Work Text:
Rain knows that today is going to be the day, but he mostly knows this through a sixth sense, which means Sky is being an asshole about it. Rain has known since he got to meet Phayu’s parents for the first time last week that Phayu was gearing up for some sort of conversation. This much Sky actually believes; he had listened to Rain recap everything that had happened that evening for so long that he may as well have been there. But Rain can just tell that it’s today.
It’s the end of the week, and Phayu was all tense this morning and ensured that Rain knew that he will be picking him up from campus today for sure. But Sky thinks he’s overthinking it, because Sky is mean and evil.
”Okay,” Rain’s best, most beloved friend, sighs, “Let’s pretend for a moment that you aren’t being a monumental moron.”
”Didn’t need the alliteration,” Rain mutters to himself.
Sky ignores him, “Are you this scared for this damn conversation? What,” his eyes narrow, “Do you think they don’t like you? From what you told me, they were really nice. Didn’t P’Phayu say that his parents loved you? Are you scared of some weird, rich people, break-up-with-him-or-else type shit?” He speeds up as he goes on, having the gall to be defensive of him while maintaining that he is being dumb.
Rain shakes his head, leaning back at his desk. Their professor had been allowing them to work on their project in class for thirty minutes now, and even the best students in the class have been content to pretend the professor isn’t terribly hungover and just do their own thing. “It isn’t like that— I really do think they liked me, even. They were so nice. But, come on. Any sort of impending ‘conversation’ is terrible. I’ve just had to sit with this all day, knowing that P’Phayu has been planning this carefully so it’s definitely important—”
”Okay, okay,” Sky interrupts. He puts up a hand and pushes on Rain’s chest, where he has leaned all the way forward during his impassioned speech. “I get it.”
”Everything alright?” Ple turns in her seat, tilting her head.
“It’s fine,” Sky snaps before Rain can say anything.
Rain frowns, “You don’t know that!” Ple smiles softly, rolling her eyes; she’s always tended to align closer to Sky than Rain whenever they argue. Something about ‘the sensible one’. Like Sky doesn’t have his moments of being an idiot.
“Let’s remember,” Sky says slowly, purposefully condescending. “That P’Phayu absolutely adores you; worships you.” He looks over to Ple for support, but she seems a little frozen.
She blinks, though, and asks with earnest concern, “Is something wrong with your relationship?”
Sky shoves her lightly, “No! It’s literally just that Rain met Phayu’s parents last week and now Phayu wants to have some form of allegedly serious conversation with him, and Rain is losing his marbles.”
Ple’s eyes widen, “You met his parents?” Rain nods slowly, confused by the shock in Ple’s voice. “It’s just— I… didn’t know it was that serious.” Another very confusing statement, but then again Rain forgets that he tends to tell Sky literally everything that happens to him, and so most of his friends wouldn’t be nearly as caught up. “People talk about his family sometimes but, like, no one seems to actually know much about them. What are they like?”
”Please,” Sky demands, “I have been listening to him talk about them for longer than he has talked about them. They’re lovely people and they really liked Rain. That’s—” he cuts a sharp glare at Rain, “All there is to it.”
”Right,” Ple says after a moment. “Right, of course they do. What are you even worried about, Rain?”
Rain melts into a puddle on the desk in front of him, sulking, “I don’t even know. I’m just worried that something is going to go poorly. My mom’s a goofball; the last time I had a ‘serious conversation’ with a man, my dad left.” Sky barks out a laugh, smacking Rain’s shoulder lightly. Ple laughs too, stifling it with her hand.
“That might be a poor reference point,” Sky wheezes. An alarm goes off at the front of the room, causing a small wince from the professor, and everyone knows what that means without needing any explanation. The students gather up their things and filter out of the classroom, some taking glimpses of their teacher as they pass. ”That was incredibly sad,” Sky mutters in Rain’s ear.
Rain shrugs, mostly feeling sympathy for their professor but unable to muster care for anything beyond his own impending disaster. When he adjusts his bag on his shoulder for the third time by the end of the hallway, Sky smacks him. He doesn’t even say anything, just glares. “Stop acting like I’m being completely unreasonable!” Rain whines.
”You’re not,” Sky admits easily, “It’s just annoying anyway. Like you so often are—”
”Fuck off,” Rain snaps petulantly. Sky grins widely back at him, blinking innocently. Now completely sick of his mean, evil, cruel ‘best friend’, Rain whips his head around, pointedly ignoring Sky, and walks faster to the door.
Sure enough, not two minutes after his class has ended, Phayu’s stupidly cool car is waiting outside the main faculty building. Rain sighs to himself, unfairly affectionate because he is unfortunately, terribly in love with his boyfriend. Phayu emerges from the driver’s seat and smiles warmly, immediately wrapping Rain up in his arms. He presses a gentle kiss to Rain’s temple. “Hello, love.”
