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Carlos would never tell a soul. The switch to Williams affected him more than he wants to admit. It was difficult leaving his team, his home, Charles. Oh, how he missed Charles. Williams has been treating him nicely. Alex has been kind to him, especially when he knows how to read Carlos. He knew it was hard for the Spaniard, especially with his crush on the Monegasque. He hadn’t told Charles about his breakup since everyone's attention was on Carlos leaving the team, he wished he could’ve stayed longer to confess his love to Charles. He missed everything about the Monegasque; he wanted to be everything to him, the person he could come back to and ramble to whenever Max overtook him, the person to hold him during his lowest, the person he loved.
Carlos found himself in yet another meeting, but this one felt particularly dull. They were simply reviewing the basics for Williams, discussing their teamwork, and covering other topics that he wasn’t paying attention to. Although the season hasn’t kicked off yet, it appeared that the team was eager to prepare now that Carlos had joined them. He wasn’t sure why Alex was in the meeting too, he’d been there longer than Carlos had, but oh well, what could he do? He’d fidget with one of the pens on the table, occasionally nodding and humming in agreement as the engineers discussed amongst each other.
The meeting would finally end, finally allowing Carlos to stand and stretch, his joints popping as he groaned out. “Hey, Carlos!” He’d hear a voice call from behind as he exited the room. He’d look back, watching Alex catch up to him with a smile. “Seems like you were bored during the meeting, are you still thinking about…y’know?” He’d ask quietly, not wanting to share anything out loud since he knew the Spaniard wasn’t out to the public yet, including their team. Carlos would sigh, nodding as they walked next to each other. “It’s just hard, Alex… Leaving the one person you love,” He’d quietly say as he held the door open for the Brit, walking out of the Williams headquarters. The Brit would just nod quietly, motioning for Carlos to follow along. “Let’s get some tea,” he suggested as they walked through the street.
They’d finally arrive at a cafe, sitting down at a booth near the window. “Hey, Alex! Neat seeing you again! I see you brought a friend?” One of the waitresses would exclaim happily, it seemed like Alex was a frequent customer whenever they were nearby. Alex nodded as he smiled, “Yep, we’re just talking about a couple of work things,” He’d say as Carlos skimmed over the small menu the waitress had given him since he was new in the place. “I’ll just get a hot chocolate,” Carlos would say as he handed the waitress the menu before looking back at Alex who was playing with his bracelet.
“Y’know, I was kinda in the same position as you,” Alex would start as he let out a small sigh before adding, “I guess I was crushing on Logan for a while, especially the first time that he joined the team in 2023… I always tried denying it, but I figured that maybe if I kept suppressing the emotions, I’d eventually forget and keep going like nothing…” He’d add on as he watched the waitress arrive, handing both drivers their drinks. Carlos nodded his head at the waitress, thanking her as he stared at his chocolate while Alex continued. “Eventually, I thought I forgot everything, but in reality, it just made things awkward between us. He always seemed to avoid me, maybe because he thought that I hated him instead,” He’d say as he chuckled, sipping his tea afterward before sighing. “I never really thought of it and didn’t realize that I was hurting Logan by not telling him how I felt, but… I told him a couple of months before he was removed from the team,” He’d say as he took another sip from his tea, Carlos also taking a sip from his hot chocolate.
“Listen, what I’m trying to say here is that it isn’t too late for you. Yes, you’re in a different team, but both of you haven’t left the sport itself. It’s better to be together now rather than what I did with Logan. We still hang out, yes, but it’s harder since he has to wait for the break for me.” The Brit said before drinking his tea once more, wiping his mouth with his sleeve. Carlos would nod, staying silent. He sipped his chocolate one last time, he never expected Alex to open up, more so share his own experience with love on the grid. Maybe he was like Carlos a bit after all. “You’re right,” Carlos said quietly, his hand slightly trembling as he held the nearly empty mug of hot chocolate. “I still have time, I can still tell him,”
Carlos would quickly stand up, Alex quickly following along as he left some money on the table. “Do you have a plan, at least?” Alex asked as he walked alongside Carlos, tucking his hands into his pockets as the soft, cool wind hit them. Admittedly, no, but it would be a good idea for him to start making an idea. “No, I’m leaving for Spain again soon… Spending time with family, y’know, before we start testing more,” He’d say as he sighed, feeling a bit defeated with his feelings. Alex would think a bit, letting out a small hum. “Well, we’ll just need to see what happens, if you can’t tell him soon, then you’ll need to tell him later.
