Archive of Our Own

"I'm so sorry," Tachihara moans, his syllables all blunted at the edges. The words are followed up with a terrible, full-body kind of dry heaving that leaves him doubled over, one hand on his knees for stability. "You're such… you're such a good friend. Do you know that? You're such a good friend."

"Please keep walking," Higuchi replies. She tries to keep her tone businesslike and official – anything to keep them moving, at this point – but she knows it comes across more as a desperate, plaintive pleading. People don't pitch their voices an octave up when they're trying to be authoritative, but they do when they're trying to make sure their friend doesn't throw up on their shoes. Again. Her heels will never be the same.

"My feet're… bad," Tachihara says, but he shuffles obediently forward. His every step is done in slow motion, each one a beleaguered movement, but he continues moving again. "They're sooo bad, but you're so nice… you smell really nice, too…"

"That's the soap from the bar," Higuchi says. She'd like to think she says it patiently, but she knows that patience is already on a one-way overseas flight, never to return. "I washed my shirt in the sink."

"Oh," Tachihara says. He pauses, because thinking and walking are currently two actions that cannot be undertaken at the same time, and peers at her face. "Sorry. That was my fault. I can buy you a new shirt."

"Please," Higuchi says, and her voice cracks a little in sheer desperation as she hauls Tachihara's arm a little more firmly around her shoulders to keep him steady, "please just keep walking."

Tachihara does. He continues his slow, inebriated shuffle along the wooden walkway, and finally stops in front of the door. He needs his arm back so he can look for his keys, both hands involved in patting himself down, and Higuchi quietly prays to every deity she can name that he didn't manage to leave them somewhere. He produces them, in the end, looking triumphant.

He misses the lock three times before Higuchi simply can't take it anymore.

"I'll do it," Higuchi says. Tachihara offers her the keys, and she reaches towards the lock, opening the door. Opening the door … before she can even put the key in. Higuchi blinks at the door, and then the gap where the door had once been, where a body is now standing. Higuchi straightens, slowly, making eye contact with the girl in front of her.

"Um," Higuchi starts.

"Did you need something?" the girl asks, her voice soft and polite, like she's straight out of a historical novel.

"Why're you in my place?" Tachihara asks. He snags the keys back from Higuchi and waves them, as if to demonstrate his feelings on the matter. It just serves to make him more unsteady, and he takes three heavy, abrupt steps backwards, his back slamming into the rail at the edge of the walkway.

Then he vomits on the ground.

"I see," the girl at the door says, very mildly. "Please wait just one moment."

"Wait–" Higuchi says, but it's too late: the girl is gone. She's left the door closed, but only partially; Higuchi watches the gap displaying the beige wall of the genkan as the lights within the apartment click on, spilling out into the dark walkway.

She doesn't hear anything for a long moment, and then she hears a deep rumble that she can manage to catch is a masculine voice. She doesn't manage to catch anything else before the sound of footsteps draws up to the door and opens it again.

"Akutagawa-senpai?!"

"Ohh," Tachihara manages, from where he's sitting on the wooden ground like it will somehow alleviate the nausea. "I'm at the wrong apartment."

"Are you sick?" Akutagawa asks, his voice a little sharper than it needs to be when the rest of his image is so softened. (With whatever portion of her mind isn't busy freaking the fuck out over the current scenario, Higuchi tries to catalogue every crease in Akutagawa's pyjamas, cute little demon faces and all.)

"He's, um," Higuchi says, cringing a little when Akutagawa's gaze looks at her. Her shirt is still damp from where she'd had to wash it, and her makeup must look absolutely abysmal at this point–

"Don't tell my bro," Tachihara manages. "He's gonna be so mad at me."

Akutagawa's eyes narrow. They go from Higuchi, to Tachihara, and then back again, before Akutagawa finally sighs.

"Come inside," Akutagawa says, and it's as much a command as anything Higuchi has ever heard.

"Um," Higuchi says, but Tachihara is already on his feet, lurching after Akutagawa unsteadily. Higuchi stands there for a moment longer, baffled at this entire turn of events – she didn't know Akutagawa lived in this complex! Who is this girl! Why is any of this happening when Higuchi looks like she's been out at a club for six hours caretaking her friend? – before she turns to face the girl who'd opened the door initially, who is giving the vomit on the walkway a disdainful expression.

The girl makes eye contact, and Higuchi jolts.

"Um, if you don't mind my using your supplies," Higuchi blurts, before she can stop herself, "I'll clean this up–"

"You can come inside, too," the girl says, her voice as proper as before. She leaves the hallway again, and Higuchi hesitates for an additional second before she walks in, carefully unlatching her heels to leave them in the tidy genkan. There's several other pairs of shoes there – some of them, Higuchi recognizes as belonging to Akutagawa, but the rest… Several of them look distinctly feminine, and Higuchi quietly prevents herself from catastrophizing about the situation by focusing on the more immediate need: cleaning up after Tachihara.

She follows the girl into the kitchen, where the girl is dutifully pulling out some cleaning chemicals and filling a bucket with water.

"I'll help you," the girl offers, quietly.

"Oh, you don't have to," Higuchi blurts, even though the last thing she wants to do is clean up Tachihara's vomit for a third time. "He's my friend, so…"

"He's my brother's friend, too," the girl replies, "and I know most people are very upset by bodily fluids, so…"

Higuchi is, for a moment, rendered completely speechless. The ease with which the girl says her sentence means that it's nothing unusual at all to her, but – she's Akutagawa's sister? She's completely unphased by cleaning up a stranger's vomit?