Rain can’t control the indulgent grin that spreads on his face, “Hi. You’re definitely acting weird, then. Am I going to learn what’s on your mind, now?”
Phayu huffs a quiet laugh, shaking his head, “I should have known you’d be thinking about it all day if I was even a bit off, hm?” Rain snorts, trying to look mad. “I don’t suppose I can make you wait a little longer?”
Rain squints at him, “That depends on the reason.”
“I want to take you to the cafe that opened up near the house that you’ve been super excited about.” Phayu only earns himself more suspicion with that line.
”Immediately trying to bribe me with sweets does not fill me with hope,” Rain mutters.
Phayu sighs, kisses the side of his head again, and guides Rain back to the car. “I promise this isn’t because something terrible is going to happen, I just want to do something nice for you—”
”Because something bad is going to happen?” Rain suggests with a bit too much energy to retain an air of calm.
“Because I haven’t been super great about this situation, if that wasn’t obvious by the amount of anxiety you’ve built up.” Phayu ushers him into the passenger seat and leans against the door. “I just want to make it up to you a bit.”
Unfortunately, Rain can never really resist Phayu and his charm. Especially because Phayu does know Rain very well, and whenever he tries something like this, it always works. They have a very nice afternoon snack that soothes his nerves and makes him feel much better. Which Rain slowly realizes was Phayu’s other goal in doing this at all.
The new cafe is cozy, a sort of modern in the way that purposefully makes it a young adult daytime lounge. There are tables with soft, mis-matched chairs, bean bags circling a fluffy rug, and another iteration of a similar set up with big, plush couches. It is a wonderful environment, and Rain very much approves of the menu, so he is set into a much better mood than he had previously been in. He already knows he’ll be ending up here regularly.
“You know me too well,” Rain mutters to Phayu after they return to the house. Phayu smiles slyly as they walk up the drive, lacing their fingers together.
“Of course I do,” Phayu says, almost aggrieved, “You’re my darling lover, my favorite person in the world. I pride myself on being an expert.” Rain rolls his eyes, bumping his boyfriend’s shoulder. Even for Phayu, this is a lot of blatant, unprompted flirting, and if it wasn’t so endearing it would probably ramp up Rain’s worry.
But the light, easy mood can only last so long. Phayu actually appears vaguely anxious as they make their way into the house, which is deeply unsettling. Whenever there is something that actually manages to shake Phayu… it deeply concerns Rain. But Phayu also holds Rain’s hand firmly, guiding him into the living room and sitting them both down.
”And this is the part where we get all serious,” Rain groans quietly, frowning.
Phayu sighs, rubbing circles just below Rain’s thumb, “It really doesn’t have to be that bad. Don’t… catastrophize.”
”Then just start,” Rain huffs. “Just— start. I need this waiting to end.” Phayu smiles slightly, his affection clear even under the strain of the circumstances. He doesn’t let go of Rain’s hands, but he readjusts in his seat, still fidgeting. The fidgeting is just starting to get to Rain, he hates watching Phayu be unsure.
“Okay, to start with… it is about my family,” Phayu starts, face falling a bit to a more somber tone. “I have to admit that I sort of kept you separate. I love my parents and my family, but I have kept you firmly away from them.” That stings a little, it was something that Rain had been trying not to think about. “Let me be very clear, it is not about you. Rain, I love you more than anything, and I would— love for you to be part of my family.” The corners of his mouth twitch up as he says it. “I can’t deny that, even though I was upset that my parents just popped up and forced their way in, that I am so glad that my parents like you so much.”
“Then— just explain to me what the problem is,” Rain asks, a little more emotional than he realized as Phayu lays out the part of this that is most painful for Rain. Even if Phayu reassures him that this was never about not being committed to them, it’s scary. It only means that Rain has no idea what is going on with all of this.
Phayu takes a deep breath and reaches into his pocket, producing a silver ring. It’s a thin band that widens at one point to hold some sort of symbol, which Phayu reaches out to show Rain. “This is, ah— my family ring. It feels a little pompous to show it off, it’s… not that common in this century to have a family crest. But maybe that should be telling. Rain, my family is really complicated, not because of interpersonal conflict but… by nature of what it is we do. We have a family business that I was born into, that my Dad was born into, that isn’t very conventional.”
What the fuck does that mean? Rain knows that he tends to have racing thoughts, but every possible explanation is running through his head and most of them feel way too unbelievable. “P’Phayu— I don’t know if I’m scared or just baffled. What is… any of this supposed to mean?”
