Work Text:
Broken Tether
by
Lamenting Quill
Minerva was seated at the kitchen table at Grimmauld Place, appearing calm and collected as always as she quietly sipped her tea. On the inside, however, she was anything but. How could she be when Ronald Weasley was all over her lover like a Niffler on a Galleon?
“Enjoying the festivities, Headmistress?”
Turning her eyes reluctantly from Hermione, she gazed up into the kind face of one Remus Lupin. Smiling, she nodded. “I always enjoy Harry’s annual Order of the Phoenix End of War Reunion Weekend Sabbatical Celebration Exaltation Extravaganza; can’t say I care as much for the title, though.”
He chuckled, hazel eyes twinkling. “I did implore him to shorten it, but you know how he can be; as stubborn as his dad and as rebellious as Sirius.”
“Indeed,” she returned, casting a fond look in the direction of the young man currently standing by the punch bowl, his arm around Ginny Weasley’s waist, a baby in Ginny’s arms. “And no doubt little Lily Ginevra Potter there will be exactly the same; perhaps worse if she inherits her twin uncles’ flair for trouble-making.”
“May Merlin have pity on the Hogwarts staff in eleven years; and let us hope that Severus is still teaching!”
“Remus!” she chided, though her laughter ruined it. “I think Severus has been through quite enough in the past few years without being subjected to such a thing as that.”
“We all have, Minerva, though we don’t continually go out of our ways to make others miserable. I see he couldn’t be bothered to come again this year, as always. What is his excuse this time, or did he even bother with one?”
Minerva sighed, looking down into her cup of punch. “He told me he had research that he couldn’t leave – something he’s working on about Dark Magic to submit to the Board of Governors to be added to the Defence curriculum next year. Not to teach it, of course, but just to better understand it, so that one can be better prepared to defend against it. It’s a good idea, really, and I’ve read the syllabus. But I don’t think it was so imperative he couldn’t have come. Harry even invited him personally this year, which I thought was rather something of the proverbial olive branch.”
“I wasn’t aware Harry had done that. That was very good of him. I know how torn he was when he first found out that it had been under Albus’s orders that Severus had done what he had. He never could understand how Severus could agree to, let alone go through with, something like that. I wish Severus had accepted the invitation for what it was: an obvious attempt to let bygones be bygones.”
Minerva nodded her agreement, taking a sip of her punch before replying, “I agree, but I think that Severus feels like an outcast in our group. He always feels uncomfortable and judged, and the way some of our number have been known to treat him I can’t say as I blame him much.”
“Minerva…” Remus said, tapping a finger to his chin thoughtfully. “How do you think he would react if I went to the school and pulled him from his research and dragged him here?”
Chuckling at the mental image, she shook her head slightly saying, “I wasn’t aware you had a death wish, Remus.”
He smiled at her, straightening the sleeves of his robes as he said, “Oh, I don’t think he will kill me. Give me a fierce tongue-lashing, I’m certain. But I do think it would be good for him to be a part of this weekend’s celebration. Maybe it will mellow him a bit.”
“You’re welcome to try, of course, and I do agree with you. If you don’t return within the hour I’ll send in the rescue team,” she offered with a small smirk.
“Why Minerva, I didn’t know you cared!”
She smacked him playfully on the arm, saying, “Oh, off with you! Go get our Defence Professor and tell him I said to play nice, or he might just find I lose his syllabus, and how could the Board ever see it, then?”
Remus lifted a brow approvingly as he replied, “How positively Slytherin of you. Oh, by the way, if Tonks asks where I’ve gone just tell her I stepped out for something and I’ll be back shortly, will you?”
“Certainly.”
Once alone again Minerva turned back to her observation of Ronald Weasley and his hands, and more specifically, where they may be touching her lover’s body now. It was so frustrating keeping her relationship with Hermione a secret. She wanted everyone to know but Hermione was concerned about how not only her friends might react, but how it could affect her advancement at the Ministry as well. She was currently nominated for Head of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement – a position she had been working on for years – and she was afraid that lesbian discrimination may keep her from being chosen, no matter how far ahead of the Muggles the Wizarding World was in their acceptance of homosexuality.
