Work Text:
Lee Kyehoon liked to think he had this whole leader thing down to a tee. He sorta had to think like that if he wanted to survive handling a bunch of rowdy teenagers every single day without losing his mind, anyway. Something about manifesting that he was capable? Jinyoung PD-nim mentioned it once in one of his long-winded monologues about being a good person. Kyehoon learned pretty early on that he was allowed to totally space out whenever that happened, but some things did stick.
Regardless, Kyehoon has had more than enough time to get to know the members under his care, whether he knew they were going to be in the same group as him or not. Years of training individually coupled with training as an actual group, even before they were named Kickflip, led to Kyehoon and the others just naturally opening up to each other. Something to do with a bond. Part of JYP’s master plan and all that. Making him train for 9 whole years…
Anyway.
It was nice. Kyehoon didn’t think someone as deeply introverted as himself could even be called a leader, but it was nice. He was getting the hang of it, thankfully.
So, when one of his members started displaying odd behaviour out of nowhere, it was only natural that he noticed. Right? Especially when it was Lee Donghwa. Donghwa, whom he trained with the longest. Donghwa, who entered the JYP building still significantly shorter than him, with the roundest pair of glasses on his bright, young face. Donghwa who, admittedly only to himself, Kyehoon often considered the reason he even managed to last so long in such a cutthroat company.
Out of everybody else, Kyehoon should know Lee Donghwa like the back of his hand. If only the younger boy wasn’t so painfully hard to understand.
Again? Kyehoon thought, entering his shared room with Donghwa to find that the latter was already in bed. All curled up with his frog design eyemask, sleeping peacefully. Normally, he wouldn’t even notice what happened after a long day of practice, but Kyehoon couldn’t help but feel nagging at the back of his head that something was wrong.
That night marked the fifth night in a row where Donghwa raced to bed. No midnight conversations, no quips about secretly ordering snacks, nothing. Not even a single attempt to roll into Kyehoon’s bed.
It was weird, but honestly, Donghwa has always been his own brand of weird, so Kyehoon let it go. He figured it was just the pre-debut jitters getting to his particularly perfectionist friend. They’ve been practicing extra hard now and as the main dancer, there was a lot more spotlight and pressure on Donghwa compared to the others. That, along with other content they’ve been shooting, felt like Kickflip couldn’t catch a break.
Still, Kyehoon couldn’t help but wonder as he heard a loud shout coming from the room next door — Keiju was likely still playing games and dragging Juwang into it; Amaru could deal with them for the night. Clearly, not everybody was knocked out tired. Kyehoon had been hoping he could catch Donghwa alone one of these days, discuss some things about their debut without the other members or staff nearby, and just… talk. Donghwa always had the most interesting things in his brain.
When Kyehoon woke up the next morning, Donghwa was already out of bed. He figured it was time to get things sorted out before it became a bigger issue. But was there even an issue?
Maybe this whole leader thing wasn’t so easy. Maybe it’s just because Donghwa’s involved.
“Hey,” Kyehoon said as he sat down with Minje, Juwang, and Donghyeon. The others were doing their half of the photo shoot, which meant Kyehoon had some time to see if the others were just as concerned for Donghwa as he’s been lately. He lowered his voice to avoid being overheard by the other staff around them, gaze serious as he continued, “Don’t you think Donghwa’s been acting weird lately?”
Across him, Juwang’s initially concerned gaze vanished into his trademark dry stare when he heard the topic, “Donghwa? How so?”
Kyehoon shrugged and began, “He hasn’t been as chatty—”
“Are you kidding me?”
Donghyeon interrupted with an incredulous stare, staring at Kyehoon like he had grown a second head or something. The idea of Lee Donghwa shutting up sounded so foreign to him, particularly as the youngest member that everybody bothered the most. Donghwa was the reason he had their group chat’s notifications muted. He shook his head and scoffed, “In our van earlier, he wouldn’t stop yapping about his two dogs. It’s like he’s allergic to dead air.”
That was true, to some extent. Kyehoon remembered the first time he met Donghwa and how he’d been immediately assaulted by a barrage of words, but the younger has since been calmer. Years of training with no real guarantee to debut did that to even the best of them, but even with growing up and being more mature in the mix, it wasn’t like Donghwa ever really lost that talkative side to him.
