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“Slytherin”.
The voice of the sorting hat was on repeat in his mind. Barty Crouch Junior in Slytherin, that was not what was planned for him and he knew that. He shouldn’t be here, seated at the Slytherin’s table, he should have been sorted in Ravenclaw, just like his father and just like his grandfather. Then he would get all of his OWLS, graduate and work at the Ministry, everything just like his father planned for him. Panic started to rise inside him as he looked over his childhood friend, Regulus Black sorted with him in Slytherin. Barty knew that Regulus wasn’t a very talkative person as their friendship is the result of their families being rich and influent allies in the wizarding society, even though he hoped for support from him but the black haired boy was too focused on gazing at another table in the great hall. Barty wanted to scream his lungs out, to get up and punch this stupid hat which was continuing its sorting. He needed to think straight, to focus and think about what he would say to the headmaster so he could change his house. But the poor focus he had completely disappeared as the sorting hat screamed “ravenclaw”. Right away, Barty’s eyes went on a blonde haired girl. She had long blonde hair and had a way of walking as if she was floating, Barty wanted to shake her and take her place. Someone at his table noticed his gaze on that girl.
“That’s my sister you’re looking at”.
Barty looked at the kid seated in front of him, he had the same blonde hair as that girl and his face had so many freckles on his dark skin, but his voice wanted to show sharpness towards Barty. So he simply rolled his eyes at him and looked back at the Ravenclaw’s table where he should be. Even when the sorting finally ended, Barty’s eyes were on Ravenclaw's table, analysing every student seated there. All of them were as smart as him, were as creative as him but he was certainly more ambitious than them. The difference was that all of them were wiser than him, because Barty had no time to think wisely as he was too impulsive. This same impulsiveness was what made him stand and walk towards the professors, ready to claim the future that was written for him.
The morning after, Barty sat for breakfast. He wasn’t thrilled because he knew that owls were about to arrive. As he tried to eat something, the same blonde boy sat in front of him and was gazing at him but Barty decided to ignore him before he would get even more grumpy. Finally, multiple owls arrived and flew towards the four tables, kids received letters and gifts like Regulus who just got congratulations from his family for his sorting and even received boxes full of candies. That was not the case for Barty. He only had a single letter.
“ Bartemius Crouch Jr,
I was looking forward to your sorting, waiting for you to be part of the Ravenclaw house, to be someone. But instead, you got sorted in another house, turning all the education I gave you to ashes. Not only that, but the head of your house, Professor Slughorn informed me yesterday’s night about your awful behaviour towards him. I am as disappointed as you concerning your sorting, but I am even more disappointed in you making a fool of yourself. Save yourself and do better.
Bartemius Crouch Sr. ”
“Disappointed”, Barty read the letter over and over again but it was only this simple word repeating in his head. He just wanted to make things better for him yesterday, to discuss his situation and to be resorting into the right house. The problem was that patience was not something Barty had and he may have been disrespectful, though that was not something he was going to admit. Barty’s eyes rest on the cursive letters his father had written for him before some candies were put on the letter.
“I am sure your mother wanted to send you something more”.
Barty looked back at Regulus who was looking at him with his black eyes. A small smile was on Barty’s lips at the gesture of his friend. Everyone could say whatever they wanted about Regulus, and how cold he was for an eleven year old boy, Barty knew that they just didn’t get Regulus.
“Thanks mate”.
Regulus simply nodded at him. While the blonde boy who was seated with them passed to Regulus and Barty glasses full of pumpkin juice.
“Cheers”.
Barty looked at him with surprise in his eyes as Regulus and the boy drank from their glasses. How did that boy just get acknowledged by his friend? Usually, Regulus would just ignore people. At his incomprehension, the blonde boy slyly smiled at him.
“I’m Rosier, Evan Rosier”.
