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Perhaps he’s gotten comfortable. Too used to the status-quo. Taken it for granted to have you in his life, waiting at home.
However, the last thing HiMERU would have expected when returning from a business trip was to walk in on you in bed with another guy.
But there you are. There he is.
On his side of the bed, snugly tucked into the covers and your serene face right next to his, on the same pillow, while you nap. The stranger is wide awake though, staring at HiMERU with unblinking intensity, who is still standing frozen in place at the foot of the bed.
This is perhaps the weirdest staring contest HiMERU has ever found himself in. And he’s going to lose.
He resists the urge to get distracted by a strand of hair tickling his nose. If this guy isn’t bothered by it, neither will HiMERU. But even as his eyes start to burn with every second passing and not moistening them, the stranger remains completely unimpressed – expressionless, yet there’s a smug air about him that rubs HiMERU the wrong way.
But before he is forced into surrender by human biology, the – entirely unfair, as HiMERU would like to point out – competition is interrupted by you slowly stirring awake. Meaning that even though that causes him to look away first, this is definitely a tie. Definitely.
Though it takes you a good minute to get past the disorientation of sleep lingering on your mind and body, by the time your eyes focus on him, and your lips stretch into a wide smile – entirely too adorable for how goofy it is – he still hasn’t found his voice and you beat him to a greeting: “Meru! You’re back!”
Your sleepiness is working out in his favour, at least for the time being, since you don’t question why he hardly does so much as nod, standing there in a much more awkward fashion than anything you’re used to or that would be befitting of him. He manages to round the bed to his side – still occupied by his adversary, who doesn’t so much as acknowledge him approaching, the smug bastard – before your expression turns quizzical. “What’s the matter…?”
“What is that?” Obviously, he knows. They make him promote these plushies at least twice a year. Better questions would have been: Why is it here? Where did it come from?
“That’s you.” You state it so matter-of-factly, HiMERU doesn’t know whether you’re actually being serious – as if thinking there’s any way he could have forgotten about its existence – or if you’re trying to get a rise out of him.
In case of the latter, it’s working.
HiMERU has been looking forward to returning to your side practically since he left a few days ago. The hours spent in a cramped bus with Amagi and Shiina shouting even over the noise-cancelling of his headphones only intensified the feeling. And now there’s this thing in the way of sliding into bed next to you and wrapping you in his arms.
Needless to say, he’s not exactly gentle when he reaches for its head, lifting the invader up to eye level to muster him.
“Careful!” How quickly you bolt into a sitting position the moment HiMERU’s fingers tighten around the Nui’s squishy cranium to snag it back – concerned expression, a careful, little headpat for the thing and all – is a first. He’ll keep that in mind for when he needs you out of bed. “He’ll get brain damage!”
“It doesn’t look like there’s much brain up there to damage in the first place…” Despite the comically large head, that is. You, however, don’t look amused. The Nui, now safely tucked in between the headboard and your pillow – out of his reach, as HiMERU offhandedly notes – looks infuriatingly pleased.
“I wonder who he got that from.” As commendable and convincing as your serious act had been up until now, you’re starting to crack – now obviously joking with a grin barely contained by your dwindling composure. HiMERU still gives you a playfully offended look. “Besides, that’s part of his charm.”
“So, you’re saying you’d like HiMERU better if he weren’t as smart?” As much as he values your opinion, that is not an image change he has any intention of carrying out. HiMERU should be on top of everything. Intellect, naturally, included.
“No. Part of your charm-“ With the last remains of any pretence out of the way, HiMERU can’t tell whether it’s your hands reaching out to beckon him closer, or his own body urging him to climb into bed at long last. There’s no point in working out which came first either – not when both the sheets and you are every bit as soft and inviting as he left them. How you welcome the touch once he’s settled down and his hand finds your waist, he’ll count as his charm working. “- is having the brain cells, yet still managing to forget how to use them.”
That earns you a look. Still, it’s one that turns out much less pointed than HiMERU would have liked. You’re lucky he loves you. “It’s not a very convincing likeness if they got something so crucial wrong, is it?”
“Be nice to our son.” First, it’s him. Now, he suddenly has a child. HiMERU would have thought you’d at least consult him first before making such life-altering decisions.
