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I fucked up, Jongin thought as he slammed the door of his luxurious house shut with a hard push of his hands. The sound was so loud it echoed through the empty porch and for a moment he couldn’t believe he did that.

Where did all this anger come from? It was there for a few weeks now, simmering and burning underneath his skin like it was his own blood. He felt like a ticking bomb and now he exploded and he was scared of his own actions. He almost sounds like…

Jongin’s stomach dropped, feeling cold and empty and he wanted to throw up. What the fuck was wrong with him? Why was he being such an asshole to his fiance? To the love of his life?

The night was cold and his breath came out in small white puffs of smoke when he left the warmth of his own home, walking down the streets with fast, big steps. He just wanted to run, he wanted to hide somewhere, he wanted to be anywhere but home right now, afraid he might just take all his anger out on Sehun and that was the last thing he wanted to do. It was his fault.

Everything was his fault.

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his coat, his head hanging low as he made his way through the busy streets. People were everywhere and it made him feel suffocated. They were talking and laughing and Jongin couldn’t even bring a fake smile onto his face, feeling nothing but emptiness and sorrow inside his heart.

After taking a small walk in the near park, his phone rang in the pocket of his coat. With a small sigh, he took it out and looked at the display, his heart picking up its pace when he saw it was Chanyeol calling. 

Fuck. Chanyeol was the last person he wanted to talk to right now. It’s not like Jongin wasn’t expecting Chanyeol to call him. In fact, he was dreading this call, knowing how overprotective Chanyeol was over Sehun.

With a deep sigh, he accepted the call and put the device next to his ear.

“Hello?” he said.

“You have ten minutes to explain why Sehun called me bawling his eyes out and don’t you fucking dare lie to me, Kim.” Chanyeol practically growled from the other side. 

Jongin winced and held the phone tighter against his ear, walking slower as he started feeling the guilt creep up inside of him, like he was caught red handed.

He swallowed hard, feeling the lump in his throat grow larger. “Chanyeol…” His voice cracked slightly, shame and regret lacing his words. “I… I didn’t mean for it to go this far. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.”

Chanyeol scoffed. “Yeah, well, actions speak louder than words, Jongin. For how long you’ve been leaving Sehun in the dust now?

Jongin closed his eyes. A shiver ran through his body, one that had nothing to do with the cold weather. He wrapped his arms around himself, feeling as if he was being pulled under by some invisible force. He didn’t want to think about how Sehun had felt, abandoned and alone.

“I know.” He whispered, his voice trembling slightly. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean for this to happen.”

Jongin didn’t know what to say, what he could possibly tell Chanyeol that would make it all better. Chanyeol wasn’t even there, he couldn’t understand how much Jongin regretted his actions, how it felt like he was trapped, feeling as if he couldn’t breathe with all these emotions that were flooding inside him.

He heard a heavy sigh on the other end, then silence.

“Jongin, what the fuck are you doing?” Chanyeol’s voice was quiet and strained. “Why are you doing this? Don’t you see how much it’s hurting him?”

“I know.” Jongin repeated. “I know, Chanyeol, I just…” He trailed off, not knowing what to say.

“You need to get yourself some help. You need to go to therapy or something. You can’t keep doing this.” Chanyeol said. 

Memories of a painful childhood rushed through him as he clenched his teeth, not wanting to recall it, but his brain wouldn’t cooperate and he couldn’t stop the memories from flooding through him. He tried to deny it, tried to lie to himself and push those thoughts to the back of his mind but now it was impossible to pretend they never existed. The dark memories that kept haunting him made him feel guilty.

“I know.” Jongin whispered for the third time. 

Of course he knew, but he was too hot headed, too busy to think of his own well-being. He was busy trying to achieve what he thought he was supposed to do and he never noticed his fiance falling apart behind the scenes. He never even paid attention to Sehun, who was always smiling, trying his best to be a good fiance.

Jongin squeezed his eyes shut and held his breath, feeling the lump in his throat become unbearable.

He knew he fucked up.

The wind picked up as the two remained silent on the phone, the silence broken by Chanyeol’s quiet breathing.

“Jongin.” Chanyeol’s voice pierced through his thoughts, snapping him out of his reverie. “You have to make a decision. Either you pull your head out of your ass and get your act together, or you let Sehun go.”

Jongin’s eyes widened. That wasn’t a decision he wanted to make. He didn’t want to lose Sehun. Not him. Never. His hands were shaking and he clenched his teeth, squeezing his eyes shut. The feeling of dread washed over him again and he felt the cold from outside seep through his coat, making him shiver.

“Chanyeol, please, don’t-”

“No, you need to face reality, Kim! You need to wake up. Don’t make the same mistakes again. Don’t turn into that man.” Chanyeol interrupted him, his voice harsh, sounding angry and worried.

Jongin wanted to tell him to shut up, he wanted to shout at him to stop talking but he couldn’t. All he did was stand there in the middle of the streets and take in the words. It wasn’t like he never considered it before, but to hear those words made him feel so vulnerable, as if the last defense he had built around himself had come crashing down.

He felt like a small boy, too young to know what to do.

His hand gripped the phone tightly, the words of his best friend echoing in the background.

He felt suffocated. He felt sick.

I am not him. I can’t be. I–

“Do I really sound like him?” He choked out, his voice quiet and strained. “I’m not him, Chanyeol. I don’t want to be like him. I–”

There was silence on the other end, but Chanyeol’s breathing was still there, loud in his ear. It made him feel even more panicked, making his breathing grow quicker, his heart beating faster. 

“Then stop hurting Sehun, Jongin.” Chanyeol said.

Chanyeol’s voice sounded softer. It didn’t seem like a threat anymore and it made it even worse.

Jongin didn’t reply.

There was a quiet sigh. “Sehun loves you. Is the only reason why I haven’t come over there and beaten the shit out of you. Because despite everything, he still trusts you.”

For every word that Chanyeol spoke Jongin felt his heart sink further. He didn’t want to cause any more pain, didn’t want to see Sehun cry. He was falling apart at the seams and there was no one left to put him back together.

“I love him too.” Jongin whispered.

“Then show it. Make things right between you two.”

Then, the line went dead.

Jongin lowered the phone from his ear, staring at the black screen in silence. He was lost, completely and utterly lost. There were so many feelings inside of him that he didn’t know how to process them, how to put them all together into one.

He was angry and upset, sad and regretful, he felt like shit and he was scared and he wanted to cry, but he couldn’t. His feet started moving without him even realizing it and he was walking through the city, heading towards the place he called his home.

He just hoped Sehun would be there, that he wasn’t running away and leaving him behind.

࿏

The apartment was dark when Jongin returned. The living room was empty, the only sound coming from the hum of the refrigerator in the kitchen. He moved quietly through the apartment, heading towards their bedroom. The door was slightly ajar, and as he pushed it open, he saw Sehun curled up under the covers.

Sehun looked so small, so fragile. He was sleeping on his side, his body tucked tightly against the sheets. His hair was tousled, his cheeks were wet and his eyes were swollen from crying.

Jongin’s chest tightened. He couldn’t believe he was the cause of his lover’s pain. Slowly and carefully, he slipped off his shoes and removed his jacket. He didn’t even change. All he wanted was to press his body to Sehun’s. To feel the warmth of his skin and the beat of his heart.

He climbed into bed behind his fiance, pulling the blankets around him and wrapped his arms around Sehun’s waits. Sehun stirred, his eyes fluttering open.

“Jongin?” He whispered, his voice hoarse.

“I’m here, baby,” he said softly, placing a gentle kiss on Sehun’s cheek. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry.”

Sehun didn’t say anything. He simply sighed and buried his face in his pillow.

They stayed like that for a while, just basking in the silence that enveloped them. It made Jongin nervous, how silent and tense Sehun was, how his fiance hadn’t even bothered to turn around to look at him. He’d expected more shouting, crying and yelling, maybe even some slaps and punches. But the silence was worse. It was unbearable.

“Sehun.” Jongin whispered.

“Go away, Jongin.” Sehun said harshly. 

Jongin winced at the cold tone of Sehun’s voice, but he didn’t move. He remained where he was, holding on tightly to his lover’s waist.

“Sehun, please. Let’s talk.” Jongin said desperately. 

“There’s nothing left to talk about.” Sehun said.

“There is. I need to explain-”

“You’ve already explained, Jongin. I’ve heard it all before. The excuses, the promises. I’m done.” Sehun snapped, his voice breaking.

“Please.” Jongin squeezed Sehun’s waist, pressing his lips against the bare skin peaking out from his navy blue t-shirt. He kissed his shoulder, his neck and then his cheek. “I’ll make it up to you, I promise. I’ll make everything right.”

Sehun stayed silent. Jongin could feel his heart beating rapidly and furiously that it worried him. He could feel Sehun’s whole body tremble, as if he was fighting with himself to keep calm.

“How many times have I heard these words?” Sehun whispered. His voice trembled with tears. “How many times have you told me you’d fix things? How many times have you promised you’d change, only to break my heart all over again?”

“This time is different.” Jongin said, pressing his forehead to Sehun’s neck. He squeezed his eyes shut, holding Sehun tightly against him. He felt his heart break at the sight of his lover’s pain.

Sehun scoffed. “No, it isn’t. It’s the same old shit, the same old story. You’re always too busy with work, or with your colleagues, or with some other damn thing. I’m not important enough for you to give a damn about.”

“That’s not true.”

“Bullshit.”

“Sehun, please.” He tightened his grip on his fiancee, pulling him closer. “I’m sorry. I never meant to hurt you.”

Jongin was scared. He didn’t know what else he could say, what else he could do, to make Sehun understand. He had no excuse, no explanation. He had fucked up and there was no way to fix things.

This time, Sehun went completely still. Jongin would’ve thought he was asleep if it weren’t for the fact that his breathing was uneven. Sehun was in so much pain, his heart broken and his mind in disarray.

“Turn around.” Jongin said.

No response. Jongin observed Sehun’s back and noticed how the shirt hang loosely on his slender body. Something about how Sehun’s back seemed smaller than usual, the way his spine protruded out from his back, how the shoulder blades were too visible and how his fiancee’s arms were so thin. 

He caused this.

“Baby, please. Look at me.” Jongin pleaded.

Sehun’s body shook before curling up into a ball. His knees touched his chest, his head lowered and his arms wrapped around himself, as if trying to hide from the world. A loud sob escaped him, and Jongin couldn’t to anything other than watch helplessly. Then, Sehun turned around, so agonizingly slow it was almost torture for Jongin.