Phayu clenches his jaw, making his reluctance very clear, but he only tightens his hold on Rain’s hand. “You’ve seen some of my business, love. I’m surprised that you still maintain the image of an upright, straight laced young adult when you’ve been to the races with me.” Rain blinks at him because… because where the hell is this going that has to do with the illegal street races run by a very intimidating, let’s be honest, criminal. The pieces here are… what? A significant family crest, an unconventional family business that Phayu was worried about bringing Rain into, and implications that Rain should take more consideration of the fact that Phayu hangs out with some career criminals. “Rain, there is… a reason that someone like Khun Pakin puts his trust in young adults like me and my brother.”
”P’Phayu— I need you to say this straight up, because everything I’m thinking of feels crazy.” Rain tugs on their joined hands to fully call his attention. “It sounds like you’re telling me that your family are, like— organized criminals.”
Phayu smiles reassuringly, “That is essentially true, but I need to be clear, too. It isn’t that my family are thugs, I mean— look around. I live in my own, custom-built home as a man in my twenties, you know that my family comes from a lot of money. You’ve seen Prapai’s… everything, and—”
”P’Phayu,” Rain croaks, still somehow finding it in him to be firm. “Maybe you’re struggling to find the words because you’re trying to be honest about the seriousness of the situation, but I need you to be completely up front. Are you, like, a mafia prince?” Phayu grimaces, his face gaining hints of repulsion, regret, uncertainty, and guilt all at once. “As in, your dad runs a mafia family?”
Slowly, pained, Phayu nods, “You know Prapai and I are close; we’re cousins, but all of us were just raised as one generation. My family pretty much exists in two branches, so to speak. My dad is the head of the minor family, Prapai’s father is the head of the main family.”
Okay. Okay, alright, holy shit. That’s— that’s where Phayu’s family’s money comes from; their reputation, their influence. Rain has seen the moments where someone at the races just glances at Phayu and they seem to see something that Rain can’t quite place. One particular moment comes to Rain, suddenly, with Prapai. When someone new arrived to compete at the race but they were clearly experienced, Rain was sure they were about to cause problems with how cocky they were being with the other racers. He wasn’t the only one who caught this, but of all the things he thought anyone was going to do about it, he wasn’t expecting one of Prapai’s friends to just… introduce him. And the guy cooled off.
Rain has known that Prapai can be intimidating, he’s seen what the man can do when truly threatened, but he had never thought he had that terrifying of an aura to just shut someone up. But then again, looking back on those moments, on the moment that Rain saw what Prapai can really do when someone he loves is in danger, this explains some things. It explains how Prapai and Phayu have dealt with the worst of the threats that Rain and Sky have ended up at the mercy of.
“Does this— what does this have to do with what happened back then? When I was…” Rain can’t even bring himself to finish the sentence, shivering at the memory.
Phayu clearly remembers, though; his face turns thunderous and his grip tightens further, “That’s what I need to explain to you. What happened wasn’t caused by your relationship to my family, but it was beyond jarring for me, because I didn’t think something like that could happen on it’s own.” Phayu runs his hands up Rain’s arms, pulling Rain into an embrace. Rain is not fully sure how to process any of this, but he’s also so out of it that he just lets himself be moved. “Rain, I took care of that, and I promise that anyone who ever threatens you will have hell to pay. But it scares me so much that you might end up a target, like you did back then, because you’re close to me. I’ve been second guessing myself ever since.”
And that causes Rain to freeze up completely. This is stated in no uncertain terms, and it processes very easily. Phayu’s fear of incorporating Rain into his family is a genuine fear that it might result in another incident like Rain’s kidnapping. Rain was attacked, originally, to get to Phayu; that’s exactly what happened. And that had nothing to do with the fact that Phayu is apparently from a very important family.
But everything is going through Rain’s head like it is full of cotton.
His body feels strange and disjointed, so when he pushes against Phayu’s chest it isn’t with a lot of strength. But as he does it, Phayu’s arms fall away, allowing Rain to pull back. Phayu’s expression is terribly pained as Rain moves away from him, but Rain can’t pay much attention to it right now either.
He pushes himself up from the couch; Phayu jumps up after him, but he isn’t walking away, he just paces around the coffee table. He doesn’t even know what emotion to focus on. The fear from the implications of exactly who Phayu and his family are? The bubbling anger of how significant everything that Phayu has hidden from him is? The anxiety of knowing that this… changes everything? This does change everything. This is why Phayu was so stressed about this, because… what does this mean for their relationship?