“Disappointed”, that was maybe Bartemius Crouch Sr’s favourite word as he always wrote letters with that special word, over and over again, every day, every month, might even say every year as Barty was sure to read that word for his next four years in Hogwarts. The worst part was that Barty wasn’t a bad student, he was brilliant. He was good at transfiguration and herbology, sometimes messed up a bit in astrology but Regulus always helped him to have acceptable grades and he really enjoyed to revise history of Magic with the Rosier’s twins, but most importantly, the young kid was excelling at potion and defense against the dark arts. During his two first years in Hogwarts, Barty tried and tried to work as much as possible, to prove that he is worth his father’s plan for him but it was just never enough. Barty didn’t grow up just ambitious but also bitter as every time he heard about his father, he felt frustration and anger bubbling up his stomach. He just worked harder, trained harder for quidditch, revised harder.
At least, Hogwarts was not just a place where Barty kept messing things up. No, he had friends. Not plenty, but he had them. Regulus was still alongside him, he always had since their childhood. There was also that girl from his quidditch team, Dorcas Meadowes, she gave him the chills as she seemed roughless at moments but she was the most incredible girl he knew. And there were the twins : Pandora and Evan. Barty’s relationship with them was odd during their first year, he couldn’t help but be envious of Pandora, she was in Ravenclaw, the same house in which he could have made his father proud. He really liked the girl, she was weird and always in her own world but she was real and he found himself being fond of her. And her brother… Evan was the kind of silent kid, not saying much but mocking everything, not looking but observant. Barty didn’t like his guts at first but there was something intriguing from the blonde kid. He was comprehensive, calm and even knew how to soothe Barty with a simple sentence while still understanding Barty’s point of view. Very infuriating, indeed.
Here they all were in late winter 1975, seated at a table at The Three Broomsticks. As usual they were talking about quidditch, about their homework, about how pissing it was for them to have some Gryffindors pranking their house but this time, the only thing that could be heard in the pub was Barty’s raging voice.
“Damn it! Can’t he see it for once? I goddamn do all my best for this old man and he can’t even bear to just look at me, this arse!”
“Language.”
Barty’s eyes rapidly drifted to Regulus who looked at him, unfazed. If his eyes could curse, Regulus would probably be turned into a fish outside a bowl suffocating without water. Instead, Barty got up, put his hands on the table and lowered himself in front of Regulus.
“I fucking hate him to his fucking core.”.
His friend looked at him and simply smiled at Barty’s raw words. The thirteen year old kids just looked at themselves for a moment and then all chuckled. Supporting Barty through his relationship with his father and he laughed alongside them.
That was when Evan’s eyes met Barty’s. The young boys simply looked at each other and sheepishly smiled. They didn’t need to talk, Barty knew that. At that moment, it was better to keep it quiet and to just study the blonde’s face. With his many freckles, with how his smile could be alluring and intriguing at the same time. He didn’t know what it was to have a friend like Evan, but he knew for sure that he would want Evan by his side no matter what.
That was when Rosmerta arrived with their butterbeers, she warmly smiled at them before serving a group of hufflepuff students on another table.
“Cheers”.
Evan’s voice remained calm, still smiling at Barty and holding his gaze towards him before sipping his drink.
That was when Barty started to just not care. He was failing some classes? Okay. He was not working enough? Okay. His father got more and more rough on him? Fuck him. Barty for once, started to live his life for himself and not for his father. The only son of the Crouch family really changed during his sixth year in Hogwarts, his grades were as unstable as his mind. It was heartbreaking for his mother to see her own son who just kept messing around just in aim to piss off his father, and it worked. Bartemius Crouch Sr was pissed with him, ignoring him when Barty came back during breaks, as if it was impossible for them to be related.
Barty felt free though, he kept messing around and even messing his own life. Secretly smoking illicit products in the forbidden forest with his most close friend : Evan.
Evan… He got Barty like no one does, not even Regulus could understand. They were always together causing troubles to anyone who would be enough of a fool to cross them. The boys had a strong bond. And their tension. Barty loved it between them, it was enticing and full of something he couldn’t describe. He knew that he wanted to shake Evan up, to dance with him, to drink, to party, to just live his whole goddamn life alongside him.
