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She Wants Me (To Be Loved)

Summary:

It's not supposed to happen. It was never supposed to happen. Chat was never meant to enter Marinette's life. He was meant to stay confined to Ladybug's life, at least until they could beat hawkmoth. But now he's in her life and...

and she's not sure she wants that to change.

Chapter 1: Chapter I

Chapter Text

It’s calm. Akumas have been sparse now that summer's granted freedom for students. In fact, there hasn’t been a singular Akuma for the past week. Marinette is actually quite glad about it. She loves being Ladybug, but she also loves the fact she’s actually able to spend time with friends, and the fact she’s not having to worry about the safety of Paris every moment.

 

She hasn’t seen Chat in a while either. They patrol, but they shortened their patrols to every other week, seeing as Akumas were mostly gone, and general crime seemed to be lessening with their constant patrols. Nobody wanted to be caught by a superhero, let alone one that had the ability to turn anything to dust with his hands.

 

She would see him again in three days, but she always wondered what exactly he did in his free time. Did he hang out with friends during the summer? Did he go to the beach or stay holed up inside? How did Plagg like the warm weather? Tikki flourished in it, and Marinette had picked up gardening to allow Tikki a nice area to bask in the sun when they were at home. Having her on the window sill or roof was too dangerous. An akumatized civilian could show up at any moment and report her to Hawkmoth, or Chat could pass by and see her if he ever decided to explore Paris as Chat.

 

“Goodnight Alya!” Marinette called from her place behind the counter. She’d sent Alya home with a bag of sweets. Her family didn’t like throwing the old sweets away, but they wanted their things to be fresh. They’d save the old food, either to eat themselves, sell at a discount, or give away. They’d settled into a decent habit of having only a little over what was sold throughout the day, but it had been accepted this number would never be completely perfect. 

 

Marinette grabbed a couple macarons, biting into one as she ascended to go upstairs. Her parents seemed to be in bed already, so she called a quick goodnight to them before heading up to her room. She closed the hatch behind her, then opened her bag to let Tikki out.

 

“Sorry Tikki, if I’d known we’d be out so long I’d have let you stay here,” She said, giving her a macaron.

 

“Mmm, thank you Marinette,” She said, taking a bite. “It’s better I’m near you all the time, you never know when someone will get akumatized.”

 

“You’re right,” Marinette nodded. She glanced up at the skylight of her ceiling, leading up to the rooftop. It wasn’t too late, probably sunset based on the lighting. “You wanna go to the garden for a little?”

 

Tikki nodded. Marinette let Tikki perch on her shoulder, then climbed up onto her bed, then onto the rooftop. She set Tikki into some of the flowers, grabbing her watering can to water the bushes Tikki wasn’t in.

 

She watered the ones near the front first, slowly making her way back to the hatch to her room. She had her back turned, watering the middle flowers, when she heard a loud thump on her roof. She whipped around, expecting an attack.

 

Chat Noir stood on her roof, now getting sprinkled from the water that had left the can when she turned. He jumped, hissing.

 

“Chat Noir?” She asked, staring at him. He collected himself again, then turned towards her.

 

“Marinette,” He said. She was surprised he remembered her. They’d talked once or twice before, nothing too serious, just when she’d get caught up in an Akuma’s attack before being able to transform. She dismissed it. Her parents bakery was locally famous, especially after catering a multitude of events around Adrien Agreste. They were smaller events, and there was never too much emphasis on the bakery, hence the fame only being local, but it was enough that her name was known around the city.

 

“What are you doing here?” She asked after a moment, seeing as he wasn’t talking or making an attempt to leave.

 

“Patrolling,” He said, and she might have believed him if not for all the complaints he had about patrolling when they did. She doubted those complaints were based around Ladybugs presence, which meant he was likely lying. In all honesty, he was probably just antsy, something she sometimes felt with the long gaps in Akumas. 

 

“Any reason you stopped on my balcony?” She asked, tilting her head a little.

 

“Your flowers are pretty,” He commented, and she wasn’t quite sure if that was deflection or the real reason. She just nodded a bit.

 

“Thank you,” She replied. He smiled at her.

 

“What kind are they?” He asked.

