Chapter Text
He holds the door for her – to the Uber, in the middle of a foot chase, when their lives are at risk
(the man that he is)
She tries to do as he asks
(“Just forget about me.”)
But he never forgets her – in the middle of an argument,
(“Have you eaten since breakfast?”)
in the middle of an international crisis,
(“You didn’t sleep at all last night?”)
She’s always first on his list
(which is half their issue, isn’t it – safety of the free world comes second to Rose Larkin)
But it’s not their weakness – this connection, this need,
She comes to realize in the weeks after she last sees him.
Peter called it a vulnerability,
(“People are going to try to use you to get to me.”)
but it has always been their strength
(“He is better with you by his side.”)
Call it coping, call it codependence,
(“I’ve felt safer in the past twelve hours than I have in the last nine months.”)
they take turns problem solving, trade off being the moral compass,
(“What, the queen of shoplifting is judging me?”
“Not judging, admiring.”)
Catherine might call it teamwork.
How many times do two people need to save the country before they realize they are better together?
(“No, we stay together.”)
She only knew him briefly but she’s confident if Cisco were here he’d have something to say about this turn of events
(“You need to heal, Rose, but can you say you have if you just ignore the entire chapter of Peter?”
“Don’t psychoanalyze me, Cisco.”
“I’m just trying to be a good fairy godmother.”)
There is a tiny troll doll that stares back at her from her desk in her new office as CTO. Its tiny beady eyes are loud in their judgment.
(“Walk out the front door, forget you ever existed.”)
But she’s lied to him before
(“I understand.”
“That’s not good enough. I need you to promise me or I’ll call this off.”
“I promise.”)
They can’t have faith in much but always in each other
(“Thank you, for coming back.”
“I never left.”)
She really does try to do as he asks
(“And Peter?”
“I don’t know.”)
She goes to therapy and Adverse grows and thrives but the nightmares come and go
(and she carries the last thread of connection she has left of Peter in Noor, each time they meet)
And with every visit she gets to pretend for a moment like she hasn’t really lost him
(and this is both comfort and agony)
Sometimes when they talk, she lets herself believe that he is just around the corner picking up takeout, that he is almost home
(“But this is still just a fantasy, right?”)
That she never let him get on that plane
(“I thought if we could keep walking, I could make the day last longer.”)
She tries to do as he asks
(“Promise me. You’re not going to wait for me to call.“)
She reminds herself she’s tired of running, that she wants a normal life, that she doesn’t want to live looking over her shoulder
(but looking over her shoulder hoping to see Peter isn’t any more sustainable)
She tries to do as he asks
(“If you hear I’m in trouble, you’re not going to come looking for me.“)
And then Adverse gets contracted for a government application
(and it gets harder to pretend)
And it gets harder to stop herself from uploading his photo one more time
(just to check – just to make sure he’s alright – just to show herself he’s safe)
She resists. She promised.
She really does try to do as he asks
(“Just forget about me.“)
And then the phone rings.