Upon seeing his face, Jongin realized something that made his heart clench painfully. Sehun had dark circles under his eyes that used to shine brightly with mischief and playfulness. His cheeks were sunken in, and his face was paler than usual. His fiance was thin and frail, as if he hadn’t been eating properly, and he looked sick.

Sehun looked broken. 

How come he never noticed these changes? How come he didn’t pay enough attention to the love of his life? How did he miss all the signs?

Jongin couldn’t breathe.

He didn’t realize how long they stared at each other, the tension thick and suffocating. The only thing he could think about was Sehun’s health and his well-being. 

“What have I done?” Jongin whispered. He reached out a shaking hand and gently cupped Sehun’s cheek. He stroked his thumb over the skin, brushing away the tears. “I’m so, so sorry, baby.” 

He leaned forward, placing a soft kiss on Sehun’s forehead. Sehun shuddered.

More tears rolled down Sehun’s face as he continued to pepper kisses all over Sehun’s face, whispering apologies against his skin. He kissed his nose, his chin, his neck, his jaw, his cheeks, his forehead. Anywhere he could reach. But Sehun’s sobs only grew stronger, as if his kisses brought him more pain.

“Please,” Sehun gasped, his voice hoarse and choked. “Please, stop.”

Jongin paused. His hands stilled, his lips pressed against the side of Sehun’s neck. He stayed like that for a moment, breathing deeply, letting his mind process what he’d just heard.

“I can’t,” Jongin whispered.

“Please.” Sehun said.

Jongin lifted his head, gazing down at Sehun’s tear-stained face. He could see the sadness in his eyes, the hurt, the despair.

He wanted to kiss it away, to take all his pain, but he couldn’t.

“I don’t want to lose you.” Jongin said, pain laced in every word.

He didn’t know why he said those words, but the moment they left his lips, his eyes stung and his vision blurred. He blinked furiously, trying to fight back the tears that threatened to fall.

Sehun looked up at him, his expression unreadable. Then, his eyes softened, his gaze filled with sorrow and regret.

“You already have.” He whispered.

Jongin felt as if the entire world came crashing down around him. The air rushed out of his lungs, leaving him breathless and dizzy. His chest ached, his heart hammering against his ribs, and his stomach churned violently. He was shaking, his body trembling uncontrollably.

He couldn’t believe what he’d just heard.

“Sehun.” Jongin started. 

Sehun turned his head away, avoiding his gaze. Sehun closed his eyes tightly, his face contorted in agony and grief.

“No.” Jongin shook his head in disbelief. “Sehun, look at me. Please.”

Every word that came out of Jongin’s mouth was desperate and pleading, and he knew they hurt Sehun. He could only watch as Sehun’s face crumbled and crumbled until he couldn’t hold it anymore. He put both of his hands on his eyes, the tears coming in rapid streams. He began to sob louder, the sound ripping through the silence. His entire body trembled with the force of his own cries.

Jongin wrapped his arms around Sehun’s torso, pulling him into a tight embrace. He buried his face in his fiancee’s hair, inhaling his scent, trying to calm the panic and fear that consumed him.

“Shhh.” He ran his fingers through Sehun’s locks. “It’s okay, baby. It’s okay. Everything will be okay.”

Jongin knew his words were empty and meaningless. He knew his promises meant nothing. But he couldn’t help but cling to the hope that they were true. Sehun sobbed harder. His body was wracked with shudders, his breathing erratic and unsteady. Jongin’s arms tightened around his fiance, refusing to let go.

“I’m so sorry.” Jongin whispered, his voice strained. “I’m so sorry. Please don’t leave me. I love you!”

Sehun buried his face in the crook of his neck, his sobs growing louder and stronger. He clung to him like a lifeline, holding on to him tightly. He pressed himself as close to Jongin as possible, their bodies flush against each other. They lay like that for what felt like hours, wrapped in each other’s embrace, as Sehun cried and cried and cried.

“It’s going to be okay.” Jongin wasn’t sure if he was saying it to himself or to his fiance. “We’ll figure something out. We’ll get through this, baby. I promise”

He pulled back a little, gazing down at his lover’s face. Sehun’s eyes were red and puffy, his cheeks were flushed, and his lips were swollen and wet. He was a complete mess, and it tore at Jongin’s heart.

Sehun didn’t meet his gaze.

Jongin pressed a soft kiss to his fiance’s cheek, then buried his face in his neck. He pressed his forehead to the soft skin, closing his eyes.

Sehun remained silent, but his hands moved to rest on his shoulder blades, holding him closer. It made him feel safe and warm. It gave him some hope, some comfort.

“I love you,” Jongin whispered again. “I love you so much, Sehun.”

He pulled back slightly, just enough so he could look at Sehun’s face. He wiped the tears away, but new ones quickly replaced them. He cupped his cheeks with both hands, kissing him softly on the lips. His lips were soft and warm, and Jongin kissed him gently, but Sehun didn’t kiss him back. He just closed his eyes, more tears falling. When he finally pulled back, Jongin pressed a final soft kiss to his Sehun’s cheek, then buried his face in his neck. 

They lay like that for a long time, their bodies pressed together, and fell asleep in each other’s arms.

࿏

The next morning, Jongin woke up with the other side of the bed empty. Panic rose within him. He sat up abruptly, his eyes scanning the room frantically. Where was Sehun? He jumped out of bed, and rushed out of the bedroom, calling his fiance’s name.

“Sehun!” Jongin called.

He searched the living room, the kitchen, the bathroom, the guest bedroom, the office, every corner of the apartment, but he couldn’t find him. Jongin’s mind started racing, his heart pounding painfully. Where the hell did he go? What happened? Did he finally decide to leave him?

“Sehun!” He called his name again, but to no avail. 

His voice echoed off the walls, and he felt the panic grow stronger. Then, Jongin ran back to their bedroom and checked the closet, the dresser drawers, and the nightstands just to find everything empty. No clothes, no hair products, no accessories. Nothing.

There was no trace of Sehun left in the apartment.

Jongin started breathing faster, his lungs burning. He felt his entire body shake violently, his heart beating rapidly in his chest, and his breathing grew rapid and unsteady. Tears started filling his eyes and he was having a hard time to keep himself calm. He was having a hard time to keep breathing.

“No, no, no, no.” He whispered.

The panic inside him grew stronger. He tried to tell himself it was just a dream, that he would wake up in a moment, that everything was okay, but his mind didn’t cooperate. He was spiraling.

In his panicked state, he managed to spot his phone on the nightstand and grabbed it, his hands shaking. His fingers stumbled over the buttons as he searched for Sehun’s name on his contact list. His vision blurred, his entire body was shaking, but he kept pressing the buttons over and over again until he finally found the contact. He pressed the green button and put the device next to his ear, praying for an answer.

The phone rang and rang, but no one answered.

“Pick up, pick up, pick up!” He whispered in a strangled voice.

The phone rang. And rang. And rang. And then went to voice mail.

“Baby, please.” His voice cracked.

He pressed the red button, disconnecting the call. He started dialing the number, trying over and over again until his hands started to shake even more. Jongin doesn’t know how many times he tried reaching Sehun, but every unanswered call only made him feel worse and worse. The pain inside his chest grew stronger, and he could hardly breathe.

Then , he spotted another name on his contact list. The name of the only other person that could tell him what happened. The only other person who knew where his Sehun was. He didn’t want to make the call, didn’t want to hear the rejection in his friend’s voice. Not after their last conversation that left him feeling like shit. But it was his only choice.

He didn’t even hesitate, he pressed the green button, and pressed the phone against his ear.

“Hello?” Chanyeol greeted him on the other end of the line with a yawn.

“Chanyeol.” Jongin gasped. “I-I can’t find Sehun. He’s not here, and he’s not answering his phone.”

There was a pause, and then a sigh. “Calm down, Jongin. Breathe.”

Jongin tried to steady his breathing, inhaling deeply and exhaling slowly. He ran a hand through his hair, pacing around the room.

“Sehun is safe here with me. Now, calm the fuck down and listen to what I’m going to say.” Chanyeol’s voice was low and calm, but there was an edge to it. It was a tone that was both sad and angry, and it made Jongin feel terrible.

Jongin stopped pacing, his entire body frozen.

“He came here not so long ago, completely wrecked.” Chanyeol continued. “You should’ve seen him, Jongin. He was hysterical, crying his eyes out.”

Jongin winced at the tone of Chanyeol’s voice. He could hear the disappointment lacing his words. They felt like little needles piercing Jongin’s heart knowing it was not only disappointment that was there. There was also betrayal, because two years ago Chanyeol had entrusted someone he adored like a little brother to Jongin, and now all that trust was gone.

“You have to make a decision.” Chanyeol’s voice pierced through his thoughts, snapping him out of his reverie. “Either you pull your head out of your ass and get your act together, or you let Sehun go.”

There it was again, the same thing that made his heart clench and his stomach churn. The same thing that made him want to throw up and cry. He closed his eyes, his hand gripping the phone tighter. The thought of letting Sehun go was like a punch in the face, a feeling that made him breathless and dizzy. The mere thought made his blood run cold and his heart ache painfully, as if it had been torn into pieces.

“I can’t let him go, hyung.” Jongin said, his voice quivering. “I can’t.”

“Then make it right. Show him that you mean it.” Chanyeol replied. “But you need to fix yourself before you can fix anything.”

“Not this again.” Jongin mumbled. “I don’t need to be fixed. I just-”

“Then why do you keep hurting him?” Chanyeol asked. That seemed to shut Jongin up. He remained silent for a while, trying to sort his thoughts. He tried to think of an answer, but nothing came to his mind. “Jongin, this isn’t going to work. You can’t keep using the excuse that you’re too busy with work. You have to do something, or you’re going to lose him for good.”

Jongin felt his heart skip a beat. He thought of Sehun’s face, of the pain and agony in his eyes, the tears rolling down his cheeks. He couldn’t imagine a life without him. He didn’t want to imagine a life without him. He knew he needed Sehun more than air, and now he had to do everything to get him back.

“Alright.” His voice was so quiet he didn’t even recognise it himself. “Okay, I’ll try.”

“Try? You’ll fucking do it. I’m not going to sit here and watch you break him into pieces over and over again. Either you fix this or leave him alone.”

With that, the line went dead.

Jongin stood in the middle of the room, his phone clutched tightly in his hand. His mind was reeling, his heart pounding, his blood rushing. He felt like his entire world was crashing down around him. Sehun was the most important person in his life. If he lost him, he’d lose himself.

