Chapter Text
“Jiroutachi…? A word with you…”, Taroutachi began almost a bit unsurely, standing there in the doorway to their shared room in the citadel.
It had been such a nice day for Jirou, drinking in peace as he browsed through the new fashion magazines he’d been given by the Sage as a reward for good work. But he was always happy to see his big brother, beaming a cheerful smile up at him from where he was sat on the floor.
“What about, aniki?”
Taroutachi felt a small twinge of sadness at the thought of having to turn that smile into a frown, but this was a matter that had bothered him for a very, very long time now.
He didn’t make a move to sit with Jiroutachi on the floor, simply closing the door behind himself, much to Jirou’s confusion.
“It is about your drinking. I know you do not want to discuss this, but it’s necessary we have the discussion.”
That certainly made the smile fade off of the younger brother’s face, replaced by an uncomfortable pout. He always hated having the talk with anyone when it came to his drinking habits. Most of all when it was someone like Tarou, who did it out of worry. That was the annoying part. Treating him like he wasn’t a grown adult who could make his own choices…
“I don’t wanna talk about that today,” he huffed, turning back to his magazines pointedly to dismiss the discussion.
But Taroutachi would not let him off that easy.
Taking a knee next to him, Tarou very gently took Jirou’s hands in his, making the younger brother sigh before facing him again.
“I’ve discussed this with the others, and we’ve all agreed to help you kick the habit. But I need for you to agree to it too. It’ll be impossible to help you heal, if you’re not receptive to it.”
“...I hate that. Please don’t talk to others about me as if I don’t have agency of my own, aniki,” Jirou spoke with an unexpected seriousness to his tone, when it was usually hard to get him to be serious at all.
It left Tarou a bit stunned for a moment. He’d expected something much more wet and tearful, not an accusation that actually sent a needle through his heart. He had certainly been a bit… Jirou was right about that.
“I am your big brother. I need you to do this for me, if not for yourself.”
“... Will it be fully cold turkey, or do I get to still drink?”, Jirou finally asked after a long pause. A spark of hope for Taroutachi, who was quick to respond.
“I think at first we should go fully without it. After you’ve kicked the addiction, it’ll be fine to have a sip here and there, during celebrations and so on. But no getting drunk anymore. No blackouts, no all-nighters, no more hangovers.”
That certainly made Jirou’s expression sour. He’d dreaded that response.
“No. Meet me halfway. Compromise with me,” Jirou demanded with fully expected frustration. Tarou wanted to stay strong, keep his word and stand his ground, but… it was so hard to look into Jirou’s eyes, so full of anger, like he’d rarely ever seen before.
Those were childish demands of him to make, but Tarou couldn’t help seeing that this would only end in a standstill if he did not at least hear Jirou out on his suggestion.
“Alright… let’s compromise. What do you want in return for your sobriety?”
“No stopping suddenly. Wean me off if you have to, but I am not going to quit suddenly… I’m scared of what that’ll do to me,” Jirou added a little more quietly, clearly dreading how the withdrawals might look after years of heavy drinking.
“And—.... you will let me keep dating Nihongou.”
Taroutachi had been fully ready to say something in return, but the last words sent his brain into such a short-circuit that he found it hard to even comprehend the first of it.
What?
Date who?
Keep dating? Had he been dating someone to begin with?
Nihongou? The drunkard good-for-nothing Tarou had never liked in the first place?
Him of all people?
Jiroutachi held his ground, however, his lips set in a determined pout, as he watched his brother go through a million thoughts as he processed the new information.
“You… what?”
“I said — you will let me keep dating Nihongou.”
“You were dating…before?”
“... Yes.”
That part, the ‘keep dating’ was what had clung to his brain. It made no sense. If those two had been dating already, he had not known about it. Which was impossible. Jiroutachi told him everything. Every single small detail, he would let Tarou know of. They were inseparable, no secrets, no hiding, nothing could come between them.
Or so he had thought…
“...Since when?” was all he could manage.
It made Jirou’s pout shake a little, clearly not as confident underneath his frustration as he was trying to portray.
