Chapter Text
The rain falls…
Ken watched in silence. The warm orange lights hit Paulo's face just right, a smile gracing his face for the first time in days.
It has been weeks since the night he confessed. He liked Paulo. Perhaps more than he could even dare to acknowledge. And yet, the man kept mum about it. And it has caused sleepless nights and downright intolerable awkward silence. Their co-members even started to notice things too.
He, on the other hand, didn’t want to be discouraged by the man’s lack of response. Rather, he kept brushing their comments away like they didn't matter. For if there's someone who manages to push and pull his heart, it would be that person sitting in a corner, an arm’s reach away and clueless to the chaos his presence is causing.
Perhaps he has been reading him wrong all this time? The moment he told Paulo that he liked him more than a friend, he didn't avoid him at all. He didn’t even bring it up. Like the confession didn't happen. His indifference though is making him think otherwise. And tonight, there is something telling him that it was okay. To be near him. To touch him. And somehow, the thought made him want to cry.
Today they both attended the wedding of a friend. Awkward as it may be, he received a message from Paulo asking him how they should get there. He offered to borrow a car, and Paulo understood that they could not bring a bike all the way to Tagaytay. He actually expected Paulo to shoot down his offer, but he conceded.
From the small message "Ingat sa pagmamaneho" before picking him up to always keeping him entertained while he drove, Ken knew that he has fallen deeper because of the man’s thoughtful gestures.
*****
Ken
"Ibang klaseng ngiti yan ha." I felt a nudge on my side as I watched Paulo sit in a corner, talking to Gelo. "Alam na ba niya?"
I looked sideways and there I saw Tank, the groom. I pulled away from him, but he was quick to grab my arm.
"Napano ka? Nagtatanong lang ako. Kanina pa ganyan ang titig mo kay Pau. Daig mo pa akong kinasal e."
I paid Tank a side glance, weighing if I should tell him or not. After all, he did notice how I’ve been acting around Paulo the past months. And I knew that I could no longer make any kind of excuse.
"He knows." I mumbled, not really intending to make a fuss about it. He, on the other hand, seemed to think otherwise.
"Ano?"
I rolled my eyes and pulled my arm away. I then moved towards Paulo, inserting myself in between him and Gelo, and placing the plate of fruit slices before him.
"Naubos na yung pinya. Do you want me to get you anything else?" I asked.
Gelo, the other one he was talking to, looked up at me and smiled. He then pulled Paulo's hand which made my brows furrow in aversion. He then stood up and walked behind Paulo as he pulled the scarf he was wearing and wrapped the white material on the other’s neck.
"Hey, Gel, okay lang ako." Pau said pulling the scarf, but Gelo held his hand to stop him from giving it back.
"Keep it." He stated and gave me a glance. "He's cold, Ken." He then clapped my shoulder before walking away.
I then sat beside him. I know he’s not used to the crisp atmosphere, and I almost wanted to scold myself for not being attentive enough.
"Nilalamig ka?" I asked.
"Ayos lang ako, Ken."
He was surprised when I held his hand. And indeed, his hands and fingertips were cold. I then stood and quickly shrugged off my coat, but he stopped me.
"Okay na, Ken. Siguro umuwi na tayo. Late na rin naman na."
*****
Paulo was sitting quietly in the passenger seat, lost in his own thoughts. I wanted to ask him. I wanted to know what he was thinking. And I could not help but ask.
"Pau, are you okay?"
"Yep. I'm fine." He responded curtly.
He didn't even look at me. Naiilang ba siya sa akin?
"Are you sure you can drive? Baka pagod ka na. Pwede namang ako muna."
I shook my head. "No. You need to rest. At tsaka kaya ko 'to. Para saan ba't andiyan naman ang lakas ko." I looked sideways and he was already looking at his lap.
Shit. Way to go, Ken. How can you make this more awkward than it already is?
"Uy, dre. Wag ka mailang. Ako lang 'to. We're good naman, di ba?" I asked and I somehow fear what his response will be.
Instead, he just nodded. And this time, my mouth moved on its own. Spitting words earning a mad blush from Paulo.
"Okay. Isang halik naman diyan pampagana?"
Tinampal niya sa akin ang souvenir. It's either I got him all tied up with my words or he's just mad. Something is telling me though that it was the latter.
"Suson ha. Sinasabi ko sa'yo."
Still, I decided to push my luck as I pulled his seat which made him lean backwards. I laughed and pinched his nose.
"Alam mo, ang cute mo.” I laughed. “Alam ko ang limitation ko sa'yo, dre. Kahit ikaw walang limit sa akin."
He only rolled his eyes. And so, I began driving.
*****
It's only been an hour since we left. The heavy rain made it difficult to see let alone drive in the welting storm. I already saw cars stopping on side roads but that would be more dangerous. And so, I decided to push through. From my peripheral, I could already see Paulo looking worried.
