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Shuichi has never been in love.
Well, maybe that's not entirely true - Shuichi has a habit of crushing on people too easily and ending up with his heart being broken, and in such, he just doesn't expect anyone to ever fall for him. It's easier that way, and he doesn't want to make things awkward.
He's content loving his friends in his own way, always a space between them stopping him from getting too attached.
It's platonic love, it really is. It's not like anyone would ever grow romantic feelings for him, because he's nothing special.
At least, that's what he believed until now.
It all starts with a white gardenia one school morning in summer. Shuichi hadn't slept much the previous night, but when he enters the classroom, there's a flower on his desk. He's always the first one to arrive for classes, and it seems someone else knows and got ahead of him.
There's a store bought card attached with a simple thank you on it, and Shuichi squints. Since the note isn't handwritten, he can't tell who it is from, and why a gardenia of all things?
His classmates start filling the room and he quickly hides the flower, a little embarrassed about such a thoughtful gift when he's not even sure who he owes the pleasure.
During break, he takes his phone to look up flower meanings. Besides purity and innocence, it comes up with you're lovely, devotion and secret love.
Shuichi feels his face heat up and quickly shakes his head. He's probably completely misinterpreting this. It's just a flower, just a simple gesture of gratitude, most likely picked because it's pretty. Nothing else.
Who would go out of their way to pick a flower according to its meaning?
He usually helps out whoever asks for it without expecting a thank you for it, so maybe someone felt like thanking him anonymously for once. That must be it. Maybe someone's going to approach him to ask if the flower arrived.
He doesn't realize someone has been watching him from the back of the classroom, and he doesn't know it won't be the last flower for this puzzle.
The next time it happens is just after PE, a couple days later. Shuichi returns to the changing room and finds not only a flower, but an entire small bouquet of carnations. Light and dark red, and the occasional pink one. This feels too elaborate for a one time thanks.
Maybe he missed something. An anniversary? No. His birthday is in September. Did someone confuse him for the wrong person? Maybe those flowers aren't meant for him.
Maybe he should ask for a second opinion.
"I can't figure it out."
Shuichi scratches the back of his neck. Gonta is walking him down to the bus station after school, attentively listening.
They walk together often. Gonta is one of his closest and dearest friends, so Shuichi trusts him with this, even if he's embarrassed about it. Gonta wouldn't laugh at him.
"Sounds like Saihara-kun has a secret admirer", Gonta muses, pushing his glasses back up, "Does Saihara-kun know flower language?"
"Ah, barely. And come on Gonta, secret admirer? Me? It's not April's fools." He pulls his shoulders up. "It's probably gratitude and friendship?"
It's subtle, but Gonta scrunches his nose. Shuichi notices it. Maybe the sun is tickling him.
"Gonta thinks they're carefully picked actually", he responds, not looking at Shuichi, "Those colors represent gratitude, but also admiration, love and affection."
"I didn't know you were so versed on flower language, Gonta", Shuichi says, smiling, "Sorry. Of course, bugs. You'd know. I should've just asked you right away. You're the expert."
"No need to apologize, Gonta is happy to help Saihara-kun figuring out his admirer!"
Gonta seems so sure about it, but Shuichi had his fair share of heartbreak. He can't wrap his head around anyone going through all this trouble for him, even if the gesture is sweet. He feels like it's wasted on him, or ends up with I should've known yet again.
A week passes and Shuichi figures that would be the end of it. It's Friday after school, and just when he heads towards the fence leading to his apartment, a delivery man approaches him.
"Saihara Shuichi?"
"Ah, that's me. Huh?"
He gets presented with a clipboard. "Sign here please."
Shuichi signs absentmindedly and promptly gets a huge bouquet pushed into his arms. They're hydrangeas - purple, white, purple and blue. Shuichi blinks and wonders if this is a mistake, but the man has already disappeared.
Confused, he inspects the flowers and finds yet another printed card inside.
Poppy field at the park. Saturday, 10 am.
Love, secret admirer
It has to be a joke. Someone's playing a cruel prank on him, trying to get up his hopes only for him to be disappointed again.
Shuichi's heart hammers when he heads into his apartment, glad his uncle isn't home yet. He doesn't want to explain a giant bouquet and then having him be all supportive, only to have him console Shuichi tomorrow again because he stupidly thought anyone could mean it truthfully.
And curse Shuichi's anxious mind, it leaves him restless all night. Somewhere along the line he gives up on sleep and plays with the thought of just not showing up, but that would be rude, because there is the low chance this is real.
Morning comes around, and Shuichi decides on going.