Rain takes a long breath that wavers more than he expects it to, revealing to both of them that he’s on the brink of tears. “Rain,” Phayu says desperately, “Love, I—”
”Just give me a second,” Rain rushes breathlessly. “This is— damn it, P’Phayu.” And that’s not a way he usually talks to Phayu either, this really is getting to him. “I understand why you couldn’t tell me this right off the bat, but that doesn’t mean I can just accept that you kept all of this from me.” The strange mix of sympathy and betrayal and guilt for that feeling of betrayal is painful. “And this is a lot to reckon with, too, I mean… this is a lot, okay?”
“I know,” Phayu replies gently, audibly strained. “I get that, baby. I just— want to know what I can do. How can I make this batter? What do you need from me?”
”Space.” Rain surprises even himself with the word as it slips out. He doesn’t like dealing with conflict by pushing Phayu away, it never feels conducive to solving everything. He just can’t handle all of this, he needs to let this sink in and figure out where he is going from here. “I need— I need time, P’Phayu.”
He finally turns around to look at his boyfriend again, and almost regrets it. Seeing something like grief on Phayu is heart wrenching, partially because of how incredibly uncharacteristic it is. Phayu looks utterly heartbroken, taking an aborted step toward Rain. “Rain—”
”I just— need a bit of time,” Rain tries to explain. He doesn’t want Phayu to think he’s just walking away right now, but he can’t think of another thing he wants to do. “I need to process all of this, to figure out how I feel— what I even think.”
He doesn’t even know what he is going to do. He doesn’t exactly want to go home right now, he doesn't know who to go to, but he needs to go. Phayu seems to go through a million emotions in the span of a moment, his face rapidly shifting between expressions. But eventually, he pauses and lets out a slow breath, “Just… take my car. If you’re going to go, I at least need you to be safe. Please go home or to a friend’s or— just don’t go out to a bar or something.”
Rain’s heart squeezes once more. Even now, even in this situation, Phayu is still trying to take care of him. He nods mutely and just takes Phayu’s keys from the table. He’s taking quivering breaths that are quickly getting out of hand, and he is trying very hard not to cry, so he rushes out the door.
A fresh breeze hits him instantly, the cooler air stinging his nose and throat enough to distract him just a little. He stands on the doorstep for a moment, blinking away traces of tears. “I’m going to drive somewhere,” Rain mutters to himself. “So I am going to get my shit together and not be a terribly unsafe driver.”
When he does get himself together to a small extent, he returns to the car that he feels like he has just gotten out of. He starts the car, but at the same time, he still doesn’t exactly know where he wants to go. Well, he does know where he wants to go.
Rain stares at his phone for a couple of seconds and then settles on fuck it. He’s taken in way too much information today. The phone rings a couple of times and then the bright, easy voice of Prapai answers. “Hey, Rain. What’s up?” And Rain notices instantly that he sounds a little invasive.
”You knew,” Rain deadpans, except wow, his voice sounds wet and teary. Prapai inhales sharply, and he decides that he doesn’t even want to deal with whatever Prapai has to say about this. “Does Sky? How much does he know about you?”
Slowly, Prapai admits, “He knows about who we are and what we do, yeah. I’ve kept him away from it, but he knows.” He appears to start to continue, but Rain can’t be bothered.
”Good,” he mutters, almost to himself, and just hangs up. He likes Prapai, the man is his friend, but now is not the time. Rain just needs someone to understand all of this.
His mind is probably way too distant as he drives, he probably shouldn’t be driving. But he does his best to keep his head clear, blasting pop music because that usually gets his mind focused on singing. He likes singing along to the radio. He needs to know he can at least keep his shit together long enough to drive for fifteen fucking minutes.
The cool air is worse the second time he faces it; he only has a sweater, he hadn’t even grabbed a jacket. He hadn’t grabbed a wallet, either, he realizes belatedly. That could’ve been bad too, and he can’t even find much anxiety in himself at the thought of it.
The weird vibes and slight shiver are clearly both picked up on by Sky the moment he opens the door. “Oh no,” Sky mutters, “What happened?”
Rain breaks down on Sky’s doorstep. It isn’t all sobbing and heaving and hyperventilating, but he finally lets tears fall. He still doesn’t know exactly what emotion he is feeling so much, but he doesn’t even care too much anymore.
Sky ushers Rain inside, taking only a moment to close the door behind them before settling them on the bed. Rain kicks his shoes off and pulls his legs up to his chest, hugging his knees. Sky scoots up next to him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders and pulling him into a side hug. “Okay, what happened?” Sky repeats, not unkindly.
“I— I just got, like, ‘the talk’ from P’Phayu,” Rain laughs hollowly. “It’s stupid. I don’t even know what I’m feeling right now.”
Sky blinks at him, trying to parse out some actual meaning, “Okay… I need you to break down what happened, though. Just so I can help.”
