him.
The rest of the broadcast passed by as expected. The question of Hoseok's abs was brought up, as the older boy cheekily danced for the camera. Jungkook wanted to laugh, yet for most of the broadcast he had remained silent, unable to say anything. Every time Taehyung pulled away, his arm dropping to his side and away from him, Jungkook felt something akin to loss. He wanted to pull Taehyung's arm back around him, pull him closer, as much as he could.
Instead, he chewed down on the piece of cake, rejoicing once Taehyung had slung an arm over him once again.
***
“Jimin-hyung?” Jungkook started, carefully. “Can I ask you something?”
Jimin tossed his head back to glance up at Jungkook. He was laid across the settee, phone lying precariously on his stomach as he swiveled around to face him. He framed his face with his palms, eyebrow raised.
“Suspicious,” he mused. “What do you want from me?”
Jungkook frowned in response. “Do I need to want something from you? I just need your advice, is all.”
Jimin hummed, interested. Once he realised that Jungkook's request was genuine, he smiled happily back at him, sitting up properly and patting the space next to him. Jungkook didn't make a move, much to Jimin's disappointment. Jungkook, truthfully, was too nervous to take one step forward.
“You know...Taehyung, right?”
“Well, yeah. Tall-ish, wide smile, crazy as heck -” Jimin stated back, until Jungkook interrupted him.
“That's not what I meant. Just listen, I -” he fumbled for the right words to say. “Do you think it's weird that he's so touchy all the time?”
Jungkook was glad that the others were either out or busy. He hadn't been sure who to talk to about any of this. Usually when he had a problem, or any issue at all, he would talk to Taehyung about it. He's never had a problem that involved Taehyung before. Either way, Jimin listened to him attentively, cocking his head.
“Well, no, not really. Do you?” Jimin questioned.
Such a statement jarred Jungkook for a second; he took a step back, thinking. Yes, Taehyung was closer to people than Jungkook could ever be. He was able to open up to anyone, people were comfortable in his presence after a few minutes of meeting him. He had never found this sort of behaviour to be weird.
Yet, there was something that he didn't quite like.
“No,” he said. “No, I don't find it weird. He seems to do it with everyone though, how can he be so comfortable around everyone like that?”
Jimin stared back at him, eyebrows cinched in thought. He shuffled closer towards Jungkook, appearing to decipher something with the way his mouth opened and closed, a realisation settling in.
“Taehyung has always been close to everyone yes, but you should realise that he has always treated you differently.”
“What?” Jungkook echoed. “What do you mean by that?”
At that, Jimin shrugged, wry smile spreading across his lips. He jumped to his feet, hands delving in his sweatpants’ pockets, as he made his way back to the room he shared with Hoseok and Taehyung. Jungkook followed him, reaching out to pull him back. He even resorted to calling Jimin ‘hyung’ a few times, hoping that this would be enough to get some sort of answer from him that made sense and didn't make him even more confused. As Jimin placed his hand on the door handle, he grinned at Jungkook with an extremely suspicious tell-tale smile. Jungkook knew before Jimin said anything that he wasn't going to get any concrete answers from him.
“Well, you'll have to find out for yourself, won't you?” Jimin teased, patting Jungkook once on the shoulder, much to his irritation, and disappearing into his room.
For a couple of seconds, Jungkook remained standing in the same spot, eyes glued to the place where Jimin had been.
It was cruel, really, because how could he possibly figure this all out for himself?
It was back to the drawing board, Jungkook supposed.
***
A couple of weeks down the line and Jungkook still had not come up with any kind of answer to his Taehyung problem. Jimin's words remained lost on him. It irritated him to no end how unhelpful the older boy had been in his time of need, although he really shouldn't have expected anything less from him. Jimin had snickered at him every time he asked about the Taehyung issue, so he had resorted in talking to his other hyungs’ about it. Most of them had said the same thing, with varying degrees of sly grins. It soon became an inside joke within the group (aside from him and Taehyung). They constantly poked fun at Jungkook, although it was meaningless and they were only teasing him, Jungkook could not help but grow irritated the more they brought up the topic. Soon enough, Jungkook began to wish that he hadn't said anything at all, that he had kept all of his worries shut tight in a box inside of him, rather than bursting it open for everyone to see.
He was glad, though, that Taehyung remained oblivious to all that was happening around him.
Taehyung was of course busy, as per usual. He was constantly filming for something or other. It was weird, because Jungkook was feeling much closer to the boy on the screen sticking cake in Kim Minjae’s mouth rather than the boy he knew so well.
