Chapter Text
Renji looked at the scene in front of him, wide-eyed, before turning his head away quickly, feeling the blood rise to his cheeks.
‘Don’t tell me,’ he said quickly. ‘I don’t wanna know.’
Kira moaned in frustration; Renji could hear Hisagi sighing in obvious disapproval, too.
‘Honestly,’ the dark-haired lieutenant muttered in a low voice. ‘It’s not like we’re doing anything inappropriate.’
The redhead turned back and goggled at him in disbelief. ‘I walked in and you were stroking at Kira’s crotch with a napkin!!’
‘We were drinking tea, Abarai. I accidentally spilled my tea on his lap,’ Hisagi said evenly, the worn napkin flimsy and damp in his hand. He waved it, as if to make a point. ‘If you were thinking anything dirty, that’s hardly our fault.’
Renji ignored the napkin being waggled in his direction. ‘He was almost spread-eagled and he was panting and moaning.’
‘In pain, Abarai,’ the dark-haired lieutenant answered, sounding surprisingly patient; he turned away from the redhead and began dabbing at Kira’s lap again. ‘You would, too, if you had all this hot water spilled on you.’
Kira’s eyes were shut tight; he tilted his head back slowly and panted and hissed through his teeth, and Renji had no way of telling whether or not it was truthfully out of pain. He felt his face go warm in embarrassment.
‘Would you mind?’ he groaned through clenched teeth.
Hisagi looked up at him with a raised eyebrow and started stroking harder. ‘If you think you can do better, would you like to do it in my stead?’
Another moan cut through the air, and Renji clapped his hands over his ears and shook his head fiercely. ‘You did not just say that to me.’
The dark-haired lieutenant rolled his eyes. ‘You do realize, if I was really giving Kira what you think I’m giving him, I wouldn’t bother with a napkin. I’d use my bare hands.’
‘AAAAAAARGH!’
The redhead ran out of the house with his fingers in his ears, yelling in trauma all the way.
If he ever visited them during their tea break again, it’d be too soon.