Work Text:
A rock song blares from her radio. Brushing her vibrant red hair, Gosalyn glances at her reflection in the mirror, checking that her outfit matches the image in her head from the previous night—not that it matters too much, frankly. A pink jersey, jeans and purple sneakers are all she needs to look and feel good. Though she usually wears her hair in a ponytail, it flows down to its full-length today, stopping just above her shoulders.
Switching off the radio, Gosalyn slumps onto her half-made bed (ignoring the nasally male voice in her head reminding her that it should have been done two nights ago) and slips straight into waiting mode, having spent all of her dopamine on getting ready.
Her green eyes wander over to the picture of her parents sitting on her nightstand. They smile and hold one another, blissfully ignorant of what awaits them only two years after the photo is taken. Her mother’s blonde hair drops down in a soft shoulder-length style, while her dad's red hair is styled to what can only be described as a short mullet. Their arms are wrapped around one another, mid-laugh, and their eyes sparkle with love.
Gosalyn doesn't have strong memories of her parents—they died when she was only five—yet she knows how her parents would react. Her mom would be baking an abundance of cookies (she remembers her mom always smelling of freshly baked cookies), while her dad would give her jokes to try out on her unsuspecting date.
… Probably.
And then, there's her grandpa. Being seven when he died, Gosalyn has enough memories to know precisely how her grandfather would have reacted. He would be a nervous wreck, worrying that no boy would understand his granddaughter and that he would be unable to match her spirit.
Don't worry, Gramps, Gosalyn tells herself, it's not that serious…
She had met Jacob at her new job. Fresh out of college, Gosalyn had taken a production assistant at the local TV news station. She mostly makes coffee and fetches snacks, but everyone has to start somewhere. Either way, her dad and Launchpad are proud of her.
One day, Gosalyn had been in the line at the station’s cafeteria (which is only slightly better than the slop she used to be served in high school), and in front of her had been a duck, taller than her by only a little bit, with mousy brown hair and green eyes, and feathers as white as snow; if you were asked to describe the most generic looking person you could think of, Jacob would be very close to it.
Gosalyn likes that about him. She’s never been attracted to men who look like models or have rippling muscles barely contained by their cotton-thin shirts.
In fact, before now, she's never been attracted to any men or, at least, interested in the idea of being attracted to men (or anyone).
Growing up, Gosalyn had many other interests, and, much to her dad's delight, dating was never one of them.
Until she met and got to talk to Jacob, Gosalyn had never entertained the idea of dating.
“Gosalyn! Are you ready yet?”
Gosalyn frowns at her dad's yell up the stairs. Why does he seem anxious for her to leave? Shouldn't he be…completely the opposite?
It had been in the middle of a dull nightly patrol when she had told him she was going on a date. He had turned and stared at her as though she had just told him she was moving halfway across the world and cutting off all ties with him.
Gosalyn was forced to sit and listen for a good hour as he had paced back and forth in the Tower, lecturing her that she was “too young to date”, along with many, many threats to Jacob’s life, without even knowing so much as his name.
When he had got that out of his system, her dad demanded she tell him everything she knew about Jacob—’I'm talking full name, address, favourite colour, social security number!’
After weighing her options—leaving and having to put up with her dad nagging her every two seconds or relenting and telling him what little she knew of Jacob (besides, he wouldn't know what was true or not), Gosalyn decided to give in to his request.
She and Jacob hadn't known each other for long, though in the little time they had, they had quickly hit it off.
He lived with his divorced mother, and his dad lived out of state. His favourite school subject was English, which sparked his interest in journalism. Every Sunday, he and his mother volunteered at the local homeless shelter. He worked a second job at his nearest mall to help his mom meet the rent. His favourite colour was green. His favourite band was London Revival, an up-and-coming rock band in St. Canard (apparently, the frontman’s name was London). He loved watching soap operas and cooking with his mom. He had once accidentally stolen candy but was too scared to return it.
He was…her friend—her only friend at work.
And Gosalyn treasured that.
This had seemed to satisfy her dad before a crime alert had popped up on the tower computer.
Despite his apparent satisfaction with Jacob's character, Gosalyn knew her dad—and she knew he still wouldn't be happy at the idea of his baby girl going on a date, no matter if it was a literal angel.