Evan knew better though, something was up. Pandora was weirder and more anxious than usual, talking nonsense all the time. Dorcas got merciless and distrustful. And Regulus was no longer around, nobody knew why. And as they all became adults, the time changed. The atmosphere upon the wizarding world was heavy and tense. Everyone was scared about one being : the One Who Must Not Be Named.
Barty didn’t care though, it didn’t stop him destroying his own life, it even gave him a sweet sensation of adrenaline in which he was fond of. That was the only time in which Evan didn’t agree with him. The blonde no longer smiled with him, nor drank and partied. Evan Rosier became a shadow in everyone’s lives even in his sister’s. Of course, Barty cursed him for that. He liked him to his core, Evan was the only one who could put Barty’s shit together. They were linked like soulmates. Their souls reunited in a way no one else could, and yet, Evan just left like that? Fuck him too then. Except that this time, Barty didn’t just “not care”, he was raging. His anger, frustration and goddamn feelings towards the blonde were ready to explode.
He didn’t even knock on Evan’s front door, he just barged inside throwing a deadly gaze towards the blonde who was contemplating his wrist while laying on his couch. Evan rapidly put up his sleeve. He looked at Barty, frowning. Barty didn’t let him talk as he got closer.
“You fucking dipshit!”
Barty spat as he put his hands on Evan’s collar. The blonde looked at him unphased, almost used to Barty’s loss of temper. He simply put his hands on Barty’s arms, his sleeves falling a bit, showing a dark mark on his wrist. It didn’t go unnoticed by Barty.
“For Merlin’s sake, Rosier, what the fuck is wrong with you?!”
“Fuck off, Crouch.”
Barty let him go, looking at him.
“Why?”
“Why not?”
“Don’t tell me you’re racist”
Evan couldn’t help but laugh at this, making Barty smile almost in a tender way. He missed it.
“I’m not. That’s a horrible thought.”
The blonde sighed and sat on his couch again, sliding his hand in his blonde hair. Barty didn’t join him at first, he knew that he needed space. So he just went to the kitchen, grabbing some wizard’s brew beers. It wasn’t strong enough but at least, Evan got plenty in his fridge so it was going to be enough for them. As he came back, he handed the beer to Evan who just silently took it.
“I don’t know how it is going to end, Barty. But I know that… I don’t want anything to happen to Pandora. I just want to make sure that no matter what happens, she’ll be safe and sound in both sides”
That was when Barty sat next to Evan. He wasn’t used to comforting his friend, because Evan was the kind of person who swallowed their emotions and to just move on. It felt natural though, to take his friends in his arms, to snuggle his face into his blonde’s hair, to pass his hand on his neck. Time passed and they drank, no words were needed between them. They felt alcohol rushing in their veins. It was sweet and sincere and once again, Barty realised how much Evan mattered. He didn’t want to let him go. It was very honorable of him to join the dark forces in aim to protect his sister but who was going to protect him? Barty would. He would go all over the world for that man, he would endure multiple tortures for him. He loved him like no else did in this dark world.
As his hands felt the warmth of the skin beneath them, they arrived on his cheeks. His eyes pierced into the other’s.
“I would fucking kill for you”
“I know.”
“And fucking die too.”
“I know that too.”
“Good.”
“ ... Cheers”
Evan sipped his brew while looking at Barty, before the two of them kissed for the first time. Barty held him, promising himself that it wouldn’t be the last.
They were close. The relationship between them connected them in a way no one could understand. Rosier and Crouch were dancing together with their lives on the line. He joined him in the dark, much to Evan’s disagreement but the blonde didn’t have the choice and saw Barty taking the mark because of him. He knew that he just didn’t care about any beliefs or any moral principles, he just cared for Evan. That was all. That was enough. But when you played with the dark arts, the dark arts also played with you. It was consuming Barty, like drugs used to do for him, but it felt stronger, harder and better. He couldn’t stop as he loved it so much, to feel the power running through his veins and, oh, that sweet adrenaline he was so fond of.
