Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Rui had been waiting for this moment for so long. Waiting for the perfect time to blurt out his feelings, to confess-!! This time, it was truly perfect. The café they were in was cozy, barely anyone was inside to hear any confession Rui made, and Tsukasa was sitting just across from him, talking about their shows with those passionate eyes.

He really looked beautiful. Even if Tsukasa didn’t like him back, he would be completely content to just stay be his side, as his director, as his friend. Tsukasa was truly the most amazing person he had ever met. He really did love Tsukasa with his whole heart.

He was snapped out of his thoughts when a voice called his name. “Rui, hey, are you even listening..!? I was talking about important show ideas, you know!” Rui looked up to see Tsukasa pouting slightly, probably not even realizing how cute he looked in that moment. Rui held in a small snicker, knowing that Tsukasa would get even poutier if he let it out.

“Fufu, sorry, Tsukasa-kun… I’ll listen now. What were you saying before?” Rui tilted his head, looking into Tsukasa’s eyes. They were so pretty, reminding him of sunsets.

“Hmph,” Tsukasa huffed, “you weren’t listening before, so why should I tell you again?!” He crossed his arms, looking away. “Plus, I’ve got to go soon, so I don’t have time to explain it all again. I’ll send it to you over text, alright?”

Rui’s eyes widened. Tsukasa couldn’t leave yet… “You’re going soon?” He asked, hiding his nervousness with his usual cat-like smile. “Well, before you do, I’d actually like to tell you something, Tsukasa…”

Tsukasa looked at Rui expectantly, waiting for his next words. Suddenly, it felt as if several people were keeping their eyes on Rui, even though it was just them and a few other patrons in the café. “Uhm, what I wanted to tell you… I… I think I really like you, Tsukasa,” Rui said, a blush rising in his cheeks. Was he too straight forward about it? What if Tsukasa rejected him, and this just made things awkward between them?

His worries only intensified the longer Tsukasa stayed quiet, and he tried to get a glimpse of Tsukasa’s expression. He was looking down, face red. “Rui, uhm… I also. Like you.” He looked up, meeting Rui’s eyes. The amazing of pure joy Rui felt couldn’t be expressed in words alone.

A loud gasp sounded from the table behind them. Rui glanced over his shoulder. It was Mizuki. Shit.

Tsukasa looked at Mizuki, his brows furrowed. She was wearing sunglasses, and generally appeared like she wanted to stay hidden, though people who knew her better knew that that was just a stylistic choice. Tsukasa, however… “…Rui, was this a prank, or something…? I-… I don’t…” Tsukasa glanced around nervously, as if searching for a hidden camera. The moment was ruined, and even if Rui salvaged the situation, it wouldn’t be fully fixed.

Mizuki, hearing what Tsukasa said, hurriedly made up an excuse, “H-huh? No, it was just a coincidence…! I was just waiting for my girlfriend, h-haha…” She walked over to the door. Conveniently, a girl walked in and she quickly pulled her away, whispering in her ear to play along. “Yeah. This is my girlfriend, so obviously Rui wasn’t pulling a prank on you,” Mizuki assured, her voice still a bit shaky.

Tsukasa glanced over at Rui, probably seeing through the lie instantly. “…Rui, is that true?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

Rui quickly nodded, trying to sound as convincing as possible when he said, “Yeah. Mizuki got together with that girl a while ago, and she was actually the one to introduce me to this place, so it’s likely that this would be a date spot for the two of them.”

Tsukasa still looked skeptical, but relaxed a bit. “Oh. Well, you could never play such a prank on a star like me, after all! I’d never fall for it!” He said confidently, before his face turned a bit pink as he turned back to Rui. “S-so, I was being serious… I really do like yo-”

“Mizuki..!?” A familiar voice rang throughout the café. Ena Shinonome, if Rui remembered correctly. Mizuki had told him all about her, how she was her precious girlfri- shit, right. “You’re cheating on me, Mizuki..!?”

“What- Ena, I can explain-” Mizuki quickly shoved the girl away. She glanced at Rui and Tsukasa for help, asking what to do to explain this situation.

“Oh, Mizuki was just.., Doing a prank video,” Rui hurried to say, motioning for Tsukasa to pull out his phone and pretend to record. Tsukasa quickly did so. This was the second time his confession was ruined, he could only hope there wouldn’t be a third.

