Chapter Text
Upon hearing his teacher announce that they’d be doing a group project, Scaramouche groaned. Just walking through the door was enough to upset him, but a project? With a group? He’d pray that it’d be assigned groups and that he could get away with not having to talk much.
“I want groups of three, since there will be three parts to the assignment.” Mr. Zhongli spoke loudly. Loud enough to hurt Scara’s ears. Like, this guy was joked to be over 6,000 years old, and yet he definitely didn’t sound 6,000.
Considering how boring Mr. Zhongli’s whole monologue sounding explanation of the project was, Scara just filtered it out.
Instead, he prompted to read a book. He didn’t care what he read, just something to distract him from the dramatics happening before him. Seriously, people say this guy acts 6,000? Very debatable.
“Psst-!” Somebody whispered. Scara just assumed it wasn’t towards him as he pulled a random book from his backpack. It wasn’t until they angrily whisper-yelled his name that he looked up from his book.
Turns out it was Signora, his best friend.
“Why do you take so damn long to respond even in real life? You’re so slow..”
“What do you want.”
“Let’s be partners!”
Uh, what?
“Not interested, I don’t like women. Especially you.” He replied, turning back to look at his book.
Offended, she rebutted without a second thought “Wha- No, not like that you dumbass. You know about Arle, I’m loyal. The project!”
“Still not interested.”
“You have to actually put effort into this one, It’s worth like, 30% of our grade or something.”
Scaramouche sighed, closing his book before realizing he didn’t put in something as a bookmark. He shrugged it off. “Fine..” Scara said, dragging out the e.
He thought about it for a second. “But don’t we need one more person? It’s three people.”
Signora looked around the room until she spotted somebody. Her eyes lit up like a cartoon, “I have the perfect person, You’ll hate him!” she announced eagerly.
Great. Knowing Signora, this was going to take up his life for the next however-long-the-project was lasting for.
Signora got up from her seat, which snapped Scara back to reality as he realized that they were actually allowed to discuss the project now. Mr. Zhongli’s little play was finally over, for now.
Sighing once more, since that’s all Scara knows how to do, he opened his book to look for his lost page.
By the time Signora had returned, Scaramouche was basically falling asleep. She came back with a ginger.
Seriously, a ginger? Those soulless things?
“Ok, so, Scara.” Signora started, catching both of their attention, “This is Tartaglia. Tartaglia, this is Scaramouche.”
For some reason, the guy looked.. mesmerized? He just kept staring at Scaramouche. Well, maybe that was because of Signora introducing the two of them to each other, but this seemed different.
Either way, he’d have to suck up whatever he was feeling at the moment and talk to this random guy he just met. Tartaglia, was it?
“Hi!” He held out his hand, grinning. “Even though we were just introduced, my name is Tartaglia!”
Since Scara is a very kind person, he took his hand and tried his best to smile back at him, which proved to be very difficult.
Tartaglia, however, just had his eyes closed the whole time as he blabbered on about how “his nickname is Tartaglia and is his real name is Ajax, which has nothing to do with Tartaglia. so like, how do those two correlate?”
Glancing over to Signora, she had a stupid shit eating grin on her face, knowing damn well that he hates social interaction with random people. “How are you gonna make friends if you don’t talk to people?” She’d say. Scara doesn’t need friends, friends need him.
It took Scaramouche a second to realize that the guy had finally shut up. He had this expectant look on his face, practically saying “It’s your turn to talk!”
“I’m Scaramouche. My “friends” call me Scara, you can’t though.”
That was enough, right?
“Wait, why can’t I ca-“ Tartaglia started, getting cut off by Principal Ningguang’s voice being blasted through the speakers as the bell rang. School was finally over, about time.
A frown appeared on Tartaglia’s face where his smile once was.
A blonde girl in red and orange walked over to him, presumably to go walk home with him. She went on about how her girlfriend had to go to some dance that she was performing in, and that she just had to see it.
Since listening in on other people’s conversations is weird, Scara didn’t hear enough to know if he was going to walk home with her. Made no difference to him.
Signora and Scaramouche walked out of the classroom together, being greeted by the totally-not-frightening “Arlecchino.” Scara liked to call her by her real name just to mess with her.
