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“Do you think maybe we could… I don’t know… just go back to acting like friends for a bit?” Tendi sounds so nervous, her voice a perfect reflection of all the tension in this room right now.
“Yes! Oh, man, I am so glad you said something.”
“Yeah. Who knew pretending to be in a relationship with each other would be more nerve wracking than sealing a radiation leak?” she says with relief.
“Yeah. Let’s just keep it strictly friends stuff from now on.”
But lately, I think to myself, that line has been getting rather fuzzy.
“Agreed.” She drew out the first syllable in a way that was far too endearing. We’re on a work mission, I remind myself. I really shouldn’t be feeling like this.
“You know, some couples just act like friends anyway,” she says, not meeting my eye.
“Yeah! They don’t even do any of the lovey-dovey stuff.” Kind of like us.
“Why don’t we do that?” Tendi asks. And I know she didn’t mean it this way, but now I’m wondering why we don’t do that all the time. And I know that’s ridiculous, and obviously not what she meant, but… wait is she blushing?
“So, what do you want to talk about?” I ask, hoping a change of conversation will help bring things closer to normal. It does.
“Ooh! Those new additions to the warp matrix Billups designed,” she says excitedly. This is how things should be. Just us: the rest of the restaurant -the universe- doesn’t matter.
Soon we’re chatting with the ease of our everyday life, like we do in the tubes. Talking about everything and nothing. It seems silly that we spent so long today being awkward when we could’ve acted like normal and still been a couple.
No, not been. Acted like. There’s still a difference.
But a small voice in my mind tells me there isn’t.
. . .
I’m actually having fun again. Tendi tells her favourite mitochondria joke; she’s told it to me probably thirty times but somehow I find it funnier every time. Of course we’re doing this as colleagues. Why would I think otherwise?
“Hello again, you two love birds.” We both jump, my hand falling above Tendis. I quickly sit up straighter, feeling like a kid caught slacking off by his teacher.
“Hi Parth,” Tendi manages, her voice sounding strained. I feel the same way.
He begins to ask us about our food, but suddenly rushes away to another couple. Then he starts yelling at them, alarms go off, and they are carried away by officers almost before I can react. Tendi gasps, and I suck air in through my teeth, gripping her hand tighter. Her eyes snap to mine, and I wonder if the look of utter horror and despair on her face matches mine.
So, it looks like we have higher stakes than we thought.
Parth comes back and apologises, and we pretend like it’s fine. It’s really not; we’re both completely panicking here. But he can’t know that, for obvious reasons.
I really don’t want to be sentenced to any sub-aquatic sulfur mines today. Shouldn’t Ransom have warned us about this?
He asks what’s wrong once he sees the frightened expressions on our faces. As a cover up, Tendi yells out; “we are more in love than ever before!”
I respond with some ridiculous pet name and we try to smile and look convincing.
With anyone else it would be fine. I know I could pretend like this and it wouldn’t be weird. But I’m freaking out because it’s Tendi and she’s so smart and pretty and perfect. And I don’t want to make her uncomfortable because she’s my best friend and I would do anything for her. But I can’t pretend because I’m with her.
And actually, no, anyone else wouldn’t be fine, because it wouldn’t be her. And the problem is also that it is her, because I can’t be normal around her.
Our hug-cierge snaps me out of my spiral remarking “you two don’t look very… in love. What’s wrong?” And maybe he meant to sound concerned, but it’s coming off as quite condescending.
“Nothing!” We both yell at the exact same time. We’re always so in tune with each other that sometimes it causes even more problems, like right now.
Parth looks at us, suspicious. He narrows his eyes at Tendi, then me. “You two aren’t faking as well, are you?”
We glance at each other, terrified. He caught us. We didn’t even know we were doing anything criminal!
“I didn’t expect this from Star-fleet.” He bellows, making us jump.
“No!” I assure him, “we’re not lying!”
“No of course not!” Tendi joins in. She sounds even more convincing than I expected. She briefly meets my eye, then looks away, blushing slightly. Huh. I wonder what that means.
“Well,” he says, amused by our insistence, “why don’t you prove it?” He knows he has us cornered, his tone mocking.
“How?” Asks Tendi, her voice wobbly. I don’t think I really want to know the answer. Surely he wouldn’t-
“You two have to kiss!”
No!
“Then you can show us you really do love each other,” Parth says smugly.
I definitely do like Tendi, but I can’t do this, not here. My implant kindly informs me my heart rate has risen to 150 beats per minute. Tendi is blushing even brighter, fiddling a napkin between her fingers, and her body temperature is almost 2 degrees higher than is normal for an Orion.
She gulps, then finds her voice again. “Isn’t there something else we can do?”
“Nope, this is standard business practice on Ferenginar,” Party helpfully informs us, still staring us down.
The security guards edge closer.
Tendi looks at me nervously. Her eyes dart away again before settling back on mine.
So, we’re really doing this.
I can’t say I haven’t wanted to, of course I have, but not like this! We’ll just do it quickly, then get back on the ship and pretend it never happened.
But then I look at her, gazing at me shyly, blushing more than ever, and I don’t think it will be that easy.
She looks absolutely stunning in that sparkly black dress. I said she looked captivating, and that’s true now more than ever. I quite literally can’t take my eyes off her. She stares at me with her gorgeous green eyes, apprehensive but decided. We’re doing this.
She begins to lean in, slowly, and I follow, letting her lead. She probably has more experience than me anyway, after my memories got wiped. But I don’t want to think of that now, not when her face is closer than ever, eyes still boring into mine.
But then we both stop, as if there’s a solid wall between us. My heart is pounding at rates I can’t calculate, faces millimetres apart, and I’m staring deep into her eyes, hoping they’ll tell me what to do next.
I’m only peripherally aware of the restaurant holding its breath as we forcefully confront this thing I’ve wanted to do ever since I woke up from my coma.
And then she leans in quickly, giving neither of us time to back away. I think she intended to pull away just as quick, but she stops. Just for a moment, she’s frozen. And I don’t pull away either, both of us jumping headfirst into something new and terrifying. Together.
Then she starts to move and I’m petrified she’ll pull away, not look me in the eyes, and insist it was only because we had to. But she doesn’t. Ever so excruciatingly slowly she tilts her head to the side, both of us holding our breaths in anticipation of whatever it is we’re about to do. My lungs begin to burn, our lips barely touching, fiery as my head starts pounding.
Then she sighs and kisses me slowly. Deeply. Her hand twists over so it’s holding mine, and I realise Orions actually are much warmer than humans as she practically melts against me, or maybe it’s just the product of her deeply adorable blush. My mouth opens slightly and I begin to kiss back.
Our mouths move together as naturally as our words do, freely flowing; an exchange. It’s equal, both of us giving all we can.
She lifts a shaky hand, bringing mine along to her face where she rests it on her cheek. I’m enchanted. I want nothing more than her here with me, exploring, savouring this perfect moment together.
We finally break apart after certainly not nearly enough time, my elbows resting on the table as I’m leant towards her. The rest of the restaurant doesn’t seem that important anymore.
She looks away quickly, and I’m scared she’ll run away, never talk to me again, but then she locks eyes with me again, gaze deep and meaningful. “Do you wanna get out of here?”
It’s barely a question, I think, as I whisper “please.”