 

“Oh, um- well this bed is a mix of Gardenias, the white ones, and Camellia, the pink one,” She explained, pointing to the bed full of fluffy white and pink flowers. They took up most of the space on the bed, creating an extremely full look. They also were the biggest bed, and the one Tikki had been left in. Marinette wasn’t too worried, considering the beds full ness made it so Tikki was likely invisible.

 

“These are daisies and zinnias, and there's some baby’s breath in there too," she explained, hovering over two smaller beds full of thin, but still full flowers. They came in all different colors, although most were white, pink, and orange. The baby’s breath was much smaller, and not as noticeable.

 

“Trying to grow lilies over here, but they haven’t sprouted yet. There's some honeysuckle in here too, so that’s what that is,” She explained, gesturing over the thin red plants.

 

Chat nodded behind her, and she suddenly felt embarrassed. She doubted he cared that much. A general summary would have done fine. She blushed a bit, focusing on the flowers, and not on Chat.

 

“I like them, they’re pretty,” He smiled. “Never knew you were much of a gardener.”

 

“I mean, it’s not like you know me,” She laughed a bit.

 

“No, but I know your family's bakery, and I think I heard your name in a couple fashion contests,” He explained with some hesitance. She nodded, flustered once again with the fact she was known.

 

“I picked it up over the summer, I guess,” She said. He nodded again. Why was he still here? This was so weird! Chat! Go away!

 

She huffed. Chat gave her a puzzled look.

 

“Sorry,” She said.

 

“Anything bothering you?” He asked. You! She wanted to say, but she couldn’t.

 

“No, the lilies are just frustrating,” She said, covering her sigh.

 

“I’m sure you’ll get them to grow!” He encouraged, smiling. This was so, well, weird. Chat was interacting with her, Marinette. Not only that, but interacting with her without making dumb puns. He seemed… genuinely sweet, even if she somewhat felt put off by the lack of puns. She didn’t miss them. She didn’t

 

“Aren’t they toxic to cats?” Marinette asked after a moment, remembering it from Luka complaining he couldn’t have them around his house due to his cats.

 

“Dunno, I don’t think I’m affected like that though,” He shrugged. She gave him an almost questioning look. If she was Ladybug she would have scolded him for being so careless, but she wasn’t, and she didn’t think Marinette would scold Chat Noir, so she kept her mouth shut. If she was Ladybug, she’s pretty sure she would have scolded him a while ago. Showing up on some random civilian's balcony, making casual conversation, sharing way too much information about possibilities of his identity. She’d known he lived in the area, otherwise he wouldn’t be able to show up so quickly to Akuma attacks and the patrols, but he’d still technically narrowed down the area to someone who would know Marinette’s bakery, and her work.

 

“Where's Ladybug?” She asked after a moment, curious as to what he’d say.

 

“Oh- uh, she’s taking the day off. Something family related I think, nothing serious!” He explained. Decent cover, actually. She almost smirked. “Why? Disappointed?”

 

He was definitely teasing, and she knew that, and yet there was a certain look to him that looked almost hurt. She knew Ladybug was normally in the spotlight, the fan favorite, but Chat had always seemed so… okay with it.

 

“No! I was just wondering, I don’t actually like Ladybug,” She said, panicking. She didn’t want Chat to be upset. But now he was looking at her again, a different look. It looked almost, angry? No- offended? “Not! Not like that - I just mean - well um, I liked Chat Noir better?”

 

Chat smirked at that and she realized her mistake. What she said wasn’t a lie. She did like Chat better than herself, and even looking at it objectively as she could, there was something fascinating about the black cat, but she probably shouldn’t be admitting that to Chat's face. In fact, his face right now made her deeply regret admitting anything anywhere near that.

 

“Oh you, do you?” He smirked. “What, you a superfan of sorts?”

 

“No! I just have a preference, that's all,” Marinette said. And okay, maybe she liked Chat a little more than she should. She had a couple pins of him on her design corkboard in her room, not to mention the keychain she had somewhere on her desk, and the various shirts of him… maybe she was a superfan, but she was Chat’s partner. She felt like she should have Chat’s merch, it only felt right. Besides, if Chat’s personality in the suit was anything to go off of, he was also a Ladybug super fan.

“Anyway, aren’t you like Ladybug’s number one fan?” She retorted, attempting to defend herself from the information he didn’t even know.

 

“So defensive, Meowch-! Is it really that terrible to be a fan?” He asked. There were the puns she so dearly did not miss. 

