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Spock first becomes aware of Cadet Nyota Uhura when her name appears on the roster for his class on Advanced Vulcan phonology.
The year she takes the class there are 322 other students who sign up for it. While Spock estimates that only about 72% actually show up to the class on a regular basis, he is certain that that 72% of the class is just as aware of Cadet Uhura’s talent for the language as he is. In addition to being one of the few students to regularly volunteer to answer the questions he poses to the large class, she also consistently answers correctly and with impeccable pronunciation.
When she passes with by far the highest grade in the class, he suggests she take his seminar, Vulcan Language as a Cultural Artifact. When he tells her that he believes she would do well in it and provide thoughtful insight to the class discussions, it is because it is true. She assures him that she will take his suggestion under consideration.
It is pleasant to find her name on his roster the following semester.
The seminar has only 15 students, all of whom regularly attend class, likely because participation is a significant part of their grade. Given this incentive, Cadet Uhura is no longer notable for being one of the few students to speak in class. Nonetheless, she continues to stand out as an excellent student and a brilliant mind. While her pronunciation continues to be notable for its perfection (“I have a good ear,” she tells him when he finally compliments her on it), it is also clear that she engages in the subject matter with much more passion and drive than her fellow students. She frequently stays after class in order to debate the significance of Vulcan’s lack of gendered pronouns despite the three gender system for adjectives, or the implications behind the similar irregular conjugations of the verbs “to occur” and “to suggest.”
Spock generally finds that he enjoys these debates. He will later wonder whether this enjoyment entirely stemmed from his appreciation of the intellectual challenge. At the time, it does not occur to him to overanalyze.
It goes without saying that she also passes his seminar with flying colors. When she comes to his office to present him with counterevidence to the claim that languages containing a past imperative tense tend to be associated with cultures that heavily value the wisdom of authority figures, he asks her to TA for him. Not three weeks later, she asks him to be her thesis director.
Though Spock never quite manages to pinpoint the exact moment, somewhere over the course of the two semesters he serves as her thesis director and she as his TA, he starts think of her as Nyota instead of Cadet Uhura.
*****
Other parts of their dynamic begin to change during those two semesters.
For one, their discussions stop being entirely academic in nature. Though they certainly spend a significant proportion of their time together working, they also discuss each other’s childhoods. They compare the subjects taught and learned in Vulcan and United African primary schools. What starts off as allusions to his difficulty learning to adhere to both Vulcan and Terran standards of behavior turns into him detailing the reasons for the frigidity of his relationship with his father. In turn, she discusses the varying degrees of culture shock she experienced when she moved to Spain for her undergraduate studies, when she studied abroad for a year on Vulcan, and when she came to San Francisco to do her graduate work at Starfleet Academy. She talks about the way her mother, whose brother died in the mysterious attack on the Kelvin, cried and cried when she told her of her plans to work as a Communications Officer aboard a Starship.
He learns that she, like he, grew up equally in fluent in three languages. His were Vulcan, Standard and English. Hers were Arabic, Swahili, and Kuyu. He learns that, in addition to these three, Standard, and Vulcan, she also speaks several dialects of English, French, Spanish, Portuguese, Romulan, Orion, Andorian, Klingon, Mandarin, Russian, and Cardassian, all with advanced to proficient fluency.
“Given that only eight languages are required as a prerequisite to serve as a communications officer,” he tells her, “I believe I could submit a reference for you serve in Academy’s long range sensor lab in good conscience. It seems that you might actually over qualify.”
“Maybe once my thesis is done. Given the shaky relationship the Federation currently has with Orion, I think I could probably stand to become a little more proficient with that before I start doing actual field work anyway.” Herein follows a small tirade about her roommate, who is apparently Orion and, though Nyota loves her to pieces, has an unfortunately limited understanding of the fact that quiet hours tend to preclude sexual relations. He tells her a few choice stories about his old roommates before they both finally return to their work.
*****
In retrospect, Spock supposes he should have begun analyzing the changing dynamics of his relationship with Nyota when he began dreaming about her. He can never quite remember any of the other details of these dreams, just that she is featured in them.
Spock mentions this, presumably small and unimportant detail, to First Officer Trebbador of the USS Phoenix, a friend who graduated the same year he did. He means it only to be a throwaway comment during a farewell lunch planned as a result of the fact that the Phoenix, along with a significant proportion of the rest of the fleet, is scheduled to leave for the Laurentian system the next day.