Minerva could understand her fears, but at the same time they had been together in secret for two years now. She loved Hermione completely and knew the feeling to be mutual, but all the secrecy… it seemed only to cheapen it somehow, and that was what Minerva hated the most. Not to mention the fact that she was currently sitting at the table alone when she could be dancing with her lover in the parlour instead.
As she watched Ronald place his hand on the small of Hermione’s back and lean in to whisper something in her ear, she had had quite enough. She couldn’t sit there and watch the display another second, so she stood, about to go find some peace and space in the library when Tonks approached her.
“Hey Minerva, have you by any chance seen Remus?”
“Indeed I have; he mentioned stepping out for something. He shouldn’t be gone long,” she replied, settling back in her chair despite the urge to leave it. She endured small talk with the young Auror that mainly centred on Remus and how wonderful he was, and how grand it was to be in love. It most assuredly wasn’t what Minerva had any desire to hear at present.
Once Tonks had thankfully excused herself, Minerva stood to once again attempt to go find sanctuary elsewhere when the kitchen fire flared green and she saw Severus emerge. Shocked to see that Remus had actually succeeded in retrieving the Defence Professor, Minerva forgot her desire to flee in favour of going over to the fireplace.
“Severus, what a surprise! I’m so glad you had a… change of heart.”
“Do wipe that smirk off of your face, Minerva. You know very well I had no such thing.”
“I assure you I haven’t the slightest idea what you’re talking about,” she returned lightly, smiling at the glare she received. “There’s punch over there if you’d like a cup, and I’m sure Harry would appreciate it if you said hello. Have you even seen his daughter yet?”
“For some reason visiting with Potter and his offspring hasn’t been very high on my to-do list, Minerva,” he drawled, folding his arms and leaning against the mantle. “You’ll forgive me if I don’t rush over and start gushing about yet another generation of torturous, arrogant dunderheads.”
“Severus…” she said, using her best warning tone, “need I remind you that whether you wanted to be or not, you’re now a guest in Mr Potter’s home, and I expect you to act with some decorum as a professor who represents my school. It was very kind of Harry to invite you, and I promise you the invitation was genuine. The least you can do is show him, his family and friends some respect.”
“Yes, do leave the hate at the grate, Severus,” Remus added amusedly, stepping out of the Floo and dusting soot off his robes.
Severus raised a brow, lip curling in distaste. “Is that supposed to be humorous, Lupin?”
“Ah, perhaps I should have gone with ‘Leave your ire in the fire’ – is that more to your liking?”
“No,” he snarled, causing both Remus and Minerva to chuckle.
“Whether or not you like the manner in which the message was delivered, Severus, I trust you to heed it,” Minerva said, patting him fondly on the arm. “Try to have a good time. It certainly wouldn’t kill you.”
The look on his face plainly said that he rather thought it would, but after sparing Remus and her one last, withering glare he – quite petulantly, Minerva thought – made his way over to a surprised Harry.
Turning her attention to Remus, Minerva asked, “Are you still in one piece, then?”
“Amazingly so, yes. It wasn’t too bad – mind, not something I fancy doing on a regular basis. But I managed well enough,” he replied with a grin, watching as Severus and Harry shared a rather awkward-looking exchange. “I believe a little celebration is in order in the wake of our success. Might I persuade you to accompany an old werewolf to the parlour for a dance, Headmistress?” he asked, offering his arm overly gallantly.
Smiling, she gave a slight curtsey before tucking her hand in his arm and replying, “It would be my pleasure, dear Sir.”
She still felt quite sad and, if she were honest, bitter about her situation with Hermione, but perhaps some dancing with a close friend was just the thing she needed to cheer her.
She couldn’t have been more wrong.
As Remus led her in a rather fast-paced waltz, she had made the mistake of voicing a certain observation.
“So, it seems that your relationship with Tonks couldn’t be going any better from what she told me. I’m truly happy for you, Remus. She’s a lovely witch, and you deserve the happiness.”