 

“You don’t need an ego boost,” She replied. He gasped in mock offense. 

 

“I’m very humble, I’ll have you know,” He retorted. She laughed a bit. He wasn’t actually much of a bragger, not that he had much to brag about as far as Marinette knew, but he did get extremely excited upon learning he had fans. It had been all too amusing the first time he learned he had hundreds if not thousands of girls thirsting over him and his leather suit. If Marinette had similar thoughts, they were very much private. Which she didn’t.

 

“I’m sure you are,” She said.

 

“So mean,” He pouted, and she giggled. 

 

“Your okay, Chat,” She laughed.

 

He continued pouting. Narinette walked over to him, patting his head softly.

 

“There,there,” She laughed. Chat’s eyes widened, and Marinette’s followed. She had just - She just pet Chat. Well, okay, no. She patted his head, but either way, she’d touched him, randomly, as Marinette. 

 

“Comforted by Marinette, how purrfect,” He commented, and Marinette just blushed. He was so embarrassing. 

 

She didn’t respond for a little, still quite embarrassed about the fact she had just touched Chat, something she barely even did as Ladybug. In fact, she’s pretty sure she’s never touched Chat’s hair before, and she wishes she kept it that way, because now she wants to touch it more. It’s soft, so soft she’s curious whether it’s a trait of his own hair or something the miraculous adds. It’s also messy, which she already knew, but the light touching of his hair made her realize it still felt smooth. She wondered if there were any tangles at all. 

 

“Marinette?” Chat asked, seeming to notice Marinette had freezed up. She hadn’t meant to, but she had quickly begun spacing out on Chat’s hair. 

 

“Oh- uh- sorry!” She scrambled.

 

“It’s alright,” Chat laughed. “Just didn’t expect it, you can do it again if you want,” He shrugged, but he almost looked as though he wanted her to continue.

 

She debated. Chat really shouldn’t be allowing this. From a Ladybug point of view, this was dangerous. He’d far overstayed his welcome, and the longer he stayed here, the more he interacted with Marinette, the more likely a target she would become. But Akumas were scarce now, and Marinette was Ladybug, even if Chat was unaware. 

 

From a Marinette standpoint, she really wanted to touch Chat’s hair. It was really soft, and he might as well be pleading with the eyes he was giving her. 

 

“Isn’t this dangerous?” She said instead. Chat looked confused. “If Hawkmoth knows we talk he’d probably target me.”

 

“Oh- uh,” Chat stumbled. Clearly he hadn’t even considered that, stupid cat . “I can always protect you.”

 

That was… really sweet, and really dumb. He could not always protect her, and he shouldn’t be setting himself up to always have to. He didn’t know Marinette was Ladybug. For all he knows, he just promised to protect quite possibly the clumsiest girl in all of Paris while also having to deal with Akumas.

 

“I still don’t think this is a good idea,” Marinette argued. “What would Ladybug say?”

 

Marinette didn’t expect it, but somehow that seemed to hit a sour spot for Chat. His expression shifted to something almost bitter, and he didn’t respond for a little. 

 

“Neither of us are Ladybug,” He said. Marinette was confused. He’d always seemed to adore Ladybug and now, here he was, seeming mad at her. Marinette racked her brain for something she could have done recently, but she couldn’t think of anything. 

 

“Chat I- I don’t know,” She said. She felt bad now, but this still wasn’t a smart decision. He should go, not stay around so she can play with his hair.

 

“Hm, okay purrincess” He replied, neutralizing his expression. She almost rolled her eyes at his pun, but his nickname stopped her. 

 

“Are- are you and Ladybug okay?” She asked, wanting to see if she could get any information on why he seemed upset with her now.

 

“My Lady and I are close as can be,” He smiled, but it didn’t seem genuine. “Pawsitively, clawsome. Purrfect, if you will.”

 

Marinette rolled her eyes at the puns this time. He gave an offended look.

 

“Marinette, Chat Noir super fan, and not a fan of his amazing puns?” He teases.

 

“I am not a superfan!” She defended. She really wasn’t. It just felt weird to be a fan of Ladybug when that was her, and it was even weirder to be a fan of neither, at least to everyone else. It wasn’t that she actually liked Chat- no, not at all. 