The filming for Celebrity Bromance had happened a while ago, but Taehyung was now busy with the filming for his drama and was constantly out somewhere. The group themselves were on a vacation, yet Jungkook did not feel rested whatsoever. Most of the time, he sat in the lounge for hours on end until day faded into night. He would fall asleep on the couch, with the sound of the others’ quiet snoring in the background. At some point in the night, he had woken up, his head tossed back across the edge of the couch, his back aching from the strain of sitting in such an awkward position. Taehyung was standing at the edge of his door, clad in boxers and a tank top, as he ruffled his hair, yawning loudly. He stilled once he caught Jungkook's gaze, but a smile soon graced his lips.
“What are you doing out here, Jungkookie?” Taehyung asked, ambling over towards him.
Jungkook blinked once or twice, trying to ascertain that Taehyung was in front of him, and that he wasn't dreaming instead. He was half asleep, his eyes drooping with every second that passed by. Taehyung crouched down, resting his chin on the couch as he took in Jungkook's expression.
“I think you should really go back to your bed,” Taehyung said, laughing when Jungkook's head dropped forwards.
Jungkook forced his eyes open, willing himself to stay awake. “I don't want to, not now. I want to stay with you.”
Taehyung's smile had frozen at this, it dropped soon enough, his bottom lip quivering, before he had finally schooled his expression. “Look at you, being cute. It's almost like you've been missing me.”
“I have, though. Been missing you,” Jungkook murmured back, his face pressed into the material of the couch. He was almost falling asleep again when he felt movement from beside him, as Taehyung grabbed his shoulders, sitting him back to rest on his lap.
Jungkook wanted to say something, he wanted to say so much more, but Taehyung's soothing hand, massaging delicately at his scalp, it was enough to send him straight back to sleep. So, he chose to forget any of the concerns that had been plaguing his mind. He twisted around, draping an arm over Taehyung's lap.
“The truth is, Jungkook,” Taehyung whispered a moment later, “I've been missing you, too.”
***
Over the next couple of days, Jungkook found himself not minding the way that Taehyung would suddenly grab hold of him. He would hug him, arms wrapped over Jungkook's shoulder, face pressed to the back of Jungkook's neck. It didn't matter whether they were outside, with a throng of fans on either side of them, Taehyung would only hold on tighter.
In v-app broadcasts, Taehyung fought the others in order to be next to Jungkook. He bickered incessantly with Jimin, until the two staged fought with each other, laughing when Jimin tumbled over in an embarrassed heap. He did not, however, apologise to Jimin, and hug him or touch him in any way to make amends.
At first, Jungkook watched over the scene with irritation but now, it had only made his view of things a lot wider. Jimin had said after all that Taehyung was different when it came to him, but Jungkook had not known what he meant by that, he still doesn't know.
After Taehyung rose victorious over Jimin, he pranced over to Jungkook with an elated skip in his step. Once everyone was settled and ready to film, Jungkook had found himself counting how many times Taehyung touched him, whether it was a brush on the hand or a kiss to his cheek. As Taehyung placed a kiss to the back of his ear, cheekily grinning as if he had won some grand prize, Jungkook had realised that he could no longer remember how far he had been counting. As the others joked and laughed, Taehyung sometimes butting in, Jungkook began to realise that Taehyung was treating him differently. Although he would casually sling an arm around Hoseok's shoulders, he wouldn't pull him as close as possible. He wouldn't find an excuse to settle his hand on Hoseok's thigh for a good five minutes. These things were all reserved for Jungkook.
After this sudden conclusion came the question of why him? What about Jungkook made him so special to warrant such undivided attention? He wanted to ask, but he also wanted to test his own theory.
Jungkook assumed that playing this way was only fair.
As the broadcast came to a close, Jungkook nudged closer, his hand dropping to squeeze at Taehyung's knee. The older boy tensed up immediately, and Jungkook could see him narrowing his eyes, questioning such sudden behaviour. Jungkook said nothing, and as soon as the broadcast had ended, he pressed a light kiss to Taehyung's bare shoulder, causing the boy to shiver in response.
“What are you two doing?” Yoongi asked after the camera had switched off. It seemed, once looking around the room at his members and at the writers and the PD, that everyone had the same question to ask.
Taehyung pushed Jungkook away at this, clambering to his feet and shrugging. “N-nothing,” Taehyung replied, a slight hitch in his voice. “Jungkook was just being weird today.”
“Both of you, you're really cute,” Jimin snickered, elbowing Jungkook in his side. He leaned in closer, whispering something for only Jungkook to hear. “I guess you understand what I was saying now, don't you?”
He did, but that doesn't mean that he understood what was making Taehyung blush, his hands clenching into fists. He was laughing at something or other, but it didn't quite reach his eyes.
***
Taehyung had holed himself immediately back in his room once they had returned to the dorm, confessing to be tired, wishing to read some manga by himself.
Jungkook couldn't help but be suspicious at such behaviour.
Once the rest of the boys had clambered into their own beds, the dorm falling into a silent hush, Jungkook found himself tiptoeing across the hall to Hoseok, Jimin and Taehyung's room. He edged the door open, peering inside. Taehyung wasn't up, he was facing the wall, blankets cocooning himself in a way that made Jungkook snort. Jungkook closed the door behind him gently, making his way across the room as quiet as he could, hoping not to wake the others up. He crawled into Taehyung's bed, prying the covers from him.