“Y-yeah, that’s what I was doing,” Mizuki stammered, motioning at them. “‘Cheating on my Girlfriend Prank, Gone Wrong’, and all that, right..?” Ena definitely wasn’t buying it, judging by the expression on her face and the way it darkened with each word Mizuki said.

“…Mizuki…” Ena started, sending a glare at her, “Don’t lie to me..!” Rui wand Tsukasa could only watch as Mizuki tried to explain everything that happened in a rushed, haphazard manner, leaving out key details and coming back to them later, adding too many unnecessary details in one place…

By now, Tsukasa had put away his phone again, and they were both just watching. Once Mizuki was finished explaining, Ena glanced at them two for confirmation, and when they both nodded quickly, Ena huffed. “…That’s a really weird story. Good luck with your confession, Kamishiro,” she added as she walked away with Mizuki in tow.

Ah, the confession..! He had almost forgotten, in the chaos of it all. He turned back to Tsukasa, knowing the atmosphere was likely ruined, and that there was really no way it would turn back to the tender moment it was.

For the third time that day, Tsukasa turned back to Rui, but there was even less of a blush on his face now. He probably got more used to saying his feelings by now. “Ah, anyways, Rui… I really, really like you back.”

Rui’s heart swelled. Would this be a good time to kiss Tsukasa? Would it be too early? It turned out, he didn’t need to think about it, as Tsukasa leaning in, his eyes closed, his cheeks flushed a deep crimson. It was clear what he wanted Rui to do, at that point. So, Rui leaned in, closing the space between them. The thought that he was actually doing this, that Tsukasa wanted him back, filled him with pure happiness and exhilaration. Eventually, the kiss had to break, and they were left smiling softly at each other.

“Tsukasa-kun…” Rui started, “would you like to get ice cream? It’ll be our first official date.”

Chapter Text

Tsukasa Tenma tried not to be selfish. He tried to give more than he took. Of course, there were times when he wanted to be selfish, like at 4:53 AM when he woke up to panicked voices and his little sister’s coughing. He immediately rushed downstairs, going over to Saki’s room, where his parents stood by her bed and his dad scooped her up, turning to the door so they could get her in the car and to the hospital – and almost ran into Tsukasa in the process.

“Is Saki okay?” Tsukasa asked, trying to peek at the girl in his dad’s arms. “Will she need to go to the hospital again..?”

Tsukasa’s mother sighed, “She’s going to be okay, Tsukasa. Just go back to bed, we need to go to the hospital.” She gently put her hand on Tsukasa’s back, nudging him back towards his room.

“What!? No, I’m coming with you, to make sure she’s okay!” Tsukasa said, turning to face his mother. Seeing that he likely wouldn’t falter in his determination to come with them, she just huffed and let Tsukasa come along.

Once they were in the car, Tsukasa tried cheering Saki up. Even if she was usually sleepy and barely aware during the trips they took to the hospital at night, she always had hated the drive to the hospital, knowing that it meant she would be alone most of the time.

“Onii-chan..?” Saki murmured, shifting slightly in her seat to face him. “When will I get better?”

Tsukasa hesitated, not knowing the answer. He tried to weakly redirect the conversation, and had Saki been less tired she would have definitely noticed. “I’m not sure, Saki, but once you do recover, we’ll do everything we weren’t able to do together!” He grinned. The statement might have been something used to avoid another topic, but it was still completely true.

“Yeah,” She said, “I want to go see a show again, like yours. They always make me smile, Tsukasa…” Saki trailed off, yawning.

Tsukasa’s heart swelled at the words, his grin stretching wider. “You seem tired,” he whispered, “You should go to sleep now. We’re still a long way from the hospital, after all!”

To Tsukasa’s immense disappointment, he wasn’t allowed to go in with his parents to the emergency room. He had to sit and wait in the car while Saki was possibly hurting. His worry didn’t last long when he saw his parents leave the hospital, but it returned tenfold when he saw that Saki wasn’t walking beside them, nor was she in either of their arms. As soon as they opened the car door, they were bombarded with questions about Saki’s wellbeing.

“Is she okay? What happened? Is she too sick to come back with us?” Tsukasa asked, not pausing for an answer in between his endless amount of questions. His parents, used to his way of speaking and his habit of asking so much at one time, just answered each one in the order he asked them after he was done rambling. As it turned out, Saki had gotten sick and her weak immune system made it so she had to stay at the hospital for a day or two to make sure nothing was wrong.

