Archive of Our Own

The Shibuya-bashi footbridge was surprisingly quiet today as if reflecting the sombre mood of the boy leaning against it. His hair was a long black curtain on one side of his face, the other side uncovered thanks to a strand tucked behind his ear. 

When you spotted him, your breath hitched. His new jacket caught your eye, being a new addition to your best friend’s outfit, a white jacket with a headless angel on the back - the Valhalla uniform. His dark hair contrasted with the white of the jacket, and seeing him wear it felt… unnatural.

You walked towards him in casual clothes, not wanting to stir any tensions between the gangs, and you hadn’t even reached him when he spoke in a voice low enough that he couldn’t be overheard, but loud enough that you could understand him clearly.

“You can’t change my mind, I’m not coming back.”

You stopped a few feet from him, leaning against the same fence and looking over the traffic underneath the footbridge.

“I know.”

You just wished he would tell you what was going on. It was clear that he wasn’t honest about it, that he hadn’t left Toman for some bullshit reason like he had said. However, you weren’t going to push him like Chifuyu had asked you to. You trusted his plans, trusted that he knew what he was doing, even if you desperately wanted to be included, be by his side like the old times.

“You’re not going to ask me why I left?” He spoke bluntly, with a little trace of surprise in his voice, but his gaze stayed on the moving traffic below. There was hardly anyone on the bridge but you two, just a few people rushing to and from work, nobody paying you any mind.

You looked down at the traffic, picking out cars that honked at others to focus on something other than your heart beating so loudly. You shook your head to answer his question, knowing he could still see you in his peripheral vision since he didn’t turn his head to face you.

Baji let out a long exhale, he could tell you weren’t there to pester him to spill everything. He knew you well enough to know that he could share his pain, you had shared everything before. Even through his stupid decisions, dumb and rash moves, you had always been by his side, either pulling him out of his mess or ending up in it with him.

“Then why are you here?” he continued in a low voice, still not tearing his gaze away from the cars below.

“Wanted to see you.” Your voice was equally as low, impacted by the immense emotions fighting inside you. Sighing, you didn’t look over at him. Your thoughts were with the moving people under the bridge, with the passage of time, and the ever-changing nature of everything in this world. 

He gripped the fence of the bridge a little tighter. Despite knowing you wouldn’t be here to question and push him, he didn’t expect such an answer. I wanted to see you. Of course.

“Did you come here alone?” He spoke up after a few moments of processing your words. Finally, he looked up from the traffic and turned his head in your direction. You saw his movement from the corner of your eye and followed suit, facing him while still leaning on your palms, gripping the fence.

A simple nod answered his question. You couldn’t have known if he’d be alone or with someone, not yet sure how much Valhalla trusted him. But you were out of the Toman uniform, wearing casual shorts and a T-shirt, not a single sign of being a gang member on your clothes.

“Chifuyu is doing alright, by the way. The bruises on his face are fading.” You spoke a little more softly. He had done a number on Chifuyu to prove that his ties with Toman had been cut, but Chifuyu didn’t hold a grudge against him. He believed that Baji had a plan he simply wasn’t sharing with anyone. Baji furrowed his brows in guilt and shame, feeling awful for having to leave Toman.

“That’s… good to know.” He mumbled slightly, his voice carried a tone of relief despite the turmoil he felt inside. A flock of birds flew overhead and you lifted your head to follow their movements, the breeze from their wings lifting Baji’s and your hair, rustling it before it settled down again.

“Missed you at game night last night.” You didn’t say it to make him feel bad, though you knew inevitably it would. You needed him to know you missed him being there. You missed him being your friend, not just your division’s captain. A random person shuffled past you while talking on the phone hurriedly, getting out of earshot before Baji replied.

“I know… I miss game nights too.”

“Not the same without my Pictionary partner.”

You slid ever so slightly closer to him along the fence, bending your knee and resting it against the railing, making your stance look almost casual. “I hope you know what you’re doing, Baji.” You continued in an almost sad tone, unable to let him go on without letting him know, in your own subtle way, how much you were all worried about him, how much everyone… how much you missed him.

