Chapter Text
How in the world?!
Today, I woke up, and it felt like the universe had flipped upside down.
I rolled out of bed, groggily rubbing my eyes, and froze when I noticed something unusual. My hair... it was longer. Way longer. At least 16 inches longer.
"How is that possible?!" I exclaimed, running my hands through the silvery strands. Not that I'm complaining; it's even more fabulous now. But seriously—what the hell?
I stumbled into the bathroom, still half-asleep, and caught my reflection in the mirror. That's when things got weirder. My shoulders looked... narrower? My neck was leaner, and my jawline was softer, less pronounced.
Then I looked down.
Oh. Oh no.
I grabbed my chest.
"Boobies?!" I gasped, my voice an octave higher than usual.
Oh no—wait. My voice?!
Heart pounding, I locked the bathroom door and hesitantly loosened my pants. I peeked down.
Yep. Just as I feared.
Somehow, I had woken up as the absolute sexiest, hottest woman to ever exist! Nice legs, nice face, nice hips, nice tits; what could you want more?!
But... what the hell?
"West!" I shouted, my new voice still catching me off guard. "Come check this out!"
I heard Germany's heavy footsteps in the hallway before he stopped outside the door.
"Prussia, are you inhaling helium again?—" He trailed off as I unlocked the door.
His blue eyes widened in shock.
"Prussia," he said slowly, visibly flustered, "I didn't know you were into cross-dressing. Not that I care—you do you—but why would you want me to see this?"
"That's the thing! I'm not cross-dressing!" I threw up my hands, my frustration mounting. "Is it possible for nations to just... change sexes overnight? Not that I'm complaining—have you seen how hot I am? I mean, look at me! No one in my shoes should complain."
Germany pinched the bridge of his nose.
"That's... not something I've ever heard of," he said, ignoring my self-praise. "Maybe we should consult a health specialist?"
I stared at him, wondering if he thought I was crazy or if he was. Honestly, it was probably both.
Then it hit me. It's a perfect opportunity to make a mischievous prank!
"Hehehe," I chuckled. "I've got the best idea ever!"
Germany groaned. "Don't. It's probably stupid."
But who cares what he thinks? I headed straight for Hungary and Austria's house, my plan already forming.
When I knocked on the door, Hungary's voice rang out from the other side.
"I swear to God, Prussia, if this is another prank, you'll be a dead man!"
Oh... right. Last week, I may or may not have egged Austria's car during their date. Let's just say his windshield got a protein-packed omelette, and I nearly died by frying pan.
Good thing I had this "disguise." She probably wouldn't recognize me and my new thought of prank just might work.
I plan on causing just a little chaos between them, just to spice things up in their marriage! Just like a bad bitch like me would do! 💅
Hungary swung the door open, her expression shifting from anger to confusion, then to amusement.
"Ohhh..." she said, leaning against the doorframe with a smirk. "Sooo sorry for the confusion. Who might you be?"
Crap. I didn't think of a name. Uh... first thing that comes to mind.
"Pauli," I blurted.
She raised an eyebrow. "Pauli? Really? Wow, what a hot name. So, what do you want Pauli?"
This was it. I can finally get my prank plan into work and get my revenge on Austria for ruining my dreams of ever breaking records in classical music! Well... that's a story for another time.
Anyways, for now, it's my time to shine!
"Oh, uh..." I feigned hesitation, biting my lip and putting on my best damsel-in-distress face.
"Is Mr. Austria here? He said he'd meet me for a date at two, but it's already past three... Did he forget about me?" I sniffled, letting fake tears well up.
Move over, Marilyn Monroe. Prussia's here to claim the crown.
Hungary's face darkened. "Really?! He's cheating on me?! I knew he was way too pretty for me!" She crumpled to the ground, crying dramatically.
Well, this was not what I was expecting... I thought she would have called him, get into a little argument and then realize I was so full of shit (like usual); what's the matter with this outcome? That's not what I planned!
Did I take it too far? I crouched down and placed a hand on her shoulder.
"Hey, uh, I was kidding," I said quickly. "I didn't mean to upset you—"
Before I could finish, her fist collided with my face, and I was sent flying out onto the pavement.
"Ha! Don't underestimate my acting skills!" she yelled, standing over me triumphantly. "You thought I wouldn't recognize you, Prussia? You can cross-dress all you want, but I'd recognize that stupid face of yours anywhere!"
I groaned, rubbing my cheek. Well, damn. Caught right from the start.
Hungary folded her arms and smirked down at me.
"And that punch? That was for ruining my last date."
I glanced at Austria's car in the driveway, still dotted with egg residue.
"Fair," I muttered. "I probably deserve that. I mean, I can still see omelette pieces on his windshield."
"At least you admit it." Hungary rolled her eyes, turning to head back inside.
"Oh, and one last thing..." She glanced over her shoulder with a teasing grin. "You look pretty good as a girl. Maybe you'd actually get more women like this."
Then she slammed the door in my face.
"Bitch," I muttered, glaring at the closed door.