“Thank you, Minerva. She’s definitely the best thing that’s ever happened to me, that’s for certain. And what about you? You never really speak of your private life much. Surely someone has been smart enough to claim the lovely heart of Minerva McGonagall.”
Yes, someone had, only she wasn’t allowed to say so. Swallowing the pain of her secrets, she managed to say lightly enough, “Oh, you know… horrible work hours; difficult to get a moment away from the castle.” Which was true enough, if somewhat misleading.
“Well, I’m sure that someone will sweep you off your feet soon. They would be foolish not to, and besides, romance seems to be in the air. Neville and Luna, Harry and Ginny, Bill and Fleur… and I couldn’t help but notice that Ron seemed to be attempting to woo Hermione earlier. She appeared to be playing hard to get, but I think it quite probable that they end up together after all they’ve been through, don’t you?”
“No,” she said sharply, causing Remus to pull back slightly and look at her questioningly. Clearing her throat, she tried to amend, “I just can’t see them as a couple. They’re very different, you know.”
Remus was still looking at her somewhat curiously but seemed to let the matter go as he gave a light smile, saying, “Tonks and I are as well, but you know what they say! Opposites attract.”
Minerva had never been so thankful for the ending of a song in her life, and once the dance was over she thanked Remus for it and made an excuse about needing punch to make her way quickly from the parlour. She didn’t even look for Hermione this time, not wanting to see Ron and his attempts at ‘wooing’ her as Remus had said. She bypassed the kitchen and headed straight for the stairs, intent on going to the library to find some solace in the books. She was stopped, however, by the familiar voice of her lover.
“Minerva, are you alright?”
Sparing only a quick glance to make sure no one else was around the stairs, Minerva hissed, “Oh, don’t mind me. I’m just upset at having just practically lied to one of my dearest friends about my relationship status. Don’t let my personal problems keep you from Mr Weasley – I’m certain he’s missing you by now.” And without waiting for a reply she turned and stormed up the stairs, going into the library and just barely refraining from slamming the door. It wouldn’t do to have anyone from the party come to see what was going on and find her so upset. She didn’t need any more questions that she couldn’t answer.
Walking huffily over to one of the expansive walls of books she scanned the titles, not even registering them as a myriad of thoughts flitted rapidly through her mind. She was just about to select a random book when she heard the door open, and she whirled around to see Hermione extracting her wand and warding the room. Once finished, the young woman turned to face her, eyes questioning.
“What’s the matter, Minerva? What was all that about?”
“What it was about,” she snapped, crossing her arms over her chest in a self-protective gesture, “is that I have to keep the best thing in my life – our relationship – a secret from everyone, including those that I care most about, and have to watch Ronald Weasley paw you like some sex-starved Kneazle.”
“He is annoyingly persistent, isn’t he? I don’t think my words of ‘friendship only’ ever make it to his brain,” she said, smiling in an obvious attempt to ease Minerva out of her discontentment.
It wouldn’t work.
“Hermione, I hate this, being tethered by our secret. You know that I do,” she said, rubbing a hand over her forehead in a frustrated manner. “I’m tired of lying and hedging and pretending that I don’t love you the way that I do.”
“And you think that I’m not?” she asked softly, walking forward to stand in front of her but not touching. “Minerva, I love you too, and I want everyone to know, but it’s just not a good time right now. You know my reasons.”
“It hasn’t been a good time for two years, Hermione. Am I to expect two more? If you’re not willing to compromise your position at the Ministry right now during your nomination, what is to make me think you won’t feel the same way if you get the position? You think lesbian discrimination might keep you from making Head of the Department, but do you not think it might get you fired from it?”
Hermione shook her head, placing her hand gently on Minerva’s arm as she said, “They’re too smart to fire me for my sexual preferences after the fact, Minerva. They know they would be piled so far under litigation paperwork they’d scarcely climb out. But right now it’s different, as I’m merely a nominee. They could blame not choosing me on anything while my sexual preference would be the main reason and no one would really know it; but to fire me they would have to have a solid reason, and I don’t plan on giving them one.”