Once as trainees, when Donghwa was particularly quiet and Kyehoon decided to point it out, he was surprised by the soft laughter that left the other’s lips instead of his usual high-pitched chuckle.
“Maybe it’s because I’m relaxed around you, hyung,” Donghwa replied with a cheeky grin.
Huh. That particular memory only made Kyehoon feel worse about his current predicament, tuning out how Donghyeon recounted Donghwa’s van stories — he’d heard it all before, he was sure. He was also pretty sure the quiet surrounding him and Donghwa recently was an awkward silence at best. Then again, maybe it was just Kyehoon overthinking things. So, he tried again.
“Okay, well, he’s been jumpy. Right? Like he doesn’t want to be touched,” Kyehoon then said, remembering how Donghwa visibly flinched after a harmless tap on the shoulder just the other day. Usually, Donghwa was the one being all up his space with a hand on his shoulder or straight up hugging his arm. He even joked often that Donghwa lacked affection with how much he sought it out from other members. Surely he wasn’t just acting weird around Kyehoon.
“I think he’s just like that with you,” Minje was quick to respond, tilting his head to the side like a giant confused puppy. His large eyes were filled with sincere concern, “Did you do something, Kyehoon hyung?”
Did he do something? No, Kyehoon didn’t think he’d done anything differently this past week.
Juwang gave the older boy a side glance and hummed, “Yeah, Donghwa kept touching my leg during the shoot the other day and pushing me to do things.”
“And pinching Keiju’s cheek,” Donghyeon added, “And talking with Maru hyung about that new show they’re both watching.”
“Shit,” Kyehoon muttered under his breath, “Am I the problem?”
He tried to think back to what he might have done the past week, but Kyehoon was at a loss. Besides filming stuff for Kickflip’s upcoming debut, everything was a blur. Kyehoon was at least sure that the filming went well. Donghwa was his usual self during all of it; bright-eyed with just a hint of worry. But they were all nervous, so Kyehoon didn’t comment about it. Should he have commented about it? Was Donghwa waiting to be comforted?
By Lee Kyehoon of all people? He wasn’t exactly a comforting presence. At least, he certainly didn’t think so. But if Donghwa couldn’t approach him, given their many years of friendship, then who else?
“Even if you messed up somewhere, it’s not like Donghwa won’t get over it,” Juwang eventually said, nudging Kyehoon out of his thoughts. Coming from him, it sounded more legit, considering how they were both probably remembering the time Donghwa’s nerves got the best of him and caused him to lash out at Juwang. It was nothing a sincere apology and a warm meal didn’t fix in the end. Kyehoon was beginning to consider if he should ask Donghwa to eat with him.
His thoughts were interrupted by the sharp, high tone of Donghwa’s laughter filling the studio’s waiting room. Kyehoon turned to glance his way immediately, watching as Donghwa entered with the other members, and how the latter made a beeline for a spot next to Minje. Even if there was an empty chair next to Kyehoon. That shouldn’t have bothered the older boy so much, but it did. It really did, but he couldn’t do anything about it without a valid reason.
Even Kyehoon could tell his thoughts and feelings were becoming weirdly needy. Like he desperately wanted Donghwa’s attention. That wasn’t the case.
It wasn’t. Not at all. Nope.
“Kyehoon hyung,” Donghwa called out and made Kyehoon’s head snap up faster than the speed of light. Any other day and Donghwa would have called him out on that with a teasing look, the one he had whenever Kyehoon gave him attention. Except this time, he was busy playing with the sleeve of his sweater and not even looking at the other when he continued, “The studio director said it’s your turn.”
Kyehoon bit his tongue to refrain from commenting out loud, nodded, and left for his shoot.
He was going to get to the bottom of it, one way or another.
It helped that they were roommates. Purely by chance, too. The group played a random draw game and Donghwa picked the stick with Kyehoon’s name, cheering loudly about how it was fate for them to end up together even in the official dorms, and didn’t let up until Kyehoon agreed. Bet he didn’t think the arrangement was going to bite him in the ass one day. Kyehoon wasn’t going to let another day go by without discussing things.
