Work Text:
— —
“Aoki!”
Aoki craned his neck to see, grinning when he finally spotted a familiar figure among the crowd.
“Hashimoto!”
Hashimoto ran towards him excitedly, backpack swaying behind her as she practically bounced across the station. Aoki welcomed her with equal excitement, jumping over and over where he was standing like a small child.
“It’s been forever since I last saw you!”
“I know!” Aoki wailed, uncaring if everyone in the station could hear. “I have so many things to tell you – but wait, is it really fine for you to come here in your free time? I mean, what about Akkun?”
“It’s completely fine, I’ve always wanted to come after all!” Hashimoto’s eyes sparkled in eagerness. “Besides, Aida is already starting with on-the-job training… they’re always busier on the weekends!”
“I see – that’s great!” Aoki grinned wider, overcome with joy of having his high school best friend visit. “Well, we have so many things to catch up on, but also there are lots of things you should see in Kyoto!”
“I’ll be in your hands.” Hashimoto nodded, her smile bright.
“So… how have things been with Ida?” Hashimoto asked, when they finally settled down in a quaint little cafe with a traditional theme.
Aoki blushed at the question – he had expected Hashimoto to ask about it, but certainly not at the very beginning of their conversation, before she even asked about anything else. Aoki wouldn’t blame her, though. After all, whenever they were having troubles with their relationship back at school, she and Aida were always the first ones he ran to.
“With me and Ida… things are going well, I think…? We were neighbors at the beginning, but two months ago, a larger room freed up in my apartment building and he moved in so… now we’re living together.”
“Living together??” Hashimoto clamped her hands over her mouth, eyes widening in surprise. “How is it?? Oh my, it must be really fun!!”
“Well, there are some things we have just learned about each other.” Aoki chuckled, thinking about the way Ida meticulously arranged the plates by size in their shared cupboard, and the embarrassment when Ida found Aoki’s favorite panda-shaped house slippers for the first time. Hashimoto let out a squeal, looking more excited about it than Aoki himself.
“Sounds exciting! And how’s university?”
“University sucks.” Aoki answered without needing to think, his mood drastically shifting in an instant. They just had some mock tests in the previous couple weeks and safe to say that Aoki's results were… far from satisfactory. Even simply thinking about them brought back all the trauma, and Aoki dropped his head onto the table in defeat.
“Honestly, I have no idea how I’ve survived so far and how I’m gonna survive in the future. I mean, who knows that Food Science has so much math in it??”
Hashimoto giggled, recalling Aoki’s grievances about math back in high school. “Aww. It can’t be that bad though, isn’t it?”
“It literally is that bad.” Aoki groaned, hitting his forehead on the table lightly. “Hashimoto, you know how weak I am with studying, right? At least back in high school I had you guys to help me study, even if Akkun is too much of a clown sometimes…”
“You still have Ida, your math tutor from high school!” Hashimoto reminded him, tapping the table next to Aoki’s head. “You two even live together now… isn’t it easier for him to teach you that way?”
“Not at all… actually, it’s not.” Aoki slowly lifted his head off the table, showing a troubled look. “In fact, I’ve never asked Ida to tutor me in university. Not even once.”
“But why?” Hashimoto frowned ever so slightly. “You guys studied so well together… I mean, your grades went up so much that even Taniguchi-sensei was surprised, right?”
“Yeah, but back then he was taking the same test, so we were basically studying together… this time, we’re in different majors and studying different things. I don’t want to bother him with my stupidity. And he’s been so busy too, with studies and clubs and volunteer activities…”
Ida took up volunteering when they entered the new semester. The Education Department where he studied had a program where university students tutor elementary school kids for free, and Ida jumped at it the moment he was offered. It helped his confidence with teaching, and of course Aoki was proud. But he couldn’t deny that the activities made Ida a lot busier, with even less free time to spend.
He explained the entire thing to Hashimoto, who hummed in understanding. “I see… that does sound pretty difficult to manage…”
She took a sip from her matcha latte and placed the cup gently back on the table, looking at Aoki. “Did you try talking with him about it?”
