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Language:
English
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Anonymous
Stats:
Published:
2025-01-18
Completed:
2025-10-08
Words:
362
Chapters:
2/2
Comments:
20
Kudos:
569
Bookmarks:
53
Hits:
2,941

All Hail Empress Cucumber

Anonymous

Summary:

Airplane: wifey says no kinky times until i write a ‘good’ chapter so update’s going to take longer but, might(?) be of higher quality

Yingying4life: ???? wifey?? Great God, just say u got writers’ block

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

Airplane: wifey says no kinky times until i write a ‘good’ chapter so update’s going to take longer but, might(?) be of higher quality

   Yingying4life: ???? wifey?? Great God, just say u got writers’ block

       Lingerbestwife92: Seconded

   PeerlessCucumber: *might*? 😡🔪🔪🔪✈️

       Airplane: Will! Will be of higher quality! 😅

         haremmaster52: i don’t know what rotten woman hacked their accounts, but this is the funniest shit she could’ve possibly done with them

             Airplane: 1) malign my sister-in-laws at ur own risk bro
                            2) I had to physically sit on Cucumber-bro to stop him from ripping you like seven new assholes: ur welcome
                            3) Reminder that Cucumber-bro’s a spoiled af fuerdai. his family’s lawyers can and will eat any shitheads for breakfast.
                            Don’t say laozi didn’t warn you

                 [Deleted Comment]

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                      PeerlessCucumber: [LBH_Emperor_Smile.PNG] fuck around and find out, motherfuckers

                           Reader6969: * raises hand * Mr. PeerlessCucumber, Sir, LBH is keeping the harem, right?

                               PeerlessCucumber: ?? LBH is a harem protagonist, of course he has a harem.

                                     Yanyansteponme13: * kowtows * thanking Empress Cucumber

                                     LordLuo999: thanking Empress Cucumber

                                        PeerlessCucumber: Empress your mother!!

Chapter 2

Summary:

a text exchange

Chapter Text

[👑🥒]

👑🥒: [Evidence_Screenshot.PNG] What! the! fuck! is! this! 

✈️: …a pidw fanfic?

👑🥒: No shit! You think I don't know Eating Ice Cold Noodles is your alt account?!

✈️: it's to drum up engagement! 

👑🥒: By isekai'ing me into your novel to marry your protagonist?! Bullshit! LBH's not gay! And neither is your audience!

✈️: gotta be honest dude. only reason Bing-ge discriminates is bc SQQ traumatized him too hard. he'd dry hump a bench if he thought it'd show him affection.

👑🥒: He would not!!!! Don't slander Binghe like that!!!

✈️: how can i slander a character i created???

👑🥒: Even if Binghe did like guys, he'd never go after someone some average rando from another universe!! He'd probably woo Mobei-jun first, even if his only redeeming qualities are his face and shuttle services.

✈️: is typing….

✈️:

✈️: is typing….

✈️:

✈️: Bro

✈️: there is so much to unpack there

👑🥒: DELETE YOUR SINS AND REPENT, YOU SHITTY HACK!!!!!!

✈️: well that's ten extra pages of lore i specifically wrote for this down the drain

👑🥒:…give me the lore and lock the fic and we'll call it even.