Chapter Text
The tears fall from my eyes onto the crumpled paper. I suck in air and hold it trying to stop myself from crying anymore.
I look up towards the stars and see nothing, the New York smog covers the stars. I've always wanted to see the stars.
I walk towards the edge and throw May’s note off the ledge. I watch it as it falls into the darkness of the night.
I feel a faint whisper and a soft kiss to my forehead as I look over the edge and jump. Death calls me and I will answer.
I feel the cool air break as I fall, my back grows colder with each second and my thoughts for once are silent. I try to open my eyes and look up towards the night sky. I imagine the stars twinkling in the night sky, I imagine the faint shimmer and the soft glow around them.
For once I can see clearly.
I listen to the wind whistle, the soft honks from cars, and the screaming of pedestrians, and the whirring of the ironman suit coming straight for me, but i don't pay it any attention as I continue to fall.
In one last attempt to not be a burden to let Dad know it's not his fault I pull a letter out my pocket and let go.
My bones crack with the impact of Tony catching me mid air after falling for what felt like forever. I say nothing as he takes me back to the tower.
He brings me to the med bay, into a different room than the last time I was in here. He sets me down on the bed gently and sits beside me, I hand him my note. And watch him read the suicide letter addressed to him.
It feels strange, watching his face shift and turn, knowing every single word I wrote was a delicate goodbye. I wish I could look away from him but I can't. I never thought that when he would read this note I would be there to watch.
“Tony… I'm Sor-”
“Peter, I wish you talked to me instead of being so rash. I love you kid” if it weren't for my super hearing i wouldn't be able to hear the quiver in his voice.
I feel ashamed, seeing how much I hurt him just for trying to leave him forever, but I feel pain. I almost left him, a man who's about to start crying over the mere fact that he almost lost me.
I feel my body begin to shake and tense up as sobs begin to fill the room, I didn't even know I was this sad. I didn't know how badly I needed this.
Tony holds me and I feel myself tense up in his arms because I feel guilty. This is all my fau-
“It's not your fault peter.. I should've paid more attention to you kid. I'm so sorry.” he takes a deep quivering breath, “I'm so sorry..” I whimper and my body relaxes and I go limp in his arms, my tears soaking his shirt like an immature child would his fathers shirt.
Is that all I am? A little kid. Fuck I'm barely 16 and i tried to fucking kill myself, holy shit, holy shit, i almost fucking died. I almost died.
“I almost died,” I whisper . If it weren’t for the fact that my face is shoved in between his neck and shoulder he probably wouldn't have heard me.
“I'm know Petey I know” he whispers and kisses the back of my head on top of my hair, and for the first time in what felt like my entire life I let someone hold me and tell me everything is going to be alright, and I listen.
I sneak past Tony's open bedroom door once I hear him snoring, I make my way to the front door making sure K.A.R.E.N my A.I turns the alarm off. I exit the cabin slowly, careful to not wake Tony up, and climb a nearby tree. Once I make it to the top I stare at the stars. Ever since Tony and I moved to the forest in the cabin he bought my dream to see the stars become a reality. I take a cool deep breath of the forest air, tastes like pines, but that could also be because of the pines I ate on the way up. I watch them twinkle and dance in the sky.
“PETER ?!!” I hear Tony screech from the ground. “GET DOWN FROM THERE!!!” i sigh and climb my way down the tree, admiring the lack of New York fog down in well i don't actually know where we moved, all i know is
“FUCK” is shout as i fall the rest of the way out of the tree landing in font of a startled tony. “Shit, fuck that hurt” i groan as i begin to get up.
“I thought you were Spider-Man? Aren't you supposed to be a sticky kid?” I ignore his comment and we begin to walk towards the warm toned cabin. I look at the lake as we walk by, the stars shimmering in the lake like gold in the night sky.