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I push the base’s door open harder than I need to, trying to ignore the frustrated tension thrumming through my body. I squeeze the rolled up target paper in my hand, trying to forget just how wide the spread is. I thought going to the range on my way to the N109 zone would boost my confidence and get me out of this funk. Instead, I couldn’t even get my hands to stay steady, and it’s the worst grouping I’ve ever posted.
So of course I’m carrying it around with me. All my scores at the Association range are digitally tracked so I can measure my progress. The range on the edge of the N109 zone was old school, so this paper is the only record of my failure. I should burn it, but that feels like cheating.
Sylus is lounging in a leather armchair in the sitting room, soft classical music flowing from the record player. I walk over and slump into the couch near him with a sigh.
He glances up from the intel report in his hands, eyes skimming me. “You look less like a cat today and more like what the cat dragged in.”
I roll my eyes. “Can’t you come up with something more clever to say?” I lean over to bop him on the head with the rolled up target paper.
I’m too slow—his hand finds the paper midair and he yanks it out of my grasp, unfurling it.
“Wait, no—”
“Kitten, this is abysmal.”
A sudden wave of emotion rises in my chest, tears prickling in my eyes. I hold my breath to try to keep it at bay, hating myself for the sudden weakness, but the scolding words from Sylus cut straight to the core of my insecurity.
I turn away, trying to hide the tears welling in my eyes, biting my cheek to get myself back under control.
I hear Sylus shift behind me, and a moment later, his warm arms are around me as he settles next to me on the couch. “Kitten, what’s the matter?”
I can’t hold back the tears anymore, and I lean into his warmth as they come. As much as his words stung, I know he didn’t mean it like that, especially with his steady warmth around me. He tucks my cheek against his shoulder, stroking my hair.
“You can cry as much as you need,” he says softly. “I’m here.”
Finally, the tears pass and I take a shuddering breath.
“Did someone bully you today?”
I shake my head. “No… I’m just overreacting.”
His tone is careful, gentle as he asks, “Is it something I said?”
I shake my head again.
“You can tell me, kitten.”
“It’s nothing… I don’t want you to feel bad…”
“Sweetheart, I can handle it. Just be honest.”
I take a deep breath and search for the words. “It’s just been… a really shit day. I went to the range to blow off some steam and get back into my rhythm and, well… you saw how that went.”
“Mm, so my words hit a nerve. I’m sorry, kitten.”
“You don’t have to be sorry, usually I don’t mind it when you tease me…” I sigh, wiping the tears from my cheeks. A tissue box floats over, carried on a tendril of red-black mist, and I pull a tissue out and blow my nose, feeling pathetic. “I think I’m due to start my period… it’s stupid…”
“You’re not stupid,” he says, also pulling out a tissue and using it to dry my cheeks.
“I should be able to handle it.”
“It’s a lot, kitten.” He cradles my face in his hand, concern in his expression. “Are you sure there’s not more you want to say? I can handle you being angry at me. I do deserve it, from time to time.”
“You could have at least pretended my grouping wasn’t so bad,” I mutter, trying to find some levity again.
Sylus lets out a soft laugh. “I don’t think you want me to lie to you, kitten. But how about… assuring you that even if you have a bad day—or a bad week—I don’t think any less of you.”
My eyes find his, tears threatening to overtake me again. I didn’t realize how much I needed to hear those words until he said them. “Really?” I breathe.
“Really.” He tucks my head against his chest, holding me close. “When you have bad days, I’ll be here for you.”
I don’t know quite why that opens the floodgates, but my tears return and I sob against his chest. He holds me, gently rubbing my back and tucking my hair out of the way of my tears. Finally, my breathing returns to normal and I reach for the box of tissues again.
“Sorry,” I mutter.
“I think I should be saying that. I didn’t mean to make you cry again.”
“I know, I… It was a good kind of cry. I… I’m used to handling things by myself, I guess. I don’t want to burden you.”
“You’ve never been a burden to me. And you shouldn’t have had to deal with things by yourself for so long.”
I snuggle into his chest. “But you’ve had to deal with things by yourself, haven’t you?”
He’s quiet for a long moment, and by his steady breathing, I can tell he’s thinking. “When I was young… at first, I had people who were there for me. Then, I lost them… but someone else came into my life. They taught me a lot. And… even when I’ve been alone, I’ve always had those memories. So it’s a bit different.”
I think about his words, mind searching them for meaning. Is he talking about his family? Someone he knew before? In the N109 zone? Or even before the Chronorift Catastrophe? Trying to imagine Sylus before the N109 zone feels… strange.