”It was about P’Phayu’s family,” Rain mutters. “I mean, like, the stuff about his family, about his and P’Pai’s family.” Understanding slowly dawns on Sky’s expression and he holds Rain tighter.
”Oh, Rain,” Sky starts slowly. “I— okay.” Rain looks up at him expectantly, and he caves, “I’ll be honest, okay? I found out the truth about their family when he dealt with P’Gun. I had a bit of a positively skewed reaction. When I first got the reveal, I got to see the good part, it helped with the shock. Then I had time later to come to terms with everything.”
Rain nods against Sky’s shoulder, because he also gave Prapai mental points despite revealing more violent tendencies just for beating the shit out of Gun. It isn’t difficult to understand. Phayu has done the same, really. Even now, Rain doesn’t really doubt that Phayu would do anything for him. “But… what does this mean about him? I mean, no matter how charming or sweet or— or kind they seem… doesn’t this mean that it could all be a complete lie. How am I supposed to accept that he isn’t a… different person than I think he is?”
”Rain,” Sky readjusts, looking down at Rain with a more serious expression. “Are you afraid of P’Phayu?”
”No!” He says instantly, surprising himself. He didn’t have an answer to that question before, but at the same time, he feels like he answered himself. “I’m— I’m afraid that I should be afraid of him. What if I should? I know— and I trust— P’Phayu, and P’Saifah and P’Pai and his siblings too, but should I? Should we?”
Sky takes an exaggerated breath, and another, in the way that Rain knows he is meant to copy. They go through several cycles of it, actually. “Rain, believe me, I asked myself the same question. You have to work through that with P’Phayu, but I looked at P’Pai’s family with an insanely close eye. I think they take care of their own. While I was worrying, I did ask P’Pai about it eventually. Apparently his parents didn’t grow up so great, their parents were exactly the type you’re worried about. But the last generation of Theerapanyakun, and certainly this one… look at what P’Pai and P’Phayu were like when you or I were hurt. It’s clear that they have a dark side, but I don’t believe for a moment that they would be bad partners.”
This is part of the reason Rain wanted time to think about it. He had seen Phayu in the aftermath of Sky getting attacked, he had seen the horror and the disgust at the realization of how horrible the abuse really was. “Am I going to have to reexamine everything I know about him?” Rain asks miserably.
”Well, I don’t know… maybe,” Sky pats his shoulder. “But that’s why you’re here right now. At a realization like this, it… isn’t unreasonable to question a lot of stuff. It’d be one thing if, like, you were stewing in these terrible thoughts about him, but these are… momentary fears, reasonable doubts. They might fuck with him to hear, sure. However, I’m not him, and I’m not going to go tell him about all the less stellar shit you’re worried about. You need space for these shitty feelings. Happy to help.”
Rain laughs again, still wet and shaky, burying his face in his friend’s chest. They lay there for a while, talking about almost disconnected bits and pieces of this crazy revelation. Rain gets a very interesting little story about Prapai’s siblings. While, of course, Prapai would want to use very polite language and make things easy to swallow, his siblings actually found some glee in being… brutally honest. They didn’t want to scare off Sky either, but they were more than happy to use language like ‘blood money’. It was ‘helpfully desensitizing’ for Sky.
“I think P’Saifah would fulfil that role startlingly well,” Rain snorts. After he gets over talking and talking and talking about everything, they just chill. They have a long running tradition of binge-watching always turning into One Piece marathons. Sky has been trying to get Rain to watch the atrociously long show for ages, mainly in constantly bringing it up and fighting with Rain about it while worming it in at every possible chance. Rain’s invested at this point, he’ll admit it’s very good, but he has to keep up the argument for appearance's sake.
They cuddle up in Sky’s bed a bit too late, both a bit too worn out from the revelations of the day. Sky had his fair share of dealing with the repercussions too, despite being the one who was sure everything would be fine. Still, Rain can tell that his own semi-calm has in turn soothed Sky. They’re both actually able to fall asleep.
~~~
Rain always wakes up later than Sky. The latter might not be any more of a morning person than Rain, but he puts more effort into maintaining a consistent sleep schedule. Rain can be a bit messy about it all. So, he drags himself out of Sky’s bed when the other is already up and a little bit prepared for the day.
Sky is sitting at his coffee table, absently eating breakfast and looking at something on his phone. He looks up with a bemused expression, “I’m glad you’re up. How are you feeling about everything?”
Rain pouts, “First thing in the morning?”
”Yeah, because P’Pai is pretty desperate for some updates.” Sky pauses and blinks, “Well, he already passed on that you’re safe, so I really don’t know if he’s digging for P’Phayu’s sake or just his own curiosity and concern.” Rain’s complicated emotions must show on his face, because he frowns. “Hey, if you need some more time, I can also tell him to make sure that P’Phayu stays away for a while.”