Is she an angel? (Given the long-sleeved Victorian-style white nightgown she's dressed in that gives her more than a little resemblance to a ghost, Higuchi wouldn't be entirely surprised.)

"I'll at least help," Higuchi says, a little awkwardly, and the girl offers her a very small, shy smile.

Higuchi thinks: Oh no. She's cute.

"Thank you," the girl says, and offers her a small, neatly folded stack of cleaning rags. The rags are a myriad of colors and textures – they appear to be homemade, each from a bigger piece of fabric that must have been something that served its use. They're all hemmed at the edges to keep them from fraying, and they look surprisingly well-kept for something used for cleaning.

The girl finishes filling the bucket and then lifts it, casually, despite the fact that it must be heavy with all of that water inside of it. She doesn't strain at all, although Higuchi can see her muscles flex even under the heavy fabric of her nightgown. Higuchi feels her mouth go suspiciously dry and internally blames the tequila.

"I'm Higuchi," Higuchi blurts, before she can stop herself. "Higuchi Natsuko– but everyone calls me Ichiyou– well, that's not true, everyone just calls me Higuchi, but if someone knew me really well I'd want them to call me Ichiyou and not Natsuko, so–"

Higuchi realizes, abruptly, that she is babbling, and snaps her jaw shut. She must be turning red, and she clutches the cleaning rags to her chest, mentally cursing the name of everyone (Tachihara) that convinced her to go to the bar and do shots of tequila (Tachihara again).

"Gin," the girl – Gin – says. Her lips curve in a small and her chest quakes like she's stifling the urge to laugh, and yeah, Higuchi is definitely turning red, so she escapes outside and veritably flings herself at the vomit before she can do anything more embarrassing.

Gin follows her, setting the bucket down. She reaches out towards Higuchi, hand pausing just in front of Higuchi's chest, and it takes Higuchi agonizingly long to realize that she wants the rags. Higuchi jerks them forward, and Gin takes one off the top, dipping it into the water and then using it to wipe up the vomit. It's mostly bile; it smells worse than it is, really, so Higuchi follows the action, setting the rest of the rags safely out of range.

"Most people know my brother," Gin says, quietly, "so everyone just calls me Gin."

"Gin-chan," Higuchi says, and wonders if she can blush any harder than she already is. "Um – unless you'd prefer Gin-san–"

Gin tilts her head, black hair spilling over her shoulder. With her clean hand, she reaches up to tuck the hair back behind her, making sure it can't accidentally come in contact with Tachihara's mess. A faint pink flush spreads over her nose, looking like the delicately painted blush on a porcelain doll rather than any sign of embarrassment.

"It's fine," Gin says. "You're friends with my brother, aren't you? Ah… Ichiyou-chan."

Higuchi's brain short circuits with a series of words that don't really connect to each other except as the most abstract series of word associations – Tachihara tequila Girl Akutagawa Girl nightgown vomit Girl tequila tequila tequila Girl – and she wrings the rag out over the bucket with a little too much force, sending droplets of dirty water flying. Gin moves successfully out of the way, leaning to the side so quickly Higuchi sees double, but Higuchi just blinks stupidly as she splashes herself with the water.

"Oh," Gin says. She pauses, thinking something over, while Higuchi sits completely frozen, and then she nods, seemingly coming to a conclusion. She sets the dirty rag down, wiping her hand off with one of the clean ones, and stands. "Here. Why don't you take a shower while I finish this?"

"Oh I couldn't possibly–" Higuchi says, too quickly, words falling out without a pause between them until it sounds like one long word.

"I insist," Gin says, with a firmness that echoes Akutagawa's, and Higuchi immediately caves.

"...okay," Higuchi says, defeated. She places her rag on the edge of the bucket and stands back up, following Gin as Gin leads her inside. The door to Akutagawa's room is open – Tachihara is laying on the floor with his feet braced on Akutagawa's wall, arm flung over his face, while Akutagawa sits, patiently reading a poetry compilation and Tachihara hums a top 40s hit to himself, horrendously off key – but the room that must go to Gin's bedroom is shut.

Gin ushers Higuchi into the bathroom, then disappears into her room – Higuchi gets only the barest glimpse of a carefully organized bookshelf – and then reappears a few moments later with a small stack of clothing and a bag.

"You can put your clothes in here, and wear these home," Gin says.

"Thank you," Higuchi says, a little weakly, unsure of what to do with the way her night is progressing. "I'm never going to drink tequila again."

Gin blinks, then laughs, bringing her hand up to cover her mouth. "I don't think you're the one that needs to worry about that."

Higuchi watches Gin go, a little dumbly, and then stares at the clothes in her arms.

They smell nice.

Higuchi showers herself off as quickly as possible, and stares longingly at the bath, unwilling to be any more of an imposition than she already has been. Her muscles are sore from supporting Tachihara's weight on the way over, though, and she knows she's going to be too tired to take a bath by the time she gets home. She'll just slap some Salonpas patches on and hope for the best, at this rate.

