Archive of Our Own ^beta

Allen permitted his frustration to leave in a sigh. He was tired. He didn’t want to practice violin even on his birthday. It was the same discussion every birthday, why couldn’t things change? It was only one day after all.

To worsen things, his friends weren’t available because there was an event and both were participating. Anne as SWANK’s creator and Hajun as one of the most famous models in Japan. Nothing new, he knows. If he would be honest, he doesn’t even know how he became their friend considering his area is music and his friends’ is fashion.

Still, nothing he could complain. They were the only friendship he could say was true and loyal. They had a few disagreements through the years, however, they understood Allen and even supported his love for hip-hop, which was awesome when considering that his parents could never since they burned his vinyl collection from Buraikan when they discovered it.

Anne and Hajun were indeed a mystery when questioning how they ended up as his friends. They all met when they decided to study abroad for a semester in the United States, and even though they were all from different universities in Japan and had distinct majors, they chose to take the same business class, sealing their fate.

Allen finally stopped to observe where his feet were taking him in his autopilot walking. Then, he weakly smiled when he noticed where he was.

“Welcome!” The voice exclaimed after he slid the door of the shop.

“Good afternoon”, the man greets and sits on the corner of the counter, where he could access the socket on the wall.

“Where's your wig and mask?”

Allen takes his hand to his face and hair and sighs. “I guess I was too irritated to remember to wear them.”

The man nods in understanding. “What’s the order for today?”

“Tonkotsu lamen, please.” He puts the violin down and takes his laptop from his bag, listening to the song he was meant to upload.

Suzaku. That’s his channel’s name. It’s his nickname and his way to escape from the reality of being a great classic instrument player. It’s not like he doesn’t like his career, it’s just that… What you can’t have can be much more attractive, don’t you think? While Allen Sugasano is the genius violinist molded with the best money could do, he slowly felt the need to find his alter ego.

And he found it. It started slowly, learning how some programs for song composition worked, testing how some compositions could result in… The ending of this was his YouTube and other social media profiles, where he never needed to show his face to make numbers because that’s the power of music: you don’t need to appear to connect people or connect with people.

“Here it is. Enjoy it.” Allen smiled weakly at the bowl in front of him. “Don’t worry it’s on the house. Happy birthday, Allen.”

His smile grew. “Thank you, Shura. You always remember.”

“It’s not a secret I have it on my calendar.” He points to the calendar close to the cashier. “But I already memorized it.”

“It’s an honor that Shura himself knows my birthday.”

“Stop calling me that.” Allen ignores him and keeps eating. “So”, Haruomi draws his attention again, “same thing as last year?”

“Yeah… I don’t know why I try expecting something different.”

“How was today’s practice?”

“Today was not practice, it was a rehearsal. In two days there’s this…” Allen sighs. “This Sugasano’s concert. We’ll have our solos, our duos… It’s annoying, really.”

“I’m aware. It caught Chisei’s attention, so we’re going to see you.”

Allen gets a bit embarrassed. “F-For real?”

“Yeah. He likes you, you know.” Haruomi can’t hide his happiness at seeing the boy so happy with the sentence.

The first time Allen entered Ramentei was on his 16th birthday. He had an amazing discussion with his parents and just ran away without a goal, he just needed to clear his head. Even after eight years Allen still doesn’t know what attracted him inside a simple shop such as Ramentei, but the owner was gentle and even gave him some daifuku on the house after he told him his story.

Since then Allen has been welcomed at Ramentei, his refugee to compose hip hop without his parents knowing, to upload his songs, and to receive a bit of affection from Buraikan, because after three months of eating there, he coincidently met Yasha and he discovered who Shingu in fact was.

“Here”, Shingu offered him a small plate with two wagashi. “It’s also on the house.”

Allen smiled widely. “Thank you, Shura!”

He felt as if he received more signs of affection from his idols in a few hours than he had received during all his life from his parents. Sometimes he wonders if he is his parents’ son or just a tool to achieve more success seeing that everything he conquered in his life is attached to the Sugasano’s.

“What have I told you about calling me Shura?” The red-haired pouted at the question

“What’s the matter if no one’s here?”

Haruomi was ready to answer when the door was opened, showing two people he knew very well.

“Welcome”, the owner said.

“Shura! Long time no see ya!” Nayuta screamed excitedly and the man sighed in redemption. “Oh, I didn’t know you had another customer.”

“That’s why I say you shouldn’t call me that. All of you.”

“Fine…” Nayuta and Allen responded that even though they didn’t like the idea, they would probably call him by his stage name at the first opportunity.

“So, what’s the order for today?”

“The same as always”, Kanata says quietly. He was tired and wanted to go home, but at the same time he was hungry and there was nothing at home to make.

“C-C-C-” At this point, Sugasano caught the twins' attention with the stuttering. “Cozmez!?”

“Oh~” Kanata observes his brother smiling. Nayuta was always the best at dealing with their fans. “We have a fan here, what a coincidence.”

“I’m a huge fan!” The man exclaims excitedly. “I was there in your first shows! I haven’t been to any this year though, it’s been a rough year…”

Kanata observed the man from head to toe. The laptop in front of him was a great and expensive one, with an additional small screen right above the keyboard and clearly a touchscreen one considering the pen resting beside the laptop. Then, the clothes were all from non-sense expensive brands. However, the icing on the cake was the violin case leaning against the wall.

“I know you”, Kanata mentions. “You’re the flush who’s always on the front row. You don’t match with the audience with these fucking clothes you wear.”

Allen is surprised he was recognized taking into consideration he is always with a wig and a mask.

“So that’s the one you always mention?” Nayuta provokes and Kanata rolls his eyes.

“Apparently.”

“It’s good to meet such a loyal fan”, Nayuta says sincerely and gets close to the violinist. “Thank you for your support.” He extends his hand and Allen accepts the shake. “Are you a YouTuber? It seems you’re uploading a video…”

Allen gets flustered. “T-That’s nothing, really.”

“Allen is into hip-hop too, he just can’t show it publicly”, Shura explains from the stove.

“Shura!” The man lets his stage name slide this time.

“For real?” Nayuta questions interested. “What’s your stage name?”

Allen feels embarrassed to show his work to someone as cozmez, but he does it anyway. “Suzaku.”

“You’re fucking Suzaku!?” Kanata laughs as if he heard the best joke of his life. “There’s no fucking way you’re him!”

“It actually makes sense”, Nayuta mentions. “Suzaku sometimes mixes violin and piano in his songs. It’s what took him to the spotlight.”

Kanata looks at the violin case and thinks for a bit. “So a rich loser as you can make some music worth listening to…”

“Kanata… That’s rude”, Nayuta warns.

Allen prefers not to discuss it when he agrees to the fact he’s just a rich loser. Even so, he says sincerely “I’m glad cozmez listen to my music. I didn’t have a clue the legends could pay attention to me.”