Why does it seem her dad can't wait for her to leave? It's already a shock that she had made it through the week without being grounded for a stupid reason; sometimes, her dad didn't even come up with a reason. If he were adamant she was staying home, her dad would go through Hell to make sure she did.
Gosalyn rolls off her bed and gives herself a once over in her mirror before sprinting downstairs.
Her dad, Drake Mallard, stands in the living room, grumbling under his breath while he buttons his purple jacket. Alarm bells sound off in her head; something isn't right here.
“Dad…? What are you doing?” Gosalyn asks in suspicion, narrowing her eyes.
“Getting ready to go,” her dad replies, as though it's the most obvious thing in the world.
“Right.” Dread bubbles in Gosalyn's stomach. “Out…where exactly…?”
Lifting his blue eyes to her green ones, her dad gives her an exasperated look.
“Wherever it is, you're going on your date, of course!”
What.
Gosalyn swallows and decides to give her dad the benefit of the doubt.
“With Launchpad?”
Her dad's brow furrows in the way it does when he thinks he's the only one making any sense.
“Noo. With you.”
The.
Gosalyn rests her hands on her hips, ready to put her dad in his place—a usual occurrence.
“What do you mean, with me? Do you even know what a date is?”
Her dad's cheeks flush with heat.
“Of course, I know what a date is!” he snaps. “I've been on plenty of them in my time, I'll have you know.”
Gosalyn scoffs, “Yeah, right. As if you expect me to believe that, Dad.”
Her dad shoots her a look before continuing.
“And that's exactly why I'm coming along! I'm not about to let my little girl venture out on her first date all by herself! I'm coming with you to act as your bodyguard.”
FUCK.
Well…at least that explains why she isn't grounded.
“Are you crazy?! I knew you were a pig-headed jerk, but—”
“Hey, hey, you watch your mouth, young lady!”
“I'm going on this date, alone. Like a normal person. Without a crazy guy in a mask following me—"
Gosalyn pauses, only just noticing how her dad is dressed.
“Wait—why are you dressed as Darkwing, anyway? Won't that give away your secret identity?”
“How else am I supposed to have access to my arsenal of weapons? They won't fit in my normal clothes!”
Greatly resisting the urge to punch her dad, Gosalyn pinches the bridge of her bill.
“Dad…”
“Come on, come on, what are we waiting for? That kid isn't going to threaten himself.”
“Dad.”
“What?”
“Dad, I love whatever…” Gosalyn gestures vaguely at him. “This—is. But do you know how weird Jacob—”
“Still a stupid name…” her dad grumbles to himself.
“Would think,” Gosalyn forcefully continues, “I am if you turned up with me? Heck, he’d probably cancel the date altogether!”
“Good! Even more reason for me to go!”
Seeing that her current attack is having no effect, Gosalyn switches tactics.
“And then, I’ll become a social pariah at work. It’ll spread around that Gosalyn Mallard is the weird one. ‘Don’t ask her out to coffee; she brings some freaky dude with her’.”
As her dad’s face drops, Gosalyn has to resist a smirk. It’s working.
“Soon, I won’t have anything to do. People won’t want to ask anything of me. And if no one wants to give me anything to do, what’s the point of keeping me on? I’ll be fired. Not only that, but I’ll never be able to work in the journalism business again. My career will go down the drain, and all that hard work I did in college will have been for nothing. I'll grow penniless and alone.”
“Okay, okay!” her dad cries. “I get it. I won’t come. I’ll stay home.”
Gosalyn smiles in relief.
“Thanks, Dad.”
“Excuse me for wanting to protect my daughter…” her dad mumbles, staring at the ground.
Gosalyn rolls her eyes and kisses her dad on the forehead.
“Dad, I appreciate it, I do. But I’m twenty-one. I’m grown up now.”
“Barely,” her dad says bitterly.
“I am,” Gosalyn affirms, “and like it or not, I’m going on a date. I’ll have my phone on me at all times, and I’ll call you the moment I need to, okay?”
Her dad doesn’t reply. From his clenched fists, Gosalyn can tell that the idea of her going on a date and being an adult is still difficult for him to confront.