 

“I’m pretty sure you’re a super fan,” He teased again. She just huffed.

 

“Whatever helps you sleep at night,” She rolled her eyes. He feigned mock offense.

 

“Who knew sweet little Marinette could be so cruel,” He replied, putting a hand dramatically over his heart. 

 

Marinette found herself laughing a bit. Ladybug was screaming at her to stop and send him away, but there was something nice about talking to him. She did quite enjoy his presence, even when they were partners,but he seemed infatuated with her. It didn’t feel real. And yet here he was, talking to Marinette, seeming just as interested, albeit with the flirting gone, with her. Maybe Chat was genuinely just sweet, and Ladybug had never been a witness to it before.

 

“You should come inside before someone sees you,” She said, almost against her will. She’s sure Tikki was not a fan of this, but oh well. 

 

“Oh, already inviting me into your bedroom?” He wiggled his eyebrows at her.

 

“On second thought, you could go,” She retorted. 

 

“So cruel, Princess,” He said, stepping closer to her. She took that as a sign he would come inside and walked over to the hatch, sliding in and holding it open for him. He slipped inside her room, dropping onto her bed, the area the hatch fell onto. She wasn’t sure this area was originally meant to be for a bed, especially considering none of the normal bed sizes fit very well up here, but she’d gotten a custom bed for the loft as a birthday present when she was 12. 

 

She went down the steps of her loft. She expected Chat to follow, and he did, but instead of using the steps he simply jumped down, using the rails to soften the fall, and therefore the noise.

 

“Was it really that hard to use the stairs?” She asked, and he just smirked at her. She rolled her eyes. 

 

“Cute room,” He commented, glassing around. His eyes hit the desk last, and then he seemed to focus on something, one of the cork boards. She followed his eyes. It was the one that held the merch she had of him on it.

 

“Not a superfan, hm?” He questioned, walking closer to look at them. 

 

“That’s like three pins!” She defended, and he laughed.

 

“What's so awful about being a superfan, hm?” He asked.

 

“Maybe the fact you're currently in my room, I think that’d make this whole interaction a little weird,” She explained. Chat just looked at her confused. Apparently, he was not familiar with how weird it felt for someone to be an absolute super fan of you, Alya, and listen to them rave about your every action without actually knowing it's you.

 

He glanced around her desk a little more, and his eyes caught on something else. She looked at it. It was the stack of magazines she owned of Adrien. She blushed. That was embarrassing.

 

Chat moved the top magazine, revealing the next one was also Adrien. Marinette ran over, blocking him from moving the others.

 

“Don’t you know it’s rude to clutter other people’s desks?” She responded. He simply smirked at her.

 

“Are you his superfan?” He teased. 

 

“What? No!” Marinette defended. “He just has a lot of magazines. A bunch of these are fashion based, and I got a lot of them when I made a hat for a competition he was in. Helped figure out his personal style.” 

 

Chat seemed like he didn’t fully believe her, but was happy enough to accept that answer. He looked around her room a little more, not seeming to find anything of interest to him. He just walked over to the chaise and laid on it, watching Marinette. 

 

He looked more cat-like than usual like that. She laughed a bit. 

 

“What!” He said, feigning offense with a glare. 

 

“You look like a big cat,” She replied.

 

“That’s because I am,” He said back, and she giggled again. 

 

“Okay, kitty,” She said. Chat laughed a bit. 

 

She paid him little attention, instead sitting at her desk. She shuffled through her bag for a little before taking out her homework. She paused. 

 

“I’ll be back. Stay there, don’t touch anything!” She said, then slipped out of her room. She went all the way down to the bakery, grabbing a couple of the leftover sweets. Lots of macarons, a couple pastries and bread. She grabbed a a baguette as well, quickly cutting it into smaller pieces. She went back up with a bunch of food. 

 

Chat was standing over the magazines again when she came back. She huffed.

 

“Chat!” She said, and he threw his hands up in surrender. 

 

She set the food down on the desk and then pushed him back to his spot on the chaise. She went back over to her desk, portioning it, and giving him a plate of his half. His eyes lit up. 

 

“Thank you!” He said, immediately scarfing down a macaron. She laughed a bit, then sat back down at her desk. She started on the homework, working silently while Chat stayed on the chaise.