Gin's clothing fits, at least. By the time she exits, Tachihara is visibly sprawled across Akutagawa's feet, wailing quietly into the floor about something while Akutagawa massages his own temples. Higuchi winces, but creeps out, past Gin's closed door and to the entryway, toeing her shoes back on.

"Sleep well," a voice says – Gin's voice – and Higuchi jumps, making an undignified noise that is definitely not the sound of her swallowing down her own startled scream before it can wake anyone up.

"Thanks you too sleep well I'll get these back tomorrow," Higuchi swears, too quickly, practically falling over herself as she backs up. She slams against the door and tries to fumble it open without looking – she fails at this, looking down and getting the door open. She looks back as she makes her escape, and Gin has her hand over her mouth again, looking amused.

Higuchi goes to sleep wondering what kind of laundry detergent Gin uses.

"Akutagawa-senpai!" Higuchi says, the second she spots him coming out of his morning class. He turns his head to her in a minute fraction, ever taciturn; Higuchi, undeterred, beelines for him. "I, um –"

"I have class," Akutagawa says, shortly, even though this is a fact that Higuchi already knows, because she has his entire class schedule committed to memory for completely normal purposes. (She'd missed seeing him go into his morning class, on account of her hangover; her sister had given her coffee that sent her stomach roiling, but helped with the headache. It's the only reason she's made it to the university at all.)

"I was wondering– what, um," Higuchi says, falling into an awkward stride next to Akutagawa, who makes no effort to slow down for her. "--what classes Gin-chan has today?"

This makes Akutagawa draw up short. He turns to her, sparse eyebrows furrowed slightly. "Gin-chan?" he echoes, sounding a little incredulous.

"Yes! I, you see, after last night–" Higuchi does not actually want to talk about last night, so she plows on ahead without stopping– "she loaned me some clothing, and I made sure it was washed so that I could return it to her today, but I don't know her class schedule and I don't have her phone number."

Higuchi carefully omits several facts that Akutagawa certainly doesn't need to know, such as the fact that her sister was the one who laundered Gin's clothing and that the only reason Higuchi was unaware of Gin's schedule was because she'd been too hungover to watch where they went when they left their apartment.

Akutagawa frowns. The expression isn't terribly dissimilar from his usual expression, but Higuchi could teach a class of her own on Akutagawa's expression, so she catches it and falters a little.

"Or, um, you could take them to her," Higuchi offers, a little awkwardly.

"I'll take them," Akutagawa says, a little too quickly, and Higuchi has nothing to do in response but offer over the Daiso bag she's packed the clothes into.

"Thank you," Higuchi says, carefully, and offers him her brightest smile. Akutagawa still looks a bit befuddled, but he nods, sharply, and then resumes walking. Higuchi watches him go to his next class and sighs.

She'd wanted to give the clothes back herself, so she could ask Gin what detergent she used.

Two weeks after Tachihara's disastrous night out, he's cajoling her into going out again.

"No," Higuchi says, softly, from the laundry section of the convenience store next to her apartment. "Not again."

"No, come on, it'll be fun," Tachihara insists. "Chuuya's coming, and if he's coming the rest of his group is coming."

This is, Higuchi thinks, not as much of a ringing endorsement as it could be, given Higuchi watched one of Chuuya's friends attend a party with an actual IV drip connected to himself that he had then put straight vodka into. There's partying, and then there's whatever the hell that is, and Higuchi isn't sure she wants to party hard enough with that crew to learn the difference.

She hums, sniffing another detergent. Still not the right scent.

"If Chuuya's coming, Dazai might come?" Tachihara offers. "So Akutagawa might show up?"

Higuchi considers this. This is several qualifying statements, but – well, it's not like she can say no to that.

"If Akutagawa-senpai shows up," she says, "text me."

"Hell yeah," Tachihara says.

Several hours later, she receives a text: a blurry shot of Akutagawa at a bar, nursing a drink while Chuuya claps him on the back, clearly in the middle of an animated story, trademark hat lopsided on his head.

Higuchi sighs, and then gets dressed.

The club is blasting music, and it takes Higuchi a moment to orient herself with the pulsating sound and lowered lights. She spies Chuuya before anyone else – he's standing on a table yelling at Dazai, while the bartender looks politely exasperated, clearly placated by one of Chuuya's friends slipping him a ten thousand yen bill – and from there she manages to find Akutagawa, who is still sitting by himself. He's watching Dazai, as always; Higuchi takes the seat next to him.

"Just a beer," Higuchi says, when the bartender slides over to her, offering her a smile that doesn't quite come off as convincing, given that he's still watching Chuuya's groups chaos out of the corner of his eye. "What are you drinking, Akutagawa-senpai?"

"I'm taller," Akutagawa says, instead, and Higuchi blinks.

The bartender delivers her beer before she can pry, and then he beckons her closer, voice quiet enough that it won't carry in the loud atmosphere.

"He's a few drinks in," the man says, quietly, and Higuchi is aware of his dual-colored eyes as they focus on her, looking concerned. "I know he knows them, but they're even more drinks in – if you can get him home I'll give you…" The man trails off for a long moment, looking around his bar. "...a lime?"

He holds up a lime that has been delicately cut into a series of flower slices.

"I'll make sure he gets home," Higuchi promises. "No limes necessary."

The bartender grins at her. "Great," he says, before he's pulled away by another customer needing his attention.