“Dad..?” Gosalyn gently urges.
“...Fine,” her dad concedes. He stares her in the eye, his eyes blazing in the paternal manner that only her dad’s eyes can. “But you’re back before five p.m., and I want updates every twenty minutes!”
“Every hour,” Gosalyn haggles.
“Forty minutes.”
“Thirty-five.”
“Thirty-two.”
Aware that she and her dad could go back and forth literally all day, Gosalyn sticks out her hand for her dad to shake. He gives her a firm shake before he pulls her into a tight embrace. Gosalyn returns it, taking in the scent of his freshly washed costume.
Her dad squeezes her and pulls back, sighing. He brushes away a loose strand of red hair from her forehead.
“Just…be careful, okay, Gos?”
“I will.” Gosalyn grins. “Trust me, Dad.”
“I mean it. If the guy’s a creep or does anything…”
“I’ll kick his ass,” Gosalyn promises.
Her dad chuckles, “Language.” He pulls her close once more and returns her earlier kiss on her forehead. “Alright, get going. Have fun and whatever else you kids do these days.”
“Dad.”
“I dunno, rollerblading or something,” her dad jokes, grinning.
“Dad, it’s 2004. No one rollerblades anymore.”
Her dad ruffles her hair.
“Like you’ve ever let that stop you before.”
After more teasing and hugging, her dad eventually relinquishes her, handing over the keys to her car. With another promise to keep safe and have fun, Gosalyn heads to her car and drives away.
Darkwing watches and waves at Gosalyn as she leaves then leaves the living room and enters the kitchen, where his partner is making what looks to be a 10-foot-tall sandwich.
“LP, watch the house! I’m heading out.”
“Sure thing, DW. Where ya going?”
Determination rising in him, Darkwing puffs out his chest and strikes a heroic pose.
“I’m going to protect my little girl.”
---
After cursing out many drivers on the way (seriously, can nobody in this city but her drive?!) Gosalyn reaches the coffee shop where she and Jacob have arranged to meet. It’s only a short drive from their workplace, and they frequent it on their lunch breaks, so it’s a comfortable environment for what is meant to be a casual date.
However, when she finds Jacob, he is gripping his cup like his life depends on it, and his eyes are as wide as her dad’s when he found out she’d set up the gas gun to shoot super glue (again).
Clearly, the fate of the world is resting upon his shoulders.
Gosalyn sits at the table, touching his shoulder. Jacob startles, almost causing his drink to spill everywhere.
“Sorry!” Gosalyn apologises, biting back a laugh. “Sorry, that wasn't my- I didn't mean to do that.”
“It's fi- you're fine.”
“You okay?” Gosalyn queries, arching an eyebrow.
Jacob runs his hands through his hair, letting out a deep exhale.
“Uhm, yeah. I'm okay.”
“Nervous?”
“You could…say that.”
“Okay,” Gosalyn carefully says. Her eyes roam to the counter, where there’s a small line of people and a wide selection of cakes in a display case and on top. She chooses her food and drink in her head and adds, “Hey, why don’t I get us a slice of cake each? Sound good?”
Jacob’s eyes snap to her, and he takes a moment to register her words. Gosalyn offers a reassuring smile, which seems to relax him, if only for a moment. He nods, saying, “S-sure. Yeah. Sounds good.”
Gosalyn takes his order and joins the growing line of people. The redhead drums her fingers on her thigh while she waits, humming under her breath. She's always hated waiting in lines, though not as much as her dad.
He can never just stand in a line. He has to mumble about something—anything he can spot that doesn't agree with his “strict” moral code (he thinks it is), whether it's someone talking too loudly on their phone, the music being too loud, or even if his clothes don't feel quite right.
Gosalyn gets it. Those things can get to her, too.
The redhead orders a triple espresso for herself, a slice of chocolate cake, and a lemon loaf slice for Jacob. When she brings the order back to the table, Jacob only looks nervous, a definite improvement from about to turn his pants a different colour altogether.
Gosalyn only manages to put the tray down when Jacob suddenly blurts out,
“I just wanna be friends, Gosalyn.”