“Spock,” Trebbador begins, mock seriously as Spock returns to his plomeek soup, “Is there something going on between you and one of your students that you haven’t been telling me about?”
Spock experiences momentary confusion at this suggestion. He believes that it can be inferred that Trebbador is alluding to sexual relations, which would mean that the answer to Trebbador’s question is ‘no,’ but for no discernible reason he pauses with his soup spoon halfway to his mouth cannot immediately answer.
Trebbador guffaws, and apparently interprets Spock’s confusion as incredulity. “Right, who am I to suggest that top of our class, soon to be First Officer of the Enterprise, would be even marginally involved in some sort of steamy love affair with a student? Ha!” He chortles, then, wiping his eyes, he says, “Ah, you clearly don’t appreciate my fantastic sense of humor. Anyways, did you hear? Apparently one of the fourth year cadets has declared his intent to be the first to pass the Kobayashi Maru – ”
Though he would never admit it, Spock is relieved by the change in subject. He later decides that it is far too time consuming to contemplate the tangled implications associated with Trebbador’s question, especially with midterms approaching, and decides that it is only logical to enjoy Nyota’s company with so many of his friends now en route to the Laurentian system.
Nonetheless, he acutely becomes aware of the little ways that Nyota keeps a careful physical distance in their interactions. Though he does not mention it to her in conversation, he is fairly certain that she is respecting the fact that his people, as touch telepaths, limit physical touch to family and close friends.
It does not occur to him to analyze whether he is pleased by her observance of his people’s concept of decorum or if he wishes her attention to propriety would be more lax.
*****
Nyota defends her thesis early, as she had planned to do. As they both knew going into her defense, she does exceedingly well.
Though her thesis is complete, Spock knows that Nyota’s last semester will see her very busy with her new work in the long range sensor lab and her other commitments.
He is not surprised when she turns down his offer to have her TA for him for a third semester, though he will admit to his disappointment. Quietly, he hopes she is assigned to the Enterprise so that they might serve alongside each other. He does not believe that this is an unreasonable hope as she is more than qualified to be assigned to the most prestigious ship of the fleet.
He is surprised when she shows up at his door the next night.
Though he does not think that they had any remaining business to complete, he lets her in.
“Is there remaining paperwork you require me to sign?” It is the only thing he can think of; paperwork frequently seems to defy logic.
“What? Oh, no. I just. I – ” she bites her lip and does not continue.
“You are wet,” he realizes, watching as drops of water periodically bead at the ends of her hair and fall onto his carpet. She also seems slightly out of breath. Spock feels slightly foolish, both for not immediately noticing and for making such an obvious statement.
“Oh,” she looks down at her soaked clothing, confirming that she is, indeed, quite wet. “Yes. I am. It’s raining. Oh, I’m dripping all over your floor too.” She laughs, though the sound is somewhat shaky.
“It is of no consequence.”
There is a pause. Spock tries to determine whether or not there is a tactful way to ask Nyota why she is here without implying that he is unenthusiastic about her presence.
Nyota saves him from having to figure out how to express his thoughts. “I, well.” She crosses her arms over her chest and looks him in the eye, “I ran all the way here, in the rain, because,” she pauses before rushing through her next words, carefully maintaining eye contact, “I wanted to ask if you would be interested in going to dinner with me.”
Spock considers her proposition and finds that he likes it. “That would be permissible.”
Nyota blinks, but otherwise does not show signs of surprise. She takes a quick breath. “Good.”
Spock checks the time. “It is nearly midnight, so I doubt anywhere suitable would be open right now.”
She purses her lips, “Oh. Right. Of course. Tomorrow then.”
“That sounds acceptable. Perhaps we could meet at 1900 hours.”
“Yes. Okay then.” She starts to turn around, as if she is going to leave, then she turns back. “I also came here, in the rain, at midnight, to ask you if,” she licks her lips, “if it would be acceptable for me to kiss you. Right now, I – before I leave.”
Spock cocks his head but summarily fails to form a single rational thought before he answers. “I… believe it would be.”
She holds eye contact for a long second before she steps in.
She lightly touches her right hand to his jaw and he distantly feels the cold wetness of her fingers alongside her combined embarrassment and desire before she closes her eyes, turns her head and brings her lips to his.