Higuchi steels herself. Akutagawa is recalcitrant at the best of times, but when he's drunk and fixating on Dazai, he becomes so stubbornly single-minded that he throws away all other thoughts. Despite this, Higuchi has to try.

"Akutagawa-senpai," she says, again. Akutagawa does not look at her, still scowling vaguely at Chuuya's group. Ignoring her entirely, Akutagawa slams back the rest of the partially opaque, green contents of his glass, and stands up, striding over to Chuuya with long and equally unsteady steps.

"Akutagawa-senpai, wait!" Higuchi says. She shoots the bartender a pleading look – he looks back at her, helplessly, a cocktail shaker in each hand – and then she takes off after Akutagawa before she loses him to the crowd.

"I'm," Akutagawa says, to Chuuya, "taller than you."

"Hell yeah you are," Chuuya responds, with a boisterous laugh, still standing on a table. From his vantage he is, in fact, taller than Akutagawa, but Higuchi does not point this out. "Tall dark and brooding. Wait, hey, Albatross, you think–"

Whatever Chuuya is saying is lost as a new song starts to play, the track drowning out anything that Higuchi might have been able to overhear. Chuuya is as magnetic a personality as ever, and there are too many people crowding around him – crowding around Akutagawa – and Higuchi is edged out before she can force her way further in.

"Hey, wanna da–" someone starts, and Higuchi is wheeling around before she even pays much attention to the man – who is, somehow, not the only weird college-aged student who puts on a lab coat to go to the club – and trying to skirt around the outside of the crowd to try and find a way closer to Akutagawa.

Instead, she runs slam into someone. Or she would have, anyway, but the man she nearly runs in to has faster reactions than she does, shooting his hands out to catch her by the shoulders seconds before impact. Higuchi wobbles slightly in his grasp as she regains her footing and tries to regain her mental footing just as easily.

The man is small – about as tall as Higuchi – and dressed in a very alternative, industrial punk-goth look that Higuchi doesn't see that often. It's at least less weird than the lab coat guys, she thinks. The man is gesturing something at her, lips moving behind a mask, but Higuchi just shakes her head.

"I can't hear you, but I'm sorry, I don't want to dance," Higuchi says, as loudly as she can over the music. The man watches her lips and then seems to pause for a moment, looking moderately exasperated. As exasperated as someone can look when half their face is covered, Higuchi thinks, but it doesn't stop the man from beckoning her closer and then grabbing her wrist to tug her through the crowd.

His hand is small, Higuchi thinks, baffled by the entire situation, and even more confused the man seems to possess a preternatural ability to slip through the crowd. People part just enough for the man and then Higuchi to move through, and Higuchi follows him because it seems like the path of least resistance. They come to the bar again, finally, and the man nods at the bartender – who nods back – and then the man pulls Higuchi through the employees only door.

"Wait–" Higuchi starts, because she isn't anywhere near drunk enough to get away with breaking and entering yet.

The door slips closed behind them; the pounding music falls away into a dull, thudding background track through the walls. Higuchi is suddenly very aware that she's followed a strange goth man into the back room of a club, which isn't her smartest move ever. It's also not her dumbest, though, if she's being entirely honest, but–

"There," the man says, in a soft, effeminate voice. It sounds familiar, even over the faint buzzing in Higuchi's ears. The man reaches up, tugging his mask down, and–

"Gin-chan?!" Higuchi blurts.

"Yes," Gin says, her voice still quiet. No wonder Higuchi hadn't been able to hear her over the music.

"Do you… work here?" Higuchi asks.

Gin nods. "I do crowd control for them, sometimes," Gin says. "It's good if they have someone keeping an eye on everything from on the floor."

"Oh," Higuchi says. That explains a lot of things. She can't help but reach out and touch the edge of Gin's ponytail. She wonders how she got it so spiky when the strands still feel soft to the touch. Gin blinks, but doesn't protest, just fixes Higuchi with a curious look in her grey eyes that makes Higuchi flush, retracting her hand. She's not nearly drunk enough for this.

"Were you trying to get to my brother?" Gin asks.

"Well– I think he's had, um," Higuchi says, awkwardly, because if Gin is present she must know how much Akutagawa's had to drink, but she isn't doing anything about it so it isn't really Higuchi's place, but– "--too much to drink, so I was going to try to take him home, but…"

Gin nods. "Nakajima-kun is worried," she says, and Higuchi tries to figure out who that is until Gin nods at the door and Higuchi understands that she's referring to the bartender. "Last time, he was the one to take my brother home, and they wound up in a fist fight…"

"They what," Higuchi says, trying to imagine Akutagawa's frail, asthmatic body involved in a brawl.

Gin looks a little like she has a headache. Higuchi doesn't blame her.

"They don't really get along," Gin says, but something in her voice sounds deeply dubious, like she's trying to convince herself and Higuchi of the fact when she doesn't fully believe it. "If Chuuya-kun is here, he'll make sure everyone gets home okay."

"Oh," Higuchi says. This processes for a moment. "...so, he doesn't need my help?"

This seems to visibly deflate her, if Gin's reaction is anything to go by: she awkwardly pats Higuchi on the shoulder a few times, like she's doing her best to reassure her.