He let out a chuckle, but his instant grin was quickly replaced with a serious expression when you spoke. He knew better than to think you would guilt him into leaving Valhalla, you’d spent many years by each other’s side and he knew manipulation simply wasn’t your style.

“I know what I’m doing, alright?” He assured you, and maybe even tried to convince himself as well.

“Is anyone from Valhalla around?” Your question made Baji quickly look around to make sure nobody was lurking.
“No, I came here alone.” He was still glancing around to make sure that, despite his lone outing to the footbridge, nobody had decided to check on him. 

“You’re staying safe?” You slid a little closer again, now standing within whispering distance from him. 

He looked over at you briefly and let out a sigh at the question. He knew you were just worried, checking on him to make sure he was alright. He nodded slightly and closed his eyes. 
“As safe as I can be,” he whispered, keeping his voice low and quiet, “but I can handle myself, you don’t need to worry about me.”

“I know.” Your response was immediate, though you didn’t know why he still bothered to tell you not to worry as if you hadn’t done this dance a million times before. “I know you can.” 

You slowly reached out to touch his face tenderly, brushing his cheek with your thumb. Your eyes focused on the shadows under his eyes, more prominent now than before leaving Toman. 
Baji closed his eyes for a moment, his breathing slowed and he leaned into your hand, as if this gentle touch was exactly what he was craving.

“Then why do you still worry so goddamn much?” He quietly mumbled against your palm, opening his eyes and finally looking right at you. Sliding a little closer still, you looked up at him with a solemn expression, taking in the relaxed expression that clashed with his stressed-out demeanor.

“I can’t stop.” It was an honest answer, but one he either wasn’t ready to hear, or didn’t know how to act upon hearing.

“Damn, you’re such a pain.” His voice carried no annoyance, only affection despite the harsh words.

You softly chuckled before getting up on your tip-toes to get closer to his face. Your soft lips ghosted over his, barely touching at all before you got back down, pulled your hand away from his face and jokingly punched him in the shoulder for calling you a pain. You nearly gave in when his breath hitched in anticipation, but it wasn’t the time.
He let out a fake grunt in pain when your closed fist collided with his shoulder, rubbing the area softly. 

“That hurts, you know…” He mumbled, faking a hurt tone. Quickly, he switched to a grin and punched you back, albeit incredibly lightly, on the shoulder.

“No, it doesn’t.” You rolled your eyes replying, slightly smirking and letting the playfulness into your tone, making Baji’s grin widen. 

“I think you bruised me.” He said through a light chuckle, rubbing his shoulder dramatically with a look of fake pain. Now, you didn't mean to feel it, but the light banter in his words kicked the air out of your lungs. It seemed so… normal, but at the same time, it obviously wasn't. Nothing about this was normal. Your jaw clenched at the light-hearted tone that he had used just like nothing had changed, though everything was different.

“I think you deserved it.” Your voice came out as a little whisper while a few tears pricked your eyes, threatening to spill and make this into a bigger deal than it was.

Of course, he picked up the sudden change in your voice, the front you had put up, the pretense that everything was fine. That your heart wasn't breaking.

His face changed into an expression of guilt. Despite believing what he was doing was necessary and right, there was a part of his life that was going to be affected regardless. And the last thing he wanted to do was hurt you, it was clear in his voice when he finally mumbled quietly.

“I suppose I did.”

You looked down at your feet before managing to meet his gaze again.

“You know I'm always on your side, right? And so is your entire division.”

His eyes followed your gaze, meeting your eyes after looking down, as if in shame.  Baji knew you weren't trying to make him feel guilty, only to reassure him and remind him that no matter what, you'd still support him.

“Yeah… I know.” He replied after nodding slightly, letting out a long sigh.

“Then do what you need to do,” you reached up to softly touch a strand of his hair and then his cheek, “but don't hesitate to ask me for help if you need it. And come back to us afterwards… come back… to me .”

