Chapter Text
David watches his own naked chest expand and contract in the mirror.
His skin is colored in bruises and small scars, he got a small stubble and some light hair in his chest. There’s a small spot in his left shoulder that contrasts with his pale skin. His eyes look brighter, even if he has dark under eyes and his eyebrows almost connect in between his forehead, framing his eyes in a rather deep shadow.
He feels like he’s in a trance, looking at himself. No, not like that. He’s not in love with himself, he’s not narcissistic or anything. It’s just that he always felt like a thing, a piece of trash, a being. But now, he’s human. He looks at himself and sees a person. He watches his chest and thinks about his heart, his lungs, his ribs, every organic thing that makes him human. He doesn’t feel like he’s the most healed person in the world, there’s so much he’s still gotta do to minimize everything he did to his own brain and body, but he’s proud of himself, you know. He’s been sober, he has a job, a hobby and he’s been trying to get in touch with people around him to rebuild his life and get away from the hell that is his past.
David starts his shower and gets ready for work, he dresses himself and takes his car keys from where he threw it on his floor the night before and stops to look around. Even if he still keeps the habit of throwing his pockets’ contents on the floor and his place is not the nicest in the city, he keeps his apartment clean and tidy as much as he can; “For the sake of his own mind and healing”, he tells himself.
He finally leaves, heading to work. It’s retail, he’s not excited about it, but it’s a rather cold autumn morning and he really craves a warm black coffee right now. And maybe some other thing to eat. He’s hungry and he craves normal food, that’s a win.
—————
“David?”
That can’t be real.
“David? Is that you?”
A familiar voice, familiar face, familiar scent. That’s his cousin, Sophie, standing in front of him, ready to order some sugary bullshit from the cheap coffee shop he’s busy at. You see, ever since he started fighting his addiction, exactly 7 months ago, he can’t really remember the last time he encountered anyone from before his life changed forever. That includes friends and family, he actually ran away from everyone out of shame and fear. Seeing his cousin right in front of him after all this time was actually making his head start to spin a little. Okay, he gotta calm down. Does she know? Probably, yes, he doesn’t think his father would miss a chance to humiliate him, even if he’s not around anymore, about his overdose to the rest of the family. Yeah, okay, stop thinking about that. It’s cold but he’s sweating.
“S-Sophie?”
He didn’t mean to stutter.
“It’s been a while”
“Yeah”
“How’s life?”
He doesn’t want to answer that right away. He thinks she’s prying too much.
“Eh”
He’s the king of small talk. Sophie smiles forcibly.
“How’s life?” He indulges. The place is not too busy this morning anyways.
“Almost graduating” Oh? He couldn’t remember she was studying. Does it really been that long?
“Yeah? Studying what?”
“Art History” Boring. She looks a little apologetic, like they had this conversation before and she can tell he forgot about it.
“Cool”
“Cool, yeah”
Now it’s just awkward. David doesn’t really care.
“Um, I got a schedule… Unfortunately… Can I get-“ She places her sugary bullshit order. “See you later? Didn’t know you worked here”
“It’s rather new for me”
“Cool”
“Cool”
David is so tired, but Sophie finally gets up, and moves away from the counter
—————
David got a routine and he’s happy about it. He wakes up, goes to work, takes breaks and listens to music, gets home, experiments with food (he got a cooking book!), watches something on the TV while he tries not to think too much about things and then goes to sleep. Repeat. He learned that he can control his life like that, in a way, so he finds himself a little frustrated at the minimal threat of change. So when Sophie becomes a regular in the place he works and breaks the comfortable distance he puts in between him and his family with her small talk, he finds himself breaking a little bit.
Sophie asked for his number, how can he say no to her? In fact, the more he thinks, the more he’s convinced that no one in the world is capable of saying no to this girl. It’s a little annoying, how nice she is, how pure-hearted, how good. It’s warming to talk to her, it makes him a little mad. He feels bad, he can tell it’s jealousy.
Sophie messages him sometimes, sends pictures of street cats once she figures out he’s a cat person. Okay, he likes that. Maybe they’re somewhat friends now, cousin friends, friendly cousins? He suddenly doesn’t feel very bothered about it.
One uneventful morning, as always, he wasn’t really expecting her presence, but here she comes, a little out of breath, holding more bags than usual and ordering a cold brew. Different from her regular. David impulsively asks:
“What’s wrong?”
“Super duper busy week” It was a Monday.
“When are you not busy?”
“Have I already told you I’m graduating?”
He raises an eyebrow “yeah”
“Didn’t mean to be rude” She smiles apologetically. “I was invited to conclude my research in a specific project. And I have to take a trip to another country where I can engage better with said project/with it. The thing is, I was only accepted very recently. I’ll start it all next week! I only got some days to organize my life here before I have to go and spend, like, 2 months away!”
David can lie and say he doesn’t really care about Sophie’s perfect life and career, but she’s being so loud about all the stuff she’s researching recently that it actually got to him. He even started watching some boring old ass channel about art history, he found it helps him sleep very easily.
“So that’s why you’re out of breath”
“Yeah! And I still have to visit my friend!!”
“You have to?”
“It’s kind of an obligation”
“What do you mean…?”
And then she tells him about Simon, how he’s her friend from high school that has some sort of emotional attachment to her, who recently tried to kill himself after being in an accident and becoming paraplegic.about how she visits him in the psychiatric hospital so she can be sure he’s getting better and giving him sweet treats now and then, and that’s why sometimes she orders pastries to-go. Whoa. Okay. That’s a lot. David wishes he had someone like Sophie when he was in a similar situation at a hospital.
Everything feels so rushed, so he adds a little less coffee to her drink. It's not right but he thinks she needs to calm down a little.
Before she leaves, she stares at him, like she’s about to say something, but holds herself and just waves a farewell. David gets a little curious on what could be going on her head, but decides not to think too much about it.