Taehyung remained facing the wall, but Jungkook could tell that he was awake.
“Tae,” he whispered, beginning to prod Taehyung in his side once the boy refused to respond, as he repeated the name a few times over.
Taehyung turned around rather quickly, his face close to Jungkook's own. Any words that the older boy might have said died on his tongue. He pulled a face, sighing as he drooped his head against Jungkook's arm.
“Why do you have to be like this. Stop being so confusing, Jungkook,” Taehyung murmured.
Jungkook snorted at this, tossing the covers over their heads. Taehyung remained in the same spot, hiding his face into Jungkook's arm, until Jungkook pried him away so that Taehyung could properly face him.
“I'm not the one who is being confusing here,” Jungkook said.
Taehyung frowned. “What exactly did I do, then? You're the one who was being so...different in the broadcast today.”
“You're the one who always seems to want to touch me.”
Taehyung grew bright red at that. “It's not like that. I'll stop if you want me to. If I'm being too clingy, just tell me.”
Jungkook tried his best to imagine a day in which Taehyung never once held him or touched him in any way. Taehyung would wrap his arms around the other members’ shoulders, he would jump onto Jimin's back, but he would leave Jungkook alone with nothing but a small smile.
He wasn't sure when it happened, but Jungkook could no longer imagine a day exempt of Taehyung's touch.
“That's not what I meant. I don't want you to stop. I just wanted to know - why me? Jimin said that you treated me differently. Why?” Jungkook asked as quietly as he could. He glanced up at Taehyung, taking in the boy’s wide eyes and open mouth. He leaned closer, hand grazing the material of Taehyung's top.
“I - I don't know,” Taehyung breathed out, “I just...I just want to hold you.”
Jungkook tilted his head, grasping tight onto Taehyung's hands. “Why?”
“Because,” Taehyung stuttered, as Jungkook slotted his leg through the space between Taehyung's. “Because I want to.”
Jungkook pressed the two of them close, chest to chest, his forehead resting against Taehyung's own. “Why?” he phrased once again, but this time with more conviction. He heard Taehyung let out a sharp breath, his body stiffening. He watched Taehyung's eyes rove down towards his lips; his answer to his previous question was already there in plain sight.
“I don't want to be this close with the others,” Taehyung muttered. “I've always wondered what it would feel like if I kissed you.”
Jungkook licked his lips, edging closer, mouth ghosting Taehyung's own. “Then why don't you do it, hyung?”
At that, Taehyung surged forwards, arms wrapping around Jungkook's neck, dragging him closer to him. His lips pressed down onto Jungkook's own, and at first Jungkook was taken aback, unable to process that Taehyung had accepted his offer, and was now kissing him so insistently, so much so that Jungkook was struggling to breathe.
Jungkook calmed down soon enough, hands scrunching up the material of Taehyung's top, so that it rose up, his hands resting on the smooth, warm skin. Taehyung pressed deeper as Jungkook followed suit, tilting his head in order to get better access, gasping once Taehyung bit down lightly at his bottom lip, continuing to lick inside his mouth. Jungkook felt something pooling at the bottom of his stomach, growing harder the more Taehyung kissed him.
Once Taehyung pulled away, pressing light kisses up Jungkook's neck, nipping down at his collarbone, the situation only seemed to worsen. Jungkook vaguely heard someone groan from the opposite side of the room in annoyance, followed by two sets of feet and a door opening and closing with a slam, although not before a pillow was thrown at their heads. As Taehyung finally leaned away, he tossed back the covers, peering across the room, one hand still draped over Jungkook’s shoulder.
“Jimin and Hobi-hyung are gone,” Taehyung observed. “Crap, they must have heard us.”
“Does it matter?” Jungkook asked. “I feel like both of them knew what was going to happen anyway, especially Jimin.”
Taehyung hummed at this. “So, Jungkookie, have you been asking the others for advice about me? Have you been suffering alone with all of this pent-up emotion, confused and missing me so much, you just couldn't -”
Jungkook quickly pecked Taehyung on the lips, silencing him. Leaning back, he took in Taehyung's startled expression, which soon morphed into a smile.
“Maybe I was missing you, but don't say you weren't missing me too,” Jungkook argued back, wry grin tilting up his lips.
Taehyung raised an eyebrow at that, words stuck on the tip of his tongue which he chose to ignore. He grabbed Jungkook by the back of his neck instead, commencing from where they had previously left off.
Jungkook wasn't sure what this meant for the two of them, he couldn't possibly foresee what the future would hold, or how much Taehyung really meant to him. Like always, he would learn in his own way.
Right now, he was content with holding Taehyung, for as long as he could.