The car ride home was silent, and the entire world seemed dimmer now that Saki wasn’t with them. Even if the sun was rising already, it was so dark. Tsukasa wished Saki were here. How selfish. Saki was recovering in the hospital, but Tsukasa was wishing she were here with him instead.

The next incident happened two months later, at 2:44 AM. Saki’s coughs and his parents' footsteps filled the living room. By the time Tsukasa had realized that it was serious enough for them to need to go, however, they were already out the door and the sound of the car driving off filtered through the thin walls of the house. There was no way they didn’t know he was awake, as his lights were on, and he was sitting up in his bed with his shadow clearly looming in the living room. They had left him behind on purpose. Tsukasa flopped back down on his bed, burying himself under the covers as tears pricked in his eyes. He had known that they didn’t want him to come with them, and that it was for a good reason, but the worry he felt currently was probably more detrimental than beneficial.

What if Saki died this time?

Tsukasa didn’t want to think about that possibility. Still, though, he found himself thinking of every possible terrible thing that could happen to her, every ‘what if’ that he would not be there for. The worst thing was, even as his paranoia and anxiety continued, a small part of his brain – that he hated greatly – was relieved that he didn’t have to get up and get ready to go to the hospital so late at night. Guilt immediately washed that thought away, and Tsukasa buried himself further under the covers. He was so selfish, thinking that. Maybe that’s why his parents didn’t like him coming along to the hospital. Because he was being selfish.

Chapter Text

Rui knew he looked pathetic. Eyeliner dripping slightly, hair mussed, suit wrinkled and worn… how could he not look like a complete mess? He stuck out like a sore thumb in the night of the Wonderland Sekai, laying down with his legs dangling off the stage, the same stage they used to do shows on so frequently. The same stage where Tsukasa had reached out to him, asked him with complete sincerity, “Won’t you join our troupe again?”

Rui hears the footsteps of KAITO – soft, steady, and gentle. He hears the soft sigh that escapes from his lips, the creak of the wood as he sits next to him, and he sees KAITO’s worried face loom over him. The moon shines brightly on the stage, casting weird shadows on the dips and curves of his face.

“Hello, Rui.” He said, his voice sympathetic. He didn’t know if that comforted him or made him feel worse. “…Do you want to talk about it?”

No. Was the simple and obvious answer. He didn’t want to talk about it. Him, at 25, wanting a chance with a boy who was already married to his best friend? It was pathetic, to put it simply. So no. He didn’t want to bear his heart to KAITO, and he especially didn’t want to say everything that was meant to be left unsaid, forgotten just like his unnecessary feelings for Tsukasa.

There was no way he would mention the ache in his heart as Tsukasa patted him on the back when he headed into the reception, saying that he was so lucky to have him as his best man, that there was no other person he could’ve chosen. He didn’t want to mention the pitying look Toya gave him, or the way his voice wavered and cracked during his speech.

But also, Rui wanted so desperately to talk about it, to vent and rant about his frustrations and his unrequited love, his never ending want for something more, even if it would never happen. He wanted to talk about how happy Tsukasa looked, talking with him in the dressing room, worrying about every little detail and unnoticeable problem. He wanted to talk about how Tsukasa grinned as he twirled Nene around, how they looked so in love and how he should be happy for them, if he really loved Tsukasa.

That was another thing. He should be happy that Tsukasa was being loved, even if it wasn’t by him, and yet he wasn’t. Rui wasn’t happy at all. All he felt was a deep, aching sadness and pain at the fact that Tsukasa was in love, married, with someone that was not him. He had always vowed to be okay with staying in the sidelines, simply feeling happy when Tsukasa was happy and supporting his every decision, but no one had told him that would be so hard when it came to something this big.

He could still see KAITO hovering over him, waiting for a response. When none came, and Rui’s face remained neutral, he stopped hovering over Rui, finally, and sat down next to him. Rui turned over, not wanting to look at KAITO’s face. He knew what it would look like – marred with worry, perhaps even pity – and looking at that face would only make him feel sicker. “…It really hurts,” Rui eventually said. “I don’t want to feel like this, because why can’t I be happy for him?” He asks, talking more to himself than to KAITO.

KAITO just nods along, not that Rui can see it.

“Before the wedding, before they even started dating, I could already tell,” Rui said, chuckling humorlessly. “He would light up like the sun if Nene even glanced in his direction. I’m not sure why I even held hope after I realized that.”

