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The aisle in front of him seemed to span on for miles, a confusing mess of pinks, purples, and greens. Unfamiliar words like topsheet, ph balanced, and ultrasupermegaplus stared back at him as his eyes roved the shelves. Mylo ran a hand anxiously through his hair, messing up the slicked back strands. He held his phone in one hand, shooting off text message after text message.
Neither Vi nor Powder responded, and when he called his girlfriend there was no answer either. The three of them had ”synched up” from living together, however that happened. All he knew is that they were all on their period, and if he brought back the wrong thing he might as well sleep outside.
The longer he stood there, the more anxious he got. He tried to google what would work best for young adult woman, but whatever he typed in must have been way off point from what he meant. Women walking past him gave him second glances, faces unreadable as he visibly panicked over “ultra size with cardboard applicator” and “overnight pantyliners”. Maybe he should’ve paid more attention to Claggor when he talked about getting supplies for the girls. His trip out of town right before their cycles couldn’t be a coincidence either.
A man with a vest and nametag was coming at him from down the aisle, making heavy eye contact. The be-line he was doing did not seem friendly, and in a panic, Mylo grabbed the first thing he could and booked it out of there. Back at home, his girlfriend and sisters were all curled up in the living room in front of the tv.
None of their phones were in sight, which irritated Mylo to no end. Their eyes were glued to the tv that was playing some cartoon with sad music over it. When he entered the house with the goods in his arms, they all turned towards him expectantly.
“What the hell are those?” Powder’s slightly nasaly voice asked, eyes narrowed dangerously.
Mylo thrust out the green package, trying to get one of the girls to take it from him. “You didn’t tell me what I was supposed to be looking for, so I just got this.”
“My, how stupid are you?” Vi asked, her shock turning into annoyance as she rubbed at her temple. “That’s not anywhere close to what we asked for.”
“None of you were answering me back! Old ladies were starting to stare at me!” He defended, insulted and unhappy that none of them had helped him earlier.
“You should have asked one of them then.” His girlfriend said, pulling the fuzzy blanket up to her chin.
“Babe!” Mylo tried to reason, opening his arms wide. “Old ladies don’t even get periods. How are they supposed to help me?”
“Because they weren’t always old ladies, rocks-for-brains!” Powder stood and shouted, finally catching sight of what her brother had brought back. Mylo turned to glare at her.
“They at least would have had the sense to tell you not to bring back DIAPERS for your sister’s period. Take them back!”
“You kept the receipt, right?” His girlfriend asked, frowning.
“What receipt?”
“Um… the receipt they give you when you check out?”
“Oh, I didn’t check out.”
“Great, now we’re stuck with stolen diapers!” Powder yelled, throwing herself down onto the couch next to her friend.
“They’re adult diapers!” Mylo defended, jabbing a finger at the description. “And they’re super absorbent! They should totally work.”
“Go back.” Vi demanded, crossing her arms over her chest.
“I’m not going back to the place I just stole from.”
“Then go somewhere else!” His sister said, losing her patience and standing up from her armchair. She grabbed the adult diapers from out of his hands and chucked them to the ground, shoving him roughly towards the door. “And don’t come back until you have the right ones!”
Mylo stood staring at the wood of the front door after it shut in his face, mumbling weakly. “But you still didn’t tell me what kind I’m supposed to get…”