Kanata raises an eyebrow to the comment. “You won’t go anywhere thinking like this. You’re really a loser.”

“Kanata”, Nayuta scolds.

“Here’s your order”, Haruomi says, putting the bowls on the counter and Nayuta sits next to the red-haired to eat.

“You said you didn’t have time to go see us this year.”

“Yeah…” Allen eats his wagashi. “It’s amazing how I always have a concert, a presentation, or other bullshit to do on the same day.”

“So, you’re a pro-violinist?”

“Nayuta, you should pay attention to your surrounds, his face is fucking everywhere” Kanata mentions because it’s true, Suzaku’s family must be truly wealth to be able to handle so many headlines.

“Seriously?”

“The idiot is called a genius violinist.”

“T-They like to exaggerate… I’m just…” He doesn’t know how to defend himself, so he begins to eat his other sweet.

Kanata observes the violinist. He didn’t know why, but something about Suzaku was making him want to orbit the man. He wanted to know more about him.

“You’re fucking annoying”, he says anyway. “Gimme your LINE.”

“My LINE?” Allen asks startled by the request, but he gets his cellphone and opens his profile QR Code for his idol.

“We’ll be on stage again next week”, Kanata mentions. “I will send you the information and if you can I will put your name on the list.”

Allen blinks a few times in disbelief. Since cozmez were pointed out as the young hip-hop legend and the first step for the new generation of the genre, their tickets became more and more challenging to conquer.

“I would love to!” He exclaims and notices the upload of his video finished. Closing his laptop he smiles fondly. “I think that’s the best birthday I’ve ever had.”

And Kanata for some strange reason felt he was fucked up somehow.

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“Shura and Yasha are waving”, Kanata notices when they enter the theater.

“We’re lucky the seats aren’t numbered”, Nayuta mentions, noticing that even though the theater is crowded there are seats reserved for them close to Buraikan. “I think it’s my first time coming to such a thing.” Kanata nods and follows his brother to one of the front rows, where they sit, knowing that they are too far for Allen to see them but that they will be able to see him perfectly.

Later during the day they met, Nayuta suggested that it would be fair to see Allen on stage as well. So the violinist manages it, he gets the tickets for the concert and warns them about the necessity of wearing formal clothes to the event. The warning was quite welcome considering they needed to find formal clothes on the day before the event.

“I hope I don’t sleep”, Kanata confesses.

“Stop it, Kanata. Classic music is still music, we should appreciate it.”

Kanata snorts in disagreement. “You just say it because your boyfriend plays piano.” He stops to think about the fact for a moment. “Isn’t it strange that your boyfriend likes classic music and you didn’t know Sugasano?”

“I knew him by name, not by face”, Nayuta answers, not caring about the fact.

They kept quietly talking while the event didn’t start. However, after fifteen minutes, the lights were turned off, the only thing visible being the stage where Allen soon appeared alone.

And Kanata hated seeing him standing on that stage. The man was serious, but the eyes were a different story. Allen was not satisfied with being there and Kanata could see that hidden there was a mix of unwanted feelings, something he wished not to see on that face.

Then, Sugasano closed his eyes and started his solo. Yatonokami couldn’t say by himself if it was an original song or a classic, but according to the setlist, it was an original, which was composed by the red-haired himself. Nevertheless, he could understand why Allen Sugasano was considered a genius. Those emotions were not there anymore, the emotions when those eyes opened were substituted for what he wanted to display and make people feel with his song, which was an incredible composition.

Kanata couldn’t take his eyes off the man on the stage.

Allen Sugasano was a genius violinist and Kanata couldn’t deny it.

His solo lasted two more songs before he changed places with his father. The man had technique, but the arrogance was all over him and his song, which was annoying as fuck. The mother didn’t look arrogant, but he knew how to see a wonderful mother when he saw one. However, Kanata needed to admit that her skills as a singer were top-notch.

In the end, Kanata hated the duo between father and son. The oldest Sugasano wasn’t even close to his son’s skills, and even though Kanata liked the song, some classic he didn’t know the name of, he couldn’t enjoy it plenty due to the pianist.

Nonetheless, he was able to enjoy the three of them together somehow. Nothing compared to listening only to Allen, but it was meritorious in some way.

When the event ended, Kanata could only conclude Suzaku’s songs were still the best.

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“I’m back~”, Nayuta announces from the entrance.

“Welcome back”, Kanata answers from the sofa he’s lying on watching some stupid TV show.

“Did you check your X today?” Nayuta questions when he finds his brother.

“You know I don’t check SNS. Did something happen?”

“Someone spotted us yesterday and we’re trending with Buraikan and Sugasano.”

“Let them talk whatever they want. I don’t give a fuck.”

“Well, people are just impressed that we know how to appreciate different genres since we’re always so feverish about hip-hop, who we are, and where we came from, you know?”

“I won’t repeat myself, Nayuta.”

“Yeah, yeah”, Nayuta agrees. “Shiki said you should hang out with us. It’s been a while apparently.” Nayuta sits on the floor, in front of the sofa.

“Sure, we can agree on something on the group chat.”

“By the way, you didn’t tell me what you thought about yesterday.”

“As if there is something to say.”

“You seemed really concentrated on Sugasano though”, the twin provoked.

“As if.”

Both knew the answer was not true but neither insisted on the topic.

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The next week came slowly for Kanata. He didn’t have a reason to talk to Sugasano again, so he could only expect cozmez event to come closer so he could have an excuse to message the violinist.

On the day before he messaged Sugasano, confirming his presence and that he would have access to the dressing rooms after the end of the event.

The knock on the door startled the twins, but Nayuta was faster in getting to the door, hoping to see his lover.

“Shiki!” Nayuta hugged his boyfriend and pulled him inside.

“Disguised as always”, Kanata jokes when he notices the man still in front of the door. The man nodded but didn’t say a word. “Enter.” He did as said and the twin closed the door.

“My parents suspect I am related to the fact Buraikan and cozmez were part of our audience last week”, Allen comments while taking off his mask. “I can’t risk them discovering they are right. Last time they discovered I was related to hip-hop they burned all my Buraikan vinyls. I don’t wanna know what they could do now.” He explains in a low voice, expecting the couple not to hear it.

Kanata deeply hated Suzaku’s parents.

“I didn’t introduce you yet”, Nayuta mentions and Allen refrains from talking. “Shiki, this is Allen Sugasano. Sugasano, this is Shiki Ando.”

“It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Both say at the same time and bow a little.

“Damn, you’re both too polite”, Nayuta jokes.

“I’m also The Cat’s Whiskers fan, it’s nice to meet one of the members”, Allen mentions smiling and holding himself from mumbling as the hip-hop maniac he is. He did a good job when he met cozmez, he could do it again.