Rui fell silent, remembering the time when Nene wasn’t even interested, but Tsukasa so obviously was. It was a selfish thought, but Rui wished it had stayed that way. Rui wished that it had stayed that way, and Tsukasa eventually realized that Nene wouldn’t reciprocate and gave up. Rui wished that in that time, Tsukasa turned to him instead of pursuing something that wasn’t working out at the time. But Tsukasa was nothing if not stubborn, so he held on to that small piece of hope that maybe, maybe Nene could eventually feel something for him, and he actually succeeded. When Rui followed his example, holding on hope till the very end, he failed miserably.

“I want to sit on this stage with him again. Talk like the world around us doesn’t exist, like it’s just me and him.” That would never happen again.

(He still remembers the look Mizuki gave him, the way she had gone up to him and asked if he was alright. He remembers how it felt like everyone was looking at him, pitying him.)

He feels ungrateful for even thinking this, for yearning for more when Tsukasa has already given him the world, for wanting to be Tsukasa’s everything when Tsukasa had already granted him the title of ‘my dearest director’. He feels isolated, alone, like he is stuck with Tsukasa in a ravine, but then Nene guides Tsukasa to safety and he is simply left there, waiting, wanting. He wants so badly to cry, to pour his heart out and then die right there because it feels like his life has been completely ruined, even if it hasn’t, even if all he’s grieving is an idea held together by paper and glue.

“I feel so selfish,” He says, “I feel like I’m wanting too much, asking too much. I feel like I’m still a teenager, because my desires are the same and my wants are the same, but I’ve still changed so much.” He pauses.

“I feel horrible.” It’s a truth that disgusts him, but he can’t take it back because he’s said it already and now it’s real, a feeling he must confront and deal with.

KAITO stays silent for a long while too. “Love only turns selfish when you force it onto other people,” he hums, “and you didn’t do that a single time, right?”

Rui shakes his head. He could never. Not knowing that Tsukasa would never be truly happy with him, that even if Rui loved him even more than he already did Tsukasa still wouldn’t be satisfied. Yes, he had yearned and wanted, but only ever in silence. When they caused chaos in the school together. After practice times, when they all sat down on the stage and Rui was on one side of Tsukasa, talking with him, laughing, and of course, Nene was on the other side, constantly diverting Tsukasa’s attention, putting a smile on his face as if he had just been handed love itself.

“Still,” he whispers, “it hurts.”

KAITO hums, “I think you’ve loved enough for it to hurt, and I think that’s just you being hard on yourself.”

Rui curls in on himself. “Maybe,” he murmurs, still feeling closed in and trapped in his suit that was too stuffy, in the never ending grief that came with realizing that Tsukasa was never his, and would never be his.

KAITO sits in comfortable silence with him, letting him stew. The comfort he provides seems small to Rui, and it doesn’t help with the fact that the space where Rui had always hoped Tsukasa would fill was empty, but at least he felt less lonely. Less lonely than he did before.

Chapter Text

Tsukasa sat up, blinking wildly he gasped at the sight that greeted him.

Rui, wielding a basketball, shoots Tsukasa with it. Tsukasa isn’t ready for it and gets slammed in the face. Tsukasa, surprised, recovered from the hit and hissed at Rui like a rabid feline. Rui then Fortnite dances on Sunny. “Sorry, Tsukasa-kun, but your vibes are off,” Rui muttered. But then, Rui leaned down and-and-and…! Emu interrupts saying, “NENE YOU’LL NEVER CATCH ME NOW!!1!” and then spontaneously combusts in a flurry of confetti afterwards.

“What the fuck, Emu?!”

Rui cried, “I was gonna kiss Tsukasa on the cheek!! To fix his vibes!!” Emu’s ashes then rebuild into a new body which then uses the mouth that has been gifted to them to say, “Did you say no homo?” “Kinda gay bro-” “I was wearing socks I swear!”

Tsukasa shook his head, too many things were happening at once that he could hardly process any of it. Was he in Wonderlands SEKAI? Some Other SEKAI? …maybe even some dreamland he didn’t know about!?! He wouldn’t even be surprised if a shotgun materialized and [Untitled] started playing at this point. Akito walks in and stabs everybody in Street SEKAI as none of them belong there. He then draws a sick fucking pentagram. He proceeds to Fortnite orange justice dance in it while singing the carmelldancen

Tsukasa decided for the sake of his already crumbled sanity that he wasn’t going to think about what just happened.