You felt his movement, leaning into the touch on his face while closing his eyes, savoring the moment of tender intimacy between you two, one that you both needed.

Both of you knew he couldn't ask for help right now, he couldn't ask the rest of his Toman division. He had to do it alone. But… hearing your words made him feel a little less alone . When he opened his eyes again, his expression was softer.

“I will. I… promise.” After hearing his words you quickly wiped a tear from the corner of your eye before it could roll off your cheek. Returning your hand into the pocket of your shorts, you forced your body into a relaxed stance and pushed yourself off the fence.

“You better. I'll be waiting.”

With that, you turn to leave, walking away with feigned nonchalance. Baji watched as you walked, noticing the slight tension in your shoulders while you did your best to act casual and not look back. His hands itched to reach out to you, call out and pull you back, but he didn’t act on it. He stayed still. He watched your figure get smaller and smaller until he couldn’t see you anymore, keeping his voice as low as possible as he whispered your name.

The next few days seemed never ending. Though Baji was being kept busy with Valhalla business, his mind often wandered, sometimes to that day on the footbridge, sometimes reminiscing about the good old days with Toman.
Most of his nostalgia-induced daydreams ended up being about game nights with you, nightly conversations with you, bike rides with… you . The way you had held his face in your gentle hands that day at the bridge was driving him insane with overthinking. There was certainly a pattern there…
Finally, there was hope for a day off, no bullshit tasks within Valhalla, Baji was free to do whatever he wanted. And what he wanted… was to check something.

He started walking in the direction of your house, almost in reflex to overthinking and struggling. Clearly, his mind wouldn’t shut up about how he had left things at the bridge, he tried to rationalize his thoughts, but to no avail. Just go, check on her, make sure she’s alright.

So he found himself across the clearing from your window.

Baji felt a hit of nostalgia as he remembered all the times he would sneak through that same window on the first floor just to chat the night away, wiping away your salty tears and talking your ear off about something random just to make you smile again.

He walked through the clearing, stopping just several feet away from the window, observing your seemingly relaxed state as you sat on the windowsill and let your damp hair dry. He suddenly felt the extent of how much he had missed you. Your game nights, your laughs, your movie marathons…

As you sat on the windowsill of your bedroom, you tried distracting yourself from thinking about Baji. The book you had picked up to try and read was lying on the floor, face-down, long forgotten. Your mind was switching from one memory to another, reminiscing the days when you’d message Baji if you got into a fight with your parents or had a generally shitty day and he’d immediately come over, spending the night sitting on this very same windowsill and talking until the sun came up, getting no sleep, but giggling deep into the night.

Reminiscing the days when he would invite you over to his place, when his mom would ask you to make him do things he had been too lazy to do (“why the hell would i clean my room when it’s gonna get messy again anyway?”) or beg you to make him study for tests and do projects due the following week. It had always been a losing battle, but you could appreciate the fact that she thought you had any sway in his head.

Snapping out of your daydreaming and looking down to where he stood, at first you thought you imagined him standing there, but he had his signature grin on, there was no way your mind could replicate that so perfectly.

You opened the window fully, poking your head out.

“O Romeo, Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo?” You recited in an overdramatic tone, sporting a smirk in amusement despite the circumstances.

Baji chuckled when he recognized the reference, shaking his head slightly while preparing to climb up to the window like before. He sat down on the windowsill, looking at you and returning your smirk.

“I suppose that makes you Juliet then?” His tone made your sly smirk turn into a smile.

“I suppose so.” You replied almost instantly, missing the easy banter you once kept constantly.

“What, not very happy to have Romeo here?” He teased when you didn’t run into his arms like you would before. You eyed the Valhalla jacket that he wore, your heart clenching at the sight of it worn so casually, so… openly .

Your smile slightly faltered as you sat together, the tragic comparison with the fictional characters suddenly glaringly obvious and fucking sad.

“You do remember how they ended up, right?” Your point hit home, but he waved it off. Baji clearly didn’t want to think about the story, instead finding slight amusement in the way he, once again, climbed through the window like some kind of hero, saving the damsel in distress. 