“O-Oh… I didn’t expect you to know us from TCW. It’s an honor that you know us, Sugasano.”

“Nah, your music is pretty cool, I like it.”

They ended up talking a bit more while the twins organized themselves to leave.

“I still can’t believe I finally came to my first cozmez show of the year”, Allen admits. “Thank you very much, you both.”

“Whenever you want it, just tell us and we can make it happen”, Nayuta says instead of Kanata, which he surprisingly appreciates. “We’re going to celebrate at 4/7. Wanna go?”

“4/7?”

“TCW’s bar”, Kanata explains. “You seem too molded by mommy and daddy. Have you ever drank in your life?”

Allen surprisingly laughs at the comment. “Always hidden from mommy and daddy, but I do drink.”

“Are you up to do it tonight?” Kanata wonders with a smirk, but he’s ready to be declined.

“I am. I told them I would come home after midday and that I would stay at a friend’s apartment.”

“Oh, the trust fund baby knows how to lie”, Kanata jokes, and Allen nods, grinning.

“I gotta survive somehow.”

“Sure thing, baby boy. Nayuta, let's go drink something.”

Nayuta didn't argue and kissed Shiki's cheek before they left the place.

“Wanna bet on how long it will take for them to start dating?” Nayuta whispered when the violinist and his brother were walking in front of them, distant enough to not hear.

“D-Do you think so?” Shiki wonders.

“Observe them tonight and let's set the bet.”

Shiki looked at the topic of their talk and didn't answer.

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“So this is the bar…” Allen says to himself impressed. “I didn't know you had a bar, that's pretty cool.”

“It’s Kanbayashi’s bar. I just live upstairs with Ryu”, Shiki explains and opens the door.

“Welcome”, Yohei says automatically and he smiles a little for his kid. “I thought you wouldn't sleep here tonight.”

Allen observes Andou cheeks reddening even though it was dark.

“I sent on the group chat that we would be coming tonight.”

“That's true, Yohei. I think I forgot to mention”, Saimon says and drinks a bit more.

“Oh my Goodness… The XXXX members are right in front of me…”

“So, who's that?”, Yohei questions curiously.

The violinist takes his mask off but keeps his wig. “I'm Allen Sugasano. I'm a big fan and it's an honor meeting you!”

“Sugasano?” Naoakira blinks in disbelief. “You're Sugasano's child?”

“Ah…” He realizes they know him. “Yes, that's me…”

“So the rumors are true”, Yohei mentions and Allen smiles weirdly.

“It is and you should shut up about it”, Kanata says and sits on the counter. “Give me that drink I like.”

“Arrogant as always…” Kanbayashi says, but starts making the drink anyway.

“Where's Ryu?” Nayuta asks when he notices that it is not the white-haired who was doing the drink.

“He wanted ice cream but there's none in the fridge, so he went to the convenience store to buy something.”

“Oh, that's what I forgot to buy yesterday…” Andou thinks out loud. “Let me put it on the next list before I forget.” He gets his phone to type.

“So, what are you gonna drink?” Yohei questions while Allen is sitting next to Kanata.

“I think I'll start with a Mojito.” The man behind the counter nods.

“Did you enjoy tonight?” Kanata questions while looking at his brother sitting on the piano with his boyfriend.

“It was awesome! I can't believe you sang a song from your second album! I felt like I was brought back a few years in the past! And you on stage were brilliant as always. You have something like an aura around you that-. I'm sorry. Anne and Hajun say it's a bad habit I have to rumble about hip-hop.”

Kanata wondered why the rumbling was not irritating, but he didn't say a thing about it. “Why do you prefer hip-hop?” He asked instead.

“Classic music is pretty… But it was never meant to be for me. It's excessively performative: your finger must be on the right place on the bow, your palm can't touch the violin, the clothes must be appropriated…” He sighed. “And I just never could pour my soul on it. Not like I do with hip-hop. Not like Buraikan showed me it could be.”

“Buraikan are the legends…” Kanata smiled in agreement. “I can see why you like them, but how did you discover cozmez?”

“Here are your drinks”, Yohei put it in front of them.

“It was just a coincidence… There was this rap battle I went to and you were there. I just… I just couldn't take my eyes off you…” He drank a bit of his mojito. “I don't understand this aura you have on stage, but I think that's part of what makes you the new legend of hip-hop.”

“I'm not a legend…”

“Nayuta also has it, but it's not as bright as yours. Even so, you've never overshadowed him.” Allen drinks a bit more. “It was just impossible to not become cozmez fan after seeing you for the first time. I knew you would make your voice be heard and your name be known.”

Kanata drank his drink all at once. “I remember your posts. Nayuta always talked about Suzaku, the one who was always going to our shows and speaking about on X.”

“Ah!! Please don't say it!! It's embarrassing knowing you saw my posts! I do like talking about hip-hop as Suzaku but it's to reach other hip-hop fans, not for you to see.”

“Quite impossible if you tag us in almost every post you do.”

“I wanted people to easily find cozmez to follow, okay?”

Kanata smirked. “You sound like those fanatic girls with pop groups, you know?” He looked at Yohei. “Gimme another one.”

“Ryu said he found Hokusai on his walk, so he will stay with him for a bit.” Naoakira warns and gives his glass. “Can you make another one?”

“That idiot… Does he even remember he should be here working?” The bartender gets the glass from both customers.

Saimon laughs. “Leave him a bit, he'll be back soon.”

“I may be one. It's a way to escape reality.” He laid on the counter. “I wish I had the freedom to be Suzaku.”

These words kept on Kanata's mind for the rest of the night.

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Allen woke up startled with his alarm. Then, he looked around and noticed he didn't have any idea of where he was. It took a few seconds until he started remembering his last night drinking with cozmez.

He just couldn't hold his smile and his happiness. He finally saw cozmez on stage this year and he went to drink with them at TCW’s bar. It was the best night of his year and probably the best present gift he has ever received.

“Not that they think this was a gift present…” Allen murmurs to himself, losing his smile.

“Are you stupid?”

“Kanata!?” He screams and puts his hand on his heart. “Damn, you scared me.”

“What were you talking about alone?”

“Nothing!” He answers convicted. “I'm sorry, did my alarm wake you up?”

“I was already awake. You said you should leave around eleven o’clock, so I thought someone should be awake.”

“Nayuta is still asleep?”

Kanata smirked. “You really fell asleep quickly after we arrived, huh?”

“I… don't drink that much…”

“Pretty obvious.” Allen didn't care to answer back. “They had a good round of drunk sex, so my guess is that they will wake up around two.” Allen felt his face becoming warmer and Kanata laughed. “Don’t tell me you never had sex in your life.”

Allen rolled his eyes. “It's not that I've never had sex. It's just embarrassing thinking that someone was having sex on the next door.”