Gosalyn pauses, her hand poised over her cake slice. She blinks once and turns her green eyes onto his pair.
He looks terrified.
“Cool,” she grins. “Me, too.”
“You're not…you're not mad that I…well, that I ‘tricked’ you?”
“Nah,” Gosalyn assures him, “you didn't trick me. A date is usually two friends hanging out, right? It doesn't have to be romantic.”
Jacob swallows. He fidgets with his cup.
“You're my only friend at work, Gosalyn,” Jacob quietly admits, “Everyone thinks I'm weird. Or that I don't fit into their mould. But then, I met you—and you didn't care about any of that. You just wanted to be my friend.
But I…I-I didn't know how to ask you to hang out with me without it sounding like a date. It just…kinda accidentally sounded like that, and I didn't know how to correct you.”
He gives a sheepish smile.
“Forgive me?”
“It's totally cool, dude,” Gosalyn reassures him, “I would rather this be a friendly date than a romantic one. It's way more awesome.”
Jacob's face brightens.
“You're sure?”
“Absolutely.”
---
After that whole misunderstanding is cleared, Gosalyn and Jacob easily launch into a conversation about his favourite band. Jacob passionately tells her about their songs, and Gosalyn is only too happy to listen, though she has to focus on a spot on the wall behind him to concentrate.
Jacob is halfway through describing why he thinks the band’s older songs are better—when Gosalyn sees it.
A flash of purple out of the corner of her eye. She stiffens, her hand tightening around her coffee cup.
He didn't.
He wouldn't.
The entrance jingles to indicate another customer entering. Someone in the booth next to them whispers the words Gosalyn was praying they wouldn't.
“Wait—is that Darkwing Duck?”
Gosalyn turns her eyes to her right—and sure enough, Darkwing Duck stands in the line, trying hard but failing not to make it obvious that he's staring at her.
She's going to murder him. Slowly. Painfully. Rip each of his feathers out a time. Boil him—
“Gosalyn?”
Gosalyn is ripped out of her homicidal thoughts and turns her attention to Jacob, whose brow is furrowed with concern.
“You okay? You look…like the person you hate most has just walked in.”
“Yeah.” Gosalyn runs a hand through her hair. “Something like that.”
Jacob looks where she had been—his eyebrow quirks.
“Darkwing Duck? Huh.” He shrugs. “My mom thinks he's alright.”
“Mm-hm,” Gosalyn hums. She stares at her dad, who is looking everywhere but at her.
That's the way he wants to play it—fine. He came here to see a date, and that's just what he's going to get.
“Jacob,” Gosalyn hisses, gesturing for him to come closer, “listen to me. This is gonna sound weird, but trust me, okay?”
Though his face says otherwise, Jacob nods.
“We need to pretend like we really are on a date.”
Jacob's eyes bulge. Whatever he had been expecting her to say, clearly, that wasn't it.
“Excuse me?”
“I hate Darkwing Duck. I can't stand the guy. He got me in trouble with the cops after I broke into my high school when I was fourteen.”
It was the other way around. The cops had found Quiverwing breaking into her high school at night and had called Darkwing to pick her up from the cells since they knew Quiverwing was his sidekick and had no idea who else to call.
(Gosalyn Mallard was nobody's sidekick, thank you!)
“Ever since then, the guy's had some kind of vendetta against me. He follows me everywhere.”
Mild panic pinches Jacob's face.
“Everywhere?” Jacob almost sounds ready to beat up Darkwing.
“Not everywhere,” Gosalyn quickly amends, “but he keeps an eye on me whenever we're in the same area, y’know?”
“And…pretending we're on a date would…what?”
“It'll make him pissed,” Gosalyn grins. “Trust me,” she adds when Jacob still seems unconvinced.
Jacob opens his mouth, presumably to ask her if this is really a good idea—when another voice, deeper than it should be, beats him to the punch.
“Ah, I noticed you two couldn't take your eyes off me,” Darkwing smirks, “One of the burdens of being a superhero. I can't go anywhere without people throwing themselves at my feet and begging me for an autograph.”
Before either can stop him, Darkwing drags over a chair, ignoring the protests of the people whose table he stole it from.