“Yeah, yeah, I know. Don’t ruin it.” He said with a lighthearted scoff.

“If I remember correctly,” you started with a light smirk again, “when we covered that play in school, your words were something along the lines of… ‘ well maybe they should have communicated better and not been idiots ’.”

He let out a genuine laugh, the nostalgia about the school days bringing out the humor of his words.

“Yeah, that was it. And I stand by it, they were idiots.”

“So have you come here to communicate , Baji?” You pulled your leg up on the windowsill, folding it under yourself at the same time that he leaned his head back against the wall as you faced each other.

“I have… I think.”

Baji’s fingers seemed to twitch, as if itching to touch you as he folded them on his knees in an attempt to appear casual. He paused for a moment, savoring the silence that had settled between you, though he had questions on the tip of his tongue, all of them scrambling over each other to be let out first. Instead of asking how you were doing, if you were alright, how things were… he was just silent, paralyzed.

“You been okay?” You broke the silence in a soft voice for him.

His eyes betrayed the look of relief that you had spoken first, alleviating his stress of having to initiate. Despite that, his brown eyes reflected sadness. Guilt that he hadn't reached out first. I should've asked her first, I was the one who left.

“Yeah, I'm… I'm fine.” There was an unsaid as fine as I can be in his response. 

“Kept busy?” You smiled as you asked, relieved that at least he wasn’t… hurt physically. As far as you could see.

“Yeah, that's an understatement.” He chuckled through the reply, a humorless noise, an attempt at lessening the severity of the circumstances.

In truth, he had been busy most of the week, mostly because Valhalla was trying to use him for anything they could. It wasn't every day you got a highly capable first division captain of a rival gang to join you, they would've been stupid not to use the situation.

“I'm not gonna ask more about it, I know you can't tell me…” You followed up quickly, making sure he knew that you still didn't expect him to divulge his plans, that you understood his need for secrecy.

Baji nodded, a part of him wanted to confide in you… needed the comfort of another person, his best friend, telling him it would be okay and he was right to make those choices. He quickly changed his tone to a more light-hearted one, nudging you with his foot.

“I would tell you if I could, you know that.”

“I know.” You responded in a soft voice before looking down to where he nudged you as you played with a strand of your damp hair. “How’s your mom? And Peke J?”

His lips curled into a little smile, it had been a while since he talked about his mom and the cat.

“They're both doing fine. They're good,” he paused a little before adding, as if contemplating whether or not to say anything more, “my mom says she misses you.”

You smiled through the pang of guilt, though it wasn't exactly your fault that you hadn't visited.

“I miss her too, miss Peke J’s loud ass meowing as well.” You missed spending time at his place, sneaking into his bedroom, playing with Peke J and giving him catnip stuffed toys while his mom made you coffee and sandwiches. It was sometimes eerie how similar his mom and he looked, but it was heartwarming to see he was Ryoko’s son through and through.

He, too, remembered the good times at his place, you two, his mom, and the cat. Some of his favorite moments. 

“Yeah, he's as noisy as ever, I swear he's yelling louder every damn day.”

“I wouldn't be surprised, actually. He's probably part hyena or something.”

Your heart soared when Baji snorted with laughter, the closest it came to the way things had been before. 

“I'd believe that. Little bastard wakes me up every morning with his yowls.” With a brush of his hand through his long hair, he sighed.

It became so easy laughing again, sitting on the windowsill with him, your legs touching as you escape reality for a while.

“Can you please take that off?” You pointed at his Valhalla jacket, the only visual reminder of the harsh reality, the only thing that ruined your daydreaming of simpler times.

Baji tried to keep things light-hearted for a bit longer, playfully scoffing and raising his eyebrow at the request though in his eyes it was evident he noticed your somewhat sad tone.

“You want me to strip for you, is that it?” There was no other way he could have expected you to react apart from a roll of your eyes and a click of your tongue.

