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It was late at night, when Gi-Hun still wasn't sleeping. He was buried in his own thoughts, and feelings. Insatiability, pain, and inevitable guilt were like a blunt blade, slowly cutting his insides. He wanted to save everyone, but he failed. He couldn't be found by his allies, he couldn't do anything - people still wanted to Play those games, and some of them were so desperate that they could kill for that. It's only a matter of time before they will freak out completely, he thought to himself, while trying to collect his mind.
“Sorry, you're not sleeping, are you?”
Gi-Hun turned his head to the source of the voice, raising his eyebrows, his gaze softened when he saw Young-il.
“I'm far from sleeping, actually.”
He said.
Young-il was standing on the lower platform of their base. He came closer to Gi-Hun, and leaned on the floor Gi-Hun was sitting on.
“I don't blame you now for staying up so late, but I will blame you tomorrow if you die out of tiredness.”
Young-il said jokingly, and smiled.
“I feel like sleeping here would make me more tired than staying up.”
“Was that your strategy to win earlier?”
“Not really.”
Gi-Hun looked away, the corners of his lips slightly moved up. Suddenly, he felt a light nudge in his knee.
“Do you have any plans?”
“There’s nothing we can do. I thought we could get out of here, that I could get everyone from here, and destroy those games, people behind it, and… Why are you laughing?”
His gaze turned to Young-il, who chuckled to himself.
“I’m not asking about that. I’m asking about the world outside.”
“Oh, I see.” Gi-Hun sighed “I really wish I could see my daughter. I haven't seen her in years.”
“And why is that?”
“Divorce.” Gi-Hun answered after a moment of hesitation. “She and her mother moved out to the United States.”
Young-il nodded his head, but didnt say anything. The silence was so peaceful, he was too scared to break it. In fact, they both were. Gi-Hun closed his eyes, and took a deep breath. His chest moved, his body relaxed. And Young-il was paying attention to those things, like nothing else before. He titled his head, he smiled. It was the first time when he saw him like this - calm, without any fear, madness, or pain.
After a while, Young-il jumped on the platform Gi-Hun was sitting on, so he could be next to him.
“I really hope you’ll see your daughter soon.”
They looked at each other.
“I wish you the same.”
If he only knew what actually happened. If only Young-il could tell him, if only In-Ho could explain everything to him, it all would be easier.
He wished he could change his plans, he wished he could want to change them. But the pain inside him was something he was not able to fight. His mind was filled with thoughts, and with images of this one, specific smile. Gi-Hun wanted to put an end, to all of it - to games, and to him, the frontman. It was his duty to stop him, and he knew that he would, he wanted to stop him, that was his goal.
If only they met under different circumstances, things would be different. If only.
“Gi-Hun, if we get out of here…”
Suddenly, he felt something on his shoulder. Gi-Hun leaned on him with his head, and he fell asleep. Young-il smiled, and then he realised what he was trying to say.
He didn't even think of it, he just let those words come out of his mouth. He chuckled. It was a mess, and it affected him.
Young-il leaned against the wall, and closed his eyes.
If only everything was different.