"I don't think so," Gin says, apologetic, even though she hasn't done anything wrong. "If you'd like, I'm finishing up in half an hour." Then, when Higuchi just stares at her, she hurriedly adds– "Unless you're planning on staying here longer–"

"Oh, no, I just came to make sure that Akutagawa-senpai was doing alright–"

"Then, if you'd like to walk home together–"

"--if you're sure that we can leave him alone," Higuchi says, both of them speaking too-quickly, sentences overlapping each other as they get them out, every syllable falling in a too-earnest rainfall between them, "then I'd– I'd like that! It'd be nice to, um. Walk home with someone who definitely won't throw up on me."

This gets a laugh from Gin, and despite the fact that she feels distinctly different like this – in these clothes that Higuchi didn't even recognize her in – the laugh is the same, with the way she brings her hand up to hide her lips.

Higuchi, still sober, feels her stomach do a strange flip-flop, which is strange when she is, as mentioned, still sober. She decides not to interrogate the sensation further.

"Then I'll find you," Gin says. She moves back to the door, and the music blasts in with an almost physical presence. Before Higuchi can ask where they should meet, Gin is slipping away, dark as a shadow as she slips between people who barely seem to notice that she's there.

Half an hour later, Higuchi has had multiple lime sodas, courtesy of Nakajima-the-bartender, as she now knows him. He seems deeply exasperated by the entire situation and has been sending waters over to the group at the center of the crowd, where Dazai and Chuuya and Akutagawa are all still periodically visible, but he doesn't have the time to spend to do much else.

Gin appears next to Higuchi without so much as a warning, and Higuchi emits a noise that she will not ever admit sounded like a yelp.

Gin's eyebrows raise, and Higuchi's cheeks flush as she feels distinctly embarrassed, but she tries to flag down Nakajima to pay for her endless lime sodas. He simply waves her away, and Gin wraps her hand around Higuchi's wrist again.

Now that Higuchi knows who Gin is, she's baffled that she ever thought Gin could be a man – her hands barely circle around Higuchi's wrist. She might have the aura of someone intimidating, in the outfit she's wearing, but it's still Gin, Higuchi thinks; Gin who helped her clean up after Tachihara and who wears nightgowns fit for Victorian nobility.

They press outside, and the fresh air is cool on Higuchi's face. She inhales, deeply; the club atmosphere is considerably less fun when you aren't partying, and she doesn't want to think about the damage she's done to her ears.

"Are you alright?" Gin asks. She's already walking, and Higuchi falls into step beside her – Gin moves as confidently through the darkened streets as she did through the club, even as she's taking off some of the accoutrements of her outfit. The mask is unhooked from her face; her hair is allowed to fall loose from the ponytail; her gloves and jacket come off, slung loosely over her arm instead. There's a faint sheen of sweat on her skin, reflecting up in all of the bright lights of the city at night, and Higuchi looks away before she gets lost in them.

"I'm fine," Higuchi says. She reaches up, stretching her arms over her head and going up on her tiptoes. Gin stops walking, turning to watch Higuchi with an unreadable expression. "I'm impressed you can work in there, Gin-chan! It's so loud."

Gin smiles as they start walking again, tilting her head and removing the ear plugs that Higuchi hadn't even noticed.

"How can you hear–?"

"I can read lips," Gin says. Her voice is quiet, but in the late evening, there's little to interrupt her: the sounds of the city are fading away as they leave the most active districts.

"Oh," Higuchi says, a little dumbly. "I had no idea. How'd you learn to do that?"

Gin is quiet for a long moment. She gazes up at the moon, and Higuchi feels like she's misstepped, slightly – she knows that Akutagawa has never mentioned parents; she knows that most of their extended friends group is a rag-tag group of plucky orphans who are surviving on audacity and high test scores – but before she can try and blurt out an apology, Gin is speaking again.

"It took me a long time to talk," Gin says, finally, "when I was a child. Most people had very low expectations of me, because of that. So my brother made sure that we were prepared for anything."

"Low expectations?" Higuchi echoes. "Even if you weren't talking, they should have–"

"It's different," Gin says, quietly, but with a degree of force in her tone that makes Higuchi cut off abruptly. "It's different, in Suribachi. There isn't enough to go around, so if you show any weakness, you won't survive." Her voice evens back out– "I know it's different here. I'm a little jealous of everyone that was raised in the city."

Higuchi thinks about the fact that Akutagawa is constantly taking courses in social welfare and childhood education; thinks about the motley crew of people that are always around Chuuya; thinks about the fact that Dazai is on his own family register despite everyone knowing that Mori-san took him in years ago when he was still an Assistant Professor; thinks about the fact that Akutagawa still has a cough that racks his frame, season after season, like he can never quite get better.

"I'm–" Higuchi blurts, whirling to face Gin properly. "I'm glad you– I'm not glad you had to grow up in that, but I'm glad you made it– here– um– I'm sorry, I don't mean that you should be grateful or anything just because it made you stronger or how cool it is that you can read lips, but I–"

Gin looks puzzled for a long moment, as Higuchi trails off, weakly, unsure of how to climb her way out of the Suribach-sized hole she's dug for herself.

"I'm glad that I met you," Higuchi finishes, a little lamely.

Gin's mouth opens, just a bit: she looks surprised, backlit by the neon radiance of a closed green grocer behind her, and Higuchi flushes.

"I'm glad I met you, too," Gin says, finally.

