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“So that’s your answer?”
“Yes. There’s someone I want to protect.”
Makoto was always tired. Akihiko always told him that if he didn’t get more sleep, he would turn into a ghost one day. But this… was different. After they had defeated Nyx, Makoto found it difficult to make it through the day. He barely slept and whenever he did, he’d wake up in just 2 hours. He was exhausted, especially since none of the others remembered anything. Except Aigis.
Aigis had locked herself in her room, no doubt ruminating and scared of letting herself face SEES. Makoto was tired, but Aigis was family. So he forced himself to knock on her door for weeks before the robot opened the door, looking like a grief-stricken sister. He forced himself to make her talk to the rest of her family, even if she wasn’t able to tell the truth. And he forced himself to hold back his tears when Aigis told him about her new resolution. Because when Aigis told him about how ephemeral life was, he came to a realisation.
Ever since that day, when he made that decision, he knew his life would eventually fade, and he’d become the barrier between man and death. The cost of saving everyone else was this life that he’d come to treasure. He’d accepted that. But there was someone who didn’t. And he was hanging on as long as he could but he was losing a piece of himself, every time he let himself rest. And if he got any more sleep, he wouldn’t have been able to attend graduation day. And that simply wouldn’t do. After all, there was someone special in his life, who despite forgetting everything, never forgot the love they shared. If he didn’t tell her goodbye, he’d never forgive himself.
And so, he made a decision. If the life he’d found was going to fade out, he’d make sure that his flames would live beyond him. Because in his life, he found something that was more precious than anything. His love.
Makoto sat on his bed; eye’s tired as his mind drifted to memories of her. The way she played with her hair when she was nervous, the way her eyes lit up when she was happy. She loved, unconditionally. She led. Because she cared. And though it had taken some time for him to understand the lesson that she had been teaching him this whole time, it wasn’t lost on him. Because a few months ago, he found out how much he cared too. He loved this world, which was why despite being tired, he’d started a new tradition of simply walking through Tatsumi Port Island. His baggy eyes drifted to the takoyaki stand where she learned to allow herself the little joys in life. The bookstore where the two of them saw an old love blossom into a persimmon tree. Said persimmon tree which they planted together, relocated, so that the memories of a loved one wouldn’t fade. The theatre where he fell in love. The shrine where she did. On the day before graduation, he thought about going to the rooftop. But that was a pain. He was tired, and the school didn’t have stairs. So he waited. Until graduation day came, and he sat in the seats to see her speech. He loved her voice. He loved her bleeding pupils. He loved inherent love for humanity. He loved her desire to protect it. He loved her. He loved her so much. And then, the dam broke. After ten years, he let a stray tear fall from his right eye. Because as much as he loved her, he knew, that he’d have to let go today. Because he loved her.
Next, a word from the valedictorian…
From Class D, Mitsuru Kirijo-san...
“Thank you.
This past year, I accepted an important responsibility as Student Council President.
When I first addressed you from this podium, I spoke to you all about seizing opportunity while you had the chance…
It must have been fate that intervened and gave me an important reminder of this…
As many of you may know, my father unexpectedly…
He unexpectedly passed away, due to sudden illness…
Sudden illness?”
With that, Makoto’s eyes widened. Because he knew, at that moment, Mitsuru had remembered. And from the looks of it, the others had started to remember instead. But Mitsuru’s eyes flashed with recognition. At that moment, Makoto realised just how hard his girlfriend had been fighting to remember. Just how many nights she sat through, staying awake with him, that he hadn’t realised until now. He realised just how much…
She loved him…
“I remember now… That’s right. After my father died, there was a time I lost my motivation to live my life. But no longer. I shall honor my father’s will. I won’t run from the future… I’ll face it head on. Not a single doubt remains in my mind. And the reason…”
She looked at the rest of SEES and smiled, as they gathered behind the attendance hall. Sanada stood up from his seat and winked at Mitsuru as Junpei and Yukari flashed her a grin, and for a second, Makoto thought he could hear Akihiko and Yukari mouth the words, “You owe us.”
She turned to Makoto, and his heart stopped for a second.
“It’s because I have forged such wonderful friendships… We swore that we would never lose hope, no matter what the future may bring!”
Mitsuru jumped off the podium and smiled at Makoto, though the weight behind her eyes made Makoto’s chest feel heavy. She smiled at him and as if telepathically, she looked upwards, Makoto knew where he had to go. Where he could say goodbye.