When Signora and Scara first met in middle school, they had this little friend group that they called “The Fatui.” They all had code names, which Signora, Scaramouche, and Arlecchino all go by still.
Signora does go by Rosalyne still, but only with people she isn’t as close with. Arlecchino seemingly doesn’t like her old name all that much, which makes calling her Peruere fun for Scara. Arlecchino was so fun to mess with!
As for Scaramouche, he hates his old name. He goes by Scaramouche whenever and wherever he can, Kunikuzushi just brings memories that don’t feel good, especially when paired with his last name. Despite how many times he has told teachers to refer to him as Scaramouche during roll call, none of them seem to care.
Well, except for Ms. Kusanali of course. But that’s a special case.
Anyhow, Scara has no clue what happened to the other “Fatui Harbingers”, other than Dottore, Columbina, and Pantalone.
Taking off his school shoes, Scaramouche heard an irritating voice interrupt the chatter that happened between Signora and Arlecchino.
“Hey Rosie! Hey Peru!!” Looking down from where “Rosie” and “Peru” were once chatting away, Tartaglia looked down at Scaramouche “Oh, hi Scara! I need a better nickname for you, now that we’re friends.”
Umm.. friends?
“We’ve talked once. And you did all the talking.”
Tartaglia said “spoke” in between fake coughs that made him sound like he was on death’s door.
After clearing his throat, Tartaglia stood up straight as Scara got up.
Laughing filled Scara’s ears. Laughing?
Scaramouche looked over towards the source of the commotion, which happened to be the girlfriends.
“What’s funny?” He asked, surprisingly calmly despite the ginger infront of him.
“T-T-The h-height difference-!” Signora struggled to get out as she laughed at Scara.
Suddenly, a chuckle was heard as well. It was coming from the source of the problem that just so happened to be right infront of Scaramouche.
Scara groaned internally, realizing that he had to crane his neck up ever-so-slightly just to look him in the eyes.
Unamused by everything that was occuring, Scara looked up to see Arlecchino as she began to speak, “It’s not that funny.”
Thank archons, Arlecchino was somewhat normal compared to tweedledee and tweedledum dying of laughter right infront of him.
“Yeah, it isn’t. What’s so wrong about my height, hm? You’re both so childish” Scaramouche ranted.
He pointed a finger at Tartaglia, “Especially you. You’re such a child..” he grumbled.
Tartaglia cleared his throat once again. “Ok, well, I wanted to ask.” Signora looked up at Tartaglia, “Can I walk home with you three? My friend was too busy”
Arlecchino nodded while Signora hummed. Despite Scaramouche’s protests, they ended up walking together.
It was so incredibly uncomfortable for Scara.
The girlfriends just laughed and talked, while Scara was stuck having to chat with carrot top over here.
The two stayed silent for a while. Idly walking while listening to the two beside them walk and talk so casually.
Eventually, big foot seemingly couldn’t take the silence any longer.
“Sooo, Scara..” He started, very obviously not knowing where to go from there.
“I said to not call me Scara. Only Scaramouche.”
“But why? I don’t get to give you a nickname? You can give me one in return!” Tartaglia grinned, glancing down at him.
“You have made a grave mistake.” Scara announced. If Tartaglia wanted to call him something so bad, then he’d just do the same. Now, to go for his height or his hair..
“Hmm..” He tapped his chin in thought, “What about arm res-“
Tartaglia stopped abruptly as he realized that Signora and Arlecchino were gone. Worried at first, he looked around to see where they were. He then felt stupid, considering how Signora mentioned that her and Arlecchino were going to Signora’s place together, and they had just passed it her house.
Speaking of houses, Tartaglia’s house was only a block away!
Scara stopped walking when he noticed that Tartaglia stopped, “What?”
“Oh! I was just wondering where Rosalyne and Peruere went, but then I realized that we went past Rosie’s house already.” He explained, a little too fast. Hopefully Scara caught all of it.
Instead of a spoken response, which would’ve been nice in Tartaglia’s eyes, Scaramouche just hummed.
“So where are you going? My house is just a block away, so I have to keep going straight.” Tartaglia questioned, trying to bring back whatever conversation they had before the two girlfriends left, just in case they were going the same way.
Scaramouche scoffed, “I’m not telling you where I live.”