With this thoughts in mind, Jongin made a plan. It was time for the change he should’ve gone through a long time ago. To prove to Chanyeol, to Sehun, and most importantly, to himself, that he’s capable of making the right decision. That he’s able to love Sehun and be loved back.

He didn’t waste another second. He got dressed quickly, putting on the first thing that came to his hand. After checking himself in the mirror, he rushed out of the room and grabbed his keys.

࿏

Jongin lingers by the doorway, his heart hammering in his chest. He’s gone over this moment countless times in his mind, but now that it’s actually happening, he’s terrified. He knocked two times on the fancy black door and waits. A few moments later, Chanyeol’s face appears. His expression is hard, his eyes narrow.

“Can I come in?” Jongin hesitantly asked. 

Chanyeol stares at him, his gaze piercing. He looks like he’s about to deny him, tell him to go away and never come back. But he doesn’t. Instead, Chanyeol steps aside, gesturing for him to enter.

That same day Jongin didn’t go to work. His mind was a mess, his thoughts all over the place. As soon as he was done with his call with Chanyeol, he knew what he had to do. He headed over to the best therapist he knew and made an appointment. It was high time to face his demons, to fix the mess he created. Still, it was regrettable that it came with a high price.

“I just calmed him down.” Chanyeol said quietly as soon as he closed the door behind them. “I don’t want him to cry again.”

The regret must’ve shown on his face because Chanyeol’s shoulders sagged, and the frown disappeared from his face.

“Where is he?” Jongin asked.

“He’s in the bedroom. Down the hall, second door to the left.”

Jongin nodded and walked away, heading towards the direction he was told. As he got closer to the door, he could hear soft sniffling. His heart clenched painfully. The room was dark and quiet, save for the little sniffling sounds coming from under the covers. He approached the bed and stood there, watching the lump under the sheets.

“Sehun.” Jongin’s voice was soft but trembling.

Sehun didn’t turn around to look at him. Jongin did notice how his body tensed by the sound of his voice, though. The room became even more silent. It was unnerving. The air between them feels fragile, like glass on the verge of shattering. Jongin swallows hard and walked to stand on the other side of the bed, where he could see Sehun’s face. But his fiance had pulled the covers over his head, hiding.

“Baby, please look at me.” He crouched down beside the bed. “Please. I know I’ve let you down, over and over again. But I need you to hear me out.”

Still nothing. Jongin hesitates, then reaches out, his hand trembling as it hovers over the blanket. The moment his fingers brush against the soft material, Sehun jerks away, as if burned. Sehun pulled his knees up to his chest, hugging them close, the grip on the sheets strong enough to turn his knuckles white.

Jongin’s breath catches, but he doesn’t pull back. Instead, he scoots closer, pressing his side against the bed. His hand is still outstretched, palm open and waiting. Jongin thought about it. All the things he should say and apologize for, all the regrets and mistakes he’s made. But at the end, none of them seemed right.

So, he settled for a simple, “I love you.”

It was not enough. When he thinks about it, the words barely left his mouth. When was the last time Sehun heard those three words from him? Even to him, the memory was too far away, lost in the chaos of his busy schedule. He didn’t even remember the last time they shared an intimate moment, just the two of them.

The thought destroyed him, knowing how far his negligence had driven them apart. He was ashamed and embarrassed, knowing how he acted and how his actions had hurt Sehun.

“I will make one last promise to you. I will change. I will do anything and everything to make you happy. I swear it.”

Jongin doesn’t expect an answer, and he doesn’t get one. He sighs, his shoulders slumping, and lowers his head. His eyes sting, and his throat is tight. He blinks furiously, trying to push back the tears that threaten to fall. Because just like those little three words, he knew he’s never kept one single promise.

Dates missed.

Anniversaries forgotten.

Hours and hours of unanswered calls.

Jongin had done all of these, and yet Sehun had been so patient, so forgiving. But this was the last straw. The breaking point. And this was Jongin’s last chance. With one last glance at his fiancee, he stood up, and turned to walk away.

࿏

A week passes, and Sehun still hasn’t returned. It was agonizing, knowing his fiance was so close, yet so far. Every night he called him, only to have his calls ignored. It was a small hope that maybe Sehun would pick up and talk to him. But that didn’t happen. It was also the day he had his first individual therapy session. It was difficult to share his past and the reasons behind his behavior. It was not an easy task, but it was a start.

“So, how’d it go?” Chanyeol asked while taking slurping on his noodles.

They were seated at Chanyeol’s kitchen table, enjoying the dinner that Chanyeol had prepared. Jongin had showed up unannounced, claiming that he wanted to check on Sehun.

“It went fine.” Jongin answered while playing with the hem of his shirt. “I don’t know why it took me so long.”

“We don’t always realize we need help until it’s too late.” Chanyeol replied.

“But Sehun did.” Sehun had known about Jongin’s past since the beginning of their relationship and had encouraged him to go seek help. Jongin was too stubborn and too proud to accept that he was, in fact, not well in the head. “I took him for granted. I took everything he gave me for granted.”

“Yes, you did.” Chanyeol answered a little too harsh. 

Chanyeol never failed to point out his mistakes and flaws. Sometimes Jongin thought he was being too harsh, but he kept his mouth shut. Because as much as he hated the truth, Chanyeol was not sugar-coating anything. It still stung, though, hearing his friend point out all his shortcomings.

“You’re not going to make it easy for me, are you?” He sighed.

“Nope.” Chanyeol said with a pop.

Silence settled between them. They ate their food in silence, and when they were done, Chanyeol gathered the plates and utensils and took them to the sink. He picked up a clean bowl and walked toward the noddles. He poured some in the bowl, then pushed it toward Jongin.

Jongin gave him a confused look. “Dude, I just ate.” He said.

“This isn’t for you , dumbass.” Chanyeol said, irritated. “It’s for Sehun. He refuses to eat.”

“He’s not eating?” The worry was clear in his voice.

“Barely. He spends most of his time cooped up in his room working on his book.”

Right, his book. Sehun has been working on his next novel for six months. He would often disappear for hours on end, writing away in his little office. It was only a matter of time before the book was published.

“Take this to him.” Chanyeol interrupted his train of thought. “Hopefully, you’ll have better luck than me.”

The bowl felt heavy in his hands. The weight was crushing his heart, and his stomach twisted into knots. He was nervous. Indeed, it’s been a week since they last seen each other, what with Jongin working and visiting his therapist, and Sehun… well. He didn’t know what Sehun was doing besides avoiding him.

He swallowed his fears and headed to the living room. The dim light of the living room feels heavier than it should, and the sound of his footsteps echoes off the walls. It seems louder than usual, and his heart is beating fast. Sehun sits on the couch, his body angled away from where Jongin came in, knees bent and feet resting on the edge of the couch. He was working on some papers, probably revising his manuscript.

Jongin’s stomach churns from the sight. The dark circles under his fiance’s eyes, the way his clothes seem to hang looser than they used to—it all gnaws at Jongin’s heart. He steps forward cautiously, setting the tray down on the coffee table. 

“Hey.” Jongin says quietly, his voice tentative. “Here’s some dinner. Chanyeol made it.”

Sehun doesn’t look at the food. He doesn’t look at Jongin. His gaze remains fixed on the papers in his hands, and his brow is furrowed in concentration.

“You haven’t been eating much.” Jongin adds worriedly. “I… I thought you might be hungry.”

There’s no response. Sehun’s lips press into a thin line, his knees pulling closer to his chest. Jongin bites his lip. What do you say to the person you love, who is hurting because of you? Jongin feels the sting of rejection but forces himself to sit on the edge of the coffee table, his hands clasped tightly in his lap. Sehun pulled his knees in tighter, curling his body away from the other.

The silence stretches between them. It’s deafening, and the air is filled with tension. Sehun is still holding his manuscript, his eyes focused on the words. Jongin clears his throat, unsure of what to say. 

“I, uh, had my first therapy session today.” It was subtle, but Jongin noticed the slight pause in his lover’s writing. “It was… difficult. I told her everything about my past.”

His confession hangs heavily in the air, and he’s suddenly aware of the lump forming in his throat. He’s not sure why he said that, but it just felt right. It felt important to share this information with the man he loves.

Jongin took Sehun’s lack of reaction as a cue to continue. “She helped me understand some things and you were right. I’m not well mentally.”

Jongin had been avoiding the topic of his parents for years, about his abusive father and a mother that ran away. He’d been running from his past for as long as he could remember. It was easier to push those thoughts down and pretend that they didn’t exist. But now that he was actually dealing with his issues, and although there was still so much work to be done, he feels a weight has been lifted from his shoulders.

“I’m not asking you to forgive me. I just… I need you to know that I’m trying.”

The room falls silent again. Sehun continues working, his focus never wavering. His face is emotionless, and his expression is blank. His gaze never shifts, and his fingers are moving steadily across the pages. The sound of pen scratching paper fills the room, and it makes Jongin’s heart ache. 

It’s agonizing, and the pain is almost too much to bear. But Jongin sits there, his eyes fixed on his fiance. Sehun is so beautiful, and his beauty is something that no one can ever take away from him. His face is like porcelain, his skin smooth and flawless. His eyes are large and expressive, his eyelashes long and thick. His hair is soft and silky, and his lips are full and pink. He’s perfection, and no matter what happens, nothing can ever change that.

“I love you, Sehun. I know I haven’t shown it the way I should, but I do. And I’m sorry.” Nothing. Jongin lets out a deep breath, and stands. He feels defeated. It’s as if all the air has been sucked out of the room, leaving him deflated. He glances at the untouched tray of food, then back at Sehun. “I’ll leave this here, in case you get hungry,” he says softly. 

And with that, he walks away, leaving Sehun curled up on the couch with the faint aroma of soup lingering in the air.

࿏

Once the sound of Jongin’s footsteps fades, Sehun’s gaze finally flickers toward the tray. His eyes linger on the bowl of ramen, and he chews his bottom lip thoughtfully. There is a small part of Sehun’s mind that is screaming at him to believe the words. That’s what he’s always wanted to hear, isn’t it? Those three words were all he had hoped for. But the other side is telling him otherwise. That those three little words meant nothing.

Still, his heart is a traitor.

He doesn’t reach for the food, but the smallest crack in his composure forms. It’s the briefest moment of weakness, and his resolve threatens to break. Sehun sits out right, crossing his legs on the couch and setting his work on his lap. He lets out a small sigh, looking sideways at the cold noodles on the coffee table, yearning for a warmth that used to be there but got lost somewhere in time.