"Pau? I think we need to stop. We need to find somewhere safe to stay. I can't drive in this storm."
He nodded and then continued typing away on his phone. "There's an inn a hundred meters away. Baka pwedeng doon na tayo magpatila."
I then drove and sure enough, after a hundred meters or so, a small sign blinked under the dark rainy skies.
"Diyan ka lang. Lock the doors. Ako na ang bababa." He almost protested and I didn't let him. I climbed down and as soon as the wind brushed on my skin, I almost cursed.
Shit. Ang lamig.
I ran quickly with nothing, not even an umbrella. And as I walked to the building and stood before the receptionist, I asked, teeth brimming in the cold air. "Do you have a room with two beds?"
She looked a bit surprised, like she found something so profound but soon recovered when I raised my brows in question.
"Puno po kasi ngayon, Sir. Ayos lang po ba sa inyong maghintay? May magchecheck out po mamayang 12 midnight. Paalis po yata. Nagbilin na kanina."
I thought about it. Honestly, sa ngayon ay wala naman kaming ibang choice. Glancing at my wristwatch, I saw that it was already 10:40pm. More than an hour.
"Sir, kayo po ba si Ken Suson?"
Oh. Now I knew why she looked so surprised earlier. So, someone did recognize me, and I nodded.
"Sorry po, Sir. Recently just saw rumors of you dating someone." She then stopped herself. "Sorry po ulit! Fan mo po kasi ako."
"It's fine. Sino ba ang bias mo?"
She squealed and I raised my brow. "Kayo po... tsaka si Pablo."
"It's your lucky day, then." I smiled at her, and she looked a bit confused. "Miss, what is your name?"
"Althea."
"Alright, Ms. Althea, I'll be availing the room. But can we stay somewhere? Yung kasama ko kasi naiwan pa sa sasakyan."
She nodded eagerly. "Yes po, Sir. May function room po sa likod. You can stay there while waiting." She then asked about my details, and I gave them to her as she processed a form. After signing, I asked her.
"Pwede ba makahiram ng payong?"
*****
Walking with an umbrella in my hand, I marched outside to pick Paulo up. I then climbed on the seat and turned off the engine.
"There's no vacant room." I managed to say. "But we're staying there. Hintayin lang natin yung isang magche-checkout."
I then climbed out of my seat and immediately ran to his side of the door. Before Paulo could even open it, I did so and helped him climb out. I then grabbed his hand in mine, and he looked at me with wide eyes.
I pulled him closer, my arm reached for his shoulder.
"Oi, manok."
"Mababasa ka." I said firmly and pulled him closer, this time by his waist.
"Suson ha. Pag yang kamay mo bumaba pa..."
I looked at him and I grinned.
"Ano? Sasagutin mo na ba ako?"
Tinampal niya ulit ang mukha ko but I only laughed and pulled him to me, almost lifting him. That and the cold breeze blew which made him shiver. I squeezed his palm as I pulled him to my side. He needed warmth. And I would gladly do anything just to keep him from this cold.
*****
We sat in one corner of the function room, clamped beside each other. He wanted to get away, but I pulled his hand back and sat him beside me. He is cold and I began rubbing my palms in his hand to keep him from shivering.
"You don't need to do that, you know." He said weakly as I blew air on his hands enclosed in mine.
"Nilalamig ka." I said flatly.
"Kaya ko." he countered and pulled his hand back. But I still took it regardless.
"Alam ko. I just wanted to warm you up."
Perhaps then you will warm up to me too.
This time, he let me hold his hand. I was surprised though when he leaned his body weight on me as he rested his head on my shoulder. His eyes are closed. I am still holding his hand and somehow, this cold didn't feel as cold anymore.
We are both tired and maybe, Pau just needed the rest. After all, it was the only break we had after all the events that the group has continuously taken on in the past weeks. Perhaps we needed this both. My eyes then darted to the white scarf wrapped around his neck. The one that Gelo gave. And for some reason, I wanted to pull the material away.
Gago, Ken. Let it be.
I looked at him and I can already tell that he has fallen asleep.
"Paulo..." I may sound like an idiot but who the hell cares. "Do not seek anyone else. Seloso akong tao. Maramot ako pagdating sa'yo."
I looked sideways but he already seemed to have fallen to dreamland. And as I clutched his hand in mine, one thought lingered.
"Mahina ka sa lamig pero tila mas lalo akong nanlalamig sa'yo." I kissed the back of his hand and whispered. "Let me melt your ice, Paulo. Let me be your warmth in the coldest of days."
The heavy downpour continued without abandon. I then felt him turn sideways as warm soft lips lightly touched the skin of my neck. And I froze.
"Please, Nase..."
Somehow, the universe is tempting me to fall. To fall even harder than I already had. And I wished to the heavens to let the storm fall. Harder. Longer. So, we could stay like this for as long as time would permit.
"...let me hold you a little bit longer."