“Wha- I’m not asking that!” Tartaglia grumbled
“I’m going this way.” Scara sighed as he pointed west.
“Oh, okay. Well, bye then! I’ll come up with a good nickname by tomorrow, just wait!” Tartaglia yelled as he started walking forward, noticing how Scara seemed to be speeding up for some totally unknown reason.
“We’re not friends!” He yelled back.
For Tartaglia, the walk to his house was pretty normal! Made a new friend despite his complaints, got to talk to him, rosie, and peru, and it was still sort of sunny out!
For Scaramouche however, the walk to his and his cousin’s apartment sucked. Freckles just wouldn’t shut up when he started talking, and Scara liked the somewhat silent talking between Signora and Arlecchino. It was sort of comforting, and then Mr. Titan had to speak up and ruin his peace.
And now, he’d have to go home and do homework. God, life sucked sometimes.
Scara walked up the stairs of his apartment complex, struggling to find his key in his pockets.
He knew that Mona would already be in there, she was always way too fast when it came to getting home from school. But despite her speed when leaving school, she was always so slow when opening the door.
He twisted the key in the lock and shoved the door open, being greeted by Mona sprawled out across the couch, watching some reality TV show that Furina got her hooked on.
“I’m home.” He spoke. Her head turned to him, “Oh, hi Kuni. You’re later than usual.”
Mona’s infamous invitations to talk, always making a comment knowing that you want to talk about or that you were going to.
“This ginger asshole thinks that we’re friends now, even though I’ve only talk to him twice and the only things he has ever done is make fun of my height and try to give me weird nicknames.” He ranted without a second thought. Mona was just easy to open up to, ok? I mean, they’re family after all.
After his stupid mother put him up for adoption, his aunt ended up adopting him. That same aunt also happens to work at the highschool that he goes to now. But, it just so happens that it’s also the same highschool that his biological mother works at, because of course it is.
His aunt, Nahida, wanted him to stay with her since she had enough space in her house and money to care for him. But, Scara didn’t want to feel like a leech.
Him and Mona ended up getting an apartment together, so now him and his weirdo astrology loving cousin share an apartment. Mona did want a house, but there weren’t any affordable ones near the school. So, an apartment would do.
After about an hour of just talking about whatever, Scara finally decided that his homework would have to get done.
And then he got a call, his saving grace.
Walking into his bedroom, he pulled out his phone from his back pocket. Furi was calling him.
“Hey Furi, what’s up? Where were you at school today?” Him and Furina had all of their classes together, which was like, a blessing from Principal Ningguang.
They were also very close. They had known each other since before Scara’s mother had even thought about putting him up for adoption.
It was in 1st grade, and Furina was getting picked on by a bunch of snot nosed kids. When Scara stepped in, she hugged him so tight that he thought he’d burst.
Since then, they were best friends. Honestly, they were more like siblings. Scara was different around Furina, more vulnerable and kinder. Same thing vice versa. When Scara got his first phone, they would call every single day. If Furina or Scara had food, they’d share it with each other.
And for Scara, that a huge compliment. Food is food, and food is also Scaramouche’s. Yet, it can also be Furina’s if she asks.
“KA-BU-KI!!! I MISSED YOU, IVE BEEN SICK ALL DAY!” She cried into the phone, dragging out almost every syllable.
Well that explains why Coach Wriothesley was at school and why Mr. Neuvillette was so nervous. They were always such caring parents, a little too much.
“How are you feeling now? Are you gonna be at school tomorrow? I genuinely don’t think I can go to school tomorrow if you aren’t there..” He groaned, thinking back to the weird walking experience he had moments prior.
She sniffed, “Uh.. I think I’m fine. I just had a cold and a headache. I feel better, like, my headaches gone.”
Scara sighed out of relief, “That’s good. I don’t think I could make it through school tomorrow if you weren’t there.” He tried to make the last part sound like a joke, but he couldn’t get anything past Furi.
“What happened? Oh no.. don’t tell me we have a test tomorrow! Or a project..”
“Correct. We have a stupid project in history.” He could hear Furina’s exaggerated groan. She was always so dramatic, but Scara needed someone to spice things up in his life.
“And since you weren’t there, I bet that you’re gonna get placed into a group with some randos..” They both sighed in unison.
