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You really didn’t mean to snap at him.
Nobody ever means to snap at anybody, it wasn’t even really snapping, you could argue. More so a “Just leave me alone!” that a moody teenager tells their mom when she asks how their day at school was. Nothing full of misguided anger nor hatred, but just wanting to be left alone. Is that so wrong? You didn’t think that was wrong, HE seemed to somewhat disagree by that stupid hurt confused expression on his face that of course he had to have. Which only made you feel worse, because now you made the love of your life look hurt when all he asked was what was wrong.
You hated that question. “Hey, kitten, are you okay? What’s wrong? You look a little down.” If he thinks you look a little down, then clearly you aren’t okay. And what was wrong? Well…
Well that was harder to answer. Because it was a list. A full on list. It started a few weeks ago, small little things that get you down. That was easy enough to manage, you just continued on like you always do. Because life’s like that, and as much as it bothered you, one good cry and you move on. If you even cried in the first place. Sometimes it was just an annoyed rant and cool, done, yay! But something about these little things rooted into your skin like splinters. They were easy to ignore, but they were there all the same. If you got close enough or hit the mark, it would hurt, but looking any closer you saw nothing. So you dismissed it, because why wouldn’t you? It wasn’t a big deal, certainly didn’t feel like one.
Then came your birthday. Which isn’t a big deal to you. It was great saying you’re another year older, feeling like a day is a little bit more about you. In this realm, it was really just about the peace of mind that it gave. Honestly, you didn’t even need people to really remember it, but what pissed you off was your own boyfriend seeming to forget. Even if he said “Happy birthday” it would have helped a little bit. Actually, a lot. It would have helped a lot.
Instead, it felt like he didn’t know what was wrong in the slightest. You got out of an exhausting trial that you barely escaped from, though you felt just as dead, You two just cuddled, which is fantastic normally. Except then he would get up every 5 minutes, so whenever you got comfortable, it was for nothing. The campfire didn’t ever feel warm enough either, you could thank the entity for that one. So it was just a little upsetting that you couldn’t even get this one night. It was simple, just talk by the campfire, curled up, get a little time together. That would make it a fantastic birthday.
But instead, here you were, pacing around the realm, observing everyone else huddled around their personal campfires, chatting and laughing. It only stung more. Yeah, it may have been stupid (to other people) to start sobbing over the fact they couldn’t really celebrate their birthday, but it was more than that. You swear it was more than that.
You just felt small. You’ve felt microscopic since you got trapped in this stupid realm. You were a doll, a plaything, just an extra source of entertainment.
It continued to feel like you were crumbling, until in your mindless pacing you hit what initially you thought was a tree, instead looking up to meet those harsh yellow eyes that you loved. Rather hated right now, but that was truly out of frustration. Even though you knew it would pass.
“Kitty cat…” He murmured. There was no pity in his voice, only genuine concern. “Can I hold you?”
You collapsed into his arms just about immediately, and just let it out. He didn’t say a word. He didn’t demean you, or anything the other survivors seemed to expect from the man. He only pet you, shushing you. His fingers combed through the slight curls atop your head, humming gently. You didn’t even process your legs moving until there was a strong warmth against your skin as you approached the campfire.
He sat you down against a log, wiping your tears away. “Need anything, kitty?” You shook your head, really you just needed him to keep holding you. As if he could read your mind, his arms slid around you, reaching behind and placing a little cake on your lap. “Had to bribe Yun-Jin to give me an escape cake. Happy birthday, kitty.” He pressed a kiss against your head, smiling, and you smiled too.
You two ate by the campfire, curled into one another, and your worries faded away. What bottled up and boiled over had become calm water, and you couldn’t help but fall asleep into his arms. Maybe life here wasn’t so awful, so long as you were provided moments like this.