Chapter Text
Marinette hated fighting that feeling to just take off her earrings and reveal who she really was behind her mask; literal and figurative. It was something that she contemplated daily. What would Chat Noir say? What would her friends say? What would the world say? What exactly is at risk?
Her real question was: Who’s hiding behind that mask?
These thoughts soared out her open window as a familiar figure climbed through said window, his cat ears giving him away. Marinette squinted.
“Hey, princess,” Chat Noir whispered, careful not to wake anyone in the house.
“Hi,” Said “princess” replied, scared of breaking the silence. The moonlight trickled into her window, illuminating her barely.
“Are you doing okay?” Chat inquired, sitting next to her on the bed.
“I don’t know,” Marinette ran her fingers through her hair, her head bowed down.
“I’m pretty happy with where I am,” Chat flirted, but whatever sultry tone was there previously vanished away with the hush in his voice. Marinette gave him a small smile and leaned on his shoulder.
“I am, too,” Marinette grinned, closing her eyes. Slowly, Chat wrapped his arms around her.
“Is this alright?” He inquired, and he felt the nod of her head against his shoulder.
Was it an hour? Was it two? The superhero wasn’t sure, but those minutes passed in comfortable silence. Marinette’s steady breathing nearly lulled Chat Noir to slumber, but he kept vigil over the girl in his embrace.
For the next couple of weeks, their dynamic was sleepy chatter and moonlit hugs. Stolen kisses and midnight confessions. Gazes at unrequited love and drifting eyelids.
Chat asked the same question every single week like clockwork: “Are you doing okay?”
Marinette would smile and say that she was fine. Sometimes, she would shake her head and beg her cat-eared companion to leave it at that. He respected his damsel, and he promised not to bring up the issue any further. It always gnawed at him, though; the way that the mask on Ladybug latched onto her skin. The way that a certain unspoken agreement hung over his head as he asked Plagg to transform him, just until dawn.
“Then, I’ll be out of her grasp and go back to my house. I promise. Please, Plagg. I… I want to be needed.” Adrien pleaded.
“You are needed, Adrien. You and Ladybug always watch over Paris. Don’t you see how vital you are to their safety?”
“No, this is a different kind of need, Plagg. Ladybug is so determined to stay alone, but it’s different with Marinette.”
But, here he was again. This time, Marinette stared at the stars cloaked in darkness up on her roof rather than staying inside her comfortable, cozy blankets. A cup of tea sat by her as she gazed at the infinite constellations in the sky. Marinette spotted the figure out of her corner of her eye.
“I was waiting for you,” Marinette told him quietly.
“You should get inside,” Adrien protested as soon as he saw his princess of the night. This princess looked down at the ground. “C’mon, Marinette. Warm yourself up. No more waiting,” The ebony hero extended his arm towards Marinette, helping her up.
The two of them were silent as they crept down to her bedroom, the lilac sheets welcoming them.
Marinette sunk into her pillow and sighed. Another long night. Another midnight confession. Another kiss that meant to take her pain away.
“Are you doing okay?” Chat recited, but it felt just like the first time. The relationship was unconventional. It felt overwhelmingly similar to one of a therapist and a patient. Yes, Marinette vented to him. No, it didn’t mean that the Chat Noir was suddenly a therapist. He was just a good friend. A good friend who watched over her as she settled into the sleep she missed for days. A cherished companion who kissed her when he didn’t know what else to do to make her happy again. A friend.
Just. A friend.
“I… No,” Marinette decided.
“Well, enlighten me, please,” Adrien begged her. “If I can fix it, I want to know.” Marinette chuckled, but the sound was hollow and artificial. It was uncharacteristic in every way. Where’s that laugh of hers? Did it vanish with exhaustion? Or something else? Chat pondered.
“You can’t fix this one, silly kitty,”
“I have to. It’s my job to protect the citizens of Paris, and you are a treasured civilian--”
“Don’t try,” Marinette cut in, her tone a bit colder than she intended. She caught herself. “Oh, no, I’m so sorry; I didn’t mean that. I’m just tired of people asking,”
“Of me asking?” Marinette’s eyes widened, and she winced.
“No, never.” Adrien sighed.
“Then, what is it, princess?” Tears welled up in her eyes, and the salt water burned like streams of fire down her cheeks.
“Why do I keep chasing him?” Marinette burrowed her head in her knees, curling up on her sheets.
“Who?”
“It’s not like he’ll ever notice what I do for him. They’re passing fantasies, and I,” Marinette choked on a sob. Chat wrapped his arms around her, closing his eyes and shushing her.
“Shhh, my princess. Everything will be alright. He has probably fallen for you. I know I have,” He murmured the last part so Marinette wouldn’t be able to catch it through her tears.
“I’m so tired of running. I run from what I want all the time, just to put my heart on hold. I’ll never be able to tell him, ever,”
“Hey,” Chat put his hand on her shoulder. “That’s not true. You have that courage; I know you do. Besides, he must be pretty lucky to have someone like you fawning over him,”
“I don’t know about that…” Marinette rubbed her eyes from exhaustion. “He could probably do much better than me. I’m nothing special--” Chat shushed her.
“Miss Marinette, never tell yourself that you are nothing special. I’ll be damned the day that becomes true. You are unique, breathtaking, adorable. You remind me of Ladybug all the time, and that’s saying a lot,” That’s because I am Ladybug, Marinette wanted to scream, but this was not the time. Not now, not here.
Sleep welcomed the two not-quite-lovers, but peace was nowhere to be found. There were raging storms inside of Marinette that she couldn’t voice in this moment, quaking limbs that Chat couldn’t find the courage to soothe.
There were too many what-ifs and how-dos. Too many inquiries and not enough answers. Uncertainty claimed the sleep that Marinette was supposed to find serenity in.
What do you do when the one you love is clouded by a mask? It’s a vizard, the identity kept from the one who truly needs to know it.
You get lost in your own alter ego. It’s so terribly dangerous, but it happens daily. You hope that no one catches onto your mannerisms, but simultaneously, you want someone to shout, “Hey, that’s different! That’s new! That’s exciting! Who would’ve thought?”
Why can't it be that way… Well, it’s all up to Marinette and the chosen ones.
Marinette stared down at the Ladybug doll in her hands.
“I just want you to know,” She began to tear up but quickly caught herself, wiping the droplets away angrily. “No, I don’t. You can’t know.”
Marinette waited on her bed, waiting for her masked intruder to whisk her away from her troubles.
But he never came.