They both turn away a little too quickly: Higuchi has embarrassed herself too much, and Gin seems politely withdrawn. They walk together until they need to separate, and then they both awkwardly bow to the other before Higuchi practically runs home to scream into her pillow when she realizes she still didn't ask Gin for her phone number.

She's so bad at everything!

"Higuchi," Akutagawa says, stiffly, several days later.

Higuchi nearly walks into one of the support pillars in surprise, but she catches herself on it instead and props herself up like that's what she meant to do the entire time. Akutagawa just stares at her, his expression made unreadable by his incredibly sparse eyebrows. He looks mad, but he doesn't sound mad? Maybe he's not mad?

"Akutagawa-senpai," Higuchi says, the absolute picture of coolness and not the picture of someone who almost walked into a concrete pillar.

Akutagawa stares at her, then holds out a piece of paper. It's lavender, both in color and faintly scented, and folded closed. Higuchi would think it was a love note if it was coming from anyone but Akutagawa, but it's so out of place that she just looks at it without reaching for it.

"My sister," Akutagawa says, shortly, "has a favor to ask you, so she requested that I give you this."

"Oh," Higuchi says. "Oh!" She takes the paper, unfolding it to see Gin's phone number. She looks back up to thank Akutagawa, but he's already gone.

Higuchi enters the number into her phone immediately. Should she call–? No, it's the middle of the day; what if she's in class? So, instead, she sends her a quick text:

There's no response for long enough that Higuchi feels awkward about loitering around the support pillar, so she starts to head back. When her phone finally buzzes, she nearly flings it on the ground in surprise, but catches it, looking at the text.

Higuchi does not have the faintest clue what to say to that except a near-instantaneous yes.

Coffee is that evening, on a time that Gin picked. Higuchi has nothing planned, so she spends an hour agonizing over her wardrobe choices before her sister kicks her out of the apartment, and she winds up ten minutes early.

Gin is already there, looking like she's stepped out of a painting. Portrait of a Beautiful Noblewoman, or something like that: she brightens slightly when she sees Higuchi, taking a few quick steps over.

"They have very good imported tea and coffee here," Gin offers, quietly, as they enter and are seated at a table. The interior is almost anachronistic: everything feels like it could be from a hundred years ago, but built so sturdy that it hasn't deteriorated at all.

"Do you have recommendations? I usually just drink, um," Higuchi says, embarrassed to confess that she drinks instant coffee or whatever special is on the menu of the local coffee shops when she ventures into them. "...I'm not very picky."

"Yes," Gin says, and then orders for them both.

"You had something you wanted to ask me? Unless it was just to get coffee," Higuchi says, and then realizes her error and tries to cover for it. Gin shakes her head.

"No, although I suppose asking you to coffee was a question," she says. "I– my landlord needs to renovate our pipes, and I was wondering if… I could stay with you for a few days?"

Higuchi is speechless. Gin seems to take this as a negative, and she holds her hands up, quickly.

"I know it's an imposition – I shouldn't have asked–"

"No, it's alright–" Higuchi says. "But Akutagawa-senpai–?"

"He's staying with someone else," Gin says, "but they don't have enough room for me. Chuuya-kun offered, but I don't think I would be able to get any sleep – he lives with all of his friends in a shared house…"

"You can stay with me," Higuchi says, before there can be any further confusion on the subject.

For a moment, it seems like Gin hasn't heard her. Higuchi can practically see it process, and Higuchi wonders – how often has Gin had people willing to do nice things for her? How rare of an occurrence is it, that Gin has come to Higuchi, who she only met a little while ago? Sure, Higuchi absolutely is going to let her stay, but–

"Thank you," Gin says, earnestly. "Please let me pay for your coffee today."

"Oh, it's– totally fine– um, I don't have a spare room, but I have an extra futon–"

"That's alright," Gin says, equally earnest. "I don't need much room."

Higuchi would give up her entire room to Gin if she thought for a second Gin would take it. Quietly, she resolves to do more things for Gin; she doesn't think anyone does enough for her, and if it has to be Higuchi, then that's a responsibility she can take on!

Higuchi cleans her room three times to make sure it's clean enough to pass muster. She quietly curses herself for having such childish tastes, and tries to stuff her Gudetama collection entirely in the closet, but she keeps missing pieces here and there. She's in the middle of trying to find a good way to hide the shoujo manga on her shelf behind the actual literature books she definitely didn't only buy for school and then neglect to read when there's a knock on the door and she nearly trips over herself to open it.

"Hi," she says, a little breathless. Gin is at her door, dressed in a pale blue dress with a white cardigan and looking immaculate as always. "I hope you found it okay?"

"Yes," Gin says. "Your instructions were very thorough."

Higuchi belatedly remembers that she has to actually move aside to let Gin in, and she jumps over. "Come in, um– my room is at the end of the hall. I pulled the spare futon out already, so it's aired out for you."

"Thank you," Gin says, stepping inside and taking off the heels she'd been wearing to line them up neatly aside Higuchi's. "I hope you didn't go out of your way."

"No, it's fine!" Higuchi says. "It'll be like – like a sleepover!"

Gin hesitates, fidgeting a little with the duffel bag on her shoulder. "I've never had a sleepover before."

Stupid stupid stupid-- but Higuchi doesn't have time to beat herself up, because this is an opportunity.

"Then I'll just have to show you how it's done!" Higuchi says.