Tsukasa is very tired, but so is Nene. She has been forced to watch them mess around the last 6 years. She is very disappointed, and especially tired of all of their shit. Tsukasa then became a catboy. Akito, for unexplained reasons, is now also a catboy. Nene is even more disappointed in them, but also in Rui, as this was the result of his failed attempt to fix their vibes.

Now Nene is a cat girl, for unexplained reasons in line with the mewniverse. Nene is terrified as Emu proceeds to put on dog ears for consistency. Ichika runs off to find her Miku cosplay. For shame, she lost it, the fool. Shiho sees her running and asks her what the hell she’s doing while wearing said Miku cosplay.

“What do you mean, dear Shiho, dear friend of mine? I lost it!” Ichika, clearly wearing her Miku cosplay, exclaims. Now they're both Miku. Ichika’s costume combusts, not like she notices, because she thought she wasn’t wearing it, and now she isn’t.

“Hey, isn’t that my costume Ichika?!”

“No you dumbass!!" Shiho exclaims

“I found it in the Denny's parking lot while fighting against a raccoon, I really don’t think it’s yours!!!11!!1”

“Oh yeah??? Then why is there a Phenny hanging from its back! That’s my pet!” Ichika shouts, shaking Shiho.

“How the hell would I know that, Ichika???”

Nene meows and puts her paw on Ichika’s shoulder

"Now, now, Ichika. Shut the fuck up" Ichika cries. Her girlfriend visited her in this dreamworld, is now a neko, and told her to fucking shut up. “This is so sad, can we get 500 likes?” She cries, and runs away, leaving Phenny with Shiho.

Meanwhile Tsukasa was curled up in the corner, near catatonic. He stared into space as Ichika and Shiho fought, considering trying to wake up, because this must be a dream. Or search for his phone and press play so he could go back to Wonderlands SEKAI. Either worked, really, because anything was a good distraction from whatever the rest of the unorganized collection of people were arguing about.

Emu and Rui then dab aggressively to try and wake Tsukasa up. It inevitably failed, because dabbing is dead, just like Emu’s gra— coughs violently Somehow, though, Rui, in flailing around trying to wake Sunny, became internet famous. His famousness was enough to revive Tsukasa, letting him embrace his new cute vibes. In the end, at least both their vibes were fixed (somewhat). (IT WAS THE POWER OF GAY IM TELLING YOU-)

Suddenly, Emu is the sun, beaming down upon them. “Hi Emu!!” Waves Rui, squinting up at her. “Emu, where did you get the money to go to space? Did you go with an astronaut?” Tsukasa, who really should be a star, cries in jealousy. However, Tsukasa is more proud of his friend than jealous.

“I found the money in the Denny’s parking lot last night colon closed parentheses”

“Wow Emu! Can I have some? I just need 999,999$ to go to outer space.”

“No! colon open parentheses” Emu replies in his same, cheery voice.

“Uh, Kel, why are you saying emoticons out loud..?” Nene asked, deeply confused and a little concerned.

"Magic semicolon close parentheses”

“O-kay, then.”

“Anyways”, Rui said, “me and Tsukasa have to go. Now that I’m internet famous, I have to collaborate on YouTube with content creators such as Markiplier and that one guy who makes knives.” Obviously, the knife guy was cooler though.

Tsukasa nodded, holding up an expensive looking camera, mic and all. His editing skills were unbeatable, and he knew, deep down, he was the reason Rui was internet famous.

“They’re all racist but yes.”

“Except Knife Guy. He’s too cool to be racist.” Rui adds.

Yeah he’s the exception. Knife guy supremacy.

“He da bomb.” Emu explains.

Suddenly, Rui remembers something and pulls from his pocket… a mini Tsukasa?!
“Oh yeah, Tsukasa, I found this. It is now our child.”

“Yeah but since when was I allowed to parent-”

“I found a mini Rui too. Want it?” Rui interrupts.

“Y E S” Tsukasa says calmly . (Like a Dumbledore kinne omg /j)

—

Meanwhile, over in Shibuya, Saki is enjoying some nice late night tea as the refined amazing person she is. She takes in one nice sip and then murmurs to herself:
“Ah, late night tea… Ah, wait, I’m supposed to be waiting for Tsukasa-”

The doorbell suddenly rang to her surprise:

“Is it him?! Why in the Project Sekai: Colorful Stage! Feat. Hatsune Miku. Brand New Your World would he come home at this hour? Oh well, I’ll have to answer it.” Saki eagerly stood up while setting down her tea on her living room table and made her way to the door. Whomever was on the other side was beginning to grow impatient, as they began frantically ringing the doorbell until someone dared to open it. Saki noticed this and yelled out:

“Patience, patience!”