“Not yet.” Aoki shook his head. “I thought about it… but knowing Ida, I know that he'll absolutely drop everything to help me, and I'd hate to burden him like that. At least, I want to try figuring this out on my own…”
“You really care so deeply about him, don’t you?” Hashimoto smiled, playing with the small spoon that came with her drink. “Even for things like this, you’re being so mindful of Ida’s other responsibilities, which tells me how much you love him. And to think that you used to have a crush on me!”
Aoki choked on his coffee, coughing along with Hashimoto’s laughter. “You still remember that???”
“Of course!” Hashimoto’s laughter subsided into giggles. “That was really a surprise! But we’re basically best friends now, right? And you already have Ida!”
“And you have Akkun.” Aoki took a small sip of water to soothe his burning throat. “What a lucky bastard to end up with someone as kind as you…”
“Your boyfriend is really kind, too.” Hashimoto countered, smiling at Aoki. “You told me it was his kindness that moved you at first, wasn’t it? I’m sure that hasn’t changed until now.”
“You’re right.” Aoki couldn’t help picturing Ida and his gentle smile. “He’s still so incredibly kind.”
“So you can talk to him about your worries.” Hashimoto reassured him. “Just try it.”
Aoki gave her a slow nod. “Maybe I will. Thanks, Hashimoto. You really are my best friend.”
“Sure.” Hashimoto returned the smile with a mischievous glint in her eyes. “Don’t go around having a crush on me now, okay?”
“Oh god, will you please stop bringing it up???”
—
“Math. Will. Be. My. Demise.”
Aoki slammed his forehead on the table, uncaring if it hurt. Class was just over and Aoki could have sworn that there was smoke coming out of his ears from how hard his brain worked.
His classmate snickered, half in sympathy and half in amusement. “Aoki. Come on. It’s not that bad.”
“It is that bad!” Aoki wailed, feeling some sort of deja vu from his conversation with Hashimoto. “I mean, who invented math and why do they have to make it so complicated??”
“I think you did better than last time, though?” Another classmate piped up. “Is it because of your study group thing?”
“Maybe.” Aoki’s voice was slightly muffled, with his face buried in his arms. “It does help some… but still, why is math way harder than it needs to be??”
Aoki first encountered the study group a week ago, after receiving the mock test result and finding out that his grades were nowhere near enough to pass the class. The teaching assistant for the course was a fourth year student, and he kindly informed Aoki of an ongoing tutoring program. With the way things were going, Aoki knew that he did need a tutor, and he agreed to join their session. They’ve had lessons a few times within the week and Aoki had to admit, some of the concepts were much clearer to him now.
“Tachibana-senpai is an awesome tutor, isn’t he?” Aoki’s classmate commented, to the agreement of a few others. “He’s smart and dedicated, and he knows how to explain the most difficult concept in an easy way.”
“And he’s super good looking!” Somewhere in the class, a girl squealed, with another joining her almost immediately.
“He’s smart and handsome, so dreamy! I’m so jealous of you, Aoki…”
“You literally can join the study group anytime.” Aoki replied, still not lifting his head off the table. “It’s not like he’s my private tutor or anything…”
“But still!”
“Is Aoki still here?”
Their conversation was interrupted by a voice coming from the door – and one of Aoki’s classmates chuckled, muttering “Speak of the devil.”
“Get up, Aoki! Tachibana-senpai is looking for you!”
Aoki sat up straight in an instant, finding Tachibana standing nearby with a stack of papers in his arms.
“We’re studying again tonight, right? I printed out some problem examples for us to work on.”
“Thank you so much for your help.” Aoki bowed deeply, taking the papers with both hands.
“See you in the study room, then.” Tachibana waved, adding when he noticed the rest of Aoki’s classmates. “All of you are free to join too, if you’re interested!”
The kids mumbled out vague answers, interspersed with polite chuckles, but Aoki had stopped paying attention to them. He needed to text Ida. Ida had volleyball practice today, and he probably would go straight after evening classes. Meanwhile, Aoki only had free time between afternoon class and the evening study session. It seemed like they wouldn’t meet again today.
Ida read the message ten seconds after it was sent, and Aoki watched his phone screen intently to see how he would respond. Thirty seconds, one minute, two minutes, five minutes.
Ida left him on read.
—
“Aoki, you good? You look distracted.”
