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Fyodor was tranquilly walking outside, a rare sight in fact, he decided that he’ve been spreading too much disinformation on the internet, now he decided to touch grass.
But that peace wasn’t for too long when a random bird arrived, and said
Random alpha male bird: I’ll be the one soloing you
Fyodor looked at the bird with his signature turtle smile, standing just like a child who’s about to tell his mom he threw up
Fyodor: By my farthest predicament, my IQ is over PI digits which mean I shan’t pass away because of a bird
The bird asserted its male alpha dominance by stealing Fyodor’s iron supplements
Fyodor: WHAT- ?! HOW DARE THOU HINDER ME WHILST I WAS CONNECTING WITH NATURE TO MERGE WITH THIS GREEN THING NAMED GRASS !!
Fyodor couldn’t survive any longer without his iron supplements, he felt anemia kicking in, he tried to get up but fell like a failed pancake
He was dying babygirly
But then, something weird happened, he found himself flying…
Fyodor: Did I just transformed into a bird…?
Nikolai: BIRDIE COME HERE
Nikolai caught the birdie with overcoat
Nikolai: Fedushya now where do you think you’re going ? You know I like birds right ?
Fyodor said nothing, knowing probably what he could expect from the jester…
Nikolai:SIGMA ! STIGMA ! SIGNAL ! SIGBALLS ! LIGBALLS ! MABALLS ! ALPHA BALLS !
Sigma: Nikolai do you see what’s in the sky…?
Nikolai: Fyodor trying to rip out his bird wings ?
Sigma: No my will to live flying away
Fyodor made cute bird sounds to express his disapproval of the situation, after all, wasn’t he supposed to be a rodent ?
Few days later, things were strangely calm, no bird sounds were heard
Sigma: Nikolai ? I don’t hear the bird anymore ? Where is he ?
Nikolai: I ate it
Sigma: Nikolai please tell me you’ve gotta be joking…
Nikolai: I had to kill it to prove myself I could be free from my love of birds and Fyodor ! I BERNADETTED MY LAST LIBERTY ! I’LL CELEBRATE THE DAY THAT IT CHANGED MY HISTORY !
Sigma looked at Nikolai with the most bombastic fisheye angle he’s ever done, he was so fisheyed that he started transforming into a fish
Nikolai: Guess that’s not fish and chips anymore but FISH AND BIRDS !
Nikolai started to cook the fish sigma became, he sliced it in half with a pro cooker knife, preheated the oven, added some spices to the fish, and cooked it.
Nikolai: Yummy Sigma fish
He also remembered that he had leftovers of Atsushi leg, he put it in a blunder and seasoned the fish with it.