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Cat Nip

Summary:

Bruce and Selina go on a dinner date and everything is going great; that is until someone decides that scaring them is a fun idea.

Notes:

Dick-15 Jason- 12

I LIVE! It's been three years and I want to actually update things for a change. Been sitting on my computer and FF for a long time. If you're new here, please start at the beginning of the series. I have a total of three updates before the next arc (which is likely the reason I stopped because I wanted to rewrite it) so let's just get this one in because I wanna. Enjoy!

(See the end of the work for more notes.)

Work Text:

Selina twirled her noodles around her fork, giggling at the story Bruce had told her. “Really, what were you thinking?”

“I was thinking if a crippled monk could make the journey, I could too.” Bruce raised the glass to his lips coyly.

“Why were you even in Tibet?” She couldn’t understand it. Why did his man, the famous and handsome Bruce Wayne, travel the world to the most obscure places? The range of the people he knew just astounded her.

The billionaire shrugged. “Why not? I didn’t have much of a reason to stay in Gotham back then. Traveling the world, gaining some perspective, it really helped me out back then. Learning meditation techniques also helped… ah… control my anger issues.”

“You,” she looked up and down him for a moment. “Anger issues. Really.” The guy was so laid back most days she just couldn’t see it. But he nodded and shrugged, settling his glass down.

“I really do have a bad temper,” he admitted. “Explosive at times. Back when I was a kid, I got into fights all the time. I think by traveling the world I’ve managed to save a few people from myself.”

“Pft. I hardly think you’re dangerous.” The idea was laughable. She’d seen this man flirt, been flirted with, and seen him play with his kids. Sure he was a large, muscular man, but he was a soft-hearted teddy bear compared to the rest of the wife-beaters she’d seen. “Intimidating from time to time, but dangerous? No.”

Selina watched as pure mirth radiated from his smothered laugh. He was kind enough not to laugh in someone’s face, but couldn’t contain it all sometimes. Bruce set his glass down at last, still very amused. “If you insist.”

“Oh come on,” she persisted, “what’s the worst you’ve done? Given Jason a spanking?”

“No no… Alfred does spankings, and washing out mouths.” The man picked at what was left of his meal, trying to recall an incident to share. “He’s very traditional. No, I think I’ve broken a few noses, arms, and I think one guy’s collar bone back in school. Yet another reason I preferred private tutors for a long time.”

“’Cause the other kids would tease you?” Breaking bones… Okay it was clear he hadn’t hurt his kids so maybe his time with those monks really did pay off. A man that’d change, make himself change. Very promising.

“Sometimes. Other times it was because they were rubbing certain things in.” He tried to keep up a confident air, like it didn’t matter, but the woman could see the truth. He wasn’t proud of it. Sure they were all kids at the time and young boys said hurtful things just to say them, but Bruce wasn’t the kind to be proud of losing his temper like that. “I think the school was glad to be rid of me and all my personal drama.

“What about you?” He propped his chin on his hands and gave her a diverting smile. He wanted to change the subject. “I’ve told you about my temper, monks and Tibet, my time in Europe with race car drivers and the Lou, and of my first, disastrous, campout. Any wild stories of your youth?”

“Well…” Selina looked away slightly. She didn’t really like talking about her past. Rough beginnings, in and out of the system, begging on the streets until she learned how to steal, taking down an abusive pimp before starting her run as Catwoman, most were events she avoid thinking about. Live in the moment, that was her motto. But this moment required a story from her past. And it had to be true. Bruce knew who she really was and had a good idea what her life was before he entered it. Actually getting to know each other like this was purely for pleasure, and she was enjoying herself a lot more than she first thought.

The guy was no Batman, but sometimes when he looked at her like this, she could almost pretend he was.

Finally she remembered something she could share. “Oh. There was this one time Holly and I were caught in the rain on our way to finding a new place. We ran across this old church and decided to take cover there. The place was recently cleaned up for some reason or another, and someone had left a bowl of fruit at the front of the room. We were starving and decided to try some.”

“Don’t tell me,” Bruce edged on, “they were wax.”

“They were wax!” She grinned impishly. “Holly took two bites of that apple before realizing it. Her coughing alerted the priest on duty there, who came running in to corner us. Would have been half way out the door if Holly didn’t get so sick from it, but we ended up getting a free meal and night’s rest out of it, so it wasn’t that bad.”

“Alls well that ends well.” His smile was contagious, but a twitch of his eye alerted the cat-burglar that something was going on just behind her. “You can never predict what a priest will do to trespassers.”