Though that patience ran thin, as the perpetrator suddenly broke down the door with a very stale but POWERFUL looking piece of Apple Pie ! Saki’s face instantly grew pale, as she knew who had arrived for her. She found her. Somehow, cursed Honami was standing before her, Saki at one point thought of this to be some kind of weird dream she kept on having – just a silly thing to pay no mind to. But upon several additional encounters after the initial terror, he realized that the Apple Pie! abominations have indeed transcended into the real world. But surely, she couldn’t have the same thought process as her actual bandmates to be able to locate her in her own home. Oh, how wrong she was…

“Apple Pie, Apple Pie, Apple Pie...” Honami began and continued to drone on.
MEANWHILE in our universe:

Shivering in the darkness, Rui turned on the bathroom light. In front of him was his pink ballerina suit. He didn’t want to put it on, but he had to. For him…

The only way into Tsukasa’s heart, Rui knew, was to dance. And dance he will, even if it’s at the cost of his emotional well-being. His acquaintance walks in, and all Emu does is stare before slowly closing the bathroom door. She does not want to remember.

Rui sighed. He knew no one would be able to understand why he had to do this. Emu was just one of the few he would have to learn to ignore. In his heart, he knew what he was doing right. He was going to show them all.

Donning his pink ballerina slippers and adding hair gel to his hair, along with some hot pink lipstick, he left the bathroom, turning off the light behind him. He sobbed quietly as he walked down the stairs.

Mother and Father stared, judgingly and heterosexually. His father got up and left, oh no! But… he comes out… with a blue sequin ballerina dress of his own. It runs in the family, it seems. The father cries, the son cries, and the mother laughs. And laughs. Emu, distantly, sobs as well. It was beautiful. If I could physically cry, I would have. That’s how beautiful it was.

It was a marvelous scene to behold. Emu, the Sun, has finally cried (like actual tears no clickbait). Anyways back to the “plot”.

Rui, wiping tears from his eyes, gives his father a nod. He walks out the front door, gayly, dreading the house next door. But he has to do this: Tsukasa’s waiting, and even if Saki and his cats will silently judge him, it’s worth it.
Rui knocks on Nene and Tsukasa’s front door.
Their cat, another homosexual, answered the door. She took one look at Rui, and stuck her tongue out, closing the door immediately. Rui sobbed.
Their other cat felt pity for him. Cat No. 2 called Tsukasa the only way he knew how: UNHOLY SCREECHING, AT 3AM! Someone has to stop this raging homosexual. But, Cat No. 2, with his poor catvision, couldn’t tell Rui’s stunning, divine pink physique apart from Cat No. 1, and launched herself straight into Cat No. 1’s back with the power of a thousand suns. Or the power of god and anime but we don’t talk about that possibility. It is forbidden knowledge; just me mentioning it has awoken the beast. CARRYING ON-

Cat No. 1 tumbled forward into Rui, successfully stopping him in his tracks. Unfortunately for him, the commotion caught Tsukasa’s attention, and he walked out of the piano room. Hero hit him with his amazing sigma charm, but the cats and aggressively pink lesbian outfit weakened its effects. It was like something out of a fever dream, the kind you get after taking one too many benadryls on a Friday night. So instead of having the intended effect of sweeping the damn man off his feet, he fell over like a fucking bowling pin with laughter.

“Oh my Project Sekai: Colorful Stage! Feat. Hatsune Miku. Brand New Your World!, Rui, what in Project Sekai: Colorful Stage! Feat. Hatsune Miku. Brand New Your World!’s name are you wearing? ” Tsukasa cackled, breathless, and pissless. Rui actually had to think about that for a moment, stunned, and just now feeling a little ashamed. “I’m um, wearing my uh- ” But Cat No. 1 (they could talk..!?) interrupted him before he could finish to deliver this stellar line:

“He’s wearing his coming out of the closet outfit. I’m sorry Tsukasa, but Rui is straight now, for he is a femboy and that cancels out all original gayness he had.”