“Donghwa,” Kyehoon greeted when Donghwa entered the room that night; a change from how Kyehoon usually entered second.
“Ah, hyung, did you want to shower first this time?” Donghwa was quick to reply. His wide eyes made it hard to hide how shifty his pupils were, darting here and there in their shared room. It was a bad habit of his. His nerves always showed in the way his eyes couldn’t just focus on one spot, as if Donghwa was always seeking some sort of comfort or guidance from others around him. As if he was afraid of messing up. What reason did he have to look like that in front of Kyehoon, though?
Steeling himself, Kyehoon said, “Donghwa, we need to talk.”
“Do we?” Donghwa replied awkwardly as he shifted around to his side of the room and weakly joked, “I thought I talked too much.”
“Have I ever said that?” Kyehoon shot back, already getting irritated by the other’s evasive behaviour. Wrong move, his brain supplied instantly. He was supposed to be making Donghwa feel comfortable enough to open up to him about his problems, damn it. But it was true. He’s never complained about Donghwa and his need to discuss everything and anything, all the time. The way Donghwa said it rubbed him the wrong way.
Donghwa tongued his cheek before he muttered in an even lower tone, “No. Guess not.”
Crossing the room in long, sure strides, Kyehoon sighed and tried to sound nicer, “Come on, just talk to me. Did I do something? Did I say something? You know it’s obvious you’re avoiding me, right?”
“I’m not avoiding you,” Donghwa replied, voice strained. He stood frozen in place when Kyehoon approached, which would have been a funny sight to see considering the height difference between them; Kyehoon glaring up at him, Donghwa with his wide eyes looking like a deer caught in the headlights, and the air around them tense. They hadn’t fought since their early trainee days, both still immature and headstrong, so like hell they were going to fight again now.
“Can you at least give me a hint? I’m grasping at straws here trying to figure out what happened,” Kyehoon groaned, arms crossed against his chest as he stared at Donghwa. He took in the other’s frazzled expression and pink cheeks. Pink cheeks? Kyehoon tilted his head and blinked, narrowing his sharp eyes, “Hey, are you unwell or something? Is that what you’ve been hiding from me?”
“Nothing happened,” Donghwa replied, swallowing dryly, “And I’m not sick.”
“Then what’s up? You’re acting differently and—”
“ You’re the one acting differently!” Donghwa blurted out before Kyehoon could get another word in. He took a deep breath and suddenly the words were flying out of his mouth in typical Donghwa fashion, too quick to be understood by anybody who didn’t spend at least a few years in his presence. Luckily, Kyehoon was an expert. Unfortunately, even he couldn’t quite believe what he was hearing as Donghwa continued to animatedly complain about something.
“Suddenly mentioning I climb into your bed at night, trying to kiss me with the cameras rolling — you never did any of that before!” Donghwa groaned, scratching the back of his neck as he spoke and avoided Kyehoon’s gaze, staring at the wall behind the other’s head instead. His lower lip jutted out as he spoke, as if he was trying hard not to pout but ended up pouting anyway, “It’s… you’re… ugh, you’re confusing me. That’s the problem here.”
Kyehoon stared, speechless for a long moment. It’s true, he supposed. With the cameras rolling, he defaulted to joking around to relieve his nerves, and it just came more naturally for him to be that way with Donghwa. It wasn’t like Donghwa ever said anything, not like Donghyeon who would give him a well-worded complaint whenever Kyehoon tried to do too much. He tried to recall the events that the younger boy mentioned.
He was just playing around. Teasing. It’s not like any of the things he said were serious.
Compared to his teasing though, the flush on Donghwa’s cheeks was definitely real.
“Confusing you?” Kyehoon eventually managed to ask, unsure how to continue the conversation now that it was out in the open.
Donghwa gritted his teeth and began to chew on his bottom lip, muttering, “You have got to be kidding me.”
“Donghwa, I’m trying to talk to you here,” Kyehoon shot back with a frustrated groan of his own. He didn’t have time to deal with whatever mood Donghwa was in, not when he was making progress with fixing the rift between them. Not that they had a rift. It wasn’t a rift, right? They weren’t fighting. It was a petty argument at best, they’d kiss and make up and everything would be fine the next day. As soon as they got over the current topic.