Carlos would just nod before sighing, arriving at the Williams headquarters, and getting into his car. He’d wave goodbye to Alex before driving away, thinking as he drove down the moonlit road. He knew he had to do something before someone else could get to Charles, he just had a gut feeling about it. Shaking it off, he’d focus on how he’d be with family soon. He’ll be having a relaxing vacation, right?
Carlos regrets thinking that the vacation would be relaxing from whatever would pop up, just like Alex, he thought he could suppress his feelings, but instead, it began doing more harm than good. “Carlos, amor, are you okay?” Carlos’ mom would ask as she sat next to the driver, clearly concerned for her son. Carlos hadn’t noticed that he was scrolling endlessly through the various articles he saw posted online. “Charles and Max Spending Their Vacation Together?” “Fans spotted famed Formula 1 Drivers together, were they holding hands? Read now!”
“I… I don’t know ma…” Carlos said quietly, his voice slightly trembling as he gripped his phone, his worst fear having become true, he was too late. He watched as a text from Alex came in, clearly having seen the articles too, “I’m so sorry mate… I should’ve given you the advice sooner..” He’d swipe the notification away before wiping his eyes, tears threatening to spill out from his eyes. He hadn’t felt this way in a while; it’s been a long time. Carlos felt his mom hug him, the motherly instincts kicking in. “Mijo, que pasa?” She’d ask quietly, unaware of her son’s feelings. “Ma, I think I like guys… I like women too, but…” He’d say, his voice trembling with fear of being rejected by his mother, but instead, she hugged him closer.
“Mijo, I still love you, it doesn’t matter to me, I want you to truly be happy in life,” She’d say as she wiped away Carlos’ tears. Carlos let out a sniffle as he let out a sad smile, deciding to reveal to her how he truly felt. “Well, I’ve had a thing for Charles for a bit now, but.. I don’t know, there’s just been articles on Max and him, and I don’t know if I was too late,” He’d wince out as he rubbed his eyes. He’d show his mom the articles of Charles and Max, skimming over them as he felt his heartache at the pictures of both of the drivers. They both looked so happy, maybe Charles wasn’t made for Carlos. He felt tears threaten to spill out once more as he shut off his phone, he couldn’t feel this way. “Carlos, it’s okay,” His mother would say as she rubbed his back, comforting Carlos as she pulled him into an embrace. This would be a long break.
The next few days of being home felt like hell, Carlos wasn’t able to eat well, letting his thoughts get to him instead of thinking of other things, and he knew his family could tell how he felt. Testing was soon, and he couldn’t show up looking like a mess, but he really couldn’t do anything about it. He returned to the Williams headquarters immediately after his small vacation, preparing to test on whatever track the team decided they wanted to be in. As the team spoke, he felt his phone buzz, having gotten a text from Alex. “Hey, it seems like Redbull and Ferrari are testing around the same time as us, I just wanted to give you a heads up,” The Spaniard felt himself tense up, his gut filling with anxiety as he gulped. He couldn’t switch testing times anyway; it was a team-mandated training session like the rest of them always were.
The team had finally gone out to the track, putting a couple of laps in to test the car and change anything to Carlos and Alex’s liking. Carlos was talking away with Alex before he felt his heart begin to rush, seeing Charles with Max a couple of steps away behind Alex. He felt his chest tighten as Alex looked at him with a confused expression. “Carlos? Are you okay?” He’d ask as he glanced behind him quickly. Carlos would curse under his breath as he watched Charles laugh and smile with Max. He’d feel his eyes go wide as he realized Charles was looking directly at him, giving the other a warm smile. Without saying anything he’d walk into the garage, leaving Alex confused and following. “Carlos, wait!” He’d shout as he tried to follow behind the Spaniard, realizing that the Monegasque had grabbed his shoulder. “Mate, is Carlos alright? He looked like he saw a ghost!” Charles asked as he looked at the Brit, clearly concerned for the other.
“Yes, he’s fine!” Alex would squeak out as he removed Charles’ hand gently before sprinting inside, wanting to find Carlos, leaving Charles confused and worried outside of the Williams garage. Carlos had made his way out of the track, having told the team he wasn’t feeling good, likely due to the fact he hadn’t been eating well in the past few days, which was likely true. He felt his phone blow up, texts from Charles coming in, asking if he was okay and that he just wanted to catch up. Carlos dismissed the texts as he quickly got into his car, not saying anything to anyone who was around before speeding off to his hotel. He just wanted to be alone, what he didn’t know was that Charles had texted that he would be going to the hotel to check up on him after the testing for Ferrari was done.
