Work Text:
Nile stared at Joe for a long while after he was done telling her why he lost a crappy job.
Joe: "Are you planning on eating the rest of your fries? I am starving."
Joe didn't get any response from Nile, so he waved his hand in front of her face. It worked because, for the first time in minutes, Nile blinked.
Nile: "Yes, you can have them."
Joe: "Thanks. I am thinking of ordering more food. Do you need anything?"
Nile: "No, but I do have a lot of questions about the story you just told me because it sounds too..."
Joe: "Crazy?"
Nile: "Also that, but I was going to say farfetched so go order more food because we are going to be here for a while."
Joe: "Fair enough. Be right back."
Joe took the last fries on the plate before he left. It didn't take long before he was back again with another portion of fries.
Nile: "One day, we have to talk about your love for curry ketchup."
Joe stopped dunking his fries in the curry ketchup.
Joe: "Why? It tastes amazing."
Nile: "As I said before, we will talk about curry ketchup another day because right now, I want to get something straight about why you lost your crappy job today."
Joe: "Okay, ask away, Nile."
Joe continued eating his fries.
Nile: "Around 7.30 AM this morning, you ran into a cyclist because you were looking at your phone, or am I wrong?"
Joe pointed at Nile with one of the fries.
Joe: "A totally hot Italian cyclist with the most gorgeous ass in the world."
Joe ate the fries he was holding.
Nile: "So, you ran into the cyclist. Was either of you hurt when it happened?"
Joe: "No, because the cyclist did something everyone should do when riding a bike or a car, for that matter."
Nile: "And that is?"
Joe: "He pulled over to the side when his phone rang."
Nile: "Okay, I agree that is something everyone should do."
Joe smiled before dunking more fries in the curry ketchup.
Nile: "After running into the cyclist, you ended up in the grass, kissing. How did that happen?"
Joe: "Destiny?"
Nile looked at Joe with a smile. Her oldest friend was a hopeless romantic if you asked her.
Joe: "Joking aside, since I was the one who knocked the cyclist over I made sure to aim for something soft to land on, and I did say sorry more than once."
Nile: "With your mouth."
Joe: "Let us just say it was the most mind-blowing kiss I have ever gotten in my entire life. And I did ask for his name and permission before we kissed."
Nile: "I know you did because your parents have taught you some manners."
Joe looked at Nile. His oldest friend looked angry.
Nile: "No, we aren't talking about my love life right now."
Joe: "Okay, but we will later."
Nile nodded.
Nile: "So, when you stopped kissing the cyclist, you ended up at his place twenty minutes later, where you had sex. Why would you do that and don't say it was because he was hot?"
Joe stopped eating his fries.
Joe: "Well, the sex happened two hours after we got to his place. Before that, we talked while eating breakfast and got to know each other. And Nile, everything felt so right with him. It was like I had known him for my entire life."
Nile: "Joe, not that I want to burst your bubble, but how can you be sure he isn't a mass murderer or worse? You could have been killed."
Joe: "I can assure you the only thing he killed me with was a great orgasm."
Nile took the menu card before hitting Joe on the head with it.
Nile: "We are in public, Joe."
Joe: "Sorry, but that is the truth."
Nile hit Joe again with the menu card.
Joe: "Listen, Nile. I know I shouldn't have done things the way I did, but I don't regret one single moment of it."
Nile had seen Joe in love many times before, but not in this way. It was like the teenage crushes were gone, and a more mature love had taken over Joe.
Nile: "At what point did you realize you had gone with a stranger instead of going to work?"
Joe: "When he, with great sadness, told me he had to bury someone at 4 PM. That was three hours ago after we agreed to meet for dinner at his place at 8 PM."
Nile looked horrified at Joe.
Joe: "He is an undertaker, working at his family business. They have been burying people since 1777."
Joe could tell that Nile still looked horrified.
Joe: "Look, he gave me a brochure to show you."
Joe found the brochure and handed it to Nile before pointing at a photo of a man at Joe's age.
Joe: "That is the cyclist I ran into this morning who killed me with..."
Nile placed a hand on the menu card.
Joe: "You know that part. His name is Nicky, and I can't wait for you and my Mom to meet him. Is it okay if I bring him to the party on Saturday so you can see for yourself that he is beautiful, kind, funny, smart, and so much more?"
Nile: "Only if you stop talking about your sex life in public."
Joe: "I promise."
Joe ate the rest of the fries.
Nile: "So, what happened after you left Nicky's place?"
Joe: "I went straight to work, and after shouting at me, Merrick fired me. I won't miss him and his crappy work."
Nile laughed.
Joe: "What?"
Nile: "All it took was a cyclist to knock some sense into your tick noggin."
Joe: "I don't follow."
Nile: "Everyone has been telling you for years that Merrick has never appreciated you and that you have basically been working for free. Then you meet a cyclist, and after having sex with him, you have finally seen the light. So, of course, you can bring him to the party on Saturday because I want to shake that man's hand."
Joe: "Just so you are prepared: he is more a hugger than a handshaker."
Nile: "I don't mind that."
Nile stood up and took her handbag.
Joe: "Going somewhere?"
Nile: "Yes, to see your Mother."
Joe could feel he was about to get worried about something.
Joe: "May I ask why?"
Nile: "I am going to tell her what you have told me. And I know she will be happy on your behalf that you have finally met someone you want to bring home to her."
Joe: "Nile, don't you dare do that. I want to tell my Mom about Nicky."
Nile: "You never tell the entire story, which is something I will do."
Joe: "I do so."
Nile walked towards the cafe's front door, so Joe grabbed his jacket and followed after Nile, who stopped him before he could leave the cafe.
Nile: "Haven't you forgotten something?"
Joe: "What?"
Nile: "You haven't paid for the four plates of fresh fries you ate."
Joe: "Damn it. Wait here for me."
Nile: "Not a chance. You can find me at your Mother's store when you are done here."
Nile left laughing, leaving Joe to pay his bill. As Joe ran towards his Mother's store, he hoped Nile had left out certain details of his story because he knew if his Mother heard the entire story, he would never hear the end of it.