Rain’s biggest fear about any of this is that he will lay eyes on Phayu and all proper reasoning will go out the window. “I should… definitely make a decision before I face him.”
Sky tilts his head, “If you want to talk it out with him— oh, you’re going to fold like wet paper the second you see him. That’s pathetic.”
“He’s so charming, and handsome, and,” Rain adds as Sky’s face gets more and more condescending, “I’m in love with him! Which puts a lot more weight on the first two.” Sky rolls his eyes, but he doesn’t say anything because they both know that if he did, Rain would bring up a little something about ‘folding like wet paper’ for the hot, rich tamed player who beat the shit out of his abusive ex, which was definitely hot. “I don’t want to see him and cave.”
“Yeah, yeah,” Sky sighs, smothering a smile. “Will do. There’s food in the fridge,” he points absently to his small kitchen. Rain isn’t super hungry, actually, he’s not huge on food in the morning. This is something Sky and Phayu both have been driven mad by, and the thought sends a pang of pain through Rain’s heart.
Instead, he just fills a glass of water and chugs it, trying to forcibly refresh himself. Sky’s apartment is surprisingly high quality, and the cold water starts to actually walk him up. Rain doesn’t know what he is going to do to move forward through this. Where does he go next with this horrible train of thought?
One part of this is coming to terms with all of the things he learned about Phayu; the other, though, is making a choice. Does he want to be involved with all of this? It’s a confusing question to answer, because another easy way to phrase it is: does he love Phayu enough to overcome the difficulty of the circumstances? But that’s not the right way to think about it either— Rain knows that it’s a dangerous way to think about it. This is about his personal, physical safety; it is dangerous to think of this situation as choosing what he values more: his own safety or Phayu.
What was it that Phayu said yesterday? ‘I promise that anyone who ever threatens you will have hell to pay’ were his exact words. And Rain… believes that. He has tried so fucking hard to forget his kidnapping, but he has never been able to. And Phayu had raised hell back then.
He had gotten so hurt for Rain’s sake, and he had never truly given in either; and, after that, he had sworn up and down that everything had been taken care of. True enough, when Rain had been unable to resist his paranoia, he hadn’t found a trace of Stop. Now, obviously, it’s clear that Phayu had made use of his family to protect them both. Plus, what about Phayu’s family?
Phayu had said his dad, he uses different ways to refer to each of his parents— ‘dad’ means Vegas, ‘pa’ means Pete. Rain has always found it cute. And Vegas is… the head of a mafia family. Holy shit. Well, okay, Vegas’ cousin Kinn— Phayu considers Prapai’s parents as his uncles, their family dynamics are a bit complicated— is— wait—
“Actually, I would like to talk,” Rain spins on his heel. “I’m trying to sort out this family dynamic—” Sky bursts out laughing, shaking his head.
”No— yeah, yeah,” he waves Rain over to the couch. “I got the whole run down because I kept asking about P’Pai’s family because his uncle is Wik.”
Rain nods, he remembers getting all excited about that too, then pauses again, “Wik is in the fucking mafia?” Sky bursts out laughing all over again, but Rain is just drained. “Wattpad bullshit,” he mutters to himself, “I swear to god.”
Sky pushes himself up from the floor to the couch, settling next to Rain. He pulls out his phone and searches through his photos until there is a large family portrait. There are two rows of people, the younger kids including Phayu and Prapai in front, and the older men in the back. “Their family technically has some complicated stuff,” Sky starts, “Because the last generation were cousins. The technicality would make P’Phayu’s dad, for example, P’Pai’s… second cousin? But it’s like this.” As he speaks, he points from one person to the next. “In age order, Tankhun, Kinn, and Kim— a.k.a. Wik— are brothers. Their cousins are Vegas and his younger brother Macau. The issue is that Vegas and Kinn’s fathers, while brothers, hated each other. Mostly because they were both just… terrible people. Each brother controlled a part of the family, and Kinn ended up the heir to the ‘main’ family, while Vegas was heir to the ‘minor’ family.”
Rain nods slowly, mainly focusing on committing it to memory so he can turn it over in his head enough times for it to fully sink in. “Alright, so that’s how the two halves of the family work?”
”Yeah, it’s pretty much that those two brothers hated each other so much that while their family was shifting into also being a… business of sorts… that they decided to structure it into two whole, different parts. When the older generation were young adults, these two were determined to make Kinn and Vegas more than rivals, like— enemies. But they moved on from that, in part thanks to their partners: P’Pai’s other dad, Porsche, and P’Phayu’s, Pete.” Sky takes a long breath, probably exaggerated to make Rain grateful for the long, laborious explanation.