Jiroutachi felt bad for it, of course. Having hid something so big from his brother for a good few months now. He’d felt horrible, hated himself over it, debated every day if he should let Tarou know about his… well, it certainly wasn’t just a fling anymore. They were way past being friends with benefits. This was much more real. Much more serious. And that was exactly why it was so hard to tell Tarou about it.
“W…we started about three months ago. Not dating, but just… doing stuff together? I mean, we’ve always drank together since he came, so it’s not like it was sudden, but things just led to another, and suddenly there was a little more between us…”, Jirou trailed off, before biting his lip in worry and continuing,” — I know you don’t like him. I get it. He can come off as crass and he’s always drunk, and he's not the nicest guy around. But he’s so nice to me , and sweet in unexpected ways. I really like him, and I wish you two would get along more.”
Listening to Jirou speak had given Taroutachi some time to think. He no longer felt like his world was spinning. He felt odd. Partially angry and hurt from the betrayal of his trust, and partially guilty because clearly Jirou had been worried about bringing this to him, which meant he’d been scared of Tarou’s answer. Which hurt him even deeper than any betrayal ever could have. The knowledge that Jirou had been scared to tell him something. That he had given his little brother a reason to lie.
Taroutachi couldn’t really emote what he felt, unable to find the words either, but instead he pulled Jiroutachi into a tight hug, trying to stop his own hands from shaking from the pent up emotions as he squeezed the younger man into his chest.
It was clearly what the other had needed as well, bursting into tears and clinging onto Tarou for his life, sobbing into the shoulder of his white kimono, wetting it with his tears.
“...If you really want to keep dating him in exchange for your sobriety, I will allow that. If you can limit it to one bottle a day, I will let it go. But please never lie to me again,” Tarou spoke softly, keeping his grip tight so as not to betray the shaking of his hands. He’d deal with his own mess of emotions later, but he needed to be in control now. Be a good older brother. Good aniki . Make amends.
It was clear Jiroutachi had been holding it back for a while, from his emotional reaction, so it’d do him good to just sit there together and let him cry it all out.
“Good boy… I love you very much,” Tarou reassured Jirou, once the sobbing had died down into just a few sniffles. It seemed to help, as Jirou nodded weakly against his shoulder, trying to get his voice back.
“I love you the most, aniki,” he sighed, before sniffing and finally pulling back from the hug.
Tarou could only smile fondly, tucking a lock of hair behind Jirou’s ear and wiping off the tears from his flushed cheek with his thumb.
He was happy there would be no grudge carried. Jiroutachi could be very emotional, but he would never hold it against his brother.
Jiroutachi really was the light of his life, and even this sort of a development could not dim that.
Later that night, as the two lay in their beds in the dark of the shared room, Taroutachi could not sleep. Jirou had fallen asleep a good hour ago, exhausted from the emotional rollercoaster he’d been on. He was simple like that, living by his emotions.
Tarou however, was having trouble really setting things together into a manageable conclusion. He was still hurt about having been hid things from, and he felt anger towards Nihongou for… well, being himself, really.
He’d never liked the spear hanging around his brother as much as he did, always with a bottle in hand or ready to pour him another cup. He was an enabler for that behavior, in a way, and maybe that was what made Tarou dislike him so much. He was a bad influence… And that needed to be cut down on. If his brother was going to try to get sober and wean off the alcohol, he would need the utmost support from everyone. And that included Nihongou. Especially him, actually. If the two were truly so in love as Jirou had seemed to imply, it would be the man’s honour to do something to aid that mission, as a loving boyfriend… a thought that made Tarou bristle inside. A loving boyfriend, his ass.
It was an ugly thought to have, but the protective side of him could have sworn this was just something fun on Nihongou’s side. A temporary fling, to fill his time.
The more he thought about it, the more frustrated he became, squeezing the edge of his blanket with both hands.
That made it clear to him. He’d need to have a good talk with the man tomorrow. He’d play nice if it meant getting Nihongou to agree to his terms…
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