࿏

Jongin wanted to bang his head with something. Not only was he swamped with paperwork, but he also had an upcoming important meeting that he couldn’t pass up the next day. To say he was stressed was an understatement. Balancing his work life with his personal life was harder than he’d imagined. And keeping up with his therapist’s appointments was a struggle, but it was a necessary evil.

Therapy. Just thinking about it feels surreal. Jongin had spent the session unpacking the things he’s buried for years—his father’s anger, his mother’s abandonment, and the way those wounds kept bleeding into his relationship with Sehun. It was painful, and at times, he wanted to quit. But he had promised Sehun he’d change for him. 

Which brought him to his current dilemma.

Hours later, Jongin found himself in a flower shop in his quest to find a gift for his fiance. The plan was to send those with his secretary while he was busy with his meeting with some foreign clients. It was a perfect plan: romantic, sweet and thoughtful. The only problem was that there were so many flowers, and none of them seemed good enough. His fingers hover over the petals, unsure of what to choose. 

“White tulips.” a voice interrupts from behind him. Jongin stiffens, turning to find Chanyeol making his way toward him. His tall frame fills the small space, and his sharp gaze cuts through Jongin like a knife. “Sehun loves them.”

Jongin nods silently, reaching for a few stems. But Chanyeol doesn’t move, doesn’t soften.

“You really think flowers are going to fix this?” Chanyeol asked.

Jongin’s grip on the tulips tightens, but he doesn’t look up. “No. They won’t fix anything. But they might make him smile. Even if it’s just for a second.”

Chanyeol’s lips are pursed, and his brows are furrowed. It’s a familiar expression, one that says more than his words ever could.

“What are you doing here?” Jongin asked, finally gathering enough courage to meet Chanyeol’s eyes.

“I was on my way to the bakery next block. Best croissants in town. I’ve got a craving.” Chanyeol said with a shrug of his shoulders. Jongin would’ve laughed at his bad pronunciation of the word ‘croissant’, but it wasn’t the time. “I saw you from across the street and decided to stop by. See what you were up to.”

“I’m sending Sehun some flowers.” Jongin answered.

“Sending? You’re not even going to deliver them yourself?”

Jongin didn’t know why he felt so offended by Chanyeol’s tone. Maybe because his friend was right. Again. 

“I- uh…”

He didn’t know how to respond. Jongin felt defeated once again. No matter how hard he tried, no matter how many gifts he bought, it was never good enough. The tension between them hangs thick in the air. Chanyeol narrows his eyes, studying Jongin like he’s trying to find a crack in his resolve. All Jongin could do was look down, avoiding Chanyeol’s fierce gaze.

Finally, Chanyeol lets out a long sigh, running a hand through his hair. “If you mess this up, Jongin… I won’t stand by and watch Sehun go through that kind of pain again.” He reaches out and plucks a single stem of baby’s breath from the counter, adding it to Jongin’s bundle. “He likes these too.” He muttered before turning to leave.

Jongin watched Chanyeol’s retreating back in surprise. Ever since the fight, Chanyeol has not been the nicest to him. Jongin couldn’t blame him, he hurt his best friend after all. And yet, Chanyeol has it in him to find little ways to help him. To let him know that he was still willing to give him a second chance with Sehun.

A chance to redeem himself.

A chance to prove his love.

࿏

Somewhere in the evening, a knock on the door interrupted Sehun and Chanyeol’s conversation. They were huddled together on the couch, sharing a box of pizza, and watching their favorite horror movies. Chanyeol was halfway into the pizza when they got interrupted, and he frowned, looking annoyed.

“You expecting anyone?” He asked, his mouth full.

Sehun shook his head no, munching on his pizza, but he was unsure. What if Jongin was on the other side of the door? He was not ready to face him again.

“I’ll go check.” Chanyeol stood up and headed towards the front door. Sehun could hear a muffled conversation, and after a few moments, his best friend reappeared, holding a bouquet of flowers.

Sehun’s eyes widen, his jaw slackened. The bouquet was beautiful, a mixture of tulips and baby’s breath that make the perfect arrangement. He was definitely not expecting a bouquet to be delivered at their doorstep. He looked confused as Chanyeol passed the flowers to him. He stared at his friend in disbelief.

“These are for you.” Chanyeol said.

“Oh wow.” Sehun muttered, eyeing the beautiful bouquet. “I didn’t think you were the type, but… thanks, I guess?”

Silence. Chanyeol’s jaw dropped. “Are you serious right now?”

Sehun blinked, confused by Chanyeol’s reaction. “I mean, they’re lovely. Really pretty. You didn’t have to—”

“Stop right there, idiot.” Chanyeol thrust the bouquet toward him with enough force to make the petals flutter. “These aren’t from me. Do I look like the kind of guy who buys you flowers?”

“Then who—”

“Who do you think? Prince Charming himself. Jongin. He’s waiting for you to, I don’t know, swoon or something.” Chanyeol rolled his eyes so hard it was a miracle they didn’t get stuck.

Sehun started at his best friend wide eyed, processing Chanyeol’s words. Jongin sent the flowers. It was all Sehun registered. It didn’t matter that Chanyeol was talking or that he was making wild hand gestures. Nothing mattered but the flowers. He reached out, finally taking the bouquet, and held it close to his chest. He could smell the flowers, their sweet aroma filling the room. He felt dizzy, the scent making his head spin.

“I didn’t ask him to do this.” Sehun said weakly.

“Yeah, well, he did.” Chanyeol sat on the couch, grabbing another slice of pizza. “Make sure to thank him before he starts serenading on my porch. I’m not dealing with that.”

Tucked between the flowers was a card. Sehun pulled it out, his fingers trembling. The card was plain, with Jongin’s familiar handwriting scrawled across it in slightly uneven lines:

“I’m sorry I couldn’t give these to you myself. I hope you like them. Next time, I promise I’ll be the one to deliver them to you.”

Sehun stared at the message, his fingers brushing over the words as if they could convey the weight behind them. It was so simple, so earnest, and yet it felt like the walls he’d built around himself were cracking, piece by piece.

Chanyeol was too absorbed in his pizza and the movie to notice the subtle flush creeping up Sehun’s neck or the storm of emotions warring on his face. The giant chewed contentedly, eyes glued to the screen, blissfully unaware of the whole mess building beside him.

࿏

It was already dark when Jongin pulled up in front of Cafe Verve. The neon lights cast a soft glow across the sidewalk, and the warm scent of freshly brewed coffee wafted through the air, mixing with the chilly night breeze. He parked his car, his hands still slightly shaking, and stared at the cafe for a moment, his mind replaying the text he’d received earlier that day.

The message had come in during a break at work. He remembered pulling his phone out, his mind too busy to process it at first.

Sehun hosts the book club every Friday at 6 PM. Do NOT miss it.

The text had been from Chanyeol—his tone blunt, almost commanding. He’d added a quick “don’t mess this up” before signing off.

Jongin had tried to push aside the swirl of frustration, guilt, and confusion that hit him in that moment. How was it possible that Sehun, his fiance, had been doing something so important, something he clearly cared about, and Jongin had never even known? He’s been too caught up with work, too absorbed in his own routine, to even ask Sehun about his day-to-day life.

He shoved his hands into the pockets of his jacket and leaned against the hood of his car, his gaze fixed on the cafe’s entrance. The sound of laughter and lively chatter from inside filtered through the door, but he stayed where he was, watching the clock on his phone tick closer to 7:30. Sehun’s book club had to be wrapping up soon.

As the cafe door opened, the voices inside became louder, and the group of book club members began filing out one by one. Jongin could see Sehun at the back of the group, his signature and effortlessly cool demeanor standing out even in a crowd. Sehun was talking to someone, his back still turned to Jongin. He seemed so… Sehun. Jongin’s heart beat a little faster just from the sight of him.

“Mr. Oh, your next novel is launching soon.” One of the women commented, her voice excited.

“Oh, yeah. The meet and greet is coming soon!” Another woman said.

Jongin was listening to their conversation, taking a mental note of what they were saying. He knew Sehun was working on a new novel and that his previous ones have been a huge success, but he had no idea how successful they were. He couldn’t help but feel a pang of pride. He wished he could’ve been a part of it, wished he could’ve supported Sehun and encouraged him the way he should’ve.

Sehun shifted uncomfortably, clearly trying to deflect the attention. He smiled, but it was tight, the kind of smile that didn’t quite reach his eyes. He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, clearly wishing the conversation would end. He could see that Sehun was trying to escape. The teasing from the book club members was harmless in nature, but it was clear it was getting to Sehun. The last thing Jongin wanted was for Sehun to feel cornered, especially not with him standing right there. 

Without thinking, Jongin pushed off from the hood of his car and stepped forward, closing the gap between them.

Jongin settled behind Sehun, his body pressed against his lover’s. “Sehun.” he said.

Sehun blinked in surprise, turning around and meeting his eyes for a split second before quickly looking away, his cheeks turning pink as his gaze dropped to the ground. The other members of the book club immediately turned their attention to Jongin, mouth agape and eyes wide, obviously not expecting to see the one and only business man Kim Jongin.

“Ladies, I hope you don’t mind if I steal my fiance away,” he said with a smirk, taking Sehun by the hand and tugging him away. 

A moment of silence passed between them before they heard a commotion behind them. “Fiance!?” They heard the women yell. Jongin took advantage of the chaos and pulled Sehun closer, trying not to get too giddy by the pretty blush that spread Sehun’s cheeks.

Once they were out of earshot, Sehun whispered, “That wasn’t necessary.”

Jongin almost jumped in surprise. It was the first time Sehun had spoken to him directly since their fight, and it felt good. So good. They walked in silence, the streetlamps casting a warm glow over them. The sound of cars whizzing by, people walking past them a distant hum, and all Jongin could focus on was the feeling of Sehun’s hand in his.

They finally reached his car, and he unlocked it, opening the passenger door for Sehun. Sehun raised an eyebrow, looking at him skeptically.

“Do you want me to drive you home? I-I mean, if you want to, you know.” Jongin stuttered, nervously.

Sehun stared at the open door for a long moment, biting his lip thoughtfully. After a moment, Sehun climbs into the passenger seat. Jongin released a breath he hadn’t realized he was holding and slid into the driver’s seat. He gets in and starts the car, stealing a glance at Sehun’s profile. The blush on his cheeks hasn’t entirely faded, and his gaze is fixed firmly ahead.

Jongin takes a deep breath. This is a start, a small step in the right direction. He’s not going to ruin it by trying to have a deep conversation. Baby steps. That’s what the therapist had told him. Baby steps.

“So… a book club, huh?” He says, trying to keep his tone light and casual. “That’s cool.”

“Yeah, I’ve been hosting it for years.”

