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Kagehira’s laugh filled the apartment, loud and full of happiness as he was telling a story to Shu. Listening and interjecting when Kagehira would pause, Shu was at the sink washing dishes from their dinner half an hour ago. Kagehira had offered to help but Shu refused, saying he could handle it himself, so Kagehira was still sitting at the table. Some classic music was drifting in the air from Shu’s phone, making for some pleasing background noise. The sun was setting, turning the sky outside a bright orange.
It had been a couple weeks since Kagehira had arrived in Paris and they had been inseparable ever since. They were making up for some much lost time. In a few weeks, Kagehira would go back to Japan and Shu was already dreading it. Every time Kagehira left him or he left Kagehira, the longing got worse. He wanted to see Kagehira every day, but the boy had rejected his offer of moving in together, so he had to settle for video calling and hopping from France to Paris. It still hurt him that Kagehira had rejected him, but Kagehira was human and free to make his own decisions after all.
The beginning melody of Clair de Lune started playing, and a smile appeared on Shu’s face. This had always been a favourite of his. He started humming along to the tune. He was reminded of their newest song, which featured a section from the composition. The stage for the live show they had done before Kagehira went to space had been grand. It had to be for a grand song, after all. Kagehira had been exceptionally grand as well. If he had truly been a space captain, Shu wouldn’t mind sailing the cosmos for all eternity with him by his side.
He placed the last of the dishes on the rack to dry and shut off the faucet. Drying his hands on a small kitchen towel, Shu turned, only to jump and drop said towel with a squeal. Right in front of him, Kagehira was kneeling, arm outstretched towards him, palm facing up. Kagehira giggled before saying, “That was a cute sound ya just made.”
Frowning, Shu crossed his arms over his chest. He could feel his face grow hot in embarrassment. “It’s your fault I made such an undignified sound. And what are you doing?“
“May I have this dance?”
Shu blinked. “What?”
“May I have this dance?” Kagehira repeated, lifting his hand higher. Shu shifted a little on his feet. Kagehira looked as if he was proposing. The thought made Shu’s face grow hotter.
“W-What brought this on?” Shu stuttered out.
With a smile so big, Kagehira responded. “Ngah, I just wanted ta dance with ya.” He picked up the dropped kitchen towel and offered it back to Shu. “It’s been a while since we last danced together. And I know ya like this song a lot so I thought why not dance to it?”
Shu relaxed but still had his arms crossed over his chest. It had been a while since they last danced. Being long distance didn’t allow them to have much time together physically. Nowadays, Shu only travelled back to Japan when he had work.
Sighing, Shu uncrossed his arms. “I guess I can indulge you this one time.” he said, taking the towel from Kagehira’s hands.
“Yay!” Kagehira threw his arms in the air. He lowered them, a smirk spreading across his face. “One time?” he asked, leaning forward. “I’d say you’ve been indulgin’ me a lot more than one time.” He looked like a rather mischievous cat, all he was missing was the slow flick of a tail.
“Hmph.” Shu turned away, his face feeling hot once again. He shook out the towel, not because of embarrassment but because it would help the towel dry faster. After shaking it out, he hung the towel over the handle of the oven. He turned to see Kagehira still kneeling on the floor. “Well?” he demanded. “Are we going to dance or what?”
The mischievous look disappeared to be replaced by a flustered one. Kagehira stood up quickly and grimaced in pain. “Ow.” he mumbled, stumbling over to where Shu was.
“That’s because you were kneeling for too long.” Shu admonished.
“I thought ya were going to come back to me and then I would grab yer hand and kiss it.” Kagehira pouted.
Kagehira playing the role of the dashing prince asking for a dance from the elegant princess. That would have been romantic. “Oh.” he said, after a moment of silence. Shu mentally kicked himself for ruining it.
“Don’t feel bad about it!” Kagehira patted his head. “It’s not like I can never do that again.” After one last pat, he moved past him and went over to the table.
“I wasn’t ‘feeling bad about it’.” Shu grumbled, following him.
“Sure ya weren't,” Kagehira said, the tone of his voice telling Shu he did not believe him at all.
Ignoring the urge to argue back, Shu looked over his shoulder. “What are you doing?” he asked as he watched Kagehira fiddle with his phone.
“Just playing it from the part we used in our song.” Kagehira said, placing Shu’s phone back on the table. He turned and grabbed Shu’s waist, giggling at Shu’s surprised gasp, and wrapped one arm around it and took his hand in the other.
“A little warning would be nice!” Shu said, his free hand coming to rest on Kagehira’s shoulder.
“Sorry!” Kagehira said, not sounding the least bit sorry. “I just love it when ya make those tiny noises. They're too cute!”
Shu pouted as they moved, stepping and spinning around the dining table. Kagehira was more assertive as of late. Everytime Shu visited, the more bold Kagehira became. It was rather annoying since this often led to Kagehira relentlessly teasing him. He seemed to enjoy seeing him flustered. If Shu were being honest, a part of him was enamoured with his newfound boldness. He’d be lying if he said the part of him that enjoyed being teased and flustered wasn’t growing bigger each time it happened. It made him feel hot and bothered something that he was not ready to admit to Kagehira.
“Oshi-san.”
Pulling himself out of his thoughts, Shu cleared his throat before addressing his partner. “Yes?”
“Ya look really beautiful.” Kagehira said, cheeks turning pink. His eyes darted away as he squeezed Shu’s hand.