When you furnish him such a fit occasion, how could he ever resist? “Oh, so perhaps he got it from you, then.” Got you. A smile spreads on his lips, smug – no matter how small it is. It’s been too long. While he’s grateful that calling and texting you reduces the distance to something feeling much less significant when he’s away from home, it’s just not the same as bantering in person. Hence, after missing out on teasing you for days, even a small victory feels rewarding enough for him not to notice the hint of a pout slipping into his tone.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about. He’s your splitting image. Clearly.” You prop yourself up on one elbow, reaching for the Nui again to hold it up next to HiMERU’s head for emphasis and comparison.
“That… looks nothing like me.” When you don’t budge an inch, his pout turns visible. Or it would be, if HiMERU wasn’t caught up in the scent of your shampoo, his face firmly tucked into the hollow of your neck. You can feel it still and almost want to laugh. Almost.
“Hm… You’re right. He’s even cuter.” However, once again, you prove to be a tough nut to crack – unusually so. You’re always the one to cave in first – when it comes to cracking up that is. The little grin from earlier was hardly enough. He wants to hear it, the sound so fundamentally you that it doesn’t feel like he’s got you back for real until he does. Maybe it’s playing a bit dirty, nuzzling into you right where he knows you’re ticklish and peppering your skin with barely-there kisses. But desperate times call for desperate measures.
And there it is, slowly bubbling in your throat, just dying to spill over at long last.
“Now you’re just acting extra cute on purpose.” HiMERU can feel the giggles slipping out with your words right underneath his lips. But he won’t allow you to squirm out of his hold just yet, tightening his arms around you to keep you right where you are, where he likes having you best.
“Hm… Is it working?” Perhaps the way his own mouth steadily curls into a wider smile is detrimental for what he’s trying to achieve, but he can’t find it in himself to care much about efficiency when it feels warm and right. And when a brush of his nose right under your ear is what breaks the dam for good and earns him his reward, there really is no need to even think in terms like efficiency or potential anymore. In fact, there is very little on his mind at all – at least nothing he could ever hope to sum up with words – and he finds himself simply relishing the sound. Not smug over victory, just happy.
But still. Naturally, it’s working.
“Mh… Maybe…” That you don’t verbally agree, despite your throat betraying you by making no effort to keep your laughter at bay, doesn’t matter. Ultimately, comfort swallows what little of your mumble makes it past your lips at all, and silence envelops the two of you in the aftermath. Unlike the kind that you both have been dealing with the last few days, it’s not an empty one, but filled with things that have no need to be said out loud when they can be felt. Being as close as you are, tangled up under the cover of home, they’re almost corporeal – huddled up in bed with you, squeezing into what little space remains between your bodies, seeping into skin and bone and flesh over time.
He’s been craving this at least as much as your unbridled laughter – your quiet. A delicate balance between the two is what he’s come to know home sounding, feeling like. It’s the framework, the beams holding it up behind the plaster, creaking with the changes of life. In line with that, you speak up again exactly when he expects you to.
“Perhaps I should make him a little hat…” One arm folded underneath your head and the other slung over HiMERU’s side, holding the Nui, you muse out loud as you seize up the plushie and its, frankly, quite basic wardrobe over his shoulder.
“Oh, he gets one?” The way that of all things causes him to immediately perk up when it didn’t look like he had any plans of moving any time soon is quite comical – his slightly offended tone even more so. Especially, since he’s just about the last person to have any right complaining about a lack of hats.
“Unlike you, he doesn’t already take up half the closet space with them alone.” Naturally, they’d also be a lot smaller. Perhaps you shouldn’t make just one… After all, it wouldn’t be on brand, would it?
Before you can figure out the details – materials and patterns and such – HiMERU’s quiet grumble against your collarbone almost makes you laugh again. “I thought you liked them…”
“I thought you did.” Honestly, the presence of his… well, there’s no other way but to call it a collection, has baffled you time and again. You get that it’s a hobby, but you’d think that if he goes through the trouble of accumulating enough for a small museum, he’d want to wear a different one every day of the week. As is, they see very little use outside of taking up space and being looked at. “You rarely ever wear them.”
“I do.” Okay, well, some of them. But that’s a select few. “I don’t have that many occasions to.”
Why he would need one in the first place, given he doesn’t exactly work a normal 9 to 5 and you dare say fashion statements are at least part of the job description, you don’t know. If anyone could get away with wearing a fancy hat on a normal ass Tuesday, it’d probably be him. But you don’t ask or point that out, struck by the feeling that it’ll get you nowhere anyway. Instead, you think of a solution for his woes.
