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It was late morning, and Ranpo was exhausted. He practically sprawled on the table, surrounded by scattered papers, cradling his head. He could barely keep his eyes open, dark circles forming underneath, and he wished the whole world would just be quiet. After yesterday’s – or rather technically today’s – all-night pursuit of an exceptionally slippery criminal, he felt like a deflated balloon.
Pale morning light filtered through the windows, illuminating the cozy interior of the detective agency. However, the only thing that interested Ranpo was the pink lollipop on the floor, right in front of his desk.
He gazed at the candy, so close, yet so far away.
“Hey, Dazai,” he muttered to himself, “pass me that lollipop.”
It didn't seem like Dazai heard him, or if he did, he chose not to acknowledge him. Lounging on the couch, he cheerfully hummed a tune from his headphones just loud enough to visibly provoke Kunikida.
Ranpo’s lazy eyes left Dazai and scanned the room. Everyone was completely absorbed in their work. Kenji was watering a newly acquired potted plant. Kunikida was busy getting up from his desk and slapping Dazai on the head with a folder full of documents.
Atsushi hurried past Ranpo's desk, clutching a stack of way too many cardboard boxes in his arms.
“Hey, Atsushi.” Ranpo treid to wave at him. Given his tangled position, it looked more like a zombie's death spasm. “Hand me that lollipop on the floor?”
He made a feeble wrist gesture, but he didn't quite manage to point at it.
Atsushi smiled awkwardly. “Sorry, after I put this away, alright?”
Ranpo’s hand slumped down, and he buried his head deeper into the papers. “By that time, I'll already be dead.”
Ignoring Atsushi now, Ranpo's attention was caught as the door opened, and Fukuzawa walked in. Despite yesterday’s mission, he exuded an air of dignity, with neatly combed hair and wrinkle-free attire.
Heureka, Ranpo thought.
He knew he had to get Fukuzawa’s attention before he engaged in a conversation with Kunikida about something excruciatingly boring. He raised his head from the table, propping himself up with his elbow and extended his other arm forward like a cat. He cleared his throat.
“Hey, Dad,” he waved at Fukuzawa, “hand me that lollipop on the floor, will ya?”
The entire room froze.
Kenji held the watering can with stiff hands, and water began to spill onto the floor. Atsushi halted with his foot on the doorknob (his hands were full, so he had to manage). Kunikida’s pen stopped moving on the paper, and a dark blot began to form where the ink soaked in. Dazai nodded along to the beat of his song, blissfully unaware of the world.
Fukuzawa looked taken aback.
Ranpo blinked in honest confusion. “Why are you all staring at me?”
They exchanged awkward glances.
“What?”
Finally, Kunikida cleared his throat and adjusted his glasses. “You called the President ‘Dad.’”
“Eh?” Ranpo squinted his eyes, trying to figure out if Kunikida was joking. “No I didn’t.”
“You really said it,” Atsushi added.
“That’s right,” confirmed Kenji, as water seeped into his shoes.
Ranpo’s heart started to race a little faster than usual. He replayed in his mind what he had just said, and – there was a possibility – he felt like he, maybe, heard himself say –
“Why would I call him ‘Dad’? More like grandpa, if anything.”
Fukuzawa raised an eyebrow, and Kenji bit his lip to hold back a laugh. Kunikida pretended to focus on the documents on his desk.
"Come on, even Dazai didn't hear anything," Ranpo defended himself, pointing to the lounging Dazai on the couch.
Dazai took off one earphone, said, "Oh I did," and put the earphone back on.
Ranpo buried his hands in his tousled hair and groaned in embarrassment. “You’re all delusional.” His cheeks were hot.
Fukuzawa scratched himself on the neck, trying to appear composed. “It's alright.”
“Yeah. I didn't even say anything,” he mumbled cheerfully into his hands.
Fukuzawa let out a gentle sigh.
He leaned down to pick up the lollipop and walked over to Ranpo's desk. His hand hesitated near Ranpo's head before eventually patting him on the hair. Ranpo's eyes widened in surprise at the touch and looked up at Fukuzawa, who looked just as awkward as Ranpo felt.
“Go and rest,” Fukuzawa said soothingly. “You did a good job yesterday. I'm proud of you.”
Ranpo could only stare in disbelief. A rush of warmth, stronger than a sugar high, flooded his chest.
Fukuzawa placed the lollipop on the desk. He ruffled Ranpo's hair one last time, turned around, and with a dignified cough, he went over to Kunikida, who quickly shifted his gaze to the documents he was holding.
Atsushi finally managed to press his foot down on the handle he had been standing on all this time. With a yelp, he fell to the floor, and the boxes scattered around him.
Ranpo's heart still raced a little faster than usual, but the redness in his cheeks was fading. He replayed what had just happened in his mind while vaguely aware that Kenji had rushed to help Atsushi, and Dazai was smirking at the scene.
At first, he was scared, but now...
He looked at Fukuzawa and Kunikida talking, and reached for the lollipop on his desk. He unwrapped the glossy, crackling wrapper, tossed it somewhere amidst the papers, and as he popped the sweet strawberry candy into his mouth, he realized he was smiling.
...maybe that slip of the tongue had turned out for the best. At least in the sense that someone finally handed him that lollipop.