“Don't want a Valhalla member in my bedroom… just want to see my Baji…”

My Baji.

The words made his chest feel a little tighter and his heart started hammering. He didn't want to be just a Valhalla member to you, didn't want to be anyone else other than… your Baji.
He took a deep breath and slid the jacket off his shoulders, unceremoniously dropping it on the bedroom floor.
Once the jacket came off, he was back to being a regular guy, clad in a regular t-shirt and regular jeans, the thing you liked seeing him wear the most, other than his Toman uniform.

“Thank you, Kei.” You didn't use his first name too often as most of your other friends just called him Baji, but sometimes… when the mood was just right, when he was more than just Baji , he was Keisuke . Kei . Now he was finally your Keisuke again. 

No gang, no defection, no bullshit.

It didn't seem like he understood what a big deal it was for you, seeing him like that with an aura of normalcy instead of wearing that damn thing until you called him by his first name again, reminding him of the connection you’d always had. Baji shifted slightly, his foot sliding a little closer to yours, touching the side of your ankle. He was silent for a moment, as if reminding himself that he was still him.

“I'm still the same person.”

“I know,” you leaned forward, reaching up to his face and cupping his cheek gently, just like you had done at the footbridge, “just don't need to see that damn symbol.”

Your touch was so gentle and careful, as if holding something precious in your hands, it made him instinctively lean into your palm again, closing his eyes and letting out a soft sigh. He finally seemed to understand that seeing him in that jacket reminded you of the stupid goddamn situation you were in, of the fact that he shouldn't have even come here.

“I never wanted it to be like this.” He admitted quietly.

“I know, I get it,” your thumb just slightly brushed against his cheek, “that's why I'm not asking you to tell me your plans… or to include me, though I really want you to. I trust you.”

His throat tensed as he swallowed thickly at your words. 

“You shouldn't trust me so easily.”

“Think it was easy?” You let out a surprised laugh, short and sweet.

He lifted one black eyebrow in surprise, taken aback at the reply, as if he expected you to tell him you’d always trust him, that it was easy because it was him . 

“You sayin’ it’s not easy trusting me?” Curiosity got the better of him.

“I’m saying,” you pinch his cheek lightly for a brief moment, “that it wasn’t easy to get to know you back then. But once I knew you… really knew you, I knew I could trust you.”

He hummed softly before nodding, remembering how he kept away from most people at school, not really taking to friendships easily. But once you’d got through to him and befriended him, you became inseparable.
His body leaned in once again, resting against your warm palm in a subconscious search for comfort.

“Guess you’re just too stubborn, huh?” He teased.

A slight breeze through the open window ruffled over you as you sat facing him, crossing your legs over his on the windowsill.

“Good thing you love me stubborn.”

His hands rested on your thighs, a small smile gracing his face as he marveled at how soft your skin was and how warm it felt under his palms. It felt good being close to you like this again, even if only for a little while, even if it could hurt even more once the moment was done and back to being in Valhalla, having no ties to Toman, no ties to you. For now, he was just relishing the moment, and in the moment he let out a half-playful, half-serious scoff.

“Hmph, more like unfortunate.”

“Oh yeah, very unfortunate to have someone by your side whatever the weather, right? Poor you.” You chuckled, tempted to smack his cheek.

“Oh absolutely, it’s truly a struggle living with the burden of your unwavering support and loyalty.” Baji grinned and patted your thigh playfully, finally relaxing fully in the familiar banter, this is how it’s supposed to be.

“And yet you always come back for more… masochist.” You retorted, soaking up all the smiles on his face, the way his lips curled and showed the sharp points of his teeth was so familiar, so cheekily and deeply him . It was obvious he was enjoying the lightheartedness of the moment, a brief respite from the weight put on his shoulders since joining Valhalla.

“Oh you have no idea. Nothing gets me off more than being around your stubborn ass.” His hand squeezed the flesh of your thigh gently, in a slow motion, as if reminding you (and himself) that he was still here, and this was real. You rested your forehead against his shoulder, sliding your body closer to him.

“Knew it, you can’t keep away from my stubborn ass.”

Baji smiled. You lifted your gaze to catch his eyes, skin crinkled around them as it always did whenever he let himself show a big grin, his sharp canines on full display. 

Oh, how you loved it when he smiled. 

The sight of it made your face soften even more, as if caught off guard by such a sincere reaction, as simple as a smile . 

He didn’t want to ruin the moment, so he turned his head to the side to look at you better. He held your gaze, drinking in your closeness, the way you looked at him like he mattered. Like he had a place in this world. 

Oh, how he loved it when you looked at him like that.  

Both, suddenly and slowly at the same time, you lifted your head and stretched your neck to ghost your lips over his again, just like the other day on the bridge. They barely touched before you pulled back slightly, not even trusting yourself to take a breath before returning to a safe distance from his lips. 

Baji wanted to grab you, pull you closer, and kiss you until you were both gasping for air. He wanted to remember this moment, to store the memory of your touch in his mind. He didn’t act though, letting you pull back slightly before he spoke in a low voice.

“Unfair…”

Your voice comes out more strained than intended, as if struggling to find the strength to squeeze them through your teeth.
“ I will kiss thy lips.
Haply some poison yet doth hang on them
To make me die with a restorative ”
You barely made it through the last line before quickly, afraid you would chicken out, closing the distance between your lips and softly kissing him.

He kissed back almost immediately, almost like he was about to lean in and kiss you himself had you not acted first. His mind was clear of everything apart from you. All his focus was on this blissful moment, hanging in the balance between the outside and the inside, between past and future. Between you and him.

The kiss soon became more desperate, Baji couldn’t help himself, his lips took more, pulled sounds from your lips, swallowing them hungrily. He moved his hand from your thigh to cup the back of your neck, greedily pulling you even closer to him. Deepening the kiss, brushing his tongue against your lips, he sought to taste you.

Desperate for more contact, you shifted to settle on his lap, pressing yourself against him and placing your suddenly restless hands on the back of his neck, pulling him in even more, closer, never enough. You kissed him like he was an oasis in the middle of a desert, like you were dying of thirst and he was sweet nectar. 

Once the kiss was broken, you search his eyes for anything resembling regret, anything that could break your heart as it lay out in the open. Your quick-flitting eyes made you focus on his breathing, analyzing every molecule of the tension between you. 

If there was one thing he was sure of, it was this – Baji Keisuke could never regret kissing you.

“I missed you every day you weren’t here.” Your voice was raw and quiet, but the proximity made it unnecessary to speak any louder, the warmth in your voice was enough to make his heart ache. Baji’s hand gently cupped your cheek, thumb brushing against your skin before he responded in a soft voice.

“I missed you too. More than you know.”

They always said that learning stupid old dramas and literature was pointless. But you had a blueprint for a tragedy that you could avoid. You couldn’t bear to think of the similarities with tragic heroes. Star-crossed, doomed from the start. Instead, your heart thrummed with a different melody, rebellious, hell-bent on overcoming this bullshit, to hell with Valhalla and these grand schemes. You would fight and emerge victorious.

You kissed again, and again, lips gently meshing together in a slow dance, taking all the time you could steal from the universe, carving out a space and time for yourselves where you could exist in a bubble with no real-life consequences.

Baji’s eyes fluttered as your lips left his to continue their gentle affections across his jaw, down to where it met his neck. Your lips parted to press soft kisses and you let out little moans at the incredible feeling of finally having his sensitive skin under your lips like this. It was addicting.

It was nearly dangerous. He shouldn’t have even been here, but he was. Holding you in his lap, sitting on your windowsill with his hands resting on your ass, pressing you against his body that was going completely pliant as you traced your lips across his neck, down to his shoulder and back up to his jaw. That damn Valhalla jacket stayed forgotten on your bedroom floor, completely unwanted and irrelevant in this perfect moment, isolated from the rest of the world. 

And all he could think about was how to hold you even closer, closer, closer.