“Yeah, yeah. Say whatever you want. Now stand up front the sofa cuz it's a ten minutes walk to the station. Or are you asking for a taxi?”

“Nah, I'm fine with the train. I gotta save some money.”

“Save money?”

“It's my ultimate goal, I guess.” He smiles weakly. “Since I was sixteen a good part of the profit I make it's on my account, so I've been trying to save the money to buy a nice apartment. Even if I keep working as a violinist I wish I could at least have my own life, you know?” Kanata didn't react. “Sorry”, he asked, noticing he shouldn't have said anything and stood up. “Where's the-”

“That door.” Kanata pointed to it and the red-haired nodded.

Yatonokami looked at the cellphone on the sofa and pressed the button to see the wallpaper. There was nothing, but it was not a surprise considering the thing he liked the most shouldn't be seen nor heard. Then, he folded the blanket and took it to his room while wondering about the idea he had while everyone was asleep.

“Kanata”, Sugasano called the youngest from his room’s door. “I am going.” He observed Sugasano with his wig and his mask for a second before nodding.

“I'll take you to the station.”

“It's not necessary. Sleep a bit more, I know it's a bit early considering we arrived late…”

“There's something I want to talk to you about.”

“Oh… Okay…”

They left the apartment and started walking in silence.

“Have you ever thought about a feat?”

“A feat?” Allen questions without understanding. “I mean, yeah, but doing a feat means I would need to reveal my face to someone, so…”

“I already know you.”

Allen blinked a few times, digesting the intention behind those words.

“Are you telling me you would like to do a feat with me?”

“So what?” Allen stays quiet, trying to hold his tears, but the other notices it anyway. “Are you fucking crying?”

“I'm sorry”, the violinist asks. “It's just… Being Suzaku is awesome, don't get me wrong. Suzaku is my small freedom, but it's deeply solitary doing everything on my own and never having someone to share things with. A feat with someone… Moreover being you it's… It's unbelievable… I feel like I've been living a dream since I met you.”

Since popularity and recognition brought him money, Kanata realized that even though he had what it was necessary to buy things he never could during infancy, it didn't mean it would buy everything he wanted. And Allen was a great proof of it. The man may have had many things in life, but the thing he wanted the most was far away from his grasp.

“If you want it, we can manage it.”

“Thank you, Kanata. I know you're not exactly a fan of feats…”

“Tsk. It's not that I'm not a fan of feats, it's just that people don't know how to discuss and accept ideas.”

“Is it about other people or about yourself?” Sugasano tried a joke to break the strange mood he left.

“Huh!? Other people of course!”

The red-haired finally laughed. A most suitable expression for him, in Yatonokami’s opinion.

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Allen analyzes the contract he has with his manager before sighing and puts it on the table.

“I hate that you guys are right”, Allen murmurs without energy.

“What can we do if your head is only hip-hop?” Anne tries to humor him, but it doesn’t seem to work. They sigh before continuing. “Look, Allen. We support your feat with cozmez. We really do. But after that trending topic we think you should be-”

“I know”, Allen cuts them. “I know you’re just worried. I’m just frustrated that this feat will mean that people will connect the dots and discover who Suzaku is.”

“I mean, it’s not that difficult”, Faulkner thinks out loud. “People will just finally relate your voice from interviews to Suzaku’s.”

“I already told you”, Hajun starts from the kitchen, “we have space for one more person in this apartment. You’re always welcome.”

“Thank you, Hajun. I’m pretty sure I’ll be kicked out of home when they discover, so maybe I will start bringing my things little by little.” He locks his eyes on his contract again. “But what should I do about my manager?”

“Tanaka seems to be a tranquil person and she seems to like you”, Anne mentions while the blond serves them a cup of coffee. “Oh~! Thank you, Hajun!” They drink their coffee.

“I think Anne’s right.” The blond sits on the sofa. “You should talk to her about your situation. There's the small possibility that she would break the contract and sign a new one with only you.” He tries being positive for his friend once in life and drinks his coffee.

“Do you think so?” Allen doubtfully asks. “Even so, if this feat will make people finally realize who Suzaku is, I’m not even sure if people will stay as my fans… Is it worth it to keep having Tanaka as my manager? I’m not even sure I will have the money to pay her.”

“Well, that's what you should agree on with her. I can ask a Yeon lawyer for help and you won’t need to pay for it.”

“You’re a lifesaver”, Allen says. “Thank you, Hajun. I don’t know what I would do without both of you.”

“You would be screwed. That’s a fact”, Hajun says and Allen can’t deny it. “But I think it's time for you to stop pretending.”

Allen drinks a bit of his coffee. “It's not like I don't like playing violin… I just wish I could do both without any issue…”

“If you can't keep paying Tanaka…” Faulkner mentions. “Then you should try a plan with her before the contract ends.”

“What do you mean?”

“Anne is right. You should plan everything with her now and try dealing with things later on your own since she won't be here anymore.”

Allen keeps drinking. “It will be a lucky thing if I keep doing both.”

“I don't think so”, Yeon opines with a smile. “You just need to see the world without your parents.”

Allen hoped his friend was right.

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“It's been a while, Tanaka. Please, enter. Allen is preparing tea for you, but you can wait on the sofa”, Hajun says before giving space for the woman to enter the apartment.

“Excuse me, Yeon. Thank you for having me in your apartment.”

“I have to leave now, but, please, don't worry about being in my apartment. It was the most convenient place for Allen to talk to you.”

She nodded and observed the man leaving before going to sit on the sofa. It didn't take more than a minute for the red-haired to appear with the mentioned tea.

“Good afternoon, Tanaka.” He gave her the cup. “Thank you for agreeing on meeting me and not telling my parents.”

“Well, anything for my favorite violinist”, she joked and he weakly laughed. “So, what's so important that you want to talk to me without your parents' knowledge?”

He observed his tea before smiling awkwardly. “I think I'm about to create my first big scandal.”

She kept in silence for a few seconds, processing the information that seemed so absurd. “My apologies, Allen. I think I misheard you…”

“You heard me correctly: I intend to cause a scandal, and probably a huge one.”

The woman sighed. “Fine. What are you planning to do?”

“Have you ever heard about Suzaku?”

“I'm not sure I'm aware of whatever this is…” Allen got his cellphone and opened one of his songs and played it for her. Naturally, she didn't need more than fifteen seconds to guess who was singing. “Since… Since when do you do this?”

“Around six years.”

“Six years!? Are you kidding me, right? There's no way people never discovered you in six years.”

“Honestly, I don't know how my two worlds didn't collide yet”, he agreed. “But I intend to make it happen.”

Tanaka observed him drinking the tea, but she couldn't find the answer she wanted. “Why do this now?” And she saw him smiling happily and sincerely.

“It was not on my plans. Actually, it was Anne and Hajun who noticed.” She kept listening attentively. “The last scandal with cozmez and Buraikan in the theater.”