Aoki gasped, realizing that he was spacing out, and quickly muttered out a string of apologies. “Yes, I’m fine, I’m so sorry! I was just, uh… wondering how you make this look so easy! I mean, I tried working on this problem on my own, but I just couldn’t figure out how it works until you explained it!”
Tachibana laughed. “Maybe because I nearly failed this course when I was in your year?”
“Seriously? You??” Aoki stared at him in disbelief. “But how come? You’re literally the teaching assistant for this course, and you explained it so well!”
“I mean, still, that’s kind of why.” Tachibana chuckled lightly, scanning through the questions. “I was so stressed about wanting to pass, I practically studied these upside down for an entire month. After working through every single possible problem, the concept came to me naturally, I guess.”
“That’s so amazing.” Aoki glanced alternatingly at the paper and the senior with a transparent look of admiration. He always found people who worked hard to be where they were genuinely inspiring – partly because talent wasn’t something he discovered easily.
“You’re getting there too.” Tachibana smiled and placed the papers back neatly on the table. “No need to overwork yourself, though! We all need a break every now and then. Like a bathroom break right now, for example.”
Tachibana went outside, leaving Aoki alone in the study room. Once he shut the door behind him, Aoki let out a sigh and took a peek at his phone again. There was still no sign of a reply from Ida. Was he angry about something? Maybe the fact that Aoki came home late almost everyday in the past week? They barely saw each other at home, and Aoki thought it was even worse than when they were still neighbors. Living in the same house together, it was easy to think that you can see each other anytime you want, so you just stopped making a conscious effort. But in reality, it was nowhere as easy as Aoki had imagined. Their schedules barely matched. Sometimes, Aoki would come home when Ida was already asleep, and sometimes it was the other way round. Sure, he still tried to at least make some food for Ida, but they rarely got to eat together, too. The irony wasn’t lost on Aoki.
When the door creaked, Aoki quickly shoved his phone back into his bag, ready to focus back on studying. But as the person approached, Aoki looked up, and saw that it wasn’t Tachibana – or anyone he would expect to see in his faculty study room at this hour of night.
It was Ida, still in his volleyball attire and carrying a duffel bag, but also with a heavy-looking plastic bag in his hand.
Aoki stared, dumbfounded, and it took him a whole twenty seconds before he snapped back into real life. “Wait - Kousuke?? What are you doing here? Why? And how did you find me??”
“I asked the senior at the front if I can find Aoki Souta here.” Ida shrugged, nonchalantly dropping his belongings on the table. “I said I just got back from practice and forgot my keys at home… so I’m here to borrow yours.”
Ida’s voice dropped to a whisper. “I told him I was your roommate.”
Aoki blinked. “O-oh. Yes. That’s smart.”
Technically, Ida wasn’t lying. And at the same time, it was a perfectly plausible scenario. A lot of university students have roommates, with an overwhelming majority being the same genders. And considering Ida’s appearance at the moment, his excuse about forgetting his keys made sense too. After all, jocks weren’t known to be all that disciplined.
“And what’s this?” Aoki gestured at the plastic bag on the desk, next to Ida’s duffel bag. Looking at it closely, he noticed that the plastic bag was from a convenience store nearby. Ida opened the bag, revealing a bunch of packaged rice balls, along with various other snacks and drinks.
“Thought you might not have time to have a proper dinner, so I decided to drop some snacks for you and your tutor.”
“Oh wow, thanks! You really don’t have to!”
“Don’t mention it. It’s just stuff from the store. I picked them up after practice today.” Ida rubbed the back of his head, a telltale sign when he had something else to say, but was having difficulties saying it. “It’s not just that, anyway… I needed an excuse to see you.”
Aoki was puzzled. “To see me?”
“To see who you were studying with.” Ida finished on a low note, sounding almost hesitant to say it. Aoki was silent for a moment as he attempted to comprehend what Ida was saying. When he finally did, his eyes quickly widened and he started to sputter.
“W-what do you mean?? I–”
“It’s not like I don’t trust you or think you would ever cheat or anything!” Ida quickly interjected, trying to reassure Aoki. Aoki shut up in an instant, and Ida started fidgeting slightly as color began to creep behind his ears. “Just… I’m kind of jealous, you know? I mean, I’m always right there, but you chose to go out and study with someone else. If I can’t even support you… what use am I as your boyfriend, then?”