Strike 1.

It almost felt like an arrow went through his heart. He should’ve known about the book club. 

Jongin gripped the steering wheel a little tighter, forcing himself to keep his expression neutral. “That’s really impressive. I mean, hosting something like that—it’s got to take a lot of planning.” He said. 

“Not really. It’s just a group of people who love books. We meet, we talk. It’s not a big deal.” Sehun shrugged, still looking out the window. 

Strike 2.

Jongin winced internally. Not a big deal? Sehun’s modesty hit harder than he expected. He should’ve been there to see how much this meant to him, how much effort Sehun put into things he cared about. How had he missed this?

“You’ve always loved books,” Jongin said after a pause, trying to recover. “I remember when we first started dating, you always had a book in your hand. I never even realized you were working on a novel back then.”

“I wasn’t working on one,” Sehun said flatly. “I’d already published my first by then.”

Strike 3. Game over.

Jongin’s breath hitched. How could I not know that? He bit the inside of his cheek, fighting the urge to slam his head against the steering wheel. The silence that followed was heavy, the tension thick enough to cut with a knife. Jongin swallowed hard, glancing at Sehun out of the corner of his eye. He needed to say something, anything, to fix this. But the words felt trapped in his throat, tangled with guilt and regret.

“I’m sorry.” He finally murmured, his voice barely above a whisper.

Sehun kept his expression unreadable. For a moment, Jongin thought he might ignore him, but then Sehun spoke, his tone quieter, softer than before. “For what?”

Jongin’s chest tightened as the weight of Sehun’s question bore down on him. He was sorry for so much it felt impossible to articulate. 

“For everything.” He finally said. “I’m sorry for all the ways I had made you feel unseen, unheard, and unimportant.”

They stopped at a red light, and he looked at Sehun. His eyes were wide, and his lips parted, clearly stunned by his words. The colorful street lights bathed Sehun’s face in a soft glow, making his eyes look brighter than ever. He missed Sehun so much, and he couldn’t stop himself from reaching over, his fingers grazing the side of Sehun’s face gently.

“I’m sorry for taking your love for granted.” He whispered, his voice breaking slightly.

Sehun’s jaw clenched, his Adam’s apple bobbing. The silence stretched between them, the only sound being their breathing and the gentle hum of the engine. Then, the light turns green, and the moment was lost.

The rest of the drive was silent, the hum of the engine and the faint murmur of the city the only sounds around them. Jongin kept his focus on the road, but his mind was a storm of emotions. He had finally said it—finally apologized the way Sehun deserved–but now he was left with the unbearable uncertainty of what it meant. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Sehun sitting stiffly, his hands clasped tightly in his lap, his gaze fixed out the window. 

When they pulled up to Chanyeol’s place, Jongin put the car in park but made no move to get out. Neither did Sehun. The silence stretched between them, growing heavier with each passing second. Jongin’s hands rested on the steering wheel, gripping it tightly as if it was the only thing keeping him grounded. He wanted to say something more, but the lump in his throat made it impossible.

Sehun shifted, his hand reaching for the door handle. He hesitated, glancing at Jongin for the briefest of moments before turning back to face forward. “Thanks for the ride,” he murmured, his voice quiet but sincere. 

Jongin nodded, not trusting himself to speak. He thought that was the end of it until Sehun paused, his fingers drumming lightly against the door.

“And…” Sehun’s voice wavered, so soft Jongin almost missed it. “Thanks for the flowers.”

Jongin’s head whipped around to look at him, but before he could process the words fully or respond, Sehun pushed open the door and stepped out. The slam of the car door echoed in the night. Jongin watched as Sehun hurried toward the building, his movements quick, almost frantic. He disappeared inside without looking back.

Jongin sat there for a moment, staring at the now-empty passenger seat. A strange mixture of elation and confusion bubbled up inside him, leaving him reeling. Did that really happen?

He took a deep breath, trying to steady his racing heart. The air was heavy with the scent of Sehun’s cologne, the smell stirring up memories and emotions he’d been trying to hold at bay. He took another shaky breath and forced himself to focus on the present. A small, bittersweet smile tugged at his lips. 

It wasn’t much, but it was something.

࿏

It’s already been two months since Jongin began his therapy sessions. He admits he was stubborn and should’ve listened to Sehun about seeking help. It was a huge help in unpacking all the emotional baggage he had accumulated throughout the years.

And through it all Jongin thought about Sehun the entire time.

The doctor said the process was slow. Some days would be tough, some would be okay. But there would be progress, and that’s what’s important. 

After his last therapy session of the week, his secretary drove him to have dinner with Chanyeol and Sehun. Chanyeol had called him and invited him over for dinner. The invitation had taken him by surprise, not because Chanyeol of all people invited him. Chanyeol, though still wary, has maintained a civil relationship with Jongin and had helped him in his quest to win back Sehun’s heart.

No, it was not because of Chanyeol. 

It was because it was Sehun’s idea to invite him over.

Sehun.

It has been a while since they talked last time in his car that night. Sehun has been busy with the upcoming launch of his new novel, and Jongin was busy with his therapy sessions and work. Though they hadn’t spoken much, Jongin had continued his mission of showing Sehun how much he meant to him. Every Friday, he would send a bouquet of tulips and baby’s breath to the cafe where the book club is held.

Jongin knocked on the door and looked down at the bouquet in his hands. Back then he had promised Sehun he’d be the one to give him flowers next time. It’s taken a while, but this time, he kept his promise.

Chanyeol opened the door and raised his eyebrows when he saw the flowers. “I’m guessing those are for me.” Chanyeol joked.

“Very funny.” Jongin said.

Chanyeol smirked and stepped aside, letting him in. “We’re just setting the table. You’re right on time.”

Jongin walked inside, his eyes immediately scanning the living room, searching for Sehun. When he didn’t see him, he frowned, turning back to Chanyeol. “Where’s—”

“I’m here!” Sehun’s voice rang out, and a second later, he appeared, holding a basket of bread. “Sorry, I was just checking the oven.”

Jongin’s mouth went dry. Sehun looked beautiful. He wore a loose white shirt tucked into a pair of light blue jeans that accentuated his small waist, his hair styled perfectly and his skin glowing. There was a flush on his cheeks from the heat of the kitchen, and his lips were slightly pink. He looked effortlessly stunning.

“Hi.” Sehun said, his eyes darting between him and the flowers.

“Hi.” Jongin said, not knowing how else to respond. As if struck by lightning, he remembered the bouquet in his hand and lifted it up. “I um, brought these for you. I know I promised you that I’d be the one to bring you the next bouquet and, well… I’m sorry it took me a while.”

Sehun’s eyes widened, his mouth dropping open slightly. The sight of him, so startled and adorable, sent a rush of affection through Jongin. He couldn’t help but smile softly, his eyes crinkling.

“Thank you.” Sehun breathed, his gaze fixed on the flowers.

Jongin could hear the sincerity in his voice. The way Sehun was looking at the flowers, it was almost like he was seeing them for the first time.

Chanyeol cleared his throat, shattering the moment. “Dinner’s ready. Let’s eat before the food gets cold.”

Jongin followed behind Sehun and Chanyeol as they walked to the dining room, his heart pounding in his chest. He could still see the faint blush on Sehun’s cheeks, the way his eyes sparkled when he took the flowers from him and tucked them firmly against his chest. It was a small victory, but it meant everything.

Dinner was a fairly normal affair. They discussed their days, talking about work and other trivial matters. It was the most normal conversation that had happened ever since that awful night, and for the first time, Chanyeol did not throw him any hateful glances his way, nor Sehun ran away from him. 

It was a simple meal, nothing too fancy, but the atmosphere was relaxed, and the food was perfect. 

After dinner, they decided to watch a movie, and the three of them sat on the couch. Somewhere in the middle, the movie reaches a quieter scene and Sehun’s eyes begin to droop. It’s subtle at first—a slow blink here, a stifled yawn there. But soon enough, his head dips forward slightly before he catches himself, sitting up with a start.

Chanyeol notices and grins. “You’re gonna miss the ending at this rate.” He teases.

“Shut up,” Sehun mutters, rubbing his eyes.

Jongin watches the exchange silently, a small smile tugging at his lips. He doesn’t say anything, but he notices the way Sehun’s head keeps drooping, his exhaustion clear.

It happens almost subtly—Sehun shifts slightly, his body leaning to the side until his head finds a resting place on Jongin’s shoulder. Jongin freezes, his entire body going rigid as he realizes what’s happening. Chanyeol catches the movement out of the corner of his eye and glances over, raising an eyebrow. A knowing smirk spreads across his face, but he says nothing at first, letting the moment settle.

Jongin, meanwhile, doesn’t dare move. His heart is racing, his mind scrambling to process the fact that Sehun is leaning on him. He glances down cautiously, and sure enough, Sehun’s eyes are closed, his breathing slow and even.

“Well, would you look at that.” Chanyeol finally says, his voice low but laced with amusement. “You’ve officially been promoted to pillow status.”

Jongin glares at him, silently pleading for him to keep his voice down. “Don’t wake him up.” He whispers, his tone firm.

“Relax, I’m not gonna ruin your moment.” Chanyeol pauses. “You should take him upstairs.”

“What?” Jongin hisses, his voice still hushed. “I can’t just—”

“Why not? He’s out like a light.” Chanyeol interrupts, gesturing toward Sehun. “And let’s be honest, he could use the rest. Just take him to his room.”

Jongin hesitates, glancing at Sehun’s peaceful expression. The idea of moving him feels daunting—he doesn’t want to risk waking him up or, worse, making things awkward. But there’s a part of him that doesn’t want to let this rare moment slip away.

“Come on.” Chanyeol says, encouraging. “You’ve got this.”

With a deep breath, Jongin carefully shifts, sliding an arm around Sehun’s shoulders to steady him. Sehun stirs slightly but doesn’t wake, his head nestling closer against Jongin’s neck. Jongin’s cheeks flush as he stands, cradling Sehun gently as he makes his way toward the bedroom. 

Chanyeol watches them go, a satisfied grin on his face. “Don’t drop him, lover boy.”

Jongin shoots him a withering glare over his shoulder but doesn’t respond, focusing instead on getting Sehun upstairs without incident. When he reaches Sehun’s room, he carefully lays him down on the bed, adjusting the blankets to make sure he’s comfortable. He watches the way Sehun nuzzles into the pillow, his lips parting slightly as he sighs in his sleep.

It was such a pure sight that it made his heart ache. He wanted this moment to last, to stay in this bubble forever. He stood there, watching him for a long moment, drinking in the sight.