“So it was you.” He nodded.

“It was me.” She drank her tea hoping it would calm her down. “They are all my friends. And Kanata, one of cozmez member’s, said he wants to do a feat with me.”

“I see”, she realized the results. “You'll be discovered.”

“Precisely. And my parents won't be happy.”

“Are you sure that's what you want?”

He smiled again, but it seemed from someone who was tired. “I think it's time to stop pretending.”

She understood him. “Listen, Allen. I know your parents. I've been taking care of their career even before you were born.” He nodded. “I know how much they despise hip-hop. And… I know about your vinyl collection…”

“Oh… I didn't know you were aware of it…”

“I am. They told me I should be aware of any suspicious movement that could put you back on track with hip-hop.” She smiled. “I guess I didn't do a good job in this case.”

“I’m glad you never discovered it.”

“Allen”, she caught his attention again. “I’m sorry, but I won't be able to help you. My contract with you will be terminated when the scandal starts. Your parents' contract is furthermore advantageous for me in terms of money. And I don't have any doubts they will make me pick a side.”

Sugasano nodded again. “I imagined it was impossible. My main goal with this talk is to create a plan with you before I lose you.”

Tanaka smirked, glad with the idea. “I guess you're not the baby I once saw in your mom's arms anymore.” She finishes her tea and puts it on the table in front of the sofa. “Very well, tell me what you have in mind and maybe we can create something. However, I do not make any promises.”

“Thank you, Tanaka! You're the best!” He smiled widely and she knew he was doing what was better for his life.

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“I think I'm more nervous than I should be”, Allen says looking at Hajun and Anne behind the cellphone on a tripod.

“Allen”, Hajun calls, “it's already recording.”

“Huh? Ah!! Hajun, let's start again!!”

Anne laughs. “It's okay, Allen. Just start saying what you want.”

“Ahn… Right… So… Today is November 14th and I'm recording this video because I know many of you have doubts about what exactly is going on.” He sees Faulkner with a thumbs up and he tries continuing. “As you may have noticed, I, Allen Sugasano, am also Suzaku.”

“Does it mean cozmez and Buraikan in Sugasano's concert was your fault?” Faulkner asks one of the questions.

“Yes, it is.” He laughs weakly. “Sorry, it's a bit funny to finally admit it. But yes, I know them, they are people I deeply admire and they decided to take a look at one of my works for once.”

“How long are you friends with them?” Yeon asks this time.

“I know Buraikan since I was sixteen and I met cozmez on my birthday. However, both were great coincidences, I never expected to meet them.”

“But it's your fan dream coming true, right?” Anne jokes, leaving the script for a bit and the violinist smiles and nods.

“Definitely! I mean, they are all legends! Buraikan is a name that even people who are not into hip-hop know. And cozmez have been making their name and their path to the top. They are the young legends and it's crazy I know them!”

Anne laughed. “Allen, you're showing your hip-hop maniac side too much.” He gets embarrassed an decides it is better to stop talking.

“So, let's answer the great question?” Hajun suggests and Allen nods again. “Why did you keep Suzaku's existence hidden?”

Allen taps his fingers on the floor as if he was practicing the C scale on piano. He knew they practiced the questions and answers but he was still nervous about it. “I love hip-hop. It's a part of me that I thought would never be mine until I started doing things as Suzaku. There was no space for it in my life as something professional at the time I started being Suzaku, so I tried doing things on the sly. And it worked. Throughout the years people started listening to Suzaku and loving it, which I'm really grateful for. Thank you so much to those who like my works as Suzaku.”

“You even made some commissions in the last few years, right?” SWANK’s creator mentions, which was not in the script, but the red-haired tries keeping on track.

“That's true. When I received my first commission I was truly shocked. I never thought someone could be interested in my work at this point.”

“Indeed amazing, Allen. But tell us one thing: you said you love hip-hop.” The man in front of the cameras nodded. “Does it mean you don't like classical music?”

Allen makes a X with his arms. “This is not true. I love the violin, as well as the piano and singing. There are songs I use violin and piano and I believe this is proof enough. But, they don't fill me completely and hip-hop is what finished fulfilling me. I am not complete if there isn't classical music and hip-hop in my life.”

“So, what's your plan now that everyone knows you have two different careers in music?” The blond also makes the next questions.

“I would like to try to continue doing both because it's what I've been doing and what I like to do. For this reason, I would like to ask for everyone's support so I can keep doing my best on classical music and on hip-hop.”

“Awesome!” Anne says. “I think this helps answering some of your fans' questions, right?”

“I hope so.” He bows for the camera. “I'm counting on you from now on.”

“And…! Cut!” Hajun smiles at Faulkner's drama.

“I think Tanaka will like the video. I think it's the best damage containment you can plan to do before you cannot contact her anymore.”

Again, Allen hoped his friend was right.

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In the end, Allen needed to involve cozmez in his plans. When Tanaka first mentioned he should have a few photos and videos with them, he felt terrible to need to annoy them with such a bothersome request, especially considering that both are not close to their social media as they should.

“You need what?” Kanata asks, already predicting the headache it would bring.

“I need us to work on photos and videos together for social media after the song's release.”

“Allen”, Kanata tried being patient with the man. “You follow our work, you know that's not how we work.”

“I know…”

“So why are you trying to do things in the way we don't do? You never even showed your face before.”

“Oh…” Nayuta realizes.

“What?” Kanata asks, still not connecting the dots.

“You wanna show you're Allen.” The red-haired nods.

“Why?” Kanata is confused. It wasn't making sense revealing his face since it would mean his parents would discover he was again involved with hip-hop.

“A feat with cozmez will bring an attention I never had and people will surely discover who Suzaku is.”

No matter how much Kanata wished to see Allen free, this was too sudden. “Are you sure you wanna release this feat?”

Sugasano smiled. “I'm sure. I am actually ready for this. I just…” He smiled nervously.

Nayuta exchanged looks with his brother. It was clear that this type of thing was not their cup of tea, but Nayuta also knew Kanata would do anything for the violinist, so he only nodded.

“Fine, we'll help you” Kanata decided and he felt the headache would be worth it when he saw the violinist’s smile.

“Thank you, you both!”

“So, what do you exactly have in mind, Suzaku?” Nayuta tried breaking the moment before his brother could do something weird.

“I was talking to my manager-”

“Why am I surprised you have one?”

“Kanata, we also have one.”

“Yeah, but I didn't think someone who plays violin would need one.”

“It's not only him.” Kanata nods, understanding Allen's parents were also part of the equation.

The twins looked at Sugasano, waiting for him to continue. “What?”

“Keep going”, both answer as if it was obvious.

“R-Right. So, I was talking to my manager and she advised me that I should be in command of this scandal rather than leave everything to the caos.”

“Oh, I see!” Nayuta says interested. “So the plan is to promote the song as Allen to have control over the situation.”