“I had Grandma,” I offer, feeling uncomfortable to be getting so much sympathy that I don’t feel like I deserve.
Sylus is quiet another long moment. “Sometimes, despite their best efforts… people aren’t able to prioritize your needs in the way you deserve. So you get used to living without things you should have.”
The words fill me with a strange emotion, and I let it sink in. Grandma took good care of me, but… I guess I did always feel bad asking for too much help. There was always a lot going on. Caleb getting into trouble, exams, extracurriculars… And then she got so sick. When I was nervous about the hunter’s exam, I didn’t want her to worry too, so I assured her that it’d be a piece of cake. But maybe it would have been nice to have someone hold me like this and tell me that it would be alright…
I cling tighter to Sylus’s chest, suddenly distrusting that this is reality. Perhaps it’s just a comforting dream. Would Onychinus’s leader truly go out of his way to help me with my problems?
Sylus pulls out his phone. “Let’s see… Peach boba… a few blind boxes… that limited edition plushie you had your eye on…”
I lift my head and glance at his phone. “What are you doing?”
“Fixing your bad day. You’re worried you’ll be a burden, and here you have no idea just how easy it is to cheer you up.”
My brow furrows.
Sylus drops his fingers to my chin and tips my pouting expression up towards him. “Now, what is this frown for? Be honest.”
I glance away and sigh, but there’s no use denying Sylus. “The way you say that makes me sound… childish. Like my problems are silly if they can be solved that easily.”
He cups my cheek in his warm palm, then runs his fingers through my hair. “Your problems aren’t silly. It’s just that you’re a very strong person. How else would you be so good at finding the joy in such little things?”
Warmth blossoms through my chest. Sylus’s words surprise me, sinking deeper than his stinging remark did earlier, soothing all my inner hurt like a gentle salve. “I never thought of it like that…”
“I can also take you back to the range and help you get a perfect grouping again.”
Gratitude overflowing in my heart, I lean back and plant a kiss on his cheek. “Thank you. Maybe later. For now… boba and blind boxes sound pretty good.”
“What about a movie while we wait? That one you were eyeing is streaming now.”
“The children’s movie? I can’t believe you’d watch that willingly.”
“Oh, I won’t be. I can’t take my eyes off of you anyway.” His thumb brushes over my brow, washing away the rest of my tension, and I tuck my arms around him hugging tight.
An hour later, I’m sipping bubble tea, hugging my new plushie, and surrounded by the discarded wrappings of the blind boxes. I didn’t get the super rare, but I still feel inordinately lucky, especially as I lean back against Sylus’s chest. He’s watching the movie after all.
The villain starts his monologue.
Sylus scoffs and rolls his eyes. “Do they have to make it so obvious?”
“I mean, it is for children.”
“I’m not sure that teaching children that bad people will state their motives outright is so wise.”
I glance up at his face, and his frown seems genuine. I laugh at his seriousness, and his gaze softens as he looks down at me.
“Maybe it’s just that society likes to take people who are willing to state their desires plainly and calls them ‘villains’,” I offer.
He pulls me a little closer. “Hmm.”
“Sometimes villains are the best characters.”
“This one’s an idiot,” he says with a sigh. “He could have already completed his plan if he just stopped talking.”
“Yeah, some villains are bumbling. I guess it puts people at ease. But the best villains are cunning and smart and ruthless and handsome… and have a soft spot for cats.”
He kisses my cheek from behind. “What fairy tales have you been watching?”
I take a long drink from my boba and shrug. “Something about a crow and a queen…”
His voice goes soft as he plants another kiss on my temple. “Some day I’ll tell you about the dragon and the sorceress.”
“Hmmm, I’d like that…” I pull Sylus’s hand across my chest and brush my fingers along the back of his hand as we continue watching the movie.
I gasp at the twist just as he mutters “Predictable,” and when the credits finally roll with an upbeat pop song, I’m drowsy in his arms.
“So, kitten. Is it still a terrible day?”
“Nope,” I say confidently, nuzzling into him. “It’s pretty good now.”
“Just ‘pretty good’? I’ll have to work harder.”
“Taking a day from ‘terrible’ to ‘pretty good’ is an excellent accomplishment, to be clear.”
“Alright, I’ll take it.”
“Thank you,” I say, pouring all my sincerity into my tone. “For cheering me up. It really helped.”
His warmth wraps around me, and I really, truly believe it when he says, “Any time, kitten.”