“WHAT?!?!? I DIDN’T AGREE TO THIS-”

Rui blinked rapidly, blushing. Tsukasa, still giggling, left, and came back with his Hatsune Miku cosplay and also a Kasane Teto cosplay.
“You don’t even look a tiny bit like Teto, even though you’re wearing her outfit-” (wait, wasn’t he wearing a ballerina costume..!? … or not, looking at himself now.) “-Plus, your makeup skills… are lacking, sorry to say. Here, take this.” Tsukasa, sweet Tsukasa, gave him another Teto costume.

Oh damn, Tsukasa, really gonna show our boy up like that huh? Cat No. 1 sees how it is, gaslight gatekeep girlboss moment. Shaking her head. But, he had a point: his makeup is all wrong, and that dress was NOT a good fit. Get a different size next time...

So then yadda yadda Tsukasa, being the extremely hot and goergous ‘man’ he is, went up with Rui to finish their sickeningly sweet cosplay moment together.

And then they did gay people shit (Do straight people not cosplay? That sucks for them), idk, couples cosplay or smth. Happy ending!

Chapter Text

Rui Kamishiro was doing really, really well in life. He was successful, he had many loving friends, etc. He was confident. He was able to be himself without fear. But this reunion was really testing his patience. His middle school class decided to meet up again, just a friendly get together to catch up on things that had happened in the three years they had been apart. Despite his reluctance, considering his bad memories with middle school, he agreed to go after encouragement from his friends.

He was wondering if it was a good idea to go now. He was constantly forced into conversation, and every time he came off as a bit too eccentric, people would be scared off, so he had to tone it down.

"Kamishiro! I'm glad to see you here, I didn't think you would come, to be honest!" An eager voice pierced his ears, breaking him out of his thoughts.

Rui turned to face the person greeting him, nodding and smiling politely. "Yes, I was convinced to come by some of my friends."

"Really?" The person - Rui didn't even know his name - sounded skeptical. That look eventually faded into a smile, "Well, I should be glad they did. It's good to see you."

Rui hesitated. He didnt even know this person's name. He didn't even remember his face. "It's good to see you too..." There was an awkward pause where Rui would traditionally say the guy's name.

The man eventually broke the silence with, "You look much more healthy now! I was so worried about you back in middle school, you were so skinny..."

Rui paused. Who the hell says that to someone they just met for the first time in three years? "Um, y-yeah. I guess I've been eating more-"

Before he could change the subject, the man coninued. "You really seem like you've gained a lot, I'm proud. What have you been doing? It seems like your arms have gotten a lot bigger than they used to be..." He continued, going on and on about Rui's changes in appearance.

Rui might be overthinking, but was it really a compliment? Had he gained that much? It was phrased nicely, but... wasn't that just another way of saying "you got fatter"? Rui zoned out as the man kept talking, thinking. Was it really so noticeable? Was he fat? If he was, he wouldn't be able to preform as well on stage... and his directing abilities would also take a toll, wouldn't they? Rui would need to get better.

Once he was set on his decision, he tuned back into the conversation. The man was going on about some other thing now, but it was nothing Rui was interested in. He cut the man off, "I just remembered, I have somewhere to be soon, so I have to leave early. Could you tell the host for me, really quickly?" He waited for a split second so the man could nod before making his way to the door, putting on his shoes and leaving.

Rui was home for about 5 minutes before what the man had said before got to him and he checked his weight. He was 70 kilograms. That was... a lot more than he had been in middle school. There was a notebook Rui had kept to track his weight changes - he probably still had it somewhere in the garage.

True to his memory, the notebook was where he remembered. It was buried under piles of ruined blueprints and notebooks of scrapped ideas, but it looked the same as he remembered. The last entry - three years ago, the end of his last year of middle school - He was 52 kilograms. That was a lot of weight to gain, right? Was Rui even in a healthy range right now?

Was he okay?

Now that it had come to his attention - It was a problem, wasn't it? Now that he was looking closely, he looked large. He didn't look like he used to. Rui felt like he couldn't breathe when he came face to face with this realization. He had failed to pay attention to his weight for the past three years, and now it was coming back to bite him.

This needed to be fixed immediately.

Going back to the garage and flipping through his notebook, he noticed the diet plans, the exercise routines, everything that he had done in middle school to keep himself thin. Healthy. Maybe it was time to implement those again... When he wasn't at school or with his friends, he had a lot of free time anyways... It was just that most of the time, he spent it analyzing trinkets, or building things to use in shows in the future.

He was fine with cutting back the time he used to build things, if it meant he could be healthy again.