"Please teach me," Gin says, with a gaze so earnest that Higuchi feels like it's somehow knocked all the air out of her lungs.

Gin could weaponize that, but Higuchi, strangely, doesn't want anyone else to see that expression.

They both have studying to do, and Higuchi's sister stops by to pack a bag of her own.

"Where are you going?" Higuchi asks.

"Staying with Daisuke," her sister replies, stuffing a few pieces of clothing haphazardly into her bag. "For a few days."

This is not too unusual, as Higuchi's sister has always had a shockingly stable and active dating life and she regularly stays over at her boyfriend's– but she usually tells Higuchi well in advance. There's usually at least three days of prepared food in the fridge, just in case Higuchi sets the stove on fire again.

Her sister claps her on the shoulder on her way out. "Have fun! Be safe!"

"Be safe…?" Higuchi echoes as her sister leaves. She blinks after her, then sits back down to study at the table with Gin.

Half an hour later she snaps her pencil lead when she realizes her sister thinks that Gin is staying over because they're dat–

"The best part of sleepovers," Higuchi offers, "is staying up late and talking about boys, but I have an early class tomorrow…"

"Talking about boys?" Gin echoes. "Like Chuuya-kun?"

"Well, usually it's boys you like," Higuchi says, trying not to combust into embarrassment at the explanation, which feels lame in her mouth now that she's being forced to give it. "We're a little old for that, though–"

"Boys you like…" Gin echoes. She frowns, like she doesn't quite understand. "What else do you do?"

"You can make drinks," Higuchi says. "Sometimes you drink juice and pretend it's alcohol, when you're in middle school…"

"Why?" Gin asks, looking baffled. "Should we be drinking alcohol?"

"No, no– it's just that none of us had alcohol, so we would pretend, so that we could all act drunk even though we weren't," Higuchi says. Now that she's being forced to analyze it from the perspective of someone that's never had a sleepover, she has to admit it sounds ridiculous. No wonder her parents laughed at her. "We could have tea, though."

"Oh! Or coffee," Gin offers. "I could make some."

"Oh, you don't have to– you already made dinner," Higuchi says. Higuchi had dutifully done all the dishes, but Gin had cooked a meal considerably better than anything Higuchi could have pulled together, stating that Higuchi's intended meal of instant curry wasn't nutritionally balanced enough for a dinner.

"I'd like to," Gin replies. "Then we can… pretend it's alcoholic, and talk about boys."

She says this very firmly, like she's decided they have to have the full experience. She turns to go back into Higuchi's kitchen, and then pauses, turning back on her heels. "We'll still go to bed on time." This is stated as though it's a sacrifice that must be made as a heavy decision and not simply the bedtime of two grown adults.

"Sure," Higuchi says, and watches Gin go to make coffee.

Higuchi shifts things around in her bedroom again, surreptitiously kicking the shoujo manga volume she'd dropped earlier behind her shelf before it can be seen. Her room looks as pleasant as possible, but when Gin returns, she still looks clearly out of place in her nice nightgown against Higuchi's pastel unicorn blanket, which is the only spare she had in the closet.

Gin offers Higuchi one of the cups. "I made it decaffeinated, in case it would keep you up otherwise."

"Oh – thank you," Higuchi says. She takes a sip. Despite the coffee being black, it's a mild enough flavor that Higuchi doesn't feel the need to drown it in sugar. "Oh, it's really good!"

Gin beams. "So… we talk about boys, now?"

"Or play games or something," Higuchi says. "I don't really have any games…"

Gin hums, nodding. She takes a sip of her own coffee, thinking things over as they both sit. "My brother is staying with Nakajima-kun."

"Akutagawa-senpai is what?" Higuchi says, her voice a little too shrill. Gin looks at her, looking a little taken aback.

"While the apartment is being repaired," Gin explains. "I think that my brother likes him more than he lets on– isn't this what you meant about talking about boys you like?"

It absolutely is not, but Higuchi refuses to correct her this late in the game.

"I think he'd be much better for Akutagawa-senpai than Dazai-san," Higuchi says, after a moment of thought. Curiously, the sentence doesn't leave her feeling the way it used to – there's no grip of jealousy, no heat of determination to make Akutagawa appreciate her, instead. When did that happen–?

"I think so, too," Gin says, with a sigh. "I'm very grateful to Dazai-san for being so inspiring to my brother, but he…"

"He's kind of a jerk," Higuchi finishes for her, and feels grateful for the way Gin's nose crinkles up when she laughs, visible even behind her hand.

"Yes," Gin agrees. "He kind of is."

They both pause for a moment, the lull in the conversation flowing naturally – not awkwardly – and they take the opportunity to take a sip of their drinks.

After a moment, Gin ventures: "Why don't you talk about girls you like at sleepovers?"

Higuchi doesn't know how to answer that. "I– I don't know. I mean, these days, I don't know many girls…"

Gin nods, absorbing this very seriously. "I know you, and I know Ozaki-san and Izumi-chan…"

Ozaki is terrifying, and Kyouka isn't that much less terrifying despite the fact that she's fourteen, so Higuchi isn't really sure either of them count.

"But I do like you," Gin says, "so I don't mind talking about you, too."

Higuchi opens her mouth to reply and instead makes a strange, strangled noise like she can't quite get any oxygen in her lungs. Gin gives her a quizzical look, and Higuchi takes a too large sip of her coffee to cover it.