Kiss and make up…
No, Kyehoon thought to himself, not right now.
Not now, then when? The thought of that made its way quickly into Kyehoon’s brain and suddenly he was filled with the thought of kissing Donghwa. It would make the younger shut up quickly. It would get rid of that pout on his lips and the way he was biting his lower lip red and raw. Except Kyehoon didn’t understand where that train of thought suddenly came from. Nor did he even realize that it’s been on the back of his mind for a while now, just… manifesting itself during the worst times, like during filming.
Maybe Donghwa’s irritation was warranted. Kyehoon still didn’t fully understand it, though.
“Forget it, hyung,” Donghwa groaned, running a hand through his hair and grumbling under his breath, “It’s not like I’m not used to it by now. You’re so dense, it kills me sometimes.”
“Hey, what’s that supposed to mean?” Kyehoon asked with a frown.
“Do you remember my gift to you? That one birthday of yours, when I came from a trip with my family to Japan,” Donghwa asked instead in lieu of an answer. His fidgety gaze from earlier was gone, at least, as he managed to finally stare Kyehoon down. That was supposed to be a good thing, but Kyehoon was suddenly regretting the whole confrontational thing he started. It wasn’t like he could actually win against Donghwa and his stern gaze, not in a situation like this.
So, Kyehoon nodded slowly and recalled, “The figure from Disneyland. Cinderella?”
Donghwa nodded, looking impatient as if he was waiting for Kyehoon to connect the dots.
“What was on the card I gave you?” He followed up, chewing the inside of his mouth.
“Am I supposed to remember? That was almost three years ago!” Kyehoon complained, only to inwardly wince when he realized his words made Donghwa look even sulkier than before. God, he hated it when Donghwa looked like that. Kyehoon’s never been good at it, not even with the other members, but it made his heart clench and squeeze a little tighter when it was Donghwa giving him such a kicked puppy look. He sighed and tried to remember the stupid card from his birthday three whole years ago.
Something to do with Donghwa making that pun about his name meaning fairytale again. Prince, Cinderella, happily ever after? Kyehoon frowned at the thought as it came back to him. If he could be a prince in a fairytale, then he wanted Kyehoon to be his Cinderella, so they could live happily ever after. Right, that was it. Kyehoon remembered because he had laughed at the card, called it a good pun or something despite his confusion over the gift, and then that was it.
Donghwa stared at him like he was stupid. Okay, so, that wasn’t it.
“Hyung, do you remember what else I wrote?” Donghwa asked, exasperated, but his cheeks were a pretty pink colour that distracted Kyehoon all over again.
“Uh, you wrote happy birthday and I love you,” Kyehoon recalled, blinking away his thoughts about kissing Donghwa’s pout away again or his desire to see more of the blush on the younger’s cheeks.
“And you laughed at me,” Donghwa all but hissed, eyes narrowed in irritation, but he looked more like a disgruntled frog in Kyehoon’s eyes. He then pointed an accusing finger at Kyehoon and continued, “I confessed to you and all you did was laugh at me! And now you’re giving me all these mixed signals and being flirty on camera where I can’t do anything to refute you. It isn’t fair, Kyehoon hyung.”
Kyehoon felt his head spinning. He held up one hand to stop the other from talking and said, “Woah, wait, back up. Let’s rewind and pause. You confessed to me?”
“Three years ago,” Donghwa deadpanned.
“And… I’ve been flirting with you,” Kyehoon repeated slowly. Was that considered flirting? He joked around with the others, too. Granted, probably not as much as Donghwa. None of them reacted quite as satisfyingly as Donghwa did, with his wide eyes and high-pitched voice every time he protested. It was cute. Kyehoon was beginning to realize he found a lot of things about Donghwa cute. It was partially why he’d been bothering Donghwa in bed at night, contrary to what he told others.
“No, I suppose you were just joking around,” Donghwa spat out bitterly, puffing his cheeks and moving the air from one side to another before he exhaled loudly, “Typical. Not like you like me back.”