Rui put his new plan into effect immediately. The sudden change was definitely something to get used to, but Rui was nothing if not adaptable. He could get through this. It was fine.

He would be fine, as soon as he got better, got cured from what his three years of neglect had caused. He would be okay.

______

During school that week, Rui felt hungry the whole time. His stomach felt empty, yet every time he went to grab food from his bag, there was nothing there except his meager lunch. Ah, thats right, he stopped packing the small snacks he used to have throughout the day... He should be thankful, because if the snacks were in his bag, he definitely wouldn't have been able to resist.

During lunch, he didn't steal as much from Tsukasa's lunch box. Tsukasa's food was good, but he didn't know what was in it. What was the calorie count? What was its nutritional value? Even if Tsukasa tended to eat healthy, Rui couldn't be sure... Of course, Tsukasa was never one to keep quiet about his concern, so after three days of his strange behavior, he spoke up.

"Rui, Are you okay? You haven't eaten much. Are you sick? Did you eat in the morning already?" He worriedly pressed a hand to Rui's forehead, then his own, trying to compare the temperature.

Rui looked up, surprised. He smiled reassuringly, "There's no need to be worried. I... ate earlier, so I'm not that hungry right now. Actually, I've been thinking for a few ideas for our next show, and..." He continued into a rant about ideas and stunts Tsukasa could pull, etcetera. Luckily, Tsukasa seemed to be pulled along by the topic change, completely forgetting his previous worry.

His troupe seemed to notice his decrease in energy during practice, too. Nene would remind him more often to take breaks, Tsukasa would be the mother hen he always was, except much more intense, and Emu would try to cheer him up constantly with "wonderhoy!"'s and happy dances.

Rui assued them all that he would be fine. This fatigue was only temporary, until he finally felt healthy again.

_____

His dinner that day was nonexistent, despite him being hungry.

Well, he wasn't hungry. he had already eaten a lot that day. Too much. and he was too full for dinner now.

_____

He couldn't really remember details well anymore. Was that an effect caused by him getting better? Like the side effect of a medicine. Yes, that was it.

Mizuki had taken notice too. Rui brushed her off, like he did to all the others. He was fine.

_____

He was hungry, but he couldn't eat. Just the thought made him sick. Food tasted like cardboard. It was all horrible. Was living like this worth it?

Obviously, it was. Had he become weaker, or something? Middle school him had obviously done this perfectly fine, even if he couldn't remember much of that...

_____

Rui was tired. His head hurt, his stomach ached, he was cold, and he felt dead on his feet. His vision blurred every time he stared at something too long. And yet... Every time he looked in the mirror, he was still the same.

Why was he still the same?

Why was it not working?

Every time he checked the scale, his weight dropped even more, and yet he still looked like he was the same weight. Others had commented that he was getting skinny - but he didn't see it.

Was this all for nothing?

Rui curled up on the carpet in front of his mirror and scale, wrapping his arms around his knees. He looked into the mirror. His cheeks were sunken, his eyebags were prominent, and he looked nothing like he had wanted to. He buried his face in his knees, just to avoid the sight of his reflection.

He needed a distraction. Yet - even as he had an idea of what to do, he couldn't bring himself to get up. It seemed like too much effort. So, he sat in his dim room, trying to make himself get up.

Why wasn't he even able to move? He lifted his head again, tears pricking his eyes, blurring his vision. He couldn't bring himself to uncurl completely. His reflection stared back at him mockingly, a sign of his failed efforts. He put his head back in his arms.

None of it was working. It had been weeks. Rui's exhaustion ran bone-deep. Most of the time, he couldn't get out of bed without spending at least 30 minutes trying to convince himself that it would be fine.

Rui cried. He sobbed almost silently, trying to bring himself to get up, to at least move to the couch. He couldn't. Small hiccups mixed with whimpers mixed with quiet cries, none of them loud enough for the sound to carry out of the garage was settled in. Rui was tired. He felt too tired to keep going, too tired to keep breathing steadily.

He fell asleep in that room, right in front of the scale and mirror, crying. If one looked at his face while he was asleep, they would see puffy eyes and tear tracks, they would see a mouth that normally smiled twisted into a slight frown, and if they looked at his body as a whole, they would see a boy that was too thin for his height, and they would see the outline of ribs in the skin of his chest. They would see Rui Kamishiro, a boy who couldn't function correctly anymore. They would see him, a boy who didn't know if he could recover from the same thing twice.