Carlos would finally arrive at the hotel, getting out of his car and sprinting his way inside. He didn’t want any fan interactions, not at the moment at least. He’d open the door quickly, his hands slightly trembling as he finally shut the door, sitting against it as he dug his face into his hands. He was so embarrassed at just leaving the testing. He’d definitely be hearing from James later, but he didn’t care, he needed to be alone. He’d feel himself grow more tired by the second as he let out a sigh. He’d stand slowly, rubbing his eyes as he changed out of his outside clothes, changing into more comfortable clothes to sleep.
Making his way to the bed, he’d place his phone on the nightstand, turning on Silent Mode to not be bothered by anyone. He’d lay on the bed, shutting his eyes as he let his exhaustion take over, hoping that maybe the news and the interactions he had seen were all a part of a dream and that maybe he had already confessed his feelings to Charles. With a soft exhale, Carlos would fall asleep, unaware that Charles was blowing up his phone, worried about the other who had so clearly avoided him.
After hours of his nap, Carlos would wake up, letting out a groan as he heard someone knocking on his door almost frantically. He’d sit up, rubbing his eyes as he yawned, beginning to make his way to the door. Without thinking, he’d open the door, expecting to see James himself coming to possibly slander Carlos for leaving so early, but instead, he was met with Charles, who was relieved to see that the other was okay. “Carlos! Mate, you had me worried sick!” The Monegasque exclaimed as he let out a sigh, holding up the bag of treats he had gotten to share. Carlos would gulp as he moved to the side, letting the younger enter the hotel. “Sorry if I’m a mess, I just woke up..” He’d mumble quietly, watching as Charles set up the snacks near the sofa.
“Don’t even worry about it; I’m more worried about you maybe being sick!” Charles would say as he looked at Carlos, one of his hands on his hip. “You were ignoring my calls and messages, I don’t know how many notifications you got!” He’d say as he allowed the Spaniard to sit down, noticing how the other seemed tense, almost nervous at what the interaction would be. “Mate, please talk to me… What’s wrong?” He’d ask as he knelt in front of Carlos, who was focused on his hand more than anything. Carlos would just let out a sigh, shaking his head. “I’m just feeling sick, mate… that’s all…” He’d mumble quietly, failing to hide his true feelings. Charles shook his head, grabbing Carlos’ hands to comfort him, causing him to let out a small whimper, an almost fearful one. Feeling himself start to crack, he felt tears roll down his cheeks as the drops landed on Charles’ hands, who were still holding Carlos’ own hands
“It’s just that…” Carlos would hesitantly say, his voice trembling as he felt himself sniffle. God, he felt so weak. He felt as if he was a child crying for his mom again, only this time it was different than all the past experiences. “Charles, you have changed my life for the greater good, and for the past years at Ferrari, I never realized how much I truly did like being around you,” He’d manage to say without letting the emotions take over. “I didn’t realize how much I cherished you with the moments we always shared together, but you were like my star in my night… You lit everything up so fast and changed everything for me in a matter of seconds every day,”
He sounded so cheesy, Carlos thought to himself as he spoke, his voice trembling as he continued with what he assumed was his heart and soul confessing to Charles. “And I understand that you’re with Max now bu-” He’d be cut off by Charles, who was clearly in shock at the statement that Carlos was about to say, “You think I’m with Max…?” He’d ask quietly, his own eyes filled with tears from the confession Carlos had given. The Spaniard felt his eyes widen as he gulped, nodding as he trembled, “Well, yeah! You two were together during the break, and I assumed that, y’know…” Carlos admitted as he looked away from Charles quickly.
“Mate, that was a vacation between friends… though I do understand since you were likely looking at the news articles, weren’t you?” Charles added softly, caressing Carlos’ hands in a comforting way. Carlos nodded, feeling another ramble in coming as he just let the tears roll down his cheeks. “Y..Yeah, but y’know, if you still want to be with him I under-” Carlos felt himself be cut off once more, but not by word, but by Charles’ lips, leaving him wide-eyed. Charles would pull away quickly, his face flushed as he stared at Carlos. “Carlos, I want to spend my life with you… Sure, I’m with Max sometimes, but we’re nothing but best mates to each other, he has his own thing going on, alright?” He’d say softly as he wiped Carlos’ tears away. Carlos would just nod quietly, his cheeks flushed as he felt his fears melt away.
He felt himself being led back onto the bed, only this time Charles lay with him, holding the Spaniard close as he rubbed his back. “I love you, Carlos, to the moon and back,” Charles would quietly admit. Carlos felt his face warm up at the comment as he hugged the other close, letting out a breathy sigh. “I love you too, Charles, my star…” He’d reply quietly as he felt himself grow tired. He felt himself falling asleep, inhaling his now partner's scent as he slowly drifted off to sleep. He finally became Charles’ and Charles became his, it’s all he ever wanted.