Work Text:
The rain was falling on Yokohama streets, the sky with a dark shade of grey, seemed to announce baneful events, the thunder sounding like a disaster.
For Dazai, it was a normal day. It could have been a normal day, after all, killing people was to him, a task as simple as buying bread. He knew well that his dear friend, Oda, that he affectionately nicknamed Odasaku, had the principle of never killing anyone, even though it contradicted with being a Mafioso. Though, Dazai wasn’t very fond of moral. He thought that such values couldn’t fill the void, nor changing his nihilistic view of the world. Even when he was near death during his suicide attempts, he didn’t felt he was dying.
He felt nothing strong while being in the Port Mafia, all the praise his received from being “the Demon Prodigy”, all of these were just mere titles he earned during is time in the mafia.
He was loading his gun while heading towards the location, an abandoned place with moldy broken walls, his expression was stoic, his expression didn’t looked like the one that someone has before killing someone, his eyes looked empty as usual.
After walking for 5 other minutes, he finally arrived, and just stayed still waiting for his target to come as planned. He suddenly noticed a shadow
Standing near the door,
“This is the guy Mori talked about” He thought, as he noticed him, he pulled out his gun and make sure to carefully not miss him.
Blood was spilling on the dusty concrete. Did he really killed him ? There was blood, yet he knew that something was wrong, he noticed that the guy he wanted to shoot quickly managed to escape.
So why was there blood on the concrete ? Who did he shot ?
He walked towards the huge blood spot, and noticed a corpse…
His eyes widened with shock as he realized what he has done, he spoke with a broken voice as he knelt down near Oda’s corpse
“Odasaku ! Please answer ! H-how could I have done that…?” He shut his eyes
Odasaku was laying on the ground, he was warmly smiling, “Seems like you missed your target…I know you didn’t meant to shot me…I know it because I’m your friend…And…You should know this yourself. No matter whether you’re on the side of killing people or saving people, there will never be anything that can surpass your mind. There is no place in this world that can fill your loneliness. You will linger in the darkness forever.” his voice was raspy, he was slowly emptying from his blood.
Dazai was now shouting at him “Yoyre right about that ! But stop speaking you’re worsening your case ! If you were to die I’ll never forgive myself !”
Odasaku held Dazai head, “Listen to me Dazai…” Oda wanted to tell him to quit the mafia, to become a better person and help the orphans, that he could find light in the dark void, yet, he couldn’t bring himself to say a word, the loss of blood take a huge toll on him…
Oda smiled genuinely to him while his eyes were shutting, thus, rending his last sigh, while taking off bandages from his right eye.
He was staring blankly at the corpse, motionless, though, a pang of grief and guilt swirled up within him.
He had an appointment with Mori, after what occurred, he didn’t wanted to go, yet, he has to…
He entered in Mori’s office, he noticed that he has a wide smile, Mori looked at Dazai with his usual sharp look, and proudly said
“You did some good work Dazai”
As Mori said that, Dazai felt a pang of anger, but decided it was useless to show it, and nonchalantly said “I missed the target and killed Oda instead”
The words sounded bitter to his mouth, yet, he looked so nonchalant about it, maybe to hide the fact that he could break down at any moment.
Mori hypocritically smiled and say with cause gentleness “That’s why I’m saying you did a good job…”
Suddenly, Dazai eyes widened, as he realized that this “accidental” assassination was entirely orchestrated by him, he looked at him with a look as dark as a night sky, he looked like he was ready to slit his throat at any moment, he spoke with a bitter tone
“I killed my friend…and you’re saying that this “accident” was all made by you…? Of course you’ll be the type to do that…”
Mori spoke with a sarcastic tone, bordering on slight annoyance “Well…is there a problem Dazai…? You know well that the mafia is up to everything…You were maybe…too attached to Oda…If i organized everything so precisely to make you accidentally shoot him, it was for a good reason…Even though it was accidental you can’t deny it…you killed him…”
Dazai felt his heart clenching, he knew how cunning and heartless Mori was, he shouldn’t be surprised by those words, yet the words “you killed him” were stuck in loop inside his head, he couldn’t escape his thoughts.
Mori seemed to be more amused, he spoke with a belittling tone “Well Dazai ? Aren’t you the “Demon prodigy” ? Now you just seem like you lost your tongue”
Dazai didn’t bothered speaking further with him, he left without saying a word, before being surrounded by two armed men, he then say with a confident tone
“You won’t shoot me here Mori”
Mori glanced quickly at him, before saying “Yes you’re right…I won’t waste such a potential”
As Dazai walked out Mori office, the realization of what happened finally hit him harder than expected. He killed Oda. He shoot him, even if he didn’t meant to, the direst was done. The self-loathing he felt after this was too strong.
He was sitting on a high building, his thoughts as violent as the wind.
How could he ever live while bearing this guilt ?
He couldn’t. That was the answer.
This time, it seemed that he didn’t failed comically his suicide attempt.