Rain ignores him, entranced by the image. All of them fit the secret life they hide, they could look intimidating, it isn’t difficult to imagine it. Phayu is in front of Vegas, and in a way they look similar. Rain remembers something about Phayu technically being related to his father, that it was another weird quirk of how their family ended up. The resemblance is subtle, but certain. “So, it’s the structure they took on in the wake of two men using their kids like weapons? Any members of the older generation that aren’t your parents are aunts and uncles; any members of the younger generation that aren’t your kids are nieces and nephews. But they have quite shaken the structure of their family, maybe because of the, ah… business aspect?”
Sky grins, “You got it. We’ll make a gangster’s wife out of you yet.”
Rain drops his head against Sky’s shoulder grumbling incoherently. “Can’t believe my boyfriend is a fucking mafia prince apparently,” he groans, stomping his feet a little. Sky snorts, rubbing his head.
“I’ve been thinking about it too, you know,” he murmurs. “But, honestly… look at P’Pai, P’Phayu, and all of their siblings. They still get to live their lives and stuff. That’s going to change a bit, when it becomes their responsibility, but I think it’s a choice I can make. The man I love, a family I really feel like I’m a part of, and mostly just… defending that family. I can do those things. I don’t want to influence your decision, but I had to make this one too.”
Rain squeezes Sky’s arm, a small act of recognition, but doesn’t say anything. They just stay there for a while longer. Sky stays on his phone, taking care not to jostle Rain much as he presumably texts his boyfriend. Rain’s phone is in the other room, and he hadn’t even plugged it in. Yet here he is… sort of wishing that he could hear his ringtone.
Sky must pick up on it, Rain knows he does, and clearly gets sick of it fairly quickly. “Okay, I’m texting him,” Sky leans down and says. “You want to see him, it’s so obvious.” And he is… definitely right. But what the hell is Rain supposed to do when he faces Phayu?
He groans loudly, slouching back, “What the fuck am I doing?” Sky giggles, no longer sympathetically, ruffling his hair. He goes back to tapping away at his phone while Rain laments his fate.
He snorts, suddenly, tilting his phone away from Rain even though he wasn’t looking at it, “Yeah, there’s a storm headed straight for my front door. You better fucking answer it when he gets here; if he breaks down my fucking door, you’re paying for it. Literally and figuratively.”
It barely takes ten minutes until there is loud, jarring banging on the front door.
”You’re not sorting this shit out here,” Sky informs happily, nudging Rain toward the door. Rain does get up, despite his misgivings, because what he wants more than anything is to work this out. One way or another, he knows with sudden clarity that he needs to face Phayu now.
~~~
Phayu didn’t sleep much at all. He can’t fall asleep, he’s tossing and turning; considering how pathetic any attempts at rest were, he doesn’t consider himself to have slept at all. He just waits.
He gets a text from Prapai early on, letting him know that Rain ended up at Sky’s place. There is a tracker in his car, but using that at a time like this had felt like overstepping. Phayu had wanted to hold out as long as possible, but he is unfortunately thankful that Prapai contacted him rather quickly.
By the morning, he is spending far more time texting Prapai than he has in a while; it’s a depressing mix of needed someone to talk him down from the amount of panic over what is going on and wheedling out updates whenever he can. Luckily, Sky seems much more forthcoming this morning, which hopefully means that Rain hasn’t settled on leaving him for good.
The thought sends a shiver down his spine. Phayu sets his coffee mug back down on the kitchen counter, leaning against the edge. He should probably stop drinking coffee, because it’s still early and he’s refilled his cup twice, but he also tells himself it's better than getting drunk before breakfast. Because the urge to open a bottle of whiskey is certainly there.
His phone rings and Phayu’s head snaps down, but his hope is quickly quashed. He’s been ignoring calls from his parents all night anyway. He hadn’t told them about his plans to talk to Rain last night, but Prapai must have snitched after it went down. He knows, realistically, that his dads only want to help, but he wants— needs to deal with this himself. To see this through. Phayu is an adult, and this is his relationship and his family’s issues; it’s time for him to step up and deal with it.
His phone vibrates on the counter again, not long enough for a call, so Phayu’s hope is instantly that Prapai has another small piece of information from him. But when he looks once more, all Prapai has said is ‘you can go over to Sky’s now, lover boy’.
Phayu does not need any more prompting. He grabs his phone and his keys as he rushes out the door, barely bothering to grab a jacket; it’s only that, at the last moment, he remembers that Rain’s is still here, and if Rain is without a coat then Phayu much prefers to have one. He goes on his bike, weaving in and out of traffic in a way that Rain would most certainly scold him for if he had ever seen it, except Phayu would never drive like this with Rain sitting behind him.