 

The more she worked, the more she began to forget Chat was in the room. He wasn’t exactly loud. At some point she’s pretty sure he’d started wandering around the room and found her yarn stash, something she’d held a silent laugh in when he started rolling it around. She’d make him clean it up later, and if not it wasn’t the worst to clean up. He seemed to just be doing circles with it, not getting it in between any furniture or anything.

 

This was weird, just having Chat sit in her presence, but he seemed happy to be here, and she didn’t exactly mind. 

 

She groaned. Physics was the worst. She knew it was the basis of the universe basically, but she wanted no part in calculating any numbers around the universe. She’s not sure that calculating how much force it takes to move an object is ever going to help her, as she’s not exactly running calculations in her head as to how much force she's using.

 

It reminded her of Chat’s presence though, because he came to hover over her shoulder. He glanced over the homework.

 

“What's confusing you?” He asked.

 

She almost jumped upon hearing his voice again, being so used to the silence she forgot he could talk. 

 

“Everything,” she groaned. He laughed. 

 

“Okay, well we can start here,” He said, pointing to a problem down the page. “Looks like the easiest one.”

 

He was right, it was much easier than the first few, although that could be partially to blame on the fact he was now helping her with it. 

 

They finished the physics worksheet and she put all her homework away. She always saved the most annoying for last. She cleaned up her desk, including the crumbs that were left there by her snacking. 

 

She had just cleaned the last of the crumbs when she heard the characteristic beep of a miraculous. 

 

“I gotta go,” He said. She nodded. “Take the rest with you,” She said, gesturing to the rest of the food. “I could grab you a box really quick?” She asked. 

 

He nodded and she quickly went downstairs. Luckily they kept some boxes in the kitchen, so she didn’t have to go all the way down. She brought it back up, putting the food into the small box. It was just a couple of macarons and some of the baguette. He seemed to have eaten the pastries she gave him. She noted it down. 

 

“Here you go,” She said, handing it to him. 

 

“Thank you, princess,” He smiled, climbing up the stairs to the roof. She followed him, knowing she’d have to let Tikki in. “Plagg will like these,”

 

“Plagg?” She asked, slipping. She probably shouldn’t have asked, seeing as he may have to explain Kwamis. She already knew them, but he didn’t know that, and he shouldn’t be giving information like that out. 

 

“Oh uh, my cat,” He explained. 

 

“You shouldn’t give cats things like that,” She said, seeing if he would mention kwamis. She needed to know just how unsafe he was being with the information. 

 

“Ah, you’re probably right, but he likes cheese a lot, so I’m sure he’ll eat a bite or two of the cheese bread,” He explained. Good, he didn’t mention Kwamis.

 

His miraculous beeped again, and waved goodbye before using his baton to bounce away. 

 

Plagg liked cheese, noted.

 

That didn’t need to be noted. If she was lucky, Chat would not show up at her house again. If she was smart, she’d be aware Chat is most definitely going to show up again. And unfortunately for her, she is smart enough to know that. She grabbed Tikki from her spot in the flower beds.

 

“Marinette!” Tikki squeaked angrily when they got inside. Marinette descended her loft again to clean up the yarn, which he had seemed to start cleaning up.

 

“I know Tikki!” Marinette pleaded. “I don’t know what was wrong with me!”

 

Tikki puffed out her cheeks, floating over to Marinette. “This is highly dangerous! Him or Hawkmoth could figure out who you are!”

 

“I know Tikki,” Marinette sighed. Putting the yarn away and flicking off her lights. “He was just - so sweet.”

 

Tikki frowned. 

 

“I didn’t expect it. I knew he was nice to Ladybug, and obviously he was nice to civilians, but that was in public. And then he spent all this time with me, as Marinette, even though he could have found an easy excuse to leave,” Marinette explained. She felt guilty about it, and she felt even more guilty that she hoped he’d come back again tomorrow. She had missed Chat, more than she realized. “Besides, he seemed lonely, and angry at Ladybug, and I was going to figure out why, but then I just got distracted.”

 

“It’s okay Marinette, there's a natural connection between the Ladybug and Black cat. He won’t feel it when you’re not in the suit, but you may when he is and you aren’t,” Tikki explained, snuggling into her spot on the bed. Marinette sighed, settling against the pillows and closing her eyes. 

 

She thought of Chat. God damn it.