Chapter Text
It’s more than a year before they’re able to meet for more than an afternoon. Richard had been absolutely giddy waiting for Thomas as the station. They’d both wrangled two half-days–a little harder for Richard than Thomas, sadly, because no one at the Palace actually cared whether he liked his schedule or had other things to do. But now, it was barely two in the afternoon; they could have an entire afternoon, evening, night, and morning. A whole day, practically, if spread out a little. Richard could hardly contain himself.
When the train screeched to a halt, Richard Ellis, well-mannered valet of His Majesty and a fully-grown man, had restrained the impulse to bounce on the balls of his feet as passengers disembarked. At last, Thomas had appeared, valise in hand. He’d stood out from the crowd–tall and fair and beautiful–and as he’d caught Richard’s eye, he’d tried and failed to suppress that lovely smile, so pleased to be here, and to be wanted by Richard, and shy for what it meant.
Richard was never shy of the meaning. What did it all mean? He thought. Well, it meant the world.
They’d dropped their things at the inn, and had gone out for a stroll. They’d gone window shopping, not really aiming for anything but just finding little things to talk about. They’d stopped on a street corner to watch an impromptu magic act being put on by two young men. They’d gone out to eat at a pub, and enjoyed their excellent fish and chips and watered down beer. Not a care in the world for rushing.
They’d gone back to the inn when the sun had just set, and as quietly as possible, pushed the two beds together. They’d bumped noses as both of them had leaned into a kiss a little too enthusiastically, and Richard had swallowed Thomas’s stifled laughter in their second try.
They had not seen each other in person enough yet to know each other, physically, as much as they’d like. However, Richard relished the thrill of learning new things about Thomas, about his body, and from what he could tell, his lover held no complaints.
Deep into the night, sated and exhausted, Richard had pulled Thomas down against him to rest on his shoulder, arm draped over his chest. Thomas’s breaths tickled his skin, puffing against the hair on his chest, and the heat between their bodies was just a little to hot to be perfectly comfortable. But neither would move, neither cared enough to sacrifice this moment.
Fingers dancing slowly over Thomas’s shoulders, Richard spoke into the black room. “This is nice.”
Thomas snorted. “It’s always nice. D’you need a bit of an ego boost?”
A light swat on a pale shoulder. And a grin. “No, my ego is quite secure in that department. I just meant, lying here with you, like this. It’s nice.”
“Hmm. Not having to get up and leave, you mean?”
“Yes, exactly that.”
Thomas cuddled impossibly closer. “Suppose it is.”
Richard let that truth settle in the air for a moment. Then, “Would be nice to do it more often.”
Thomas sighed deeply, but this time it sounded like a burden. “Let’s put off feeling sad until tomorrow, please? I’m actually feeling pretty good right now.”
“I don’t mean to make you feel sad, love. I just…well, I…”
Thomas pushed himself up onto his elbow to look at Richard’s face. It was endlessly endearing, his mussed hair and kiss-reddened lips trying to be stern. “Out with it, Dick. I can practically hear the gears turning.”
“I love you.”
Thomas huffed a laugh, and leaned down for a peck. “I love you, too. What else?”
Richard, for the first time that day, felt an inkling of insecurity. “I tend to hope for too much.”
Something in Thomas’s face softened. Something old. “It’s not against the law to hope.”
“No. No, so I hope you won’t think me silly.”
“What do you hope for?” Thomas asked the question with immense care, hardly daring to breathe.
“Well,” Richard started, “I hope that we’ll be able to do this more often, firstly. I like just being with you, without having to check my watch.”
“Yes.”
Richard paused. He wanted to tell Thomas that he hoped for a permanent solution. That he wanted to fall asleep and wake up next to Thomas every night and morning, wanted to make a home together, wanted to kiss him before they both left for work in the morning and again when they both came back home again. Wanted to grow old together. He had enough self-awareness to understand that what he really wanted was marriage to the man he loved. As much as he believed that, one day, their lot would have it better, he wasn’t so out of touch with reality to think that it could happen in their lifetime. But while they’d have to make some sacrifices, what he really, truly hoped for was for he and Thomas to get as close to that distant reality as they could.
That was the truth in his heart, but it wasn’t what he said. Perhaps it was for Thomas, who was still quite skittish in the face of good things; or maybe it was for himself, who had been told time and again that he moved too fast, wanted too much.
But with Thomas, it was different. What he said aloud was, “I hope that…if, one day, I could find us a way…you might consider moving in together.”
Quiet, for a tense moment. “Moving in together. Us?”
Despite it all, Richard rolled his eyes. “Unless you have someone else in mind, love.”
Thomas dropped down onto his chest again, hiding his face from view, but his hold on Richard was much tighter than it had been. He clung to Richard as though he was trying to convince himself that they were still there, that he, or Richard, wasn’t just going to float away. His breathing became very measured, and when Richard felt his chest under Thomas’s face become wet, he almost panicked that he’d overstepped.
“Darling–”
“If you–” Thomas started, holding firm, “If we could find a way, I would.”
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, o’course.”
“Plenty of blokes like us have managed.”
“Plenty.”
It wasn’t plenty, they both knew, but it was possible, and that was all Richard needed.
“We’ll find a way, my love. I promise you.”
Thomas moved up the bed to kiss him again, deeply. It was one of the things that Richard had managed to learn about him in their time together, the fact that Thomas loved kissing. When words failed him, Thomas would express his emotions in the best way he knew how.
They went on like that for a long, lovely time, and when they settled again they were facing each other on the pillow, their hands clasped together between them. Sleep pulled at them both; Richard saw the haziness lay like a blanked over Thomas’s countenance. He kissed their joined hands. “Sleep now, love. I’ll see you in the morning.”
Thomas smiled.