“Who says I don’t?” Kyehoon shot back with a frown of his own; he didn’t like it when Donghwa spoke about his feelings like that, as if he was so sure of them when even Kyehoon himself wasn’t sure. He was getting there, though. His mind was beginning to think back to all the moments his heart felt a little lighter around Donghwa, the sheer joy he felt when it was confirmed that they’d debut together, and the lingering voice at the back of his head that hated it when Donghwa was distant.
His words made Donghwa freeze, eyes wide and mouth set in a thin line.
“Don’t,” Donghwa began quietly, “Don’t joke like that, hyung.”
“Can’t we navigate this together?” Kyehoon eventually asked, his heart thumping nervously in his chest for the first time that night. The realization that he was discussing feelings with Lee Donghwa made him feel like throwing up a bit, but that would be totally lame, and Donghwa would never let him live if he threw up in their bedroom. He was supposed to be the cool, composed leader of Kickflip. Occasionally bullied by his own members here and there, but cool nonetheless.
Taking a deep breath, he tried again, “I’m not just joking around, Donghwa.”
“So, you’re saying whenever you jokingly try and kiss me, it’s for real?” Donghwa challenged, brows raised as if daring Kyehoon to try and agree. His pupils were shaky again — expecting the worst.
“I guess so,” Kyehoon said lamely, but it wasn’t a hard no. It was anything but a hard no. Somehow, the thought of kissing Donghwa wasn’t something that immediately made him want to gag. He also really liked the way Donghwa looked tonguetied, for once, his usual confidence faltering in the face of their current discussion. He always had something to say. Kyehoon slowly took a step forward and grinned when Donghwa’s eyes widened.
“Wanna try it out?” Kyehoon asked, tone playful even with how blood rushed to his face and pounded in his ears.
“No,” Donghwa answered without missing a beat, only to backtrack and huff, “I mean, yes, obviously. But not right now.”
Kyehoon frowned, “Why not right now?”
“You’re still confused,” Donghwa reasoned out, eyes darting to the side for a split second. His hands fidgeted awkwardly at his sides, grasping at his sleeves, his jeans, and anything he could pick with his nails. Kyehoon wanted to reach out and stop the movement, but he was so sure if the younger would let him, given everything that just happened. He couldn’t blame Donghwa if the latter was nervous about the whole thing.
“So, we can kiss if I stop being confused?” Kyehoon brought up patiently.
Donghwa fell silent for a beat before his cheeks flushed and he muttered, “I mean, I guess. Whatever.”
“Okay,” Kyehoon agreed easily, holding his hand out to ask for a handshake, “Got it.”
His serious demeanour made Donghwa crack a smile, knowing Kyehoon was just acting. Donghwa took the offered hand and shook it, only to yelp in surprise when he was pulled downwards.
With a triumphant grin, Kyehoon took the opportunity to peck Donghwa’s cheek. Despite his tendency to joke around, he knew actually kissing Donghwa on the lips wasn’t something he should be taking lightly. But surely a peck on the cheek or two or three could be forgiven right? He was laughing even when Donghwa shoved him off weakly, stumbling backwards with his hands up in a placating gesture. At least the tension in the air dissipated somewhat.
Also, Donghwa was smiling, even as he pretended to look annoyed. The wide smile on his face made Kyehoon relax, glad he could see the smile he loved so much back after days of being met with just awkward grins. A smile he loved so much… yeah, he’ll keep that thought of his in his head, for now. There was a mischievous glint in Donghwa’s eyes, too — one that spoke of trouble up ahead, but the good kind. Like he was already plotting revenge.
“I’ll get that kiss eventually,” Kyehoon said, grinning wickedly.
—
(“I’ll choose Kyehoon hyung,” Donghwa answered innocently, with almost no hesitation.
“Would you let me have the honour of kissing you first?” Kyehoon was quick to respond amidst the chaos in the room, enjoying the way Donghwa began to panic despite how he dug the hole himself with his own decision, “Or we could kiss on the lips!”)
—
(Donghwa shook his head and announced to everyone, "We didn't kiss."
"But we did, though?" Kyehoon teased, already aware he'd get an earful of Donghwa explaining it didn't count as a real kiss back when they were in their room.)