“But I'm a modest guy. I can stop and talk to two of my biggest fans.”
He leans in close to Jacob, grinning.
"By the way, did you know I have a lot of weapons on me right now? Say if, oh, I don't know, the entire United States Army walked in, I could take 'em all, no problem. Yep, yep, yep, they'd have no chance against Darkwing Duck, annihilator of bad guys and boys who make moves on girls they hardly know!"
If looks could kill, her dad would already be halfway to the pits of Hell, such is the ferocity of the glare Gosalyn shoots at him.
Gosalyn takes in a deep breath. She flashes Deadwing a smile, which makes him squirm in his seat.
“Oh wow, Darkwing!” Gosalyn gasps, “How humble of you to take time out of your busy crime-fighting day to come and speak to us peasants!”
If laying it on thick was an Olympic sport, Gosalyn knows she would win the Gold, no contest.
“U-uh,” Dad stammers before clearing his throat and puffing out his chest, “It's no problem, citizen! Darkwing Duck always has time to mingle with those he works hard to protect!”
Jacob's eyes dart between the two of them.
“Urm…should I…?”
Gosalyn grabs Jacob's hand so quickly that her wrist almost snaps. Dad's eyes widen, followed by a high-pitched strangled noise straining from his tightly closed beak.
“No, it’s fine,” Gosalyn assures Jacob, “Don’t let him interrupt our date. In fact, we should tell him everything we’ve done so far on our lovely date.”
“We…should?”
“Yeah!” Gosalyn nods. “Like—” She holds out her other hand, silently asking Jacob to play along with it. He glances at Darkwing, then back to Gosalyn before placing his hand in hers.
“Like how we’ve kissed so much!” Gosalyn continues, trying not to laugh at the look on both Jacob's and Dad’s faces, especially her dad's. His hands, beak, and eyebrows twitch while his face grows redder than his daughter’s hair.
“Is that appropriate for a young lady your age to be doing?” Dad grinds in between the gnashing of his teeth.
“I’m sure it seems that way to an old fossil like you.”
Gosalyn gestures to Jacob to come closer, which he does, and the two press their cheeks together. “But you see, Darkwing, we’re just so in love with each other!”
“I see,” Dad fumes. “And what would your father think about this?”
Oh, he’s willing to go that low, is he? Fine. Little does he know, he’s tangling with the limbo master.
(She’s probably played it twice in her life.)
“Oh, him?” Gosalyn pulls away from Jacob and leans towards her dad, grinning. “He’s such a pushover. He lets me do anything. The guy’s such a wimp.” Before her dad can say anything, Gosalyn sighs and pushes one hand into her cheek.
“Which is why I said yes to Jacob’s marriage proposal.”
“WHAT?!”
Jacob chokes on his coffee. Her dad flies to his feet, knocking back his chair. The entire coffee shop falls silent, with all eyes on the short, weird man dressed in purple.
“Y-you can’t get- what- you’re- why—!” Dad struggles to speak through his anger. Gosalyn bites back a giggle.
Hook, line, and sinker.
“You can’t get married!”
“Oh?” Gosalyn picks up her coffee and sips it. “Why is that?”
“Because—!” Her dad’s face suddenly falls, as though he’s only remembered he’s currently dressed as Darkwing, not Drake. “I- uh- b-because…”
“I think he’s had enough, Gosalyn,” Jacob interjects, showing a small smile that reaches his eyes. “I don’t want to be responsible for Darkwing Duck having a heart attack.”
“But he suits it so well,” Gosalyn jokes.
“Huh? Had…enough?” A crimson red, different to before, creeps across Dad’s cheeks. The penny appears to be slowly dropping for him.
A tiny pain develops in Gosalyn’s stomach.
“I think I’m starting to understand what’s going on here,” Jacob begins, “and if I’m right, then I get it.” He swivels in his booth seat to fully face the masked mallard. “Before you got here, Gosalyn and I already came to the conclusion that we didn’t have feelings like that for each other.”
“Huh?” Dad squawks. “You mean…”
“It was all a prank.” Gosalyn winks. “Gotcha.”
Unusually, Dad goes silent, eyes glued to the floor. He’s probably got relief coursing through his veins—
“Whaddya mean, you don’t have feelings for her?!”
