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Being in the mortal world with Vivi always makes me feel like I don’t belong. Being there with Cardan……. Well that is just plain amusement. Vivi is always so surprised when he is like “So what are those mortals doing over there”, then proceeds to point at people in hammocks. I just stand there smothering my laughing as she stands there aghast with the realization that he is like a baby being introduced into the world for the first time. A much older and powerful, baby. So when we visit Heather and Vivi we always have to go over the rules with Cardan:
1. Never say the word mortal (this one is broken every time).
2. Never talk to another person other than Heather, Vivi, Taryn, and me.
3. Don’t drink while were there (its easier to have him summon the ragwort horses and while I can do it I prefer don’t dragging a drunk Cardan through the castle).
Really if we let Cardan out of sight he’ll be fine but there always is a chance…
When we got to the house Taryn was there already there. That was unusual but on the whole not unexpected since Vivi had asked Cardan and I to come over for a big announcement. As we stood in then living room making idle chat with Taryn we listened to a mix of Oliva Rodrigo and Taylor Swift:
I can hold my breath
I've been doing it since he left
I keep finding his things in drawers
Crucial evidence, I didn't imagine the whole thing
I'm sure I can pass this test (one, two, three, four)
'Cause I'm a real tough kid, I can handle my shit
They said, "Babe, you gotta fake it 'til you make it" and I did
Lights, camera, bitch smile, in stilettos for miles
He said he'd love me for all time
But that time was quite short
Breaking down, I hit the floor
All the pieces of me shattered as the crowd was chanting, "More"
I was grinning like I'm winning, I was hitting my marks
'Cause I can do it with a broken heart (one, two, three)
(I can do it with a broken heart by Taylor Swift)
Right as Vivi and Heather come in with the snack trays Cardan asks, “Who sings this?”
Vivi literally drops the tray, and her hands come up to her mouth. Heather smirks and starts cleaning up the mess.
He looks confused and turns to me “Did I say something wrong?”
“This is Taylor Swift and according to Vivi only the greatest person of all time.”
Vivi shoots back saying “You only think that because you are a Livie.”
Cardan turns to me again, confused “A what??”
“Livie. Fans of Oliva Rodrigo are called Livies.”
“Oh” was his only response.
Heather who had now finished cleaning up Vivi’s mess said, “now are you ready for the big news??”
Taryn who had yet to speak responded with the enthusiasm Heather wanted.
Heather took a deep breath and put her hands on her stomach “Well we’ve been looking for a sperm donor for a long time and well we’ve found one that has great health history and long story short… I am pregnant!”
Vivi was jumping up and down with exactment. Taryn ran over there and took her hands “If you ever need any help or anything tell me. I can help you with settling in because it was hard for me and Leander.”
Cardan and I go over there to congratulate Heather and Vivi. I start with “Congratulations! I just” Cardan interrupted me “Are you going to name the baby Swiftie?”
I turn to him aghast “Dude no she’s not. Being a Swiftie means that you like her music especially, it doesn’t mean that you are sacrificing your first born to her.”
“Oh, so is the babies name going to be called Livie?”
“OH MY GOD CARDAN”
“So, it's not going to be named that?”
I turned to Heather and Vivi “Sorry for this. Congratulations. I would tell you to come to me except I know nothing about being pregnant so go to Taryn, but I am excited for you! This is great news!! Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some business in educating my husband about.”
They laugh as I chase him out of the room.
O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O
*A couple days later*
Cardan was taking a bath, so I was waiting patiently outside the bathroom wanting to grab some cosmetics. When I remembered that Elfhame didn’t care about nakedness and, he was my husband.
I walked in not even looking at him. But I did hear what he was singing. It was Taylor Swift.
I don't like your little games
Don't like your tilted stage
The role you made me play of the fool
No, I don't like you
I don't like your perfect crime
How you laugh when you lie
You said the gun was mine
Isn't cool, no, I don't like you (oh!)
But I got smarter, I got harder in the nick of time
Honey, I rose up from the dead, I do it all the time
I got a list of names, and yours is in red, underlined
I check it once, then I check it twice, oh!
Ooh, look what you made me do
Look what you made me do
(look what you made me do by taylor swift)
I turn to him surprised. “Really?? I mean she’s good but I-I thought that you would prefer Oliva.”
“Darling. Really? Taylor is dramatic. And Oliva is angry. I think they reflect perfectly on our personalities.” Then he smirked and submerged himself.