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They were on top of a roof, as usual. Spiderman crouching on top of the ledge and watching the bustling city below and Wade was sitting slightly to his left, feet dangling off of the edge towards the 74-story drop without the least bit of self preservation.
The silence stretched for a minute before Deadpool turned to Peter. “I'm bored. What do people usually do when they're bored?” He asked, a not-quite-whine in his voice.
“Get a hobby?” Peter supplied helpfully, scanning the streets for any signs of miscreants.
“A hobby?” Wade said, almost gleefully. “I can do that!” He stroked his mask-clad chin thoughtfully in a typical evil-villain-style before continuing. “How about stamps? I hear they're relaxing?”
“That also requires patience, a trait you sorely lack, especially if this conversation is anything to go by.” Peter said, not looking away from the ant-like people below.
Chuckling, Wade started rocking back and forth on the ledge, his legs swinging freely in the cooling night air. “Ye of little faith. I am like, the epitome of patience... as long as it doesn't bore me, or I see something shiny... Hey, how about crocheting? Or knitting? What's the name of those knitting... things?”
“Needles.”
“Right. Those things could totally double as pointy-stabby-sticks! I love pointy-stabby-sticks!”
Peter grimaced underneath his mask and shook his head. “Is everything about stabbing with you?”
“What? Of course not, you wound me, young grasshopper. I also like shooting things.”
“Whatever.” Peter groans.
“Hey, you know where they like knitting and shit? Japan. I was there a couple of months ago and I saw this awesome Deadpool and Spiderman amigurumi!”
“That's nice.” He said, frowning. What the heck was amy-grooming? Or was it ami-guru? Whatever.
“I know.” Wade said, not noticing, or caring about Peter's confusion and continued. “And the chicks are totally cute. I was hanging out with thic chick from some band called Visual or something, and I kid you not, she was like one of the cutest chick's I've ever seen. Or at least I thought she was, until she said she was a dude. A man of a more delicate constitution would have fainted. Dude was still hot, though. Anyway, we bonded over dresses and I got the name of an awesome store. I bought you a dress.”
Turning his head to face Wade, Peter could have sworn he heard something snap, but he didn't care right now, he only stared wide eyed at the grinning fool next to him. “What? You bought me a dress?” He squeaked.
“Yeah. It's seriously adorable. And I would have gotten one for myself, but hello... Asian sizes ridiculously tiny and not at all suited for a fully grown man.”
“If you even come within a hundred feet of me while carrying a dress, I'll kick your ass so bad you'll need a week to regenerate!” Peter growled, glaring at Wade.
“Oh, come on, Spidey! You could use a little lace with your costume!” Wade called out as Peter hurriedly webbed away.
“Well then, Spiderman, challenge accepted!” Wade grinned to himself as he prepared for the chase.
Boredom 0 – Deadpool 1