Her lips are warmer than her fingers, but still cold, and they push much harder against him. Instead of contemplating the link between the pleasurable nature of the kiss and the comparatively large number of nerve endings in both human and Vulcan lips, Spock closes his eyes, and pushes back. What started as one hand on his jaw somehow becomes both on either side of his face, Nyota pulling him closer. His hands find her hair, her wet tangled hair, and become entwined in it. The embarrassment he felt from her fades against her burning, growing desire, desire he can no longer differentiate from his own. He feels her tongue slide past his teeth, and her arms wrap around him. His thumbs come to rest behind her ears, his hands deep in her hair.
She pulls away first. Tucking her wet hair behind her ears once she’s helped him disentangled his hands from her it, she says, “Dinner. Tomorrow. 1900 hours. I’ll meet you here.”
“Yes. That will work.” He follows her back to the door and closes it behind her.
It takes some effort to convince himself that it would be illogical to chase after her in the rain. After all, he reflects as he places a towel on the floor to soak up the rain water, they have already made plans to meet tomorrow and he is not quite sure what he would want say or do should he catch up with her.
*****
Their first dinner turns into many more, with more kissing interspersed between their dates. Sex too.
Though Spock is not really certain if he expected anything otherwise, the sex and the lack of official academic business are the only two factors that truly mark that their relationship has changed. Conversation remains as engaging and interesting as ever, if more straightforward and transparent in their shared desire to learn as much as possible about each other.
Nonetheless, though Spock has long since been aware that his childhood on Vulcan has been the source of a variety of difficulties in understanding and sympathizing with more beings less prone to hiding their emotions, a small worry forms when he receives his end of semester student evaluations. Though he is not surprised to find a pattern of criticism on his frequent failures to recognize or consider emotional niceties, they prompt the formation of a small fear that his failings in the emotional arena could have negative consequences on the fledgling relationship he shares with Nyota.
With her finals completed, Nyota leaves San Francisco for a week to spend time her family in Kenya. When she returns, he meets her at the shuttle pad and she spends the night with him.
They lie in bed together, both partially unclothed from lovemaking, when Nyota, tucked beneath Spock’s arm, gives an unprompted confession.
“I wish I could tell people, about us. I mean, I guess there might be something of a thrill to all the secrecy. But, well, maybe it’s that that’s not as exciting when no one even suspects anything of us.” She gives a small laugh, “I guess we’re too good at being discreet. I don’t know. I just… sometimes I just wish I could tell my friends about… what we have.”
Spock is somewhat confused by this admission. While Starfleet does not specifically forbid consensual sexual/romantic relationships between students and instructors, it is clear nonetheless that such relationships are frowned upon given the importance of the merit system in the process of deciding assignments. Should anyone discover their relationship, it could have far reaching effects on their careers, especially Nyota’s as she could be accused of courting favoritism.
While he doubts that Nyota has forgotten the agreements they made when discussing the parameters of their relationship over that first dinner, he says, “We did both decide, when we began our relationship, that is would be unwise to publicly reveal our status as a couple.”
Nyota snuggles closer and lays her hand on his chest, her fingertips dancing. While the rhythm is slightly distracting, Spock finds that it is a pleasurable distraction. “I understand the logic. What I wish… I don’t want you to think that I am proposing that we tell anyone. It’s just that, I’m happy with you, and I guess sometimes I wish I could share this happiness with other people.”
Spock recognizes now that her confession was not a proposal for a change in the politics of their relationship, but rather indirect commentary on her satisfaction with their relationship. With this made clear, he realizes that he shares the sentiment.
“I too am happy with our relationship. I believe I can also partially understand why you would wish to tell people about us.”
Nyota’s fingers stop their dance and she rolls over and braces herself above him, looking him in the eye and allowing him to see the smile on her face. “You say it so enthusiastically.”
Before Spock has time to sort out the possible meanings embedded in the inflections of her voice and determine whether or not and what type of response is expected of him, Nyota brings her lips to his and kisses him.
As he gets a head start on the paperwork for the next semester, a couple of facts fall into place, beginning with the realization that his confusion at her confession was based on a his failing to understand her underlying emotions. He then recognizes how careful she in was her explanation of her illogical desire to tell others about them and how successful her patient explanation was in helping him to understand her feelings. He pauses in the midst of revising the syllabus for his lecture on Vulcan Phonology to retrospectively appreciate how well she understands him.
*****
The spring semester begins. Spock considers his engagement to T’Pring. He decides that if he and Nyota reach a seventh month anniversary, he will discuss the matter with both women and begin the process of breaking the bond established by the arranged pairing.
