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Hoshi Kirara needed a girlfriend ASAP.
The reason? Not important. The deadline? Three days. The duration? For two months at least. The reason? NOT IMPORTANT. The type? Highly feminine. The personality? Feminine but also willing to go along with fake dating. The reason? …pretend heterosexuality…
Yes, Kirara – second-year student at Jujutsu High – was in that phase of her life where she needed a security girlfriend to fake being hetero. It happened to the best of them especially her, commonly known as he. What else was one future girl to do to not be thrown out of school? Kinji had offered her his girlfriend to parade around the dormitories and classrooms in front of the old farts from the school administration but that idiot couldn’t have come up with a dumber plan than that.
1) It was no secret he was dating that girl and 2) Kinji hadn’t even asked his girlfriend if she was okay with that and 3) Kirara was sure said girlfriend would steal her money if she weren’t careful for three seconds. That was why on this hot summer day, Kirara didn’t style her hair or put on any makeup or dress when she went to a shopping mall; a place where at this time of the day lots and lots of high school students hang out to spend time with their friends… and romantic interests.
The only thing left to do was to find a (feminine) girl (in contrast to her lack of masculine self) and get that girl to fake date her (currently disguised as him).
If only it wasn’t that hard. Turns out that going to a school where the student body never in 60 years had exceeded ten people, and that killing curses and working on your cursed technique most of your time, didn’t help in the flirting department. Add on top of that how Kirara’s existing flirting skills and mannerisms went into the female flirting department and not the male one and you got one frustrated teen who couldn’t hold a supposedly romantic conversation for life.
‘I’ll just do it like Kinji!’ was her last attempt at flirting that day and yes, Kirara was willing to lose money on the next girl just like her classmate constantly did. So she went to a high-end clothes department and looked for a girl wanting to buy something but was unable to. Casually and full of masculine bravado, Kirara went up to that girl like Kinji would and asked her if she really liked that dress in her lowest voice.
Two hours later, Kirara had spent the last three months of her sorcerer's salary on his maybe-girlfriend who broke up with her when she confessed to needing a fake girlfriend for school.
“I… I think I’ll give all of these back. I don’t want to be bought.”
“No, keep the clothes and accessories,” Kirara should’ve known the Kinji method wouldn’t amount to much. It wasn’t even working for Kinji. “I didn’t want to buy your time and affection or anything. I’m just trying to figure out how to, you know, survive school.” Both literally and metaphorically in Kirara’s case but right now this wasn’t about surviving curses. “Let’s put this under life lessons learned.”
“…yeah, I guess.”
Her nearly fake girlfriend went away and left her on a bench to brood about her upcoming suspension from school for being a bit too queer. She wasn’t queer enough actually, otherwise, she would’ve had someone already but no, apparently being trans didn’t automatically give you the ability to flirt and be (fake) boyfriend material. Kirara couldn’t believe how a skill she never employed was so hard to pull off when she needed it all of a sudden. It was probably her cursed technique that made finding a girlfriend hard for her, she thought.
Love Rendezvous; the epitome of irony. There were no rendezvouses to be had and they definitely weren’t about (fake) love.
Just when Kirara wanted to give up for the day (and the week, and her school, and her sorcerer life), her two-hour girlfriend came back. From all the shopping bags she had, only one remained while she handed Kirara a few gift cards from the places they had gone to. “The life lessons we learn don’t have to be that harsh, right?” she said after having given all her clothes and other things Kirara had bought her back. The only exception was that first dress over which Kirara had approached her.
“Tha-thanks!”
“Farewell!”
So life didn’t have to be that harsh, hä? With new energy and gift cards, Kirara went back to look for a short-time girlfriend, this time though with more honesty and less flirting. It still didn’t work out though unfortunately, because honesty couldn’t compensate for the fact she wanted a fake girlfriend for her fake boyhood on short notice. Who would want to do that for a stranger?
