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The engagement
Adestra and I were betrothed. We had been sitting on the balcony of my house looking out over the city, and I was thinking how wonderful it was to be so happy and to have someone to share that with, when Des turned to me and said “We should get married, Pheris,” and I replied Yes we should, and, amazingly, that was that.
I could hardly believe it. Adestra was the sister of my boyhood friend Austus, but although she and I had always been friendly it was only in recent months we had developed a closer relationship. Now we were regularly accused of being inseparable, and I was ridiculously happy. To be so close to someone, to be able to touch, to hold another person, someone who cared for me as much as I loved them; I had never imagined I could be so fortunate.
Des was everything I was not: lively, forceful, full of energy and drive. She had persuaded her parents to allow her sword training at the only fencing salle in the capital used by women. She sometimes carried a knife, she said, “Just for confidence, really. Sometimes it’s a bit scary on your own going down to the ships or the harbour office, particularly later in the day.”
I had told her about the king giving me a knife, and about Eddis and her attendants. She was easy to talk to; I could say anything to her without needing to watch my words, and she seemed to feel the same way about me, revealing a less self-confident, more vulnerable side of her nature. She liked using my signs for our conversations, though we had a slightly unfortunate tendency to forget that everyone in my house could understand them too.
We had reached the stage where we could hardly bear to be apart, despite the mockery of our friends. All the same I still struggled with the idea that anyone could truly want to be with someone like me. I kept wanting to say Are you sure?
“It’s really not that complicated, Pheris. I love you because you are uniquely you, the person in the world who happens to fit with me. Also, you make me laugh. And there’s this. This is really nice.” She snuggled into my bad side, her arm round my waist, leaving me free to sign with my good hand. She was absolutely indifferent to my infirmity, perhaps simply because she had known me for a long time. I turned her face to mine and kissed her.
We immediately told my household and all our friends. No-one was particularly surprised, though everyone was happy to agree that some kind of party was required.
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The in-laws
The following day I went to call on Adestra’s parents (naturally Des had told them the news already). I liked her parents, and they had always been kind to me and welcomed my friendship with their children. But perhaps marrying their oldest daughter would be different.
Marriage between patronoi and okloi was a rare occurrence among the barons, and I knew we would be the subject of unpleasantness from the greater patronoi. Des’ family were shipowners, wealthier than many baronial families; surely they would be equally disapproving of their oldest daughter marrying the frog baron.
Des had been sure there was no problem. “Honestly, Pheris, if they hadn’t wanted us to be together they’d never have allowed me to visit you here. Both of them have said they like how you managed to take on the barony so young. And my mother admires your financial expertise.”
I was startled. Really? Des’ mother looked after the finances of the business; no easy task given the unpredictability of running a fleet of ships.
I would like to put some money into the business.
“I’d like that too, particularly because mama will be losing an assistant – not that I’m so good on the financial side but I’m an excellent clerk.”
As it turned out, they could hardly have been kinder or more welcoming, concerned only for the social difficulties we might face.
And then Des’ father found an opportunity to take me aside.
“I hope you know, Pheris, that you are a young man we both like and respect. You’re young, but that’s no great problem: I know you barons are expected to marry early, and you both have plenty of sense. I do have one question.” He looked around, though we could not be overheard. “I don’t want to embarrass you, but – well, we would like grandchildren, you know.”
I had guessed the sort of concerns my parents-in-law-to-be might have, and I was ready, though hideously embarrassed. At least he had phrased the question politely. I saw the queen’s doctor about that a while back, and he thought there should be no problem. Also I know from the genealogies which are in the Erondites library that men with my infirmity have had children.
Back at my house, I told Des.
“Gods, Pheris! I can’t believe he just asked you flat out.”
He was very nice about it. But it was just so much fun to write out on a slate. It took ages, at least a week. During which I died of embarrassment several times.
She was laughing. “Well, you can stop talking now,” she said. She took my hand and drew me to her, effectively silencing me.
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The palace
When I got back home the following afternoon Des was there waiting.
“How did it go, then?” I had been to the palace to let my friends there know about our betrothal. First I went to the stable yard to to call on the stable master and his wife, who were good friends as well as my housekeeper’s parents, and then up to the palace itself.
I called in on Damaris’ parents. They were lovely. They’re going to come to our party. And Elpida and Iole and some of the others from the kitchens, if they can get away. We’ll have to work out if daytime or evening would be better. Or maybe -
“Later. Tell me about your friends in the palace.”
I saw everyone but Kamet and Costis. I left a note inviting them to our party, and I’ll call in again tomorrow to explain. Kamet loves parties.
“Or ‘observing Attolian culture’, as he calls it,” said Des with a smile.
Teleus was about the only person who was just genuinely pleased. And the queen, of course. Relius was sarcastic.
“No, really?” said Adestra, sarcastically. She had met Relius and Teleus at my house on numerous occasions.
He had already heard. I suppose I should have expected it, though it’s only a couple of days since it happened.
“Well, your housekeeper is the palace stable master’s daughter. Your caretaker is a former royal guard. Your house is constantly full of people from the palace dropping in for a bit of peace and quiet. I wouldn’t mind betting he had the gossip within hours.”
Petrus
I saw Petrus first. That was interesting.
I had continued to consult Petrus occasionally since I left the palace. He heartily approved. “Excellent, Pheris! A young woman from a family to whom you cannot possibly be related; ideal.”
I was a little surprised by this rather uncharacteristic show of enthusiasm.
“Almost the only thing we definitely know about your infirmity is that it is a family affliction” he said briskly. “While we can certainly treat the symptoms better than when you were a small child, it is only common sense to minimise the chances of further transmission.”