As the time passed, Evan followed him into madness, sharing his tastes into darkness. They were destroying their own lives just as they were destroying people’s lives. Criminals, that was what death eaters were, then criminals they would be. They took every mission they could; messing up with aurors, robbing, torturing and they went as far as killing.
It was really dark that night, Barty insisted for them to reunite before their mission to celebrate Halloween. They made out, drank a lot as many bottles of fire whiskey layed on the floor. Barty could drown himself in this kind of life, he was addicted to it. As he felt the warm liquid running down his throat he couldn’t help but play with his wand, the magic tickling his fingertips. Evan looked at him with a smile, his heart was melting. Tonight was going to be hard for them, and the blonde knew that. Even if he accompanied the brown’s madness, Evan's toes were still on the ground. He thought about his sister who recently became a mother last february. That was all for her at first, to make sure that if one day the death eaters would get her, nothing would happen to her. But he let the darkness drag him, just like he let Barty. There wasn't going to be a bright future for him, he was aware. The night was going to be decisive, he could live as a death eater forever in an era of terror or he could end up in Azkaban… Or worse. So, Evan simply looked at Barty. The taste of love, anger, and tenderness and disgust lingered in his mouth. He loved him so much, if only they weren’t stuck here.
Barty was laughing as he played with his wand.
“I’ll go to Longbottom's tonight with the Lestranges. Those cheesy bastards have info and I’ll make sure to tear it out of their mouths”
Barty pointed at a spider with his wand, cursing it and making it suffer with the Cruciatus Curse. The madman laughed as he continued to drink before turning to Evan.
“What about you, darling?”
“... I’ll just wander around if aurors show up.”
“Thrilling. I’d love a good run. Makes me feel alive.”
Evan simply nods, he wasn’t thrilled. He was scared and he felt stuck in a situation he could never escape. So, he just raised his glass full of fire whiskey.
“To the Dark Lord.”
“To the Dark Lord!”
“Cheers.”
They bottomed up their glasses. The alcohol was burning, the adrenaline rushing and the glasses breaking on the ground as Barty exploded them. They got up, kissed and went on their way to their mission, leaving their flat.
Evan was right. That night was horrible. It caused too much damage, it wasn’t funny anymore for Barty as he lost the game. He didn’t want to continue to live. But he did, it was difficult but he did. His ego and his thirst for strong sensations got humbled as he lost him. He felt nothing, nothing but hatred. Hatred towards his father, hatred towards the Ministry, hatred towards the aurors and mostly, hatred towards himself.
Barty was known to be theatral, so he looked at his father one last time, asking him if he was proud of his son before some aurors grabbed him at Karkaroff’s trial. And then, he let them. Azkaban was horrible and he wouldn’t survive here, if it wasn’t for his mother's love. That love shit was strong, he knew that, but it couldn’t give him back all the things he lost during the war. And he had to live hidden with the very single man he hated the most : his father.
Bartemius Crouch Junior was dead. Inside at least.
Time passed again, locked inside his childhood house. He would have preferred to die that night. He hated to know that there were death eaters outside Azkaban. But something was up and unlike fourteen years before, this time Barty knew it. The One Who Must Not Be Named was back. Maybe this time was going to be different. Barty could help the Dark Lord and could get rewarded. Maybe the Dark Lord had astonishing powers that could bring him back… It became an obsession. He fled and hid to find his Lord, the only one who could help him.
It was the 31st August late at night, Barty looked at himself in the mirror. His brown hair was starting to whiten due to stress. His face was thin as he hadn't peacefully slept in ages and he hadn’t used drugs since a very, very, very long time. He deeply sighed as anger showed on his face. Back in Hogwarts, he was a good student in potions. So, he looked at the little bottle in his hands. Barty knew that he would take his traits. That he'll have to live in the skin of the one who killed the only one he truly loved.
Madness and love took control as he laughed out loud. Barty Crouch Jr used to live for his father, then for himself but this time, he was going to live for Evan Rosier. He raised his bottle of polyjuice potion at his reflection.
“Cheers.”