He makes it to Sky’s apartment building in under ten minutes, which is a testament to his dangerous driving. Noticing the electricity under his skin, knowing he is far more keyed up than he wants to be, he bypasses the elevator and rushes up the stairs. He makes it up those way too fast too.
He takes a deep breath outside the door, trying to regain some sensibility, but when he knocks he can hear his own desperation. It takes about seven seconds for him to start debating if he should knock a second time, but then he hears the lock click. The door opens about a third of the way, Rain peeking out from behind it. He looks tired, more than anything else, and cautious as he meets Phayu’s eyes. ”Rain,” he starts breathlessly.
”Just—,” Rain startles, “Uh, give me a second, okay?” Phayu is helpless to him, always has been, so he just nods. Rain abandons the door still ajar and appears a minute later with whatever he arrived with. “I’d rather do this in the privacy of home.”
Rain still considers Phayu’s house home, that is enough to make his heart squeeze. “You still have my car keys, yeah?” Phayu asks, keeping his voice gentle. Rain blinks, then his eyes widen with concern, so Phayu cuts him off before he can even start. “I’ll come back for my bike later, or tomorrow— I really don’t care. It’s not important right now. At all.”
Rain looks away, chewing on his lip the way he always does when he is flustered. God, Phayu loves him so much.
Even if it is quiet, and for the most part Rain seems lost in thought, they still fall into step seamlessly. Rain climbs into the passenger seat of Phayu’s car, fiddles with the radio, adjusts his seat the way he always does. Maybe, just maybe, they’re going to go back to normal. Maybe it’s going to be okay.
Phayu tries to use that thought to quell some of his worries and drive like a responsible person. He can’t hide the white knuckle grip on the steering wheel, though. He can’t hide just how worried he is, if Rain’s constant glances are anything to go by. But Phayu steels his resolve to keep his composure. And, at least for the drive, he does. He remains calm as he parks, and as they return to the house once more, and as he follows Rain who wanders upstairs, into their bedroom.
“Rain,” he starts again, voice uncharacteristically broken. His boy looks up, and he looks heartbroken.
”Okay, okay,” Rain breathes, already distressed but visibly determined. “P’Phayu… I don’t know how much I'm considering this properly, first of all. Even knowing this, I’m in the dark about a lot of stuff. I don’t fully know what your life is actually like— I can glimpse it, through the races, but some things… I can only imagine. And basing assumptions off of my mental images is never a good plan. I don’t know what to do here.”
Phayu waits and listens, he tries to be patient, but Rain’s increasing misery makes him want to abandon any attempts at letting Rain work through anything and just go to him. He knows that he needs to give Rain the space to make this decision but everything in him screams to comfort him, to fix the problem, and offer anything that might be a solution. “Whatever you need, Rain. Whatever you need to know or hear or see, I’ll provide it.”
Rain is watching him, just observing. Phayu rarely sees him like this, so concentrated on one, singular thing that is occupying his entire mind. He doesn’t know what to do under this rare, uncharacteristic scrutiny until Rain’s expression cracks. “P’Phayu… I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to make this easier to swallow, or how to just get myself to accept this. I’m lost here.”
So what now? Phayu hates this more than anything else, he suspects that Rain knows this, by the guilt on his face. Phayu hates not being able to do anything, not having a way to help the man he loves and solve these problems. He is speechless; of all things, he, of all people, doesn't know what to say.
Rain knows this too, “P’Phayu, I love you.” No— no, absolutely not— Phayu can’t take that. He takes a step forward and reaches out, but he isn’t quick enough. “I know I just need to deal with this for a while. I need some time to deal with this.”
“Rain,” Phayu growls, unable to contain his fear any longer. “Whatever you need to do, just let me do it with you. If you need time, space, that’s— I understand that, I can give you that, but don’t walk away from me. Please, baby, let us do this together.” Tears bubble up in Rain’s beautiful, round eyes, trailing down his cheeks as he tries to blink them away. Phayu can’t take it, he needs to pull Rain into his arms, to comfort him, to make everything okay. But Rain takes a step back.
”P’Phayu, I don’t— I don’t want to,” his voice wavers as he speaks. “I just need a bit of time, okay? Just— just a few days, I’m going to stay with my mom and sort out how I feel.” Phayu feels his heart breaking in two, a huff of breath is punched from his chest. “I’ll— I’ll be back, okay?” Rain tries to smile through his tears, “I’ll call you. I just need some time.” He puts his hand over his mouth, stifling a sob and then wiping away the tears in his eyes.
“Rain,” Phayu tries again. Rain turns away, taking a step toward the door. “Baby, please, Rain—” but the boy keeps going. He rapidly speeds up, all but fleeing, and all Phayu is met with is the door slamming behind him.