"I– don't mind talking about you, either!" Higuchi says. "I actually don't know very much about you–"

They wind up talking far later than they should: they stay up until well after midnight, talking, not about boys, but about themselves. It feels like a sleepover after all.

How to ask a girl Higuchi types into the search bar. Helpfully, it offers her: on a date, for her number, to be a reference, and, rather confusingly, if she likes pop music.

She selects the first option.

As the search results load, she parses the sound of–

"Higuchi."

She looks up to see Akutagawa looking at her and she nearly screams. The only reason she doesn't is that she keeps her mouth clamped closed, but in return, her body misfires and her grip goes slack, phone clattering to the ground.

Akutagawa frowns – she thinks; he sort of always looks like that – and bends down to pick her phone up. He looks, reflexively, at the screen, and– he's definitely frowning now, Higuchi thinks. She snatches the phone back before he can see anything else, ignoring how rude it is.

"Did you need something," she blurts, too fast.

"...I wanted to thank you," he says, slowly. Suspiciously. "For letting my sister stay with you."

"Oh."

"She had," Akutagawa says, suspiciously, "a good time."

"Oh."

Akutagawa furrows his nearly nonexistent eyebrows together.

"I'm glad she had a good time that's great you're welcome I'm late to class bye!" Higuchi blurts, barely pausing between words, and bolts. She winds up nowhere near her next class – which is still an hour away – but that doesn't matter, because she's nowhere near Akutagawa, which is the important thing.

She lets her head thunk against the drink vending machine in despair.

Higuchi stands there, the glass of the machine cool against her racing thoughts, until someone's hand slips up to press in a drink order and insert some coins. She pushes away to give them more space, but as she moves they straighten up to offer her the can of mineral water.

"Are you feeling ill?" Gin asks, softly.

"Yes. No," Higuchi says, taking the water and feeling her cheeks heat right back up. "A little."

"You should take the rest of the day off," Gin advises, seriously.

"No, it's– I." Higuchi starts. Stops.

Gin waits, patiently. Her hands are folded in front of her. She has a parasol tucked into her bag. A parasol. Gin can't be a real person; no one can be this cute and well-put together, Higuchi thinks, somewhat hysterically.

"If it's a stomach ache, then ginger or peppermint tea can help," Gin offers.

"No, I– I've just been thinking–" Higuchi says. Starts. Stops. Creaks vaguely.

Gin waits. Politely.

The moment drags on far too long, and then Gin is frowning, reaching her hand up to Higuchi's forehead. Higuchi only realizes what she's doing at the last second, and she tries to recoil and fails, Gin's hand a cool compress on her superheated, embarrassed face.

"You don't feel warm," Gin says, to Higuchi, who feels like she is approximately six million degrees.

"Will you go out with me," Higuchi blurts. "Like on a date. Like do you want to go out for coffee but as a date."

Gin blinks, and Higuchi's heart sinks as Gin retracts her hand very carefully. She frowns, and Higuchi's mouth goes dry. She's fucked up. She's really–

"I thought we did that already?" Gin says.

"Wait," Higuchi says, her thoughts stuttering to a stop.

"I thought when you asked someone for coffee it was always a date," Gin says. And then, helpfully, as though it proves her point: "I paid for us both."

Which is true – and it had felt very date-like, now that Higuchi is thinking about it – but she hadn't realized – and then her sister had left them both alone and Gin had cooked dinner and oh god, were they dating?

"Are we already dating?" Higuchi manages.

"Unless," Gin says, looking unsure for the first time, "you didn't… want to be…?"

"I just didn't– I mean, we haven't kissed or anything, so–" Higuchi stammers, because now that she's thinking about it, it sure did feel like they had started dating somewhere along the way despite knowing each other for only a few weeks but that's how everyone starts dating, right, you just hit it off and keep seeing each other and–

"Oh," Gin says, "is that the problem?"

She reaches out again, but her hand goes to Higuchi's cheek, this time, and she leans in. The kiss she gives Higuchi is chaste, but still, definitely, one hundred percent, a kiss: full lip on lip contact, Higuchi can taste her lip gloss (she's pretty sure it's hibiscus), at least a two second count; then Gin withdraws.

Higuchi doesn't know what to say for a very long moment, so Gin is the one that breaks the silence this time.

"My brother is staying with Nakajima-kun again this weekend," Gin says, and if her voice is quiet it isn't in the least bit shy, "if you would like to come over."

"Yeah. I mean– yes. Absolutely," Higuchi says, feeling like she's red enough that she could be seen from space. She doesn't care at all, though: she has somehow lucked her way into a girlfriend (a cute, perfect girlfriend). A girlfriend she didn't even realize she was dating, but – that gives her even more of an excuse to make up for it by showering Gin in affection.

"What do you mean you can't go out?" Tachihara asks. "It's Friday."

"I have a date," Higuchi says.

"What."

Higuchi pats Tachihara on the back. "You'll have to throw up on someone else, this time."

"You're never going to let that go–"

"I'm not mad," Higuchi offers, very genuinely, because she isn't: if Tachihara hadn't gotten drunk that night, she might never have met Gin.

Now that she has, however, she's definitely going to choose Gin over any further expeditions to the club. At least when Gin isn't working, she thinks.

Though she does want to see Gin in her club outfit again…