“Too true.” Selina picked up her glass to take a drink, her meal nearly done as well. “There was this one time when—“

“BOO!!”

“AAHH!!” Instantly the woman jerked her hand back, splashing whoever tried to scare her. Normally she’d silently drive a hand into their neck for trying to get the better of her, but she had a fairly good idea who was behind her. Bruce would have leapt from his seat to help her if it were anyone potentially dangerous.

“Hey!” Some impish giggling followed the outcry, but not from the same mouth. She gave a heavy sigh before turning around in her chair to see who exactly was trying to scare her. Drenched in her drink was one Dick Grayson and one splattered Jason Todd. Timothy Drake and Cassandra Cain were giggling as they came closer with Alfred carrying Damian in the rear. Dick glared daggers at her while Jason was just annoyed.

“What was that for?!”

“Why did you try to scare me?” came Selina’s smart reply.

“’Cause it’s fun and Dick’s jealous,” was Jason’s reasoning, grinning slyly at his brother. His other siblings giggled impishly.

Dick just turned his glare on him. “I am not jealous.”

“Dick, seriously…” Bruce just put one hand on his face, shaking his head. He warned Selina beforehand of their tactics to scare his dates away. Dick was usually the ring leader in these attempts while the others were there for the ride. Usually they succeeded, but those who were really interested in Bruce, like Vicki Vale or Talia Head, stuck around until the man screwed up or something in their personal lives made things change. As the two of them weren’t officially dating (they agreed to keep their relationship as casual as possible, open to anything), Selina wasn’t really a target for the whole mob to attack. He hoped it’d save her from their antics and keep her from running off scared at the possibility of becoming their mother one day.

Thus far he only partly succeeded. Dick was typically alone in his efforts and Damian seemed to be the only one to accept her being with their father, thus far. She played with the toddler on occasion, always calling her the ‘Pwetty Kitty’. The other three were on the fence when it came to her. They just liked pulling pranks.

“Well I’m not,” the teenager stated indignantly. “Anyway, we’re done. Can we go home now?”

“Take it no one wants dessert,” the man commented, perking the younger kids’ interest greatly.

“Who said that?!” Jason objected immediately.

Tim raised his hand excitedly. “I want chocolate mousse!”

“Death by chocolate cake, and ice cream,” Cassandra piped in, grabbing a chair to join the couple.

“Ooo… I like the way this girl thinks.” Selina gave her a wicked grin as the others started joining them around the table. The hostess who was supposed to be serving just the two was giving them bewildered and frustrated looks, letting Alfred give her a brief apology before passing Damian to his father. “Make that two death by chocolates.”

“Three, with extra ice cream.” Jason’s impish grin bounced off of Dick, scowling bitterly and still standing where he was splashed. He just wanted to go home. “What, nothing for the circus kid?”

“Rather raid the cookie jar.”

“Fine by me. Peg?” Bruce called over their waitress, despite the ‘what the hey?’ look on Dick’s face. He earned it for being so negative about Selina. “Three Death by Chocolate cakes, two with ice cream, one chocolate mousse, some of those brownie bites, Devil’s Food, and a cup of Earl Grey with raspberry scones.”

“Some blueberry ones too,” the teenager piped in before she could leave. He grabbed another chair from a neighboring table and placed it on the side of Bruce Damian was on, still smoldering at the lady. His glare didn’t faze her though, it only made the game more interesting. Very interesting indeed.

Notes:

Truly didn't know how to end this one so it's just done. Dick and Selina have a rocky start and it takes a long time for him to trust her, but they'll make it eventually. She'll never be a mom to him and she will never force the relationship, but she's got a lot more approval from the kids than Talia did.
As for where I've been... Simplified it's just life. Nothing dramatic just life. Currently my RL job has a toxic manager they flew in around August and we had a meeting on Halloween that was just everyone complaining about him to upper management. He's still there and his behavior has thoroughly destroyed my peace of mind at the job so I wanted an outlet. Fluffy batfam just came back because people are still commenting on past works which gets me to come back and reread everything. Especially comments. I love comments. Please save my mental state with more comments while I figure out if a full 7 years at one job with otherwise great coworkers is worth the toxicity of one new manager. He doesn't pay me enough to get therapy.
As for the future here, two more fics before the next arc (working on editing it again) and I will be updating more often. Also working on things for other fandoms that have taken over my brain but who knows if I'll actually post them. Yes, I suck at this. Keep poking me with positivity and I will rear my head and post again even when I disappear for three years.

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