Then he leaned forward, pressing a soft kiss to Sehun’s forehead.

“Goodnight, Sehun.” Jongin whispered.

Jongin let temptation get the better of him and stroked Sehun’s hair, marveling at how soft and silky it was under his touch. He had missed this, had missed the little intimacies that come with being with someone. He had never felt more grateful for Sehun than he did at that moment, for his patience, his kindness, and his love.

He was so beautiful, so precious. How had he not seen it before?

The answer came immediately: because he had struggled with his own emotions, hiding away behind mountains of paperwork to notice the people that loved him dearly.

But things were different now.

He was too wrapped up in his own thoughts, too absorbed in his memories, that he didn’t notice when Sehun’s eyes fluttered open.

“Jongin.” Sehun’s sleepy voice said, making him jump a little.

“Sorry.” He said. “Did I wake you?”

Sehun shook his head and reached out, his fingers tangling with his. He tugged gently, pulling him down and closer to him. Their faces were only inches apart, and Jongin could feel the warmth of Sehun’s breath on his lips.

“Can you–” Sehun hesitated, avoiding Jongin’s eyes. “Can you stay for the night?”

It was dark in the room, but he was sure the blush in Sehun’s cheeks could illuminate the entire place. He didn’t say a word. He pushed himself away from Sehun and, for a second, he could see sadness and rejection on Sehun’s face. But he took of his jacket and shoes, tossed it on the side of the room, and crawled on the bed. He laid beside him and opened his arms wide, an invitation for Sehun.

“C’mere.” He said.

Sehun didn’t need to be told twice. He moved, settling against him. His head was against his chest, and he could feel his hair tickling his chin. They fit together like a puzzle, and it felt right. So, so right.

Jongin let out a contented sigh. This was the first time in a long time that he felt so happy and relaxed. He closed his eyes, savoring the moment, and let sleep take over.

࿏

The next morning, the smell of freshly cooked eggs and warm toast fills the apartment. Jongin stands at the stove, focusing on the task at hand. He’s never been much of a cook, but today, he’s determined to do something simple, something thoughtful. He moves quickly, making sure to prepare enough for both Sehun and Chanyeol. 

Chanyeol was nowhere to be seen, not even in his own room. Probably out to the grocery store or something. The kitchen is a cozy mess—eggs sizzling in the pan, plates being set out on the counter. Jongin hums quietly to himself, feeling a rare sense of calm in the process. 

Once everything is ready, he arranges the food on the table. The toast is perfectly crisp, the eggs fluffy. He doesn’t know if Sehun will even eat it, but he’s hopeful. He hopes Sehun will see the effort behind it—the intention to make things right. 

The sound of footsteps catches his attention. 

Sehun steps into the kitchen, his eyes still a little sleepy but wide with surprise at the spread on the table. He stops just inside the doorway, his gaze flickering between the food and Jongin.

“What’s all this?” Sehun asks, voice still soft from sleep, but there’s an underlying curiosity in his tone.

Jongin smiles softly, a bit awkward but sincere. “I thought I’d make breakfast. For you, and for Chanyeol, too.”

“Oh.” Sehun looks surprised, but not upset. In fact, the corner of his lips curl into a faint smile. “You didn’t have to.”

“I know. But I wanted to.”

Jongin watches as Sehun hesitates for a moment, then walks over to the table, taking a seat. He waits a bit, then sits across from him, their eyes meeting across the table.

Sehun’s gaze drops to the plate in front of him quickly, his cheeks flushed. “Thank you.” He murmurs.

The way he says it is so sincere, so heartfelt, that it sends a rush of warmth through Jongin.

“You’re welcome.” He said with a small smile.

They sit in silence for a few minutes, Sehun picking at his food while Jongin watches him, smiling every time their eyes meet. It feels strange and a bit awkward, but also familiar and comforting. He can see Sehun’s usual guardedness—the walls he’s built to protect himself—but there’s something else there, something softening, even if just a little. 

“Are you leaving after Chanyeol gets here?” Sehun asks, his voice barely above a whisper. 

Jongin is so caught off guard by the question–and the way Sehun’s cheeks take on a slightly pink tint–that he didn’t hear the knock on the door. Sehun seemed not to hear it, either, as he looks at him expectantly.

“I… I was planning to, yeah. I don’t want to intrude if you don’t want me here.” He said.

Jongin catches the faintest glimpse of uncertainty in his expression. For a split second, Sehun almost looks… vulnerable. He quickly looks away, his blush deepening.

Knock, knock, knock.

“I—uh… well, it’s just… you could stay a little longer, if you want.” Sehun mutters, the words coming out quickly, as though he’s trying to retract them at the same time. His gaze is still fixed on the floor, and his hands fidget nervously.

Jongin’s chest tightens, but he doesn’t let his emotions show. 

Instead, he nods and gives a small, reassuring smile. “I can stay if you want me to.”

Sehun doesn’t respond, but the faintest nod of his head tells Jongin all he needs to know. It’s not much, but it’s progress. A crack in the wall.

“Stop flirting and open the door already!” Chanyeol’s voice came through the door after knocking three times against the door.

Sehun’s head snaps up, his eyes wide, and for a moment, he looks mortified. His blush deepens to a brilliant red, and he glares at the door like it’s personally offended him. 

“Why is he like this?” He mutters under his breath, refusing to look at Jongin.

Jongin tries to keep his expression neutral, but inside, his heart is racing. The way Sehun is looking at him—so shy and embarrassed—makes his chest fill with a warmth he hasn’t felt in a long time.

࿏

As the months passed, things began to change. Little by little, the tension between him and Sehun began to melt away, and they fell back into their old routines. There were still moments of awkwardness and uncertainty, but for the most part, things were getting better.

Jongin started going to the book club every week to pick Sehun up. Sometimes, he would buy flowers for him. On other occasions, he would bring lunch for him or some new coffee flavor that he had discovered. And every time, everyone in the club would gawk and squeal in delight. Every squeal and every giggle had Sehun blushing the prettiest shade of pink that makes his heart soar and his lips curve into smirk.

Everyday, it felt like he was falling in love all over again.

It was Friday and the book club had ended. Jongin watched Sehun as he said his goodbyes to the group, laughing and smiling as they gushed over him and his new novel. He was beautiful—the way his eyes lit up when he talked about his work, the way his lips curved into a smile. It made him fall even more in love with him. And as always, Jongin was there when the attention became too much, the perfect escape.

Their way back to Chanyeol’s place was filled with light chatter and comfortable silences. Once they reached Chanyeol’s building, none of them made a move to leave. It was already late and they were both tired, but somehow, the thought of spending the night apart left an uncomfortable feeling in the pit of their stomachs.

“Do you…” Sehun trailed off, looking at him from the corner of his eye.

“Hmm?”

Sehun chewed on his bottom lip, clearly hesitating. Finally, he blurted, “Do you want to come up? Just to rest for a bit. You can stay the night, if you want.”

Jongin paused, surprised. He looked at Sehun, studying his expression carefully. There was no mistaking the nervousness in his voice or the way his cheeks were tinged pink, but there was something else, too. Something genuine and hopeful.

“Sorry, Sehun. Not tonight.” Jongin said, a ting of regret in his voice. “I’ll stay next time, I promise. I just need to finish some paperwork. Maybe next week?”

Sehun’s eyes widened and the hope that was starting to form in his face vanished, replaced by a mixture of embarrassment and disappointment. “Oh… okay. Then, take this.” He rummaged through his bag and handed him what looked like a ticket. “My novel is launching soon and I’m holding a meet and greet event. There’s an exclusive book signing and a short interview.”

Jongin looked at the ticket and sure enough, there was the information of the book launch event and a VIP pass.

Meet and Greet.

Time: 6:00 P.M.

Location: Lotte Hall

“And since it’s a VIP pass, you’ll get to have a special meet and greet with me, and…” Sehun looked away, his voice fading. “And maybe, if you’re interested, you can… stay the night after the event. So you don’t have to go home and all.”

Jongin felt like his heart was going to burst. He tried his best to suppress the wide grin forming on his face. Instead, he smiled and said, “I’ll be there. I promise.”

The relief on Sehun’s face was palpable, and the smile he gave him was brighter than the sun. “Okay, good. That’s good.”

Sehun waved goodbye and made his way into the building, his footsteps lighter than before. He had a bounce in his step, and a newfound excitement bubbled inside him.

Jongin watched him go, his heart fluttering and his cheeks aching from the grin he was trying so hard to contain. 

࿏

He wish he had known that on the day of Sehun’s interview, things would have gone awry.

Jongin sat at his desk, staring blankly at his computer screen. Papers cluttered his mahogany desk, and the weight of his responsibilities pressed down on him like a vice. Normally, this was his domain, his sanctuary. But today, it felt suffocating. He looked at the clock hanging on the wall.

5:15 PM.

The interview was scheduled to start at 6:00 P.M. which gave him a little less than an hour to finish his work and go straight to the venue. He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair. The pressure of time and his workload were starting to wear on him. He needed a break, a distraction.

Just then, his phone vibrated, signaling a text message.

‘Where are you?’ appeared on the screen. It was Chanyeol. ‘It’s starting soon.’

Jongin quickly replied, ‘Still in the office.’

‘Are you fucking kidding me?’

Jongin flinched. Even through a text, Chanyeol’s anger was still evident. He didn’t reply, afraid that if he did, Chanyeol would send him a very long and scathing text.

“Damn it.” He muttered, frustrated.

His phone vibrated again, and another message popped up.

‘He’s waiting for you. Hurry up.’

“Mr. Kim, the board is here.” A soft voice startled him. His secretary was standing by the door. “They would like to discuss the quarterly report with you.”

Jongin stared blankly at his secretary. The board. The meeting. The quarterly report. He had forgotten about it. How could he have forgotten about it? He was the one who organized the whole thing. His secretary took him to the boardroom where the rest of the executives were waiting, all dressed in their finest suits and ready to talk business.

Jongin took a seat at the head of the table, trying his best to put on a smile and pretend that everything was fine. But his mind was somewhere else. Somewhere far, far away. The men talked about numbers and figures, but his mind was focused on the fact that Sehun was probably waiting for him, expecting him to be there. His faced popped up in his head and his chest tightened.

Sadness, disappointment, anger, frustration, anxiety.

His mind was racing, and he could feel his hands getting clammy.

You promised.

He felt his phone go off in his pocket. A lump formed in his throat.

‘Don’t bother showing up.’

Jongin stood up abruptly, startling the executives. “I’m sorry, but I have somewhere to be.” He said. 