“That's right. But I plan on promoting it only after the release. As I said, it means my parents will discover I'm Suzaku.”

Kanata raised an eyebrow. What… “What will it mean for you?”

“For me?”

“Yeah, what will happen to you when they discover?”

“I will lose everything I ever tried to keep close: my parents. Which also means I won't have a home anymore.” He laughed in an attempt to shake the sadness off.

“You can stay here, Kanata says immediately and Nayuta doesn't know if he's holding himself from laughing because his brother was completely captivated by Allen or because the answer was excessively fast.

“Oh… Thank you. That's very kind, but I already have a place to stay. I'm slowly taking the necessary things to Hajun’s apartment.”

“That's good. You seem to have good friends”, Nayuta answers because he's aware his twin was too disappointed to say something.

“They are”, Sugasano agrees. “So, would you be down for the photos and videos?”

“Count us on”, they answer in unison and Allen smiles relieved.

“Can you promise me one thing though?” Allen raises an eyebrow to Kanata. “Can you record their reaction?”

“Record?”

“It can be just your cell phone recorder in your pocket. I just wanna know how they will react when they confront you.”

“I think I can do it” the man agrees to the idea.

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“Damn, the pre-save numbers are insane”, Nayuta mentions laid down on the sofa. “This feat will definitely trend us.”

“You're actually already trending”, Shiki corrected, caressing Nayuta’s hair on his lap. “People are excited to know who's the feat with since it wasn't mentioned.”

“Mystery is always the best strategy”, Allen jokes and Kanata observes Allen's hand practicing the C scale with one of his hands on the floor they are sitting on. It took him some time to understand it is a mechanism the man has to deal with anxiety.

“Did you take everything from home?” Kanata asked, worried the red-haired would not even be able to step home.

“I did. My parents don't step inside my room so they don't know the room is actually empty now. When I told them I wouldn't sleep at home yesterday I got my last things and put them in the bag.”

“You're so brave…” Shiki whispers, but he ends up being heard for everyone who looks at him.

“Thank you”, Allen appreciates. “But I don't think that's the case… I think it's already passed the time to do things on my own.”

“Feeling too old?” Nayuta asks and Allen nods, still practicing with his fingers.

“I'm already 24, I shouldn't be under my parents' wings anymore… It’s ridiculous that I'm so afraid of them.”

“You're surviving on your own way”, Kanata caught everyone's eyes. “It's not because you're older than us and still living with your parents that you're just living under their wings. The most important thing here is their love, isn't it?” Kanata smiled a bit, remembering his mother. “You were just trying to save this feeling and that's fine.”

Allen stops his fingers. He felt relieved someone understood him. “Sometimes I think it's silly to keep loving them if they don't love part of me.”

“That's… not how things work. Trust me, Nayuta and I know it.” Allen looked at the twin on the sofa and received a smile of agreement.

“Thank you, Kanata.”

They felt into silence. Allen got his phone and started answering excited messages from Anne and a simple one from Hajun regarding the song that apparently was released. Then, after a minute of silence Shiki chose to break it. “The video your manager posted was just two minutes ago but it's already blowing up. There are so many comments I can't read them all.”

“The song was released then?” Nayuta asks and gets his boyfriend's cellphone to see what people are saying. “By the way, tomorrow another song will be released, right?”

“Right”, Allen agrees. “I'm really glad I can say I have a song with Kanata.”

Shiki and Nayuta exchanged looks and shook their heads. Allen wasn't aware of what he was provoking in the other man.

“Well, it's the genius violinist and the new legend of hip-hop, I think it's a good comb”, Nayuta comments.

Allen unlocked his cellphone, looking at his LINE.

“Wondering when they will notice?” Kanata asks quietly.

“Yeah… It feels like this anxiety is eternal. I want to deal with this now.” Kanata wished he could do something, but he was not sure what he was supposed to do to help Allen at the moment. “Let's play something”, Allen asked. “Or I think I'm gonna die if keep thinking about this.”

“We could try that one we draw and the other try guessing what it is”, Nayuta nodded at Shiki's idea.

“Kanata never played but we played it once with Akanyatsura and Ryu, it was interesting.”

“I like this one. Let's play it”, Sugasano approved.

They started playing, but it didn't take many rounds for them to conclude they were all better with hip-hop instead of drawing. Still, they kept playing unstoppably to keep Allen distracted.

“And how am I supposed to know this is a fucking viola!?” Nayuta asked irritated. “Remember me why did we choose musical instruments, please”, he said, looking at Andou who only laughed.

“What’s the difference between a violin and viola anyway?” Kanata seemed to be asking a rhetorical question, but Allen decided to answer anyway.

“Their sizes are a bit different. The viola is bigger, besides, its pitch is lower. There are some other differences, but for you this is the relevant part.”

“Aren't you too cocky?” Nayuta questions without caring about the answer.

“That was not my first impression of you”, Kanata agrees.

A cell phone starts ringing and they notice it's Allen's one. He picks the call up. “Hello.”

“You have an hour to be home.” A man's voice said rudely before hanging up.

“I guess it's my moment to go.”

“Good luck, Allen”, Shiki wishes.

“Good luck”, Nayuta wishes as well and Kanata takes Sugasano to the door.

“Are you gonna be fine?” The question comes when Sugasano opens the door, with his shoes on and ready to leave.

Allen laughs, because he never ever been this deep in the dark, not knowing where to step next. “I guess so.”

Kanata looked at the apprehension in those red eyes and sighed, giving up on holding himself. “Wait a second.” He heads inside and gets his cellphone.

“Knew it.” Kanata looked at the smug smile on his brother's face. “Shiki, you're owing me 1000¥.”

Kanata didn't have time to fight his twin. Instead, he rolled his eyes and headed to the entrance door, putting his shoes on.

“Let's go.”

“Let's go?? Wait, Kanata, you can't go with me.”

“I can. And I'm going.”

Allen felt as a child, but he indeed lost as one, so he didn't complain, instead, he chose silence and without exchanging any words they headed to the train station.

Their smartphones tapped the entrance gate of the station after eleven minutes and they went down the stairs to the correct platform, which the train took them to another station where they transferred trains. After thirty five minutes they tapped their smartphones again to leave.

Kanata wished that rather than sounding like a brat every time he opened his mouth, he was better with words. Still, when they reached Sugasano's home, he needed to say at least the bare acceptable minimum.

“Allen”, he called, having those shaking eyes on him, “you can do it. If we're frenemies, then you can handle this.”

Allen smiled. It was genuine and Kanata was glad he was able to reassure the other one.

“Thank you”, he whispered, his voice so low that Yatonokami wondered if the voice he heard was something his mind made up.

Sugasano finally unlocked the door with his key and soon they found the Sugasano's in the huge living room, sitting on the sofa and waiting. Their eyes reached the newcomers.