With three coffees in his bloodstream, Shuichi arrives a little early to the location. He figures it's right at the entrance to the park, so he settles to wait there for at least half an hour before calling it a day and discarding it all as a prank.
The poppy field looks beautiful against the spotless blue sky, the sunlight making the colors pop. It really is the ideal spot for a date, something unforgettable. If this is serious, someone put a lot of thought into it.
Footsteps make Shuichi perk up, only to spot Gonta heading into the park. His head tilts up when he spots Shuichi, he waves with a smile and makes his way towards him.
"Good morning Gonta", Shuichi greets, "Bee watching as usual?"
Gonta looks away bashfully. He's hiding something behind his back, and Shuichi raises an eyebrow.
"Not today", Gonta replies, "Gonta has something important to do today."
"Ah, well. You were right. My secret admirer asked me to meet up here. Not that I expect anyone to show up." Shuichi plays with his fingers. "Am I being naive? I... am not the kind of person people fall in love with."
"No!"
Shuichi's head whips up under the heavy response, and Gonta's eyes widen a little over his own volume.
"Gonta means..." He clears his throat. "Saihara-kun is one of the kindest people Gonta knows. No... Not one. He is. Nobody has been so nice to Gonta at any other school he tried to go to. Saihara-kun helped Gonta feel like he actually belongs somewhere."
Gonta isn't looking at him, shifting his weight from one foot to another. His hair looks beautifully wavy today, freshly washed and brushed and he's wearing a bowtie.
Oh…
Shuichi starts to realize where this is going.
"Gonta is bad with words. His handwriting is as bad as his words, but he really didn't want Saihara-kun to think it's a prank, so Gonta had to come forward."
He reveals his hidden hand with a single red rose.
"Gonta isn't much and he's far from being a gentleman. As long as he isn't a proper gentleman, Gonta won't make a good husband-"
Shuichi gapes at him when Gonta holds the rose towards him.
"But maybe, if Gonta tries really hard, he could be a good boyfriend. Gonta really wouldn't embarrass Saihara-kun, he promises!"
His voice cracks and he bows, holding out the rose.
"Gonta is Saihara-kun's secret admirer. No prank. Only Gonta being cowardly."
Shuichi takes the rose from Gonta's trembling fingers. Finally manages to close his mouth again, taking a deep breath.
"You're not a coward, Gonta", he says quietly and Gonta peeks up at him.
"He isn't?"
"No... And you... You don't have to change anything about yourself. You're enough, you're... Even more than I deserve, I-"
"No." Gonta straightens back up. "Gonta will accept if Saihara-kun thinks he's enough for him, but not if he puts himself down for it. Because it's not true. Saihara-kun deserves good things he won't grant himself. Gonta knows he's not a gentleman yet, but if Saihara-kun allows it, he'd show him Gonta's love."
He smiles a little, and Shuichi thinks he's blushing on his nose.
"Gonta tried to say it with flowers, because that's how he shows bug friends that he loves them, but he wants Saihara-kun to hear it without doubt."
He takes a final deep breath.
"Gonta loves Saihara Shuichi. He would like to be his boyfriend."
And Shuichi is built too close to the water, because he starts crying. Entirely against his will, and Gonta immediately reels back in alert, probably thinking he did something wrong.
"Sorry", Shuichi sniffles, "I'm just overwhelmed. I... You're wonderful, Gonta. I'd love to... to call you my boyfriend."
"Really?" Gonta perks up like an excited puppy, only to immediately draw back, pushing his glasses back up his nose. "Um, he means. He's very grateful-"
"You don't have to be so formal with me. And please... You can call me Shuichi."
"Shuichi." Gonta nods seriously. "Got it."
There's an awkward beat of silence and Gonta wrings his hands.
"Um, let Gonta know if he's going too fast but... Would he be able to kiss Sai-, ah, Shuichi?"
Shuichi wipes his eyes with the back of his hand and nods, sniffling under a smile.
"Yeah. Yeah, you may. I'd like that."
And it's a little awkward when Gonta leans down and Shuichi gets buried by his hair, and both of them laugh about the clumsiness of it. Shuichi presses his hand against Gonta's chest, leaning up instead and curling his finger under his chin to steady him, drawing him into a soft kiss.
Gonta's breath stutters across Shuichi's skin, he tastes sweet, like honey (probably from breakfast, he muses), and with the sweet scent of flowers wrapped around them, Shuichi feels his heart heavy with fondness.
It's true. Gonta went above and beyond to show him his love, and Shuichi doesn't want to insult him by denying himself to accept it.
He's going to press the rose in a book later, he thinks. This declaration of love is special.
A love letter that belongs framed on the wall to remind Shuichi of this day - when his heart bloomed for the first time in his life.