Excuse me?
Gosalyn and Jacob share a look.
“Excuse me?” Gosalyn demands. In the next moment, an “URK” leaps from her throat as her dad thrusts his arm around her shoulder and pulls her close.
“Look at her! How can you sit there and say something like that?!” Dad gestures wildly to her. “What, are you too good for her?!”
Jacob shakes his head, waving his hands in front of him.
“N-no, that’s not what I—”
Dad jabs a finger in Jacob’s face.
“Well, you can BET she’s too good for you, buster! My ba—”
Gosalyn delivers a swift elbow to her dad’s gut. He makes a noise not unlike a goose being strangled. His hold on her loosens, and Gosalyn grabs the opportunity to free herself.
“C’mon, Jacob,” she says, offering her hand to him, “let’s get outta here.”
Jacob’s eyes dart from her to Darkwing and then back to her. With an unsure frown, he nods and takes her hand, allowing himself to be led out of the coffee shop and to Gosalyn’s car. Gosalyn is glad the only parking space she could find was around the corner.
Slumping against her car, Gosalyn runs a hand through her hair.
“Boy, that was—”
“Is your dad Darkwing Duck?”
Gosalyn’s head snaps to Jacob. With one brow raised, he smiles and crosses his arms.
“I-I…” Gosalyn’s beak falls open, and then, realising it would be meaningless to pretend otherwise, her entire body slumps. “...That obvious, huh?”
“Like a brick to the face.”
Gosalyn chuckles. “Yeah, I guess so. Sorry. When we get like that, we can’t help it. We’re too much like each other.”
“I can tell,” Jacob says, not unkindly. “I could also tell you and your dad are close. It’s nice, especially considering my dad couldn’t give two shits about me.”
Gosalyn’s heart twinges at the very thought. She knows what it feels like to have an adult who’s supposed to be responsible for your primary care, not even care about your well-being—only that you’re fed and in bed by a certain time.
“Sorry,” Gosalyn whispers, though it has nothing to do with her. People say it when they don’t know what else to say, don’t they?
“It’s okay.” Tapping his beak, Jacob winks. “Promise not to tell. Your secret is safe with me.”
Gosalyn throws her arms around Jacob.
“Thank you.”
---
It’s another hour before Gosalyn and Jacob part ways. One hour should have been enough time for her dad to calm down.
Hopefully.
Gosalyn creeps in the front door, listening and looking for any signs of her dad. She doesn’t want to be caught unaware and fall victim to one of his famous Drake Mallard Lectures—not without sufficient mental preparation. When no Dad-shaped figure jumps out at her, Gosalyn shuts the door and walks into the living room.
Oh crap.
In the middle of the living room, arms crossed and foot tapping, stands Drake Mallard. Gosalyn can practically imagine what his aura looks like. All dark and oozing in an unpleasant manner.
Dumping her keys on the coffee table, Gosalyn grins at him.
“H-hey, Dad.”
“Don’t you h-hey, Dad me, young lady,” Dad snaps. “What did you think you were doing, putting your poor father through something like that? Are you trying to send me to an early grave?”
Gosalyn throws her hands up in defence.
“Dad, I—”
“All that ‘oh, we’ve kissed so much’ and ‘we’re getting married’,” Dad mocks, putting on an impression of her (which sucks). “Give me a break, Gos.”
“Oh, c’mon, Dad!” Gosalyn sighs. “I was well within my right to do that! What dad turns up to their daughter’s date?”
“A very responsible and well-intentioned one, that’s what!”
“Dad…” Gosalyn steps forward and wraps her arms around him. Dad doesn’t hesitate to return the hug, holding her as close as possible. “Dad, look. I know you don’t like it, but I’m an adult now. I’m not the little girl you adopted.”
“You’ll always be my little girl, Gosalyn.” Her dad pulls away. Gosalyn could die at the wistful look written over his face. “And no matter how old you get, I’ll always want to protect you. No matter what.”
“Dad,” Gosalyn playfully groans. “You’re such a sappy dork.”
Her dad stands to his full height and gives her a look she’s become highly familiar with over the past thirteen years.
“And you’re grounded.”