…Kinji’s girlfriend probably… at least Kirara had her money in the form of gift cards back…
…but she rather accepted her fate right now than humiliate herself further to please old conservative fucks. She went back to all the shops she had been in wanting to buy herself new clothes to mourn or celebrate getting thrown out the next week. Her feelings on that would probably change a few times but at least she was content with herself now.
Later, she looked around the women’s jeans aisle, not sure what to get, when someone approached her.
“Don’t take that one. The buttons came loose and I’m here to bring mine back.”
“Oh.” Kirara looked back at the girl who told her that just to see one of the prettiest ones from this whole day but no. She wouldn’t go back to flirting and failing again. That was behind her now. “I can sew though, so that won’t be a problem.”
“Good,” the girl with her long brown hair put up in a ponytail but with two long bangs to the side said. “I can too but I have a policy to not keep clothes that can’t get their buttons to stay for two weeks,” she finished, an easy smile on her face.
“Huh?” Don’t flirt fail this! “Maybe I should have a policy like that as well.” You already accepted your sad fate! “Would keep my sewing costs down.” You look like a gay boy now anyway! “Any recommendations for other jeans?”
“I wanted this one but I chose the one my younger brother pointed at. That was my fault though, he didn’t want to be here with me and just picked some pants without looking to get back home faster.”
“Well, shopping can be tedious without the right mindset… and company.” Don’t do it! Don’t!! There is no way a pretty girl like that will want to spend time with you! “Either everyone does their own thing or someone fantasizes about ramming a coat hook through their eye.” Ahhhhhhh! No proper girl has fucked up humour like that! The not-flirting is failing!
“Uwhaha!”
…or not.
“My brother would rather put a coat hook into someone else’s eye before suffering that on his own!”
The girl’s laughter made Kirara laugh as well, probably her first stress-free laugh of the day. “Sounds like an otōto troublemaker.”
“He is! Such a broody teenager acting like he needs to be a depressed adult!”
“Okay, but my friend is the opposite of that and that isn’t better.”
“Really?”
Kirara had accepted her fate so she resolutely didn’t bring up school or her need for a girlfriend, nor did she try to be romantic with the nice girl who helped her spend the money on the rest of her gift cards on things for herself. While going through the shops and picking and choosing things, Kirara sheepishly admitted that those clothes were for her and not for some non-existent female friend, to which that pretty girl replied that she had already guessed that.
From then on the picking and choosing turned into trying and comparing and that went on until the late hours when Kirara was in a new dress, shoes and makeup and her new friend was, too. “Forget putting coat hooks through other people’s eyes, my brother would’ve jumped out of a window onto oncoming traffic long ago.”
“My friend would’ve left me here to go gambling with a fake ID and he wouldn’t have remembered my existence for at least two days.”
The two girls laughed their asses off while leaving the shopping mall and looking up which busses and trains they could take to hang out a little more. After another half an hour of talking, making jokes and showing funny videos to each other, it was finally time to part ways.
“Come visit me at the weekend! You can meet my eternally grumpy brother, too!”
“All right but only if I come as a boy and magically transform into a girl at some point.”
“Deal! He’ll confusedly narrow his eyes at you and wonder if you’re the same person before giving up and going back to being a grouch.”
Kirara’s stop was coming up fast and she had to admit, despite all the stress from not only today but the last weeks and months, how she had a wonderful day at the end. And a new friend she loved to spend time with. If the rest of her suspended school life would go like that, she would be rather happy with it she decided. There was just one problem…
…somehow, amongst making fun of younger brothers and gambling-addicted classmates, the two girls forgot to introduce each other and every time Kirara remembered that it was too awkward for her to remedy it. They somehow even managed to exchange addresses and telephone numbers without finding out their names which Kirara miserably thought was because of the “no flirting” rule she imposed on herself.
(The name she used for her new friend on her phone? Pretty Girl.)
“Yeah, ähm… so–”
“I’m sorry for forgetting to introduce myself, and–“
After talking at the same because they were both clumsy idiots right now and earlier, they laughed again before properly introducing themselves.
“My name is Tsumiki, nice to meet you!”
“My name is Kirara, nice to meet you too!”