Between her classes, her position as a translator in the long range sensor lab, her job as a Kobayashi Maru administrator, her post as president of the Xenolinguistics club, and her part as a soprano in the Starfleet Choir, Nyota is as busy as expected. Spock is also quite busy with his lecture and seminar on Vulcan language, his ongoing research on the relative abundances of matter and antimatter in interstellar space, his unofficial job as a programmer for a variety of Starfleet’s simulation tests, and his responsibilities in the preparations for the maiden voyage of the Enterprise. The abundance of their respective responsibilities has the entirely foreseen but still disappointing result of limiting the time available for them to see each other.
As such, Spock is unable to confer with Nyota before he is required to make suggestions for the ship assignments of her class of Cadets. He is simultaneously pleased and chagrined at Nyota’s entirely logical challenge to his needless attempt to dispel appearances of favoritism.
A month later, in the course of sorting through mission reports, a statistic reporting that only 17 members of the Farragut’s crew of 1,573 survived will catalyze a sickening realization that had Nyota failed to demand her rightful appointment aboard the Enterprise, Spock could very well have found himself responsible for her death.
*****
The sheer luck that pulls the Enterprise and its crew through their first mission does little to minimize the emotional toll of losing his mother and his planet. Spock doubts he will ever be able to successfully sort out details the maiden voyage of the Enterprise in any rational, logical manner. Nor will he ever be able to reconcile the myriad failures on that first mission with the Federation’s decision to issue Medals of Honor to the entirety of the surviving crews of all involved ships.
*****
Spock’s first shift on the bridge of the Enterprise as First Officer to Captain James T. Kirk is notable only for its lack of complications. The relative quiet, especially in contrast to the mayhem of the past few weeks, leaves Spock’s mind free to wander.
Not able or ready to further process the destruction of Vulcan or the associated losses, he spends the first three hours of his shift reflecting on the conversation he had with the other Spock. A not insignificant amount of this contemplation revolves around the edict to abandon logic in favor of doing “what feels right.” Though he suspects the answer is more obvious than he is willing to admit, some part of Spock still wonders if he knows how to do that.
Nyota’s shift ends and she leaves the bridge. An hour remaining on his, Spock considers the handful of small and unexpected benefits that have come alongside the enormous losses left in the wake of the barely resolved chaos.
For one, thanks to Nyota’s rapid advancement to lieutenant, her rank is now high enough that any further permanent promotions would have to come down from the admiralty. Thus, fears that their relationship might be perceived as a possible foundation for undue favoritism are no longer relevant as neither of them is in a position to grant the other substantial inappropriate career help. He carefully does not think about the fact that his mother’s death has eliminated his father’s distant but cold disapproval of his son’s career choices, and instead notes the fact that Kirk’s unconventional approach to captaincy provides further assurance that Spock need not worry about the loss of the secrecy shrouding his and Nyota’s relationship.
When his shift is over, he goes to her room instead of his. He knocks, and she answers her door promptly, perhaps expecting him.
“So,” she says, as he crosses her threshold and gets settled on the foot of her bed, “I thought you were resigning from Starfleet and going to help with the establishment a Vulcan colony.” Her hand comes to rest on his, and from that touch he can feel her happiness at his decision to stay, happiness long since betrayed by the wide smile she gave him when he walked onto the bridge four hours prior to petition for his assignment as First Officer.
“That was indeed my plan. I hope that you will forgive me for not informing you of its change, though, in my defense, it was fairly last minute.”
“I see. Perhaps you would care to regale me with the details that prompted your change of mind,” she says, expertly arching an eyebrow. Spock recalls catching her practicing in front of his bathroom mirror one morning, perhaps five weeks ago.
He does not immediately respond.
Instead, he contemplates the curve of her nose, the definition of her jaw. He remembers the way the she laughed when she noticed him watching her try to push her eyebrows into place, the sound at first defensive, then appreciative of some comment he made. He thinks of the way her eyes crinkled and the simple pleasure from the sensation caused by the peck of her lips against his cheek before she resumed her morning ministrations.
He considers the answer to her question. While it is not a particularly long story, it is complicated by its conflation with both emotional prerogatives and alternate timelines. Of course, the truth of the matter is that he suspects she will understand everything far better than he does.
Perhaps the advice of his doppelganger is a factor in his failure to answer promptly. Or perhaps his alternate choice of action is simply logical with the ways in which the future seems to be leading them.
Whatever the reason, he kisses her.
“Nyota,” he asks once they break apart, “would it be permissible if I stayed the night?”