“But the meeting-” One of the men spoke.

“Reschedule the meeting.” He said firmly, cutting him off. He turned to his secretary. “Tell the board that we’ll talk about the quarterly report next week.”

“Yes, sir.” His secretary nodded.

“Mr. Kim, is there anything wrong?” Someone said behind him.

Jongin ignored whoever that person was and walked out of the room. He needed to get out of there. His heart was beating so fast that he thought it would explode. Jongin burst out of the elevator and into the lobby of his office building, the sound of his dress shoes clapping against the marble floors echoing in the grand space. Outside, the city was alive with its usual chaos—honking horns, flashing headlights, and the relentless patter of rain against every surface. 

He stepped outside and immediately regretted it. The rain was heavier than he’d anticipated. It was cold and biting, the wind whipping the raindrops into his face. It was pouring, and the streets were busy with cars.

“Taxi!” He shouted, trying to flag down a cab.

The yellow vehicle slowed down and pulled over in front of him. Jongin yanked the door open and ducked inside, his clothes and hair dripping wet. He leaned back against the leather seat and closed his eyes, letting out a sigh.

“Lotte Hall.” He barked at the driver, shaking water off his hands.

The driver gave him a skeptical look. “You sure? Traffic’s a nightmare right now.”

“I don’t care how you do it.” Jongin snapped, leaning forward. “Just get me there as fast as you can.”

The driver shrugged, pulling into the gridlocked street. Jongin’s knee bounced as he checked his phone. 6:45 P.M. Shit.

As if the universe wasn’t satisfied with just traffic, the rain worsened. Sheets of water blurred the windshield, and the cab’s wipers fought a losing battle. And as the driver had predicted, the traffic was hell. The taxi inched forward, stopping every few seconds as the traffic lights flickered red and green. There were too many cars on the road, and the rain only made things worse.

Jongin gritted his teeth as the cab came to yet another standstill. The traffic was at a complete halt. A horn blared behind them, and the driver swore under his breath. Every minute felt like a hammer to his chest. He wasn’t going to make it at this rate.

The cab driver muttered under his breath, shaking his head as he turned to Jongin. “Looks like we’re not moving anytime soon. You might want to—”

Jongin didn’t wait for him to finish. He shoved a wad of cash into the driver’s hand and threw the door open, stepping out into the downpour. The rain hit him like a wall, soaking him to the bone. His suit clung to his body and his shoes squelched against the wet pavement. His carefully styled hair flattened against his forehead and water dripped down his face and into his collar. His leather shoes splashed into ankle-deep puddles, the cold water seeping in and soaking his socks. 

People around him gave him strange looks, but he didn’t care. He pushed past them and started running.

He darted down the sidewalk, weaving through clusters of pedestrians huddled under umbrellas. The city was alive with chaos—horns blaring, people shouting, and the rain drowning everything in its path. 

Finally, He could see the glowing sign for Lotte Hall in the distance. He picked up his pace, his shoes slipping slightly on the wet pavement. 

A gust of wind sent the rain sideways and Jongin hunched his shoulders against the chill. His heart pounded in his chest, more from anxiety than exertion.

He was so close now. Just a few more blocks.

By the time he reached the entrance to Lotte Hall, he was drenched and out of breath. He was a mess—water dripped from his sleeves, his shoes squelched with every step, and he could feel the chill settling deep into his bones.

Jongin slipped into Lotte Hall just as polite applause echoed from within the auditorium. The interview had already started, and his heart sank. 

The warm air of the lobby hit him like a wave, but he barely noticed. He swiped a hand down his face as he walked through the entrance to Lotte Hall, leaving a trail of water on the pristine floor and shoes squelching with every step. He pulled the ticket Sehun had given him from his pocket—now crumpled and damp—and handed it to the usher.

The usher raised a brow at Jongin’s soaked appearance but said nothing, tearing the ticket stub and gesturing toward the auditorium. Jongin nodded, muttering a quick “Thanks,” before making his way inside.

He made his way down the aisle, ignoring the curious glances from the audience members as he passed. His soaked appearance was hard to miss, but he kept his focus on his destination. He spotted Chanyeol’s tall frame almost immediately. The man was sitting near the front, and it didn’t take a genius to know that the seat next to him was reserved for him.

“Holy—what happened to you?” Chanyeol whispered when he got closer.

“Traffic.” Jongin muttered, swiping his wet hair back and shaking out the rainwater from his hands.

He ignored the stares and whispers of the people around him. Whatever Chanyeol was saying lost to him as his eyes landed on Sehun.

There, under the bright lights, was Sehun. He looked stunning, as always, but there was something off. His posture was stiff, his fingers gripping the edges of his chair as if it were the only thing grounding him. The audience wouldn’t notice it, but Jongin did. The moderator had just asked Sehun a question about his upcoming novel. Sehun’s smile faltered as he hesitated, his lips parting slightly, searching for the right words.

Jongin clenched his fists. He could see it—the doubt, the discomfort seeping into Sehun’s usually calm demeanor. This was what Jongin had feared the most, that he wouldn’t be there when Sehun needed him.

But then it happened.

Sehun’s gaze swept over the audience, almost instinctively searching. And then his eyes landed on Jongin.

For a split second, Sehun froze, his lips parting in surprise. Jongin didn’t move, didn’t breathe as he watched the faintest blush rise on Sehun’s cheeks. The corners of Sehun’s lips lifted just slightly, a soft, almost imperceptible smile replacing the tension that had been there moments before. Sehun’s confidence seemed to return in an instant, his shoulders relaxing as he turned back to the moderator and answered the question with ease, his voice steady and assured.

Chanyeol noticed the change immediately, leaning closer to Jongin and muttering, “You see that? That’s all you, man.”

Jongin’s chest swelled with a mixture of pride and relief. He sat back in his seat, rain-soaked and cold, but it didn’t matter. For the first time in what felt like forever, he felt like he was truly a part of Sehun’s world.

࿏

The book launch was a huge success.

Sehun was showered with attention and gifts and congratulations, and it wasn’t surprising, since the novel was his biggest and most popular one yet. Jongin wanted to leap from his seat, but Chanyeol stopped him with a hand on his arm.

“Give him a minute.” Chanyeol whispered. “He’s got fans to deal with first. Let him breathe.”

Jongin reluctantly sank back into his seat, watching as a small crowd of admirers swarmed around Sehun. People were congratulating him, asking for autographs and taking selfies. Despite the chaos, Sehun handled it with grace, but Jongin noticed the faint weariness in his movements, the way his eyes flickered toward the exit.

“He hates this part.” Chanyeol muttered, crossing his arms. “Always has. He likes to keep his distance, even from his fans. It doesn’t come naturally to him, but he tries. He’s good at hiding his discomfort, though.”

He waited until the crowd began to thin, then followed Chanyeol’s lead as they maneuvered through the lingering audience members.

When Sehun spotted Jongin approaching, his eyes widened slightly, a hint of surprise—and what might have been relief—flashing across his face.

“You did it. Congratulations.” Chanyeol was the first one to break the silence. He wrapped his arms around Sehun and hugged him tightly. “I knew you could do it.”

Sehun hugged him back, smiling weakly. “Thanks, Yeol.”

Jongin watched the exchange between the two best friends silently. A bond like theirs was one that would last a lifetime. He had a bond like that once, but it was gone. He was the one who ruined it.

Sehun’s gaze shifted from Chanyeol to him, and for a moment, he forgot how to breathe.

“You came.” Sehun said softly, his voice barely audible over the murmurs of the remaining crowd.

Jongin stood before him, still drenched, the rain dripping from his hair and soaking through his suit. “Of course I came. I promised you, didn’t I?”

Sehun’s lips twitched, caught somewhere between a frown and a smile. “You’re soaked.”

“I didn’t want to miss it.” Jongin said simply.

He held Sehun’s gaze, unflinching, his tone earnest and sincere. It was a stark contrast from the confident, self-assured man that he usually was, but Sehun was different. Sehun made him feel vulnerable, exposed. For a moment, it was just the two of them, standing in the corner of the hall. The bustle of the crowd felt distant, muffled by the weight of the silence between them.

Jongin hesitated, searching for the right words. “You were amazing up there.” He said, his voice sincere. “I mean it. I could see how much they love you—how much you’ve accomplished.”

Sehun shifted on his feet, looking down. “It’s not that big of a deal.”

“It is.” Jongin insisted, stepping closer. “It’s a huge deal. You deserve it, Sehun. All of it. You deserve to be proud of yourself, because I am. I couldn’t be more proud.”

Sehun looked up, meeting his gaze. His eyes were wide and glassy. “Really?”

“Really.” Jongin said.

A soft, almost timid smile formed on Sehun’s lips, his cheeks tinged pink. 

“All right, lovebirds. Let’s get out of here before mister CEO catches a cold.” The moment was interrupted by Chanyeol’s voice. 

They both flinched and turned to him, startled.

“Right. You must be cold.” Sehun nodded.

Jongin smiled sheepishly. “A little bit, yeah.”

Sehun laughed and shook his head, the tension in his shoulders relaxing. He reached out and took Jongin’s hand, squeezing it gently. “Come on. Let’s go.”

He didn’t feel so cold anymore.

࿏

The rain had slowed to a drizzle by the time they arrived at Chanyeol’s house. Chanyeol fumbled with the keys, muttering something under his breath about drenched CEOs ruining his floors. Jongin barely registered it; his gaze was fixed on Sehun’s back, his eyes tracing the slope of his shoulders and the curve of his neck.

The door clicked open, and Chanyeol stepped inside, turning to wave them in. “Alright, come in before you start a puddle on my porch.” He said.

Jongin stepped in hesitantly, his shoes squelching against the hardwood floor. Sehun, without saying a word, reached back and grabbed Jongin’s hand, tugging him gently down the hallway.

“Sehun?” Jongin’s voice was soft, confused.

“Let’s go. We need to get you out of those clothes.” Sehun said simply, glancing back at him for a brief moment before continuing.

Jongin’s heart skipped at the brief contact of their eyes, but he followed silently, letting Sehun guide him through the unfamiliar space. When they reached the bathroom door, Sehun turned to face him, still holding his hand.

“You’re going to catch a cold if you stay like this.” Sehun said quietly, his gaze dropping to Jongin’s soaked shirt. “Take a shower. I’ll find you something to wear.”

Before Jongin could answer, Chanyeol’s voice echoed from the living room. “I’ve got some sweats he can borrow! Unless he wants to squeeze into some of your stuff, Sehun.”