As Makoto staggered up the stairs, he coughed red into his glove before wiping it away with his handkerchief. He knew, he wasn't going to be able to hold on any longer, but if he could sit through her speech, the least he could do for her was tell her goodbye. As he exhaustedly threw open the door, the sunlight hit him. He leaned on the wall with a smile on his face as he saw her, standing on top of the roof, with a rose nestled between her ears and her hair. A tender smile grew on her face as she faced him, and as the sakura petals flowed through the sky, he could only think one thing. Beautiful. Mitsuru. Kirijo.
"Long time no see."
Staggering turned to walking. And walking turned to sprinting before he tripped, and almost fell face first on the ground, before Mitsuru had jumped forward to catch him. Every breath was heavy now. And as she walked him to the bench, and laid his head in her lap, his mind flashed back to how many ends he had seen.
He thought about his mother, who had, through the burning flames of metal managed to convey a single word: “Live.”
He thought about Aragaki who had entrusted the lives of his comrades to Makoto. Who taught Makoto that even if you distance yourself from your family, you can’t stop yourself from loving them.
He thought about Takeharu-san, who gave his life for SEES, some random teenagers whom he barely interacted with. Because he believed in them.
Death had never brought comfort to Makoto. Until today. Thanatos held his heart in place, and eventually, he’d grant the blue haired boy, a peaceful death.
As the Sakura petals fell on them, Mitsuru sighed and smiled at him again.
“You always said spring was your favourite season. I’m just glad I was able to welcome it with you for the first time. I’m sorry for being away for so long… Even when I wasn’t dealing with business in the Kirijo Group, I couldn't bring myself to face you. It’s because somewhere, in the corner of my mind, there was a truth that I had been dreading. All this time, I wanted to turn away from it. If I forgot it, if I forgot you, maybe you wouldn’t have to go away. But you are going away, aren’t you? And you’re not coming back this time… You really are cruel, you know. Giving me your love, only to snatch it away from me before I can truly treasure it…”
Mitsuru barely cried. She was strong. But now, with the love of her life in her hands, fading away, she couldn’t help it. Her voice crackled as her eyes narrowed. And again, the tears wouldn’t stop flowing.
“I fought with you, to protect this world. I never knew the meaning of life, but I still fought to protect it, because I felt like I needed to atone.”
She turned to Makoto, a bittersweet smile flooded across her face.
“But you made me realise that even the life I led had value. It had worth. And together, as we lived together, we found the meaning to life. That day, in Kyoto, before I decided to live again, you came to me. Despite the fact that I hadn’t made time to spend with you, you held my hand and told me:
‘Senpai, your father loved you. He lived for you. So, it’s only fair that you lived for him…'
I didn’t understand what you had told me, until the day we fought Nyx. The meaning that we searched for… together, I can see it now. It doesn’t exist. There was no divine plan, no fate that would control our destinies. There is only you, me and this wonderful world. Because fortune drew the end of the line and tried to stop us from living. But we fought to protect this world. Together. We stared death in the face. Together. And we made it to the other side, together.”
Mitsuru couldn’t stop crying.
“So please, don’t leave me here. Live for me, please. I know it’s selfish. But I want you by my side. I love you so much, I don’t want to lose you again.”
Mitsuru gasped as a gloved hand reached her eye and wiped the tears off her cheek. Her face was red, but Makoto’s words were as clear as they were strained…
We’ll meet again. I’m sure of it.
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t be so selfish… The others are on their way. They gave me a head start, I guess they found out about us, huh?” Despite the tears, Mitsuru let out a chuckle. “They have no idea about what’s happening to you… I’m sure they’ll be devastated. But I don’t want you to worry. Because when I thought about how I might never see you again, something inside me clicked. Nothing on this earth lasts forever. Every life will one day fizzle out... It doesn’t make the loss of it any less painful though. When I lost Shinji, you were there for me. Just as you were there for me when I lost father. You comforted me, because I needed help. You were there for me, even when I lost the most important people in my life, just like you were there for Yukari in Yakushima, and you were there for Akihiko after he lost Shinji. And now that you’re going to leave us, I promise you, I will be there for them all. I will never let them forget how much you loved them, and how much I do too.”
Mitsuru’s voice stopped at a whisper as she hugged Makoto. His arms around her waist made her feel warm, but her chest felt heavier than ever.
“So, go ahead and rest now. You must be so tired… I’m right here with you, I’ll wait forever for you, for the day that we may meet again. For now, though, I want you to be at peace. Because I love you. I always will.”
No matter what happens, we will always be together.
And with that, Makoto closed his eyes.