Shu could tell his own cheeks had probably changed colours with how warm he felt. He had heard these exact words from Kagehira many times; it wasn’t a surprise, but they never failed to send butterflies to Shu’s stomach. “Comme toi, mon amour,” Shu responded quietly, also looking at things other than Kagehira.
“Ah, that ain’t fair, Oshi-san!” Shu looked back at Kagehira to see him pouting.
“What?” he asked. He had a feeling he knew what Kagehira was going to complain about. “Yer saying stuff in French! Ya know I only understand a little bit!” Kagehira said.
“You know exactly what those words mean I’m sure!” Shu shot back. “I was the one who taught them to you so you can’t say you don’t know what those words mean!”
Kagehira puffed out his cheeks before sighing. “Okay ya, I know what those words mean,” he admitted. He pressed himself closer to Shu. “But I don’t want ya to say it in French. Just say it to me like how yer talkin’ to me right now.” He stared at Shu, waiting.
Biting his lip, Shu looked away again. Kagehira really had gotten more demanding. French was the language of love and since Shu loved romance, it made sense for him to use French to communicate his love verbally. But that wasn’t the main reason he kept using French to express his love. It was more comforting saying words of affection in French rather than Japanese. Expressing his love for Kagehira in his native tongue, a language Kagehira understood was daunting. He trusted Kagehira a lot, he truly did, but he still found it difficult to verbalize his deepest feelings. When he did, it felt as if he was stripped naked and laid bare, even more vulnerable to insults and rejection. He had come a long way from how he was a few years prior, climbing so high that no one could reach him and his feelings. Despite that growth, he still had times where the urge to isolate and hide himself away was at the forefront of his mind.
“I-I…” Shu started. He stopped, took a deep breath and continued. “I said as do you, my love.”
As he said those words, he saw Kagehira flush, cheeks turning a dark shade of red. “Oh gosh, Oshi-san” He ducked his head, resting it on Shu’s shoulder. The next words were muffled. The only word Shu heard was ‘embarrassing’.
Shu’s mouth fell open in shock before he moved Kagehira’s head off his shoulder. “Excuse me!” he shouted, stopping their dance. “You were the one demanding I say it in Japanese and I did, baring my soul to you and you call it embarrassing?” This was what he was afraid of.
“Nyah!” Kagehira started making the small noises he made when flustered. “Nyah, I didn’t mean it like that, Oshi-san! I meant that it’s embarrassin’ because I’m embarrassed by how embarrassed I am! Do ya get it?”
“No,” Shu said. “No, I don’t.”
“Ngah…um…” Kagehira said, shifting from foot to foot. He seemed to be frantically thinking. “Okay. When ya said that I’m beautiful, I got really nervous like there were butterflies in ma stomach! A good nervous. It made me feel happy too! Nyah, I hope that was a better explanation. Do ya understand better now, Oshi-san?”
Shu considered his words before responding. “Yes, I understand better now.” Kagehira smiled. “But, I’m still a little angry.” Shu added.
“Hmm,” Kagehira looked as if he was lost in thought again. He tapped Shu’s back as his smile grew. “How ‘bout I give ya an apology kiss?” He leaned forward.
Shu huffed. “Do you think a kiss will make it all better? I mustered up the courage to-smpf.” Kagehira’s lips cut him off from finishing.
The first thought that entered Shu’s mind was that Kagehira’s lips were chapped. He could feel it the longer their lips were together. He had to remind him to wear more lip balm. That thought left him quickly as he focused more on the kissing. He could taste a bit of the wine they had for dinner on Kagehira’s lips. It was a sweeter wine than what Shu usually drank. Kagehira preferred sweet tasting wine, so Shu had gotten it for him to try. He finished his glass, so Shu assumed he liked it. While he himself didn’t fancy too much sweetness, the hint of sweetness from Kagehira’s lips was rather intoxicating. He couldn’t help but suck on his lower lip to taste it more.
They broke the kiss a moment later, panting. Kagehira’s gaze dropped to Shu’s lips. “Better?” he looked back up.
“Hmph.”
“Oh, yer still upset?” Kagehira tilted his head to the side. He smiled, one full of playfulness. “I guess I’ll hafta give ya another apology kiss.” He leaned forward again, and this time Shu copied him, both meeting in the middle.
A happy sigh escaped Shu as he sucked on Kagehira’s bottom lip again. He could still taste the wine. He wondered if Kagehira could taste it on his lips.
As they pulled away, they stared into each other’s eyes. They had stopped in front of the window and the light from the fading sun illuminated them in warm light. How loved looking into Kagehira’s eyes. Yellow and Blue. They were so mesmerizing. It was easy for him to get lost in them. Kagehira used to hate being stared at, avoiding eye contact when it was too much. He was glad he was becoming more confident. Smiling, Shu brushed some hair away from the side of his face and tucked it behind his ear. The strand of hair stayed for a moment before springing back to its usual spot.
Kagehira shifted from one foot to the next before he smiled shyly at him. He let go of Shu’s hand and wrapped his arms around him, pressing his face into his shoulder. Shu copied him, wrapping his arms around him and pressing a kiss to the top of his head before burying his face in his hair. The song they were dancing to had long ended. A different track in the playlist now playing on the phone. They paid it no mind, instead just swaying in each other’s arms, not caring to follow the beat.
Shu lamented that in a couple weeks, Kagehira would leave back to Japan. The thought of being separated once again, away from this warmth, made his heart ache. But for now he’ll enjoy this moment in his partner’s arms.