“Of course you would bring this piece of shit”, the pianist said. “You even had the audacity to place them in our event.”

Kanata didn't answer, but he placed his hand on Allen's shoulder, refraining the man from doing something foolish on his behalf.

“So, what did you want to talk to me about?”

“As if you don't know!” The woman exclaimed, irritated and stood up. “How dare you ruin everything we constructed for you!” She started walking in their direction and Kanata knew what was coming of her. “Do you have any idea of how much time and money we placed on your behalf!?” She raised her arm, but before it could hit Allen's face, Kanata held it.

“Don't you dare.” He saw apprehension in her eyes for a millisecond, but she noticed he wouldn't do anything besides protecting Allen.

She refused to talk to him and looked again at his son. “So much effort for you to… To throw it in the trash because of this stupid hip-hop!” He looked at Kanata with aversion. She snorted. “Genius… I don't where the fuck you're supposed to be a genius making such a stupid thing.”

“There's no coming back from this”, the father mentioned from behind, finally standing up. “You clearly have chosen your path and this means you're not welcome here anymore. It was my intention to say you would have three days to take your things somewhere, but by the empty look of your room, it seems you're fully aware of the consequences this childish action would cause.”

“Stupid. Foolish”, he recalled the words they said. “Call it whatever you want”, Allen started, excessively calm in Kanata's opinion, “because something that makes me happy and complete… And that I have been so sure about for more than eight years… This can't be any of this. I love you. Both of you. But if your narrow minds can't see over your opinions, then it's clear that our paths are diverging here and now. And I'm ready for this.” He smiled sadly. “I'm just not sure if I can't say the same about you since it seems you just see me as your piece of work that was supposed to be perfect.” He took a deep breath, trying to not break. “Was it everything you wanted to talk about?”

Her mother smirked. “I saw your video with that long haired boy and that Yeon's failure.” Kanata raised an eyebrow. He didn't expect them to play so low as to insult his son's friends, but it seemed that he underestimated these adults

“Don't talk like this about my friends!”

She ignored him, satisfied with enraging him. “You said you wish to continue on this path we built for you.”

Allen didn't understand what conclusion she was planning to reach. “Well, yes, I can like two areas and be great in both.”

“From the moment you chose hip-hop, you chose to dishonor our efforts. This means we'll make sure you don't have a place on the same stage as us. You can play this… disgusting thing in your slums.”

“You people with deep pockets like to think you can do whatever you want because you have the money to get what you want”, Kanata comments. “But if you think we don't have our dirty methods, you will regret going against Allen and I'll make sure of it.”

“Kanata…” Allen reprimanded. "I don't know what you have in mind, but we're not doing anything.” He looked at his parents. “I don't plan on playing dirty. If that's what you want to do, I can't stop you. I don't have the money to fill someone's pocket as you, but I have my own voice to reach people as I've been doing without your knowledge in the last years. And if hip-hop will be my only option, I am fine with that.” He looked at his parents in a mix of disappointment and sadness. “I wish this could end differently.”

“It would have ended differently if you had chosen the right thing.”

He shook his head. “I don't need to repeat myself. I think this is enough.” He knew he had been clear when he said they were intolerant. “Just for your information, Tanaka doesn't have access to my SNS anymore. All passwords were changed, so don't worry, message me and I'll come to sign the end of our contract.” He bowed. “Thank you for everything until now.”

Allen got Kanata by the arm and pulled him to leave the place as quickly as possible. When they were out of Sugasano's land, Allen released his arm, but he kept walking fast, wanting distance.

“Wait, Allen!” Kanata asked when they were close to the train station. The red-haired didn't stop, so he pulled the man by the hand.

Their eyes locked and Kanata finally saw the teary eyes. He felt bad for Allen.

“I know”, he could only say and hugged Sugasano. Surprisingly, the height difference didn't stop him from hiding his face on Yatonokami's shoulder to cry, and caressing that hair didn't seem a wrong thing to do.

“I practiced”, the choked voice confessed. “A lot.”

“Yeah, I noticed.” Kanata smiled. “You did a great job. Still, I wish you had screamed at them.” Allen seemed to weakly laugh, but the twin was not sure about it since he couldn't see.

“But it wasn't enough. I almost broke in front of them.”

“I would have defended you.” Allen nodded on his shoulder. “You were amazing. I'm pretty sure they didn't expect what you said or how you behaved.”

“That was the intention…”

“I noticed.” Allen broke their hug, raising his head and moving away, cleaning his face for the next second.

“I didn't expect mom to hit me.”

“Oh, I know when a slap is coming from a mile away”, Yatonokami admitted and smiled. “It's a good thing she didn't hit you.”

“Thank you.”

Kanata nodded. “But I was talking seriously before.” He raised his cellphone. “Whenever you want, I have this talk recorded on my cell phone. This can actually destroy their career if you want.”

Allen was dumbfounded. He never expected that Kanata would record, much less use it as a tool for his defense.

“Thank you”, he said after some time open-mouthed. “It's good to know I have something to use against them, but I really don't want to do it.”

“It's just a resource, we don't need to use it.” Allen nods and Kanata smiles at him. “C'mon. I'm starting to starve here, let's pay Shura a visit.”

Allen smiled hugely. “So you admit you go there to see Shura.”

“Never said that.”

Allen finally laughed. “Right. I'm gonna pretend I believe it.”

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Allen woke up on the sofa again. It was immensely uncomfortable, but it was greatly comforting waking up on the cozmez sofa. Naturally, it was not a bed, however, recognizing where he was laid down meant remembering he was invited by Kanata and that they had some sort of connection.

Or at least that's how Allen likes to think.

He got his phone to check the time. It was still early, before 8 o'clock. Then, he unlocked it to check his LINE, where there were only messages on his group with his flatmates and opened the chat.

“@Allen how dare you say you're sleeping on cozmez and disappear without saying nothing more????” Anne messaged after his last message on the day before.

It was not exactly on his plans. Allen was just not sure he wanted to talk about everything with his friends and he knew Kanata saw through him and invited him over, which he deeply appreciated.

“Allen, I know you're ignoring us, but you really should check X… Kanallen was already trending but DID YOU REALLY NEED TO BE SPOTTED LIKE THIS WITH KANATA?????” Anne messaged again with a picture of him on Kanata's shoulder.

Allen gulped nervously. He didn't need to think further to know the term kanallen meant a ship involving him and Kanata. The left the chat to open his social media and his notifications were a mess. He decided it was useless to check, so he moved to the trending topic, where he found the ship name still on highlight.

The photo Anne sent was present in several posts with people talking about how gentle and adorable Kanata was and wondering what had happened to him. Other posts were prints of videos he recorded with cozmez, and people were certain Kanata had a crush on Allen based on the way Kanata was constantly looking at him.