It wasn’t the first time Ida ever referred to himself as boyfriend , but the word still sent tingles through Aoki’s spine. Besides, despite having no one around, it was the first time they talked so intimately in a public setting. Aoki couldn’t say he hated it, though he did hate the way his heart beat twice as fast. He was definitely blushing as badly as Ida was, if not worse.
But right now, he didn’t want to waste time being flustered. Ida just laid his heart bare in front of Aoki, openly telling him how he felt. It didn’t matter how straightforward Ida had always been, it definitely takes a certain kind of maturity for him to communicate so clearly. For a moment, Aoki was filled with admiration and shame at the same time. Admiration for Ida and shame towards himself.
“Kousuke, listen, I…” Aoki stuttered, stopping to compose himself for a second before continuing. “I’m sorry for not considering your feelings. It’s just that…”
He paused, looking down.
“You were always doing so much for everyone. Your studies, the volleyball club… and now, you also volunteered for the Education Department’s free tutoring program. You already have so much on your plate. How could I possibly add to that? At least, when you come home, I want you to rest and relax…”
“But I also want to spend some time with my lover.” Ida answered, staring at Aoki’s hand on the table. “I really miss you. I don’t want to see you only when you’re asleep. I love the lunch boxes you made for me, but I want to help make them too. When I’m spending time with you… no matter what I do, that’s when I feel the most relaxed.”
At the deep end of Aoki’s nose, something stung, and he quickly breathed out when he realized that his eyes were starting to fill with tears. When he tried to speak, his voice was a little hoarse, but he managed to say the sentence out loud. “I miss you too. I really do. And I'm sorry.”
Ida noticed Aoki’s glassy eyes – he always did – and quickly pointed at the question sheets to distract him, gesturing towards some of the problems. “These concepts – we learn these in my classes too. I’m a Science Education major, remember? Some details may be different but I’m pretty sure I can teach you these.”
Aoki sniffled, blinking back his tears and smiling as his gaze followed Ida’s fingertips down the sheet. “That sounds good. Yeah, I’ve been struggling with it. I think having Ida-sensei teach me will be great.”
“It’s a date, then?”
Aoki looked up, finding Ida already looking at him with the same warmth as always. The loving gaze that pierced Aoki’s heart and flooded him with affection all at the same time.
“It’s a date.” Aoki affirmed, and he could’ve sworn that Ida’s smile at that moment lit up the room.
“I guess I should head home, then.” Ida broke their eye contact to glance at his watch. “Good luck with your studies, Souta. Don’t forget to rest and eat.”
“Oh. Of course. It’s getting late.” Aoki nodded, scrambling to tidy up his papers. “I think I’m just gonna work on this a bit more, and then I’ll head home. Be careful on your way home, okay?”
Ida stood up to gather his belongings, and ruffled Aoki’s hair slightly just before turning to leave. “See you at home.”
Aoki watched Ida’s back until he disappeared behind the door, letting out a long exhale to slowly bring himself down. Despite the rough beginning of their story, Aoki never regretted falling in love with Ida, and he certainly never regretted confessing to the latter. It hasn’t always been easy navigating a relationship like this, but they made it work each time. Whenever Aoki thought about how far they had come from the beginning, it filled him with a sense of gratitude. Being able to slowly mature alongside the person you love… it was a blessing he would never take for granted.
“Wow, that’s a lot of food.”
Tachibana’s voice woke him from his stupor, and Aoki looked up to find the senior walking towards him.
“Did the guy from earlier bring these?” He pointed at the pile of rice balls, and Aoki nodded, gesturing to invite him to dig in. As Tachibana sat down and unwrapped one, Aoki belatedly realized that his senior’s bathroom break had been a long one. A little too long, and a little uncanny given the situation.
He stared at Tachibana, wanting to ask but afraid to question him directly. Tachibana seemingly felt the gaze, but he merely sent Aoki a knowing glance before busying himself with the salmon rice ball once again.
“He’s a good one, that guy.”
Tachibana suddenly commented in between bites, and Aoki held back a relieved smile at the understanding between the lines. Finally relaxing, he took a rice ball for himself, slowly unwrapping it while thinking of Ida’s smile.
“Yeah. He really is.”
— —