“Chanyeol.” Sehun called back, his voice sharp but tinged with embarrassment. He dropped Jongin’s hand, pushing the door open and gesturing for him to step inside. “Just take the shower.”

Jongin hesitated, his fingers brushing Sehun’s for a fleeting second. “Sehun, thank you.”

Sehun blinked, his expression faltering for just a moment before he nodded. “Don’t mention it.” With that, he stepped back, leaving Jongin alone in the bathroom.

Jongin let out a sigh and leaned back against the door, staring at his reflection in the mirror. His hair was plastered against his forehead, water droplets clinging to his lashes and rolling down his cheeks. He was a mess—soaked and shivering, but underneath the surface, a warmth blossomed in his chest.

He was finally here, and the knowledge that Sehun had wanted him here made his heart swell.

After Jongin stepped out of the shower, he changed into the clothes Chanyeol had left for him. When he walked out of the bathroom, he found Sehun waiting for him by the doorway. Sehun had already changed into something comfortable—a soft, oversized sweater and some joggers—and he was leaning against the wall. Without saying anything, Sehun motioned for him to sit on the edge of the bed, his eyes soft with an unreadable emotion. Jongin hesitated for a moment before sitting down. 

His heart almost beat out of his chest when Sehun settled between his legs, facing him. 

“Hold still.” Sehun murmured, his tone almost fragile as he reached for the towel hanging loosely on his neck. “I’ll help you dry your hair.”

Jongin swallowed hard, his heart hammering at the closeness. His chest tightened as Sehun gently massaged the towel into his hair, the motions slow and deliberate. The warmth from Sehun’s touch spread through him like a comforting, steady pulse. Jongin didn’t know why, but he could feel himself becoming more and more relaxed, his muscles unwinding under Sehun’s care.

Sehun’s hands moved expertly, squeezing out the excess water, before gently running his fingers through Jongin’s hair to untangle the knots. There was no rushing, no awkwardness between them, just the simple comfort of being taken care of.

When Sehun finished drying Jongin’s hair, he didn’t pull away. Instead, he cupped Jongin’s face with both of his hands, his thumb tracing along Jongin’s jawline. Jongin’s heart thudded in his chest, his pulse racing as he met Sehun’s eyes. There was something in Sehun’s gaze—something tender, something raw—that took Jongin’s breath away.

“Jongin.” Sehun’s voice was softer than usual, a slight quiver to it. “I don’t know how to fix everything that’s broken between us. But I want to try.”

Jongin’s heart swelled, and without thinking, his hands moved to Sehun’s hips, pulling him closer. He couldn’t remember the last time they’d been this close, this connected. It felt like a strange, fragile peace had settled between them. Like they were on the edge of something new, but still tethered to their past.

“Sehun I–” Jongin started. “I’ve been so scared. I can’t lose you. Not after everything we’ve been through.”

There. He said it. 

The fear that’s been buried deep in his heart, the one that’s always haunted him, came crawling back. It was a monster, threatening to tear him apart. He needed to let go, to show Sehun the part of himself he’s always tried to hide. His throat closed up, the words stuck. He didn’t realize his eyes were welling with tears until he felt a finger wipe the moisture away.

“You’re not going to lose me.” Sehun’s words were soft and full of certainty. His eyes were wide and glassy, his lower lip trembling. He leaned forward, his breath fanning over his lips. “We can’t change the past, but we can change how we move forward. Together. One step at a time. Just… be here. Be present. Be the person I know you can be. The one I fell in love with.”

Sehun’s words hung in the air, his confession sinking into his skin like a balm. It was what he needed, what they both needed, to bridge the distance between them. The words were out. They couldn’t be taken back, and for a moment, neither of them spoke. They stayed there, in each other’s arms, listening to the sound of their breaths.

Their eyes told them everything, a million words exchanged in a single glance. Their lips grew closer by every passing second, as if pulled by an invisible force. Their noses touched, and their breaths mingled, hot and heavy and–

“Dinner’s ready!”

They froze. The sudden shout from the dining room shattered the moment, and they jerked apart. Sehun’s cheeks flushed a deep pink as he pulled back.

“Coming!” Sehun called out, his voice a little too high-pitched, betraying his flustered state. 

Jongin’s heart hammered in his chest, and he could feel his own face burning. His palms were sweaty, his body buzzing from the rush of adrenaline. Both stayed there, avoiding eye contact, trying to regain their composure.

For a long moment, neither of them spoke, the silence between them thick and awkward. Then, Sehun took a deep breath and reached for Jongin’s hand. Jongin almost screamed when their fingers touched, a jolt of electricity surging through him.

“Come on.” Sehun said, his voice quiet, almost shy. “Let’s go.”

With that, Sehun took Jongin down the hallway and toward the dining room, their hands stayed clasped together. As they approached the dining room, the delicious smell of food hit them. The table was laden with a feast, from a juicy steak to a steaming bowl of rice. Chanyeol was already at the table. He rose his eyebrows at the sight of their hands, and a knowing smirk formed on his lips.

Jongin saw Chanyeol muttered something under his breath. Something like ‘about time’ but he didn’t pay much attention to him. All his attention was on Sehun.

“Now let’s eat. I’m starving.” Chanyeol said with the widest grin on his face.

The rest of the evening passed in a blur. They ate and talked and laughed, the conversation flowing easily between them. And it was easy, being with Sehun and Chanyeol, like coming home after a long journey.

࿏

One and a half year later.

Jongin woke up to the sound of rain hitting the window pane. He groaned and buried his face in something warm and welcoming. He inhaled the scent of sandalwood and vanilla, and he couldn’t help but smile. He opened his eyes and stared at the sleeping form beside him. Sehun was lying on his side, his cheek pressed against the pillow and his eyelids closed. His lips were parted slightly, his breathing slow and steady. He was beautiful, even with his hair sticking up in all directions and his face creased with sleep.

The sound of thunder boomed overhead, and Sehun stirred, his eyes fluttering open. When he saw the familiar sight of his husband, a soft smile appeared on his lips.

“Morning.” he whispered, his voice hoarse with sleep.

“Morning.” Jongin repeated, pressing a small kiss on Sehun’s forehead. 

Sehun let out a content sigh and snuggled closer, burying his face in the crook of his neck. They laid there for a few moments, enjoying the feeling of each other’s warmth. The sound of the rain lulled them into a comfortable silence, and Jongin had never felt more at peace.

Sehun shifted closer and placed his palm on his husband’s chest, feeling the steady beat of his heart.

“I love you.” He said.

Jongin’s breath caught in his throat, his heart skipping a beat. He looked down, his eyes meeting Sehun’s, and the emotions were written clearly on his face. He felt like he was falling in love with Sehun all over again, every day. He moved on top of Sehun and pressed his face to the crook of his neck. Strong arms wrapped around slim waist and pulled the slender body against his own.

“I love you.” he mumbled against the soft skin.

A year and a half has passed since they made up. Sehun moved back to their shared home where they started over again and life was better than ever. Sehun’s novel had sold out in every bookstore in Seoul and he was on his way to become one of the most successful authors of his time. Jongin’s business has also grown significantly. His company was now known internationally, and his brand was expanding rapidly.

Jongin and Sehun’s relationship was stronger than ever. Their love had only grown deeper, and they were more inseparable than ever. Shortly after, they got married with their families and close friends in attendance. It wasn’t perfect. They fought, they made up, and they made love. That was the beauty of their relationship. They weren’t afraid to bare their souls to each other. They were open, honest, and vulnerable.

They pressed their lips together in a tender and slow kiss. They were both content and satisfied with each other’s presence. They didn’t need to rush. They had the whole day to themselves.

“I’ll make us some breakfast.” Sehun said as he broke the kiss. “What would you like?”

“How about you?” Jongin tightened his grip around Sehun’s waist, last night’s memories flashing through his mind. He pressed his lips against his husband’s shoulder and left a trail of kisses on the smooth skin.

“J-Jongin.” Sehun’s breath hitched, and his body shuddered at the sensations. Jongin felt two hands gripping each side of his head to lift it up. He looked up and was greeted by a pair of soft, loving eyes. “Behave.”

Jongin chuckled and released his hold on Sehun’s waist. Sehun smiled and climbed off the bed. He walked over to the bathroom and turned the shower on. But before he could take a step back, he felt a strong body pressed against his back. A pair of lips was pressed against the nape of his neck, and a pair of hands circled around his slim waist.

A small smile appeared on Sehun's lips. He grabbed his husband by the hand and led him into the shower. They stood under the hot water, the sound of water falling from above their heads mingled with the sound of their tongues exploring each other's mouths. They took turns, kissing each other softly as if their lips were delicate as glass. Sehun wrapped his arms around his husband's neck, and he could feel those strong arms around his waist, keeping him close and warm.

It was magical and intimate, and Jongin loved every second of it.

After they finished, they got dressed and headed to the kitchen. Sehun started preparing the ingredients for pancakes, and soon the smell of butter and chocolate filled the room. Jongin couldn't help embracing Sehun from behind, hugging him tight as Sehun flipped the pancakes. Sehun leaned back and tilted his head so their lips could meet in a sweet kiss.

"I love you." Sehun said softly.

Jongin felt like he was falling in love all over again.

"I love you more." He said with a soft smile.

Just as Sehun was stacking the last pancake onto a plate, the doorbell rang. Jongin raised an eyebrow and glanced at the clock. It was barely 8:00 A.M.

"Who could that be so early?" he asked, letting go of Sehun to head toward the door.

Jongin opened the door, and there stood Chanyeol, holding a small bouquet of flowers in one hand and a bag of groceries in the other. His face lit up when he saw them.

"Good morning, lovebirds!" Chanyeol greeted, stepping inside without waiting for an invitation. "I figured you two might want some company for breakfast."

Jongin shook his head with a chuckle. "You could’ve at least called first."

"Where's the fun in that?" Chanyeol grinned, handing the bouquet to Sehun and kissing his cheek. "For the chef. I brought some fresh fruit too."

Sehun took the flowers with a laugh. "Thank you, Chanyeol. And you're just in time—we made plenty of pancakes."

As they settled around the dining table, Chanyeol helped himself to the pancakes, topping them with the fresh fruit he brought. The three of them laughed and chatted, their sound blending perfectly with the gentle patter of rain against the windows. They stayed there for a long time, the warm comfort of being together melting into each other's bones.

The whole time it was filled with happiness. Finally, they were all together, their family of three united once again. Jonginhad been through a lot to get to this point, and it wasn't easy. But in the end, it was worth the trouble. He no longer was afraid to love and to be loved back. He can finally count on his true family.

Finally, he knew what true happiness felt like.

The End <3