Sugasano felt his face burning in embarrassment. The idea that Kanata could be romantically interested in him was ridiculous, but he couldn't avoid not feeling flustered.

As if sensing the right moment to appear, Nayuta's room's door opened, revealing the owner completely sleepy and scratching his belly with his hand under the pyjama while yawning.

“Uh? Already awake?” He asked, a bit surprised.

“Y-Yeah…” Allen locked the screen nervously.

“I hope you were not watching porn”, Nayuta sincerely said based on the red cheeks he was seeing.

“I was not!” Allen exclaimed desperately and Nayuta laughed.

“I'll believe you cuz you don't have a boner.” Sugasano fastly gets the blanket and covers his legs to hide his body. “Damn, I was joking. What are you? A virgin?”

“I'm not…” Allen murmured, aware that any answer wouldn't convince Yatonokami.

“Yeah, sure”, he answers, confirming Allen's suspicions. “So, did you finally check your X? Anne was crying because you weren't answering them.” Nayuta and Anne were a strange friendship, but they seemed to have fashion as a common topic and this seemed to be enough for them to bond somehow. “I will take your silence as a yes. You finally noticed Kanata's crush on you.”

Allen's eyes widened. People weren't seeing things as they wanted and creating nonsense narratives!? Kanata truly liked him!?

“Please stop joking about this, it is not funny”, he tried a defensive answer.

“Are you kidding, Allen?” Nayuta asked, getting closer. “I never saw him treating someone as he treats you. You can't be this dumb.”

Allen looked away. “Maybe I am”, he whispered and Nayuta sighed.

“Look, nobody's telling you to reciprocate. Just… He's my brother and I know you're not a bad person, so… Just try to not hurt him too much.” And Allen nodded, because there wasn't much he could say. “Damn, I really need to pee”, Nayuta complained before running to the bathroom and leaving Allen to think about the situation.

Allen had a few girlfriends and he secretly kissed some men in bars in the U.S., so he wasn't inexperienced in the area. However, everything was always somehow calculated to not disappoint his parents. If he was interested in Kanata it would mean he would try a relationship free of any obstacles.

Tasting true freedom was strange.

He decided to forget about it for a bit to read what people were talking besides… Kanallen…

It was heartwarming to realize that people were supporting Allen. The narrative’s construction seemed to have a positive effect and his fans seemed to be interested in supporting both his sides on music. Furthermore, several cozmez fans seemed to like him and were starting to check his work and send him messages of support.

“Good morning, everyone! I’m pretty sure yesterday was shocking and I'd like to thank all the messages of support! It means a lot to have you by my side.” He posted on X.

He kept reading things about him, some people were criticizing his taste in hip-hop, some were criticizing not choosing between both, but in the end all that mattered to him was that most messages were supporting him.

“Morning”, Kanata said, sitting on his side and startling him.

“Morning, Kanata. Didn't expect you to wake up so soon.”

“Soon? It's past nine, it's not early.” Allen checked the time on the screen and Yatonokami was correct. When did time fly so much? “How long have you been checking your X?”

“Around one hour I think?” Allen answers unsure, but still surprised because he didn't even notice Nayuta going back to his room.

Kanata analyzes the man's reactions but doesn't say anything. “Want something to eat? I think I have some rice and I can make miso.” His stomach coincidentally answers for him and Kanata nods, standing up. “C'mon, let's feed you before you post on X I'm torturing you and people decide I'm a villain.”

Allen stands up to follow him. “You could never be a villain in my story.”

“Don't doubt people's power in changing a narrative.”

“But I would fight to prove your innocence anyway. I could never accept you being my villain.”

“Oh, I can't be a villain? Then, what role should I have?”

The word ‘lover’ echoed inside his head. “Friend? Rival?” But he couldn't say it out loud.

“Why can't I be the villain if you called us frenemies in our song?” Yatonokami got a bowl and gave it to Allen to serve himself from the rice cooker.

“You're my enemy on stage and stage only.” Allen starts getting the rice.

“Okay”, Kanata agrees. “I can accept it.” He gets a new bowl and starts preparing a miso soup. “Our song releases in ten minutes, by the way.”

“Oh…” Allen has forgotten it wasn't released yet. Would the song mean it would have more things for their fans to talk about and ship them?

“Aren't you excited?”

“I am. I just… Forgot…? Yesterday was hectic. I couldn't remember about it.”

Kanata nods and puts the miso soup close to Sugasano on the sink table and gets more bowls for him to eat as well.

“I…” Kanata stagnates and clears his throat. “I like doing this song with you”, he confessed and Allen obviously showed him the smile he liked to see.

“I liked it too! I do believe people will like it as we liked it.”

“Of course they will.”

And they felt in a comfortable silence while eating standing in the kitchen. Then, Allen washed the dishes while Kanata was in the bathroom and while Allen went to the bathroom, Kanata enjoyed the cold breeze from the balcony.

“Damn, it's freaking cold.”

Kanata smiled. “It's December after all.”

“That's true.” Allen got his cellphone and read a few posts about their, now, newly released song and he smiled before locking the screen again and putting the cellphone in his pocket. He observed some people walking on the streets. “It’s good to see our fans praising us and supporting us, but…” He laughed bitterly. “I think nothing's compared to their praises.”

Kanata waited for Allen to look at him and for their eyes to lock.

“You love them. And their praises are the best way you found to have their love.” Allen noticed it was true. “I think it's normal. It's not wrong to want to be loved by who is supposed to take care of you.” Kanata looks away to the landscape. “We already talked about our mother in a song or another, and you can notice she was not a good one.” Allen prefers to not express any opinion. “But she knew to say she loved us and how to pamper us with a cheap ice cream. And I can say I feel you when nothing hits like their praises.” He looked again at Allen. “Because nothing hits like the taste of those ice creams.”

Sugasano finally understood why Kanata was so comprehensive of him. Their history had different roots, but they were connected by a little similarity.

“Thank you, Kanata. I don't think I would ever have tried all this without you in my life.”

“That's what frenemies do”, Kanata joked and Allen cringed.

“I'm starting to regret this verse.”

Kanata disagreed and Allen could see it on those lips hiding a smile trying to appear. However, after checking the trending topics on the day before, as Nayuta asked him to, he realized he's not sure if the term fits them anymore.

“You know”, Kanata started and held himself from looking away, “rather than frenemies, I think there's a better word for us.”

Allen supposedly had an idea of what Kanata was talking about, but he permitted the man to disappear with the distance between them and pull him for a kiss to confirm what he was talking about.

And their kiss was fabulous. Without any urgency Allen explored Kanata's mouth and enjoyed every second of it while his hands locked on Kanata's face and hip.

“I guess I gotta agree with you”, Allen mentions when they stopped kissing, leading the other to hug him.

And Allen knew his freedom was worth his sacrifices.