“If you want a new one so bad…” While you genuinely just want to be nice, you can hardly contain a laugh, already knowing what he’s likely going to say to your offer. “I could knit you a beanie for Christmas. That doesn’t need any special occasion.”
Clearly, HiMERU remembers the last attempt.
“God no-“ The protest is instantaneous and so is your laughter.
“So this is how you thank me for my generosity.” Although you exaggeratedly sigh and shake your head, the disappointment isn’t quite convincing with the persistent chuckles slipping past your lips every now and then, even when they’re occupied with lingering against HiMERU’s temple in a kiss. Fortunately, it doesn’t need to be.
You’ve long since accepted that perhaps knitting’s a craft you simply shouldn’t get into. For everyone’s benefit. Or perhaps save it for when you have more time and patience to devote, years down the line – no more work, just you and HiMERU and maybe some other heads profiting from a new (hopefully stylish) means of keeping warm…
In the meantime, you could look into getting some new storage instead. And take on building it yourself this time to spare him the frustration. And plan a proper occasion to parade some of the collection. Anything to enable a slightly odd, but certainly no less endearing passion.
You’re not allowed to ponder in depth, since HiMERU shifts before long – turning onto his back with your head resting right above his heart. This time, both his hands and expression are much softer as he picks up the miniature idol, turning it in his hands a few times to examine it from all angles. You’re about to ask him whether he’s searching for something specific – maybe checking the label to see if it's legit? Who knows – when he speaks up first: “When and where did you even get this?”
“Rinne.” Amagi. Of course. “Gave it to me before your trip, ‘so I wouldn’t miss you as much.’”
What a ridiculous reason. Then again… If it makes you feel any better…
“If you wanted one, you could have told me…” Perhaps this has been an oversight on his part. After all, he’s heard you gush about these many a time when he bought the newest one for Kaname. Maybe he should do the same for you. Didn’t they just announce another? A bear… or a cat, was it?
“I know. But I thought you might find it weird sharing a bed with the creature.” Startled by how quickly you’ve switched from “son” to that, HiMERU involuntarily snorts. Then again, coming from you, “creature” isn’t necessarily a derogatory term. Judging by the affectionate way you fiddle with its little arm – much like you would with his fingers when holding hands – it’s more so an endearment. And if he were to really think about it, perhaps he’d also consider himself fortunate that you seem to be able to find charm in the strangest of things.
“I think I’ll manage…” Equal parts because he’s well aware that he could never say no to you and because secretly, he finds the notion that you’d want an entire army a bit cute, that is. “But I draw the line if I can’t fit anymore.”
“Worried about an uprising, are you?” While devastating in theory, the mental image of a horde of tiny HiMERUs – dressed as every cutesy animal in the book, refusing him entry or straight up carrying him out of the apartment above their comically large heads – that forces itself upon him, is so absurd that he can’t help but cover his face with one hand and laugh.
“Terribly.” He sounds terribly convincing with the amused wobble in his voice. “We need to keep their numbers in check.”
“Hm… if not many…” Had the course of this conversation from the get-go not given it away already, feeling you grin against his shoulder would have been more than enough to deduce you’re scheming. “Do you think they’d do a life-size version?”
“You already have that.” It’s an argument as simple as it is substantial. And surely, you’d have to agree – and more. If not bigger, he’s still certainly better.
“True.” Any further smartass remark gets stuck in HiMERU’s throat when you lift your head to look at him. It’s one only he receives – thoughtful, soft, and just a little amused – and it pins him in place, rendering him unable to avert his eyes. Not that he even wants to. “A very limited edition.”
Unlike a collector’s item, what resides here – in every nook and cranny, taking up space even where you’d never expect any to be – can’t be bought or sold. Nevertheless, time only serves to make it more invaluable – each moment, every heartbeat helping it grow.
How you carefully lean in and kiss him – or is it the other way round? – adds to that as well. And not just because it makes his pulse skyrocket while slowing down time to the point it seems like it stopped passing at all. It’s all at once, no distance remaining, filled with everything. What it boils down to, is simple.
It’s you. And him. And what’s between.
Nothing more, nothing less.
“You’re one of a kind.”