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A rather warm light illuminated onto Mizuki, the passersbys becoming indistinctive to the background, the city lights from stalls ranging from bakeries to luxurious brands blurring into fine lines, a gradient of light amber tinged with butterscotch, blending seamlessly with the gentle hue of the emerging evening.
“The thing is, Mafuyu, I believe that taking on whatever life throws at you takes a lot of energy. At the same time, if you can’t get away from all of your problems, they’ll just sap away all of your energy until there’s nothing left. You know what I mean, right? After suffering through so much pain for so long, you just sorta lose the will to go on…”
A bittersweet smile crinkled Mizuki’s face just a slight bit, their hair swaying gently to the soft breeze of wind, contributing more to the brief mesmerising moment, the light highlighting their facial features.
“Which is why I believe in order for that not to happen…and to survive…it’s necessary to have a place where you can run to whenever you need it. Obviously, I’m not saying that running is the best option since it doesn’t actually solve anything. And it only provides short-term relief…but I believe it’s okay to run when you’re faced with an unbearable amount of pain and suffering that’s going to take your life force away. So…when you think you’ve reached your limit, I say run. Get out while you can…”
Mizuki’s expression softened significantly compared to before, their pupils, light pink, having a glaze and a sparkle in their eyes. It was somehow obvious to Mafuyu, someone unable to recognise more ‘touchy’ and sentimental emotions, that they were trying to contain unspoken tears.
“For your sake, Mafuyu. You. No one else.”
For Mafuyu to hear to be ‘selfish’ and to prioritise her very own sake, the very opinion that she considered the least of, was rather unusual. She was always accustomed to pleasing others around her, almost attuning her very actions and her responses to give some form of pleasure to others around them, she has never once thought about prioritising her very own opinion, or at least, couldn’t recall any moment where she contemplated about the mere thought of it. Metaphorically submerged and utterly consumed at the idea of pleasing others, Mafuyu, resolutely ‘assumed’ to eternally be always forever be tangled and imprisoned at the cold bottom of the sea of compliments, for that very moment, Mafuyu could see the faint silhouette of a hand struggling to reach out to her. To suddenly be the receiving end of such advice spoken from the very depths of someone’s heart, was rather sudden to Mafuyu. The previous leisure activities prior, unserious and the precious moments of bonding through blunders and laughter, although it was mostly Mizuki, it certainly wasn’t one-sided, it was more of the other party’s unsuccessful and unconveyed responses, muffled and dulled from tiredness of maintaining one’s persona.
“...Oh…okay…I’ll try…” Mafuyu muttered, although looking unaffected and apathetic on the outside, it was rather the opposite on the inside, for a long time, Mafuyu finally felt warm, not the small mere tingle of warmth, this sensation was a lot more different. Mafuyu felt an urge, not in a way feeling obligated, but rather, voluntary, to always be the one to see their smile and to be the cause of it. Those silly songs about love were starting to make a lot more sense. The problem was, Mafuyu wasn’t sure if it was unrequited, after all, she always thought herself as ‘insignificant’ and ‘lowly’, without the persona plastered onto her.
For Mizuki, Mafuyu and them were similar in ways that were vastly different to the other members of Nightcord, Kanade and Ena, yet they were the polar opposites, one praised while one outcasted and alienated, despite all of that, both of them share the same experience. The idea of Mafuyu having no coherent identity stung Mizuki’s heartstrings, the thought resonating deeply with Mizuki having a confident idea of themselves. Mafuyu in the present reminded Mizuki of their middle school self, like a…
Stray cat, lost in their surroundings and vulnerable.
“I’m so glad to help you, you know..? Come to me whenever you feel like it…I’ll always be there, like the umbrella in the pouring rain…or the box holding a stray cat..” Mizuki muttered to themselves, unaware that Mafuyu could hear, however, Mafuyu kept quiet about it.
But still, it was out of character for Mizuki to suddenly act upon their own desires without thinking rationally, dragging Mafuyu to say these words to her without telling Kanade and Ena beforehand. However, Mizuki knew the very reason why they did that, it was a mixture of determination to finally free Mafuyu, previously conceived to be ‘unreachable’, from the shackles and also, blooming love.
“Ahh…how ironic that I’m telling her to be selfish while here I am, being selfish acting upon love, what a hypocrite I am, right?” Mizuki thought to themselves as the mesmerising moment gradually began to cease.
After a moment of awkward yet comfortable silence, Mizuki finally suggested for the both of them to start walking back home, luckily, Mizuki’s home was on the way to Mafuyu’s house.
Walking peacefully back home contradicted the once tense situation they were both in when first meeting each other. The first time they were both on voice call, the previous pseudo identities of ‘Amia’ and ‘Yuki’, now ‘Mizuki Akiyama’ and ‘Mafuyu Asahina’, after sharing the many experiences and interactions, it finally felt like…it was finally interconnecting. In truth, Mizuki hopelessly fell in love with Mafuyu during one particular trip to see the blooming cherry blossoms, where Mizuki organised a ‘mystery’ tour to somewhere random, where Mizuki originally didn’t intend to instead return with romantic feelings. Mizuki could clearly recall the dazzling silhouette of Mafuyu, her purple hair, so clearly animated in the medium gust of wind and the light pink cherry blossoms complimenting each other, it was ‘selfish’ of them to imagine the cherry blossoms as themselves, but they tried to justify it with the cherry blossom’s abnormal resemblance to their eyes. The euphoric feeling of just merely witnessing her, while the other two seemed unaffected from her presence.
They fell first, she fell harder.
“Hey Mafuyu…here..” Mizuki spluttered, flustered, while leaning their hand towards Mafuyu.
Mafuyu hesitated initially, pulling away from the gesture. Would it please others if she held hands with someone that the general public didn’t know? Or should she not care about her surroundings for once? Would she do it…for them? An internal conflict reigned in Mafuyu’s head, the presumed girl to forever be eternally in shackles at the bottom of the sea, would she finally break free from it, just for a bit?
Mizuki, knowing Mafuyu too well through the shared experiences and bonds, proceeded to just hold Mafuyu’s hands with theirs, giving a teasing smile, as an attempt to mask their flusteredness and self-consciousness of an intimate act, although it clearly wasn’t a teasing smile, but rather, it was a fond and ‘genuine appreciation for the other’ smile.
“When she finally understands, even just a bit more, of what I said to her before, I know Mafuyu wouldn’t understand it as much currently, considering the situation and struggles she’s going through, but after the petite and fragile girl finally breaks free of her mum’s grasp, I just have one selfish wish…” Mizuki says to themselves.
When Mafuyu wasn’t looking or aware, Mizuki took a glance at Mafuyu’s figure, all too ethereal for this french fry and curry rice lover, Mizuki.
“In the near future, please fall in love with me back.” Mizuki says to themselves, as they shoot another warm smile, countless times done when unaware, at Mafuyu.
Mafuyu finally notices that Mizuki is looking at her and tilts her head in confusion. “Hm? What are you looking at Mizuki?” She inquires, while fighting the urge to look into Mizuki’s eyes directly.
“Ahaha it’s nothing, just thinking about what other cute clothes and accessories to put onto you! You know, since Ena refused to wear this cute bow, perhaps you should try it~ ❤︎” Mizuki replied casually, although this time, they were hiding their flusteredness well.