“My main problem is the project, but there’s also this weird guy that Signora thought would work well in our group.”
“Hmm? What’s his name?”
“Tartaglia or something like that. I don’t know, I think he said that was a nickname and that his real name was like.. jack. or some shit like that- I don’t know and I don’t really care.”
Furina hummed, as if she were looking through her memory to figure who he was talking about.
“Oh! You mean Ajax. Ginger hair, blue eyes, and freckles, right?”
Scara only replied with a “mhm,” while Furina continued.
“I think he knows like, half of the school. He’s really social. Also a little annoying, but yknow, everybody has some flaws.”
“Some flaws feels like an understatement..”
“What did he do?”
Scara doesn’t actually know. Maybe he’s too talkative? Trying to spark up a conversation whenever he can, not liking silence apparently, and also commenting on people’s looks and making nicknames out of it. That last part sounds a little too much like him, scratch that.
After staying silent for a little while, Furi understood, “Well, he is sort of the exact opposite of you. Very extroverted and outgoing, I can see why you don’t like him.”
When you’ve been friends for almost your whole lives, it feels natural to just understand each other from nothing. Furina has always been so dependable for Scara, and he can only hope that she views him in the same way.
“Well, I’ve really only had two conversations with him. One of which he did all the talking, so maybe I can’t judge. But it’s just.. some about him upsets me.”
“I see what you’re saying. You don’t want to judge since you haven’t really gotten to know him, but you also don’t want to get to know him. Like I said, you’re polar opposites.” Furina concluded.
Scara sighed, “Thanks for putting that into words, I couldn’t do it myself. Too much effort, yknow?” He said, trying to brighten the mood a little.
Seemingly, his attempt worked, “You’re very welcome! No need for applause though, just doing what I owe”
They laughed together, switching topics a few times until they landed on how they should go to a cafe that had just opened.
“Diona’s Cat Cafe! I heard it’s really cute. It also goes by two names for some reason, Diona’s Cat Cafe and Cat’s Tail.”
“Oh, isn’t it by that one mall? I’ve actually been thinking of getting some new clothes.”
Furina gasped before speaking, “Oh, oh! Idea! Let’s go to the mall afterschool, and then we can go to the cat cafe!”
Scaramouche smiled softly, “That sounds good to me. So, Thursday?”
“Hmm…. I think I might be busy tomorrow, would Friday work for you?”
“I’m always free, you know this. And if I was, it would’ve been the first thing I brought up.” He laughed a little.
“Okay, okay. So Friday then. Got it!”
They had just made plans to go to the mall and a new cat cafe after school on Friday. They ended the call soon after, lasting for 3 hours.
And just like that, Scara’s boredom came back in full force.
He made the decision to just hang out with Mona, to just talk about whatever while she played her little organization game. It was actually really cute, and the ending where the main character turns out to be a lesbian was adorable. It seemed boring at first, clicking on a box and just putting things down, but then he played it myself and got obsessed.
It wasn’t until around 7:30 PM that Scaramouche finally remembered that he had homework to do. He groaned when he realized.
If this world wouldn’t kill him, homework would. What’s the point of going to school if there’s stuff that’s assigned for home too?
Eventually, after a lot of will power, Scara got up to do his homework.
It was just english homework. Some NoRedInk assignment given by Ms. Kusanali, and or his aunt.
Scara thanked whatever god had intervened with his amount of homework, so incredibly thankful that Ms. Kusanali didn’t make him do anything that took too long. But for a highschool senior, the work was kind of lacking. Not that Scara minded all that much.
After finishing his “homework,” the time was about 8:00 PM. Knowing himself, Scaramouche made the decision to go to sleep.
Usually, he’d go to sleep around 10:00 on school days and at 12:00 to sometime in the morning on weekends or breaks. He tried to keep this schedule, except his school nights look more like his weekends.
So, since Scara was a genius, he chose to sleep now so that when he eventually woke up in the middle of the night, he’d still get enough sleep.
He didn’t even really care about his sleep all that much. But, if he was too tired during class and accidentally fell asleep or slipped up on an easy question, he would bury himself in a hole and never come out.
Drifting into sleep, he shut his eyes as he heard Mona’s footsteps around the apartment.