I nodded, thinking about my sisters and brother. Maybe I should mention this to them, though frankly it seemed highly unlikely any of them would consider the kind of “suitable” match my Erondites grandmother might propose.
He kindly assured me that he thought I should be able to manage to perform my duties as a husband, although we might need to make certain accommodations. He recommended some reading.
“Oh, Pheris!” Adestra laughed and glanced around, though we were alone in the room. “That’s worse than my father! Did he really say that?”
In a very proper and professional manner.
“Did you tell him we’d been, um, practising? I wonder what accommodations he had in mind? He is married, isn’t he?”
Six children.
“Well, where is it, is it a scroll or some kind of codex? Don’t tell me you didn’t get it?”
I laughed, and showed her. I get the impression that it’s mainly intended for men injured in the war.
“How to manage if you’re maimed? How lovely. Though actually I suppose - I mean, I don’t want to be unkind -” She was engrossed in examining the codex. “Look, Pheris,” she said, “there are diagrams.”
I watched her face as she turned the pages. “I thought it would be more, well, fun. Those diagrams are actually a bit off-putting.”
I took the codex back and put it away. Looking at her slightly unsettled expression I was filled with a vast rush of affection for her. Don’t worry about anything. We’re doing all right.
Relius
Relius was a bit difficult.
“So, the Kavatis girl is it?” said Relius.
I looked at him carefully. I have asked for a meeting with the queen, to inform her.
He sniffed. “Well, I certainly don’t want to steal your thunder, Pheris, never fear. Are you concerned she won’t approve?”
I thought she would be pleased, and I thought she might like to meet Adestra.
Don’t you?
“The sister of someone you once worked with? Unbelievably banal, compared with the opportunities open to you!”
The opportunities available to the young Baron Erondites? Or those open to an ugly crippled mute? Some had certainly been drawn to my attention, and not just by Relius. Handsome young courtiers and glamorous women, most of whom I suspected had more interest in sleeping with Relius than me. Or even worse, had some kind of prurient curiosity. Then there were the barons’ daughters pushed in front of me, reluctant or unwilling, by their ambitious parents, and distant young relatives of Erondites or Susa, urged on me by the old Baron Erondites’ widow. I hated the idea of anyone being forced to marry at all, far less enter into marriage with a person who looked like me.
We both want children. I thought Relius might understand that, even though he had never expressed an interest for himself, but he ignored me.
“Well, she’s a bit lanky at present, but I suppose she’ll be attractive enough in a year or two,” he said. I managed not to roll my eyes.
I never wanted to be a baron. This feels right for me. I can be useful in the business. We can have a good life, travel.
He stared at me.
“Really, Pheris, that’s all you want? After everything that’s happened to you, you don’t want influence and power? Or is this some sort of revenge on the king?”
Of course it wasn’t. I loathe the court. I don’t want to have to keep fighting forever. I believe I have done what I can to secure the barony for Attolia, and I will continue to make sure of that, of course.
“Fighting? Is that what the court feels like to you?”
Of course. Although I had good friends in the palace now, to many people I was always going to be the ugly cripple brought in by the annux to supplant Erondites, someone to be treated with disdain and mockery. Not to you?
“Well, I enjoy the game, I suppose I would say. I’m pleased at least you continue loyal.”
Relius was obviously never truly going to understand. I was a little hurt by his lack of empathy.
I think I can be useful to Attolia in other ways. The country had largely recovered from the war, and peace was providing new opportunities for commerce. Not as obviously exciting and glamorous as life at court, but I had seen more than enough of that.
“You don’t want your son to be Baron Erondites?”
I shrugged. I would never willingly impose that fate on anyone.
Teleus
Teleus was kinder. He’s been such a good friend. But he and Relius have a complicated history. He seemed a little ... wistful.
“Well, Pheris, no doubt you’re lining yourself up for a bit of social criticism, but the queen will be happy, and if you’ve found the right person, well, you’re fortunate indeed. I like your girl.” He put his arm round my shoulders and gave me a hug. “Don’t concern yourself about Relius. He wanted the moon for you, you know.”
I returned the hug.
Attolia and Attolis
The king laughed at me, of course.
“So, Pheris, what’s this about you getting married? Did it not occur to you that I might have wished to approve your choice, Erondites?”
I looked across at the queen.
“Pheris spoke to me some time ago, in fact,” she said calmly. “I assured him that there was no restriction on whom he might marry.”
“So.” Eugenides grinned. “You really asked, Pheris? How old were you? I can just picture it.”
It was a few years ago, when I first became baron. I needed to know if there were conditions. I knew her Majesty would give me a clear answer. I avoided using the sign for straight, or indeed truthful.
“And who is this girl?”
She is the sister of one of her Majesty’s former pages.
He looked at me narrowly. “This would be one of her Majesty’s okloi pages, Pheris?”
The first friends of my own age in the palace had been two okloi boys, part of the earliest cohort of okloi queen’s pages. I never imagined the king had noticed my friendships.
Yes. Her name is Adestra. Of the Kavatis house.
“Well, my queen will undoubtedly be pleased.” He raised his eyebrows at Attolia. One of the queen’s aims for her country was to improve the conditions of the okloi and not coincidentally reign in the authority of the barons.
Then he started to laugh. “All the time you’ve spent sorting out the old baron’s affairs, putting an end to his schemes, making the Erondites name respected again, and now this. Typical.”
I took my queen’s advice. I smiled at her. Thank you, your Majesty.
Eugenides looked intrigued. “What did you tell him, Irene?”
She smiled. “I told him to follow his heart,” she said.
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