Minerva gently tugged her arm out from under Hermione’s hand, taking a small step backwards as she said, somewhat shakily, “At first we couldn’t be open about our relationship because of your friends, and now we can’t because of your friends and your nomination. What will it be next, Hermione? Is there even a chance that I might move up on your list of priorities? I’m not giving you an ultimatum. If you want to wait a bit longer, then fine. But it would be nice to know that at some point in our life together our relationship – and honesty to yourself – might be more important to you than the thoughts of spineless Ministry bureaucrats,” she finished, turning and walking to door.
“Minerva—”
“Don’t,” she called over her shoulder, pausing long enough at the door to say, “I’m going to retire for the evening. Just think about what I’ve said. I do love you, Hermione. I’m just not sure how much longer I can live this way.” And with that she left the library for her room, hoping that by retiring early her bunkmate, Hestia Jones, wouldn’t be inclined to bother her if she thought her to be already asleep.
“Minerva, wake up. It’s time for breakfast.”
Opening eyes that she was certain she had only just closed, Minerva looked up into Hestia’s much-too-chipper face.
“There’s a good lass! Now hop up and get dressed. Most of the others are already downstairs. You know how crazy the final day of Harry’s Weekend Sabbatical always is.”
Indeed she did. She would definitely need the fortification of a decent breakfast to get through the celebratory mayhem. Only she didn’t feel much like celebrating today at all. However, she managed to say to Hestia, “Very well. Don’t bother waiting for me, I’ll be down shortly.”
Once alone she dressed quickly, trying to make herself look as presentable as possible after a nearly sleepless night. She wasn’t quite certain how long she had lain awake thinking about her confrontation with Hermione, but the first rays of the morning sun had been starting to breach the horizon. She felt miserable and somewhat guilty for her behaviour. She knew that Hermione was worried about ‘coming out’ but it still didn’t negate the fact that she was tired of living in secrecy. She really had been feeling low on the young woman’s list of priorities, and she didn’t regret saying so. She could only hope that things would work out.
Sighing, she exited her room and made her way down the stairs and into the kitchen, bidding everyone good morning as she took a seat between Remus and Hestia. She couldn’t help but notice that Hermione was absent, and she instantly began to worry. Had she left in the night? Perhaps she had decided that such a controversial relationship with an older woman wasn’t what she wanted after all.
Not feeling the least bit hungry, but knowing someone – likely Remus – would notice if she didn’t eat something, Minerva reached for a few pieces of toast and the orange marmalade. Before she could attempt to choke down a few bites, however, she heard her lover’s name from none other than Ronald Weasley’s mouth.
“Hermione! Over here; I saved you a seat!”
Looking up, Minerva saw Hermione coming into the kitchen looking cheery but worn just beneath her smile. It was obvious that Minerva hadn’t been the only one who hadn’t received much sleep the night before. Wishing that Hermione could sit next to her even though there was no empty chair at her side, Minerva turned back to her toast expecting Hermione to take the chair Ron was offering. Therefore, she was quite surprised by what she heard.
“Thank you, Ron, but I think I’ll pass this morning,” Hermione said brightly, walking around the table to stop just between Remus and Minerva, ignoring all the gazes turned in her direction. Her eyes were apologetic as she said softly, “Good morning, Minerva. I would sit beside you but there doesn’t seem to be a vacant chair.”
Surprised, Minerva searched her lover’s eyes to make sure she wasn’t mistaken on her intent before scooting her chair away from the table just enough and saying, “I’m certain I could be put-upon to share, just this once.”
Beaming, Hermione seated herself in Minerva’s lap, wrapping an arm around her shoulders and giving her a quick kiss on the lips. Paying no mind to the shocked silence in the kitchen, the young witch then grabbed one of the neglected pieces of toast on Minerva’s plate and held it to the older woman’s mouth.
Feeling happier than she thought possible, Minerva chuckled, raising a brow at the goddess in her lap. “Going to feed me, are you?”
Hermione